Marriage is-Gad! I'm rather late! Hymen, who hears the blockheads groan, HAVE PATIENCE. round, and seeing who it was that spoke to him, in a fit of ecstasy replied, "Egad, so I will, to-morrow, if thou wilt have me.' PROLOGUE TO THE INCONSTANT, Like hungry guests a sitting audience looks: Bawdy's fat venison, which, tho' stale, can please: Your rarity, for the fair guest to gape on, Is your nice squeaker, or Italian capon; A simple countryman, who had in his person all the health and vigour which a rustic life affords, and about the age of thirty-two, having, three years before married an honest maid, of whom he always appeared doatingly fond, was attending her corpse at the grave with many heavy sighs and floods of tears. At the end of the funeral-service, as they began to fill the grave with the earth, he wrung his hands, tore his hair, and was ready to throw himself into the grave upon the coffin, vehemently exclaiming that he should not survive her. It happened that a buxom maid of the same parish, whose name was Patience, was standing by, and on whom the honest countryman at times had cast a wistful look, who seeing him so agitated, and grieving so much for the loss of his wife, with great concern said to him," John, John, A nobleman whose son was a hard drinker, and had have Patience."-The honest countryman turning | been cutting down all the trees upon his estate, in Yet since each mind betrays a different taste, RECOVERY OF A SPENDTHRIFT. quired of Charles Townshend, who had just returned The witness not answering, Mr. Dauncey repeated from a visit to him, "Well Charles, how does my-Have you always been a surgeon? graceless dog of a son go on?" "Why, I should think, my lord," said Charles," he is on the recovery, as I left him drinking the woods," LEARNED APOTHECARY. In an Act of Parliament made in 1815, entitled "Au Act for the better regulating the practice of Apothecaries," there is a very salutary clause, which enacts, "that from and after the first day of August, 1815, it shall not be lawful for any person (except persons already in practice as such) to practise as an apothecary in any part of England or Wales, unless he or they shall have been examined by the Court of Examiners of the Apothecaries' Company, and shall have received a certificate as such." The first conviction under this Act took place at the Staffordshire Lent Assizes of 1819, before Sir William Garrow, when the Apothecaries' Company brought an action against a man of the name of Warburton, for having practised as an apothecary without being duly qualified. The defendant it appeared was the son of a man who in the early part of his life had been a gardener, but afterwards set up as a cow leech. The facts were stated by Mr. Dauncey for the prosecution, and supported by evidence. Mr. Jervis, for the defence, called the father of the defendant, Arnold Warburton, to prove that he had practised as an apothecary before the passing of the Act. Cross-examined by Mr. Dauncey. Mr. Dauncey. Mr. Warburton, have you always been a surgeon? Witness appealed to the judge whether this was Witness. I am a surjent. Dauntey. Can you spell the word you have mentioned? Witness. My lord, is that a fair answer? Mr. Dauncey. I am unfortunately hard of hearing; have the goodness to repeat what you have said, sir. Witness. "Surgend." Mr. Dauncey. S-, what did you say next to S, sir? Witness. "Syurgund." Mr. Dauncey. Very well, sir, I am perfectly satisfied. Judge. As I take down the word sure, please to favour me with it once more. Witness. "Surgunt." Witness. "Sergurd." Mr. Dauncey. Sir, have you always been what you say? that word, I mean, which you have just spelt? (A long pause.) Mr. Dauncey. I am afraid, sir, you do not often take so much time to study the cases which cest before you, as you do to answer my question” ] do not, sir." Well, sir, will you please to answer it?" (A long pause, but no reply.)—“ Well, what were you originally, Doctor Warburton? that he never employed himself in gardening; he first | was a farmer, his father was a farmer. He (witness) ceased to be a farmer fifteen or sixteen years ago; he ceased because he had then learnt that business which he now is. "Who did you learn it of?"—" Is that a proper question, my lord?" I see no objection to it."" Then I will answer it; I learnt of Dr. Hulme, my brother-in-law; he practised the same as the Whitworth doctors, and they were regular physicians. Mr. Dauncey. Where did they take their degrecs? Witness. I don't believe they ever took a degree. "Then were they regular physicians?" No! I believe they were not, they were only doctors.""Only doctors; were they doctors in law, physic, or divinity?" They doctored cows, and other things, and humans as well." "Doubtless, as well: and you, I doubt not, have doctored brute animals as well as human creatures ?"-" I have." Judge to Witness. "Did you ever make up any medicine by the prescription of a physician?"-"I never did." "Do you understand the characters they use for ounces, scruples, and drachms?" I do not." **Then you cannot make up their prescriptions from reading them?"-"I cannot, but I can make up as good medicines in my way, as they can in theirs." **What proportion does an ounce bear to a pound?"[A pause]" There are 16 ounces to the pound, but we do not go by any regular weight, we mix ours by the hand." "Do you bleed ?"-" Yes." "With a Seam or with a lancet ?"-"With a lancet." "Do you bleed from the vein or from the artery?"— *From the vein." "There is an artery somewhere about the temples; what is the name of that artery?" I do not pretend to have as much learning as some have." "Can you tell me the name of that artery?" I do not know which you mean." "Suppose, then, was to direct you to bleed my servant or my horse which God forbid) in a vein, say for instance in the gular vein, where should you bleed him?"-" In se neck, to be sure." THE PLEASURES OF BRIGHTON. A new Song by the Civic Visitants. In the waters of Brighton are popping, And it's O! what will become of us? If we have nothing to do. Will soon make it straight as a dart :- (But he's always a playing his fun,) That the camel that bathes with two humps, Very often comes out with but one. quired of Charles Townshend, who had just returned The witness not answering, Mr. Danacey repeated LEARNED APOTHECARY. In an Act of Parliament made in 1815, entitled "Au Act for the better regulating the practice of Apothecaries," there is a very salutary clause, which enacts, "that from and after the first day of August, 1815, it shall not be lawful for any person (except persons already in practice as such) to practise as an apothecary in any part of England or Wales, unless he or they shall have been examined by the Court of Examiners of the Apothecaries' Company, and shall have received a certificate as such." Witness. I am a surjent. Dauntey. Can you spell the word you have mentioned? Witness. My lord, is that a fair answer! Witness. "6 Syurgunt." Mr. Dauncey. I am unfortunately hard of b ing; have the goodness to repeat what ya tare said, sir. Witness. "Surgend." Mr. Dauncey. S-, what did you say next,” Mr. Dauncey. Very well, sir, I am per satisfied. Judge. As I take down the word sure, Witness. "Sergur d." Mr. Dauncey. Sir, have you always braw you say? that word, I mean, which you have spelt? (A long pause.) The first conviction under this Act took place at the Staffordshire Lent Assizes of 1819, before Sir William Garrow, when the Apothecaries' Company brought an action against a man of the name of Warburton, for having practised as an apothecary without being duly qualified. The defendant it appeared was the son of a man who in the early part of his life had been a gardener, but afterwards set up as a cow leech. Mr. Dauncey. I am afraid, sir, you dont The facts were stated by Mr. Dauncey for the prose-take so much time to study the cases wher cution, and supported by evidence. before you, as you do to answer my quest->! do not, sir." Well, sir, will you pleas it?" (A long pause, but no reply.) —“ Wek, were you originally, Doctor Warburton? Mr. Jervis, for the defence, called the father of the defendant, Arnold Warburton, to prove that he had practised as an apothecary before the passing of the Act. Cross-examined by Mr. Dauncey. Mr. Dauncey. Mr. Warburton, have you always been a surgeon? Witness appealed to the judge whether this was a proper answer. The Judge. I have not heard any answer; Mr. Dauncey has put a question. Witness. Must I answer it? Judge. Yes: why do you object? Witness. I don't think it a proper answer. Judge. I presume you mean question, and I differ from you in opinion. Witness. "Sy urgend."-When you wor to business, what was that business? Wer gardener, Doctor Warburton?"-" Surgent "I do not ask you to spell that word again, fore you were of that profession, what wer "Sergun t." Mr. Dauncey. My lord, I fear I have than spell over this poor man, which he cannot get m Judge. Attend, witness; you are now t: c the questions put to you. You need not sp word any more. Mr. Dauncey. When were you a garden the never employed himself in gardening; he first à farmer, his father was a farmer. He (witness) ed to be a farmer fifteen or sixteen years ago; eased because he had then learnt that business h he now is. "Who did you learn it of?"—" Is a proper question, my lord?" I see no objecto it."" Then I will answer it; I learnt of Hulme, my brother-in-law; he practised the same e Whitworth doctors, and they were regular cians. Te to Witness. "Did you ever make up any be by the prescription of a physician?""I id. Do you understand the characters they ounces, scruples, and drachms?"-"I do not." you cannot make up their prescriptions from them ?"-"I cannot, but I can make up as edicines in my way, as they can in theirs." proportion does an ounce bear to a pound ?" There are 16 ounces to the pound, but at go by any regular weight, we mix ours by L "Do you bleed?"-"Yes." "With a with a lancet?"-" With a lancet." "Do d from the vein or from the artery?"the vein." "There is an artery somewhere temples; what is the name of that artery ?" not pretend to have as much learning as some "Can you tell me the name of that not know which you mean." "Suppose, then, direct you to bleed my servant or my horse od forbid) in a vein, say for instance in the in, where should you bleed him?"-" In to be sure." THE PLEASURES OF BRIGHTON. A new Song by the Civic Visitants. In the waters of Brighton are popping, And it's O! what will become of us? This here, ma'am, is Sally, my daughter, (But he's always a playing his fun,) And here is my little boy Jacky, It isn't the jaundice, I hope; Wou'd you recommend bathing? O surely, Your children torment you to jog 'em On donkeys that stand in a row, But the more you belabour and flog 'em, The more the cross creatures won't go. T'other day, ma'am, I thump'd and I cried, And my darling, roar'd louder than me, But the beast wouldn't budge till the tide Had bedraggled me up to the knee! And it's O! &c. |