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hall: one of these sloping recipients stood invitingly order for half an hour's time; and then plead a jusopen to shelter them from the storm: “Speluncam tification! We did so, and then gave the coachman Dido dux et Trojanas." Ah! those pyramidal hop- notice of set off

, entering the vehicle with a heypokes! The widow's brother from Town Malling | damme sort of aspect, plainly denoting to the two was serving upon the Grand Jury: bis sister's repu- | impatient insiders, that if there was any impertinence bation was dear to him as his own: “he'd call him in their Bill, we would strike it out without a referbrother, or he'd call him out," and Nicholas Nether-ence to the Master. The scheme took, and before sole and Anielia Jackson were joined together in we reached St. Leonard's, Shoreditch, egad! they boly matrimony.

were as supple as a couple of candidates for the lui. The widow Jackson, now Mrs. Nethersole, was a dia direction. Now that case, my dear, must yoprudent woman, and wished, as the phrase is, to vern this. Don't say a civil word to the Culpeppers

every body's good word. It was her advice about our marriage ; if you do, there will be no end that her husband should write to his niece, Mrs. Culs to their renonstrances : leave them to find it out in pepper, to acquai:at her with what had happened. the Morning Chronicle." She lad in fact drawn up a letter for his signature, “This is a very awkward affair, Mrs. Culpepper," in *lúch she tendered several satisfactory apologies said that lady's husband. with the Morning Chronifor the step, namely, that we are commanded to in- cle in liis hand. “ Awkward ?" echoed Mrs. Cul. crease and multiply: that it is not good for a man to pepper, "it's aboninable : a nasty fellow; be ought be alone : but chiefly that he had met with a wo to be ashamed of himself! And as for his wife, she saat possessed of cvery qualification to make the is no better than she should be!"--" That may lie, ". marriage state happy. " Why, no, my dear,” an said the husband, “but we must give them a dinner swered the Sergeant, “ with submission to you, (a notwithstanding." _" Dinner or no dinner,” said the plitase prophetic of the fact) it has been my rule wife, “I'll not langh any more at that stupid old lutoagh life, whenever I had done a wrozigor a foolish story of his abont Brother Van and Brother Brar." deed (here the lady frowned), never to own it: ne -" Then I will," resumed the husband,

u for tbere ter to suffer judgment to go by default, and thus may possibly be no issue of the marriage.” Miss Emain' in inercy,' bat boldly to plead a justification. Jennings, the outwitted spinster, tired two pair of I have a manuscript note of a case in point, in which horses in telling all ber friends from SouthamptonI was cuncerned. In my youth I'mixed largely street, Bloomsbury, to Cornwall-terrace, in the Reis the fashionable world, and regularly frequented gent's Park, how shamefully Mrs. Jackson had be. the Hackney assemblies, carrying my pumps in my haved. She then drove to the Register-office abovepocket. Jack Peters (he is now at Bombay) and mentioned, to transfer her affections to one Mr. byself

, went thither, as usual, on a moonsbiving Samuel Sinithers, another old bachelor barrister, an Monday, and slept at the Mermaid. The Hackney inseparable crony of Nethersule’s, whom, she opiner, Page on the following morning was returned non est must now marry from lack of knowing what to do harentur, without giving us notice of set off; the with himself. Alas! she was a day too late: he had Capton coach was therefore engaged to hold our that very morning married the vacant bar-maid at koties in safe custody. and then safely deposit at Nando's. De Flower pot in Bishopsgate-street. Hardly had When toe houey-moon of Mr. Serjeant Nether

sued ovt our first cup of Souchong, when the sole was on the wane, Rapton coach stopped at the door. Here was a Separeer! Jack was for striking out the breakfast,

My sprite,

Popp'd through the key-hole swiit as light, A joining issue with the two other inside passen

7; finish the muffins : take an l of his chambers, in order to ta'

vey of his

ON JOHN DENNIS.

library. All was once more as it should be. Ovid he made into rolls, as large as his mooth-would ad. had quitted Mr. Espinasse, Tibullus and Mr. Justice mit, and devoured them in a princely and digniked Blackstone were two, Propertius and Lord Bacon did manner. Having completed his cannibal repast, be not speak, and, as for Giles Jacob, Waller desired flourished his tomahawk, exclaiming. " ha baho none of his company. The amatory poets were re

ho!” and made his exit. Next day, the manages, fitted to their upper shelf, the honey-moon was ores,

in the middle of the market-place, espied the most and love no longer nestled in the Law Books. puissa:t prince of Annamaboo selling peo-kaives,

scissars, and quills, in the character of a Jew pediar,

“ What!” said Kemble, “my prince, is that you? Should D-s print, hox once you robb d your are not you a pretty Jewish scoundrel to mpose brother,

upon us in this manner !" Moses turned round, and Traduc'd your inonarch, and debauch'd your mo with an arch look replied, " Prince be dead. I ther;

vash no prince, I vash acting like you-yua vasa Say, what revenge on D-s can be bad;

kings, princes, emperor to-night, Stephen Kembles toToo dall for laughter, for reply too mad?

morrow; I vash humpugs, you vash bampays, and Of one so poor you cannot take the law;

all vasl humpugs." On one so old your sword you cannot draw. Uncag'd then let the harmless monster rage,

BERHOX ON MÁN. Secure in dullness, madness, want, and age

Man is born unto trouble as the sporks fly upwards ALL NUMBUOS.

Job, chap. V. verse 7

I sball divide the discourse into, and consider it When Stephen Kemble was manager at News castle, and the house was rather thin, no less a per into the world; secondly bis progress througd the

under, the three folloving heads : first man's images sonage arrived in the town than prince Annamaboo, who offered his services for a very moderate consi- world; third and lastly, his egress out of the vil deration. Accordingly, the bills of the day an.

-And first, man's ingress into the world is Batea nounced, " that between the acts of the play, prince bare: secondly, his progress through the world to Anuamaboo would give a lively representation of the trouble and care; thirdly and lastly, his egress cat ef scalping operation; he would likewise give the In the world is nobody knows where to cleser

If we do well here, we shall be well there, dian war-whoop in all its various tones, the tomahawk exercise, and the mode of feasting at an Abys- | I can tell you no more, if I preach for a year, sinian banguet.” The evening arrived, and many

NOSE AND EYES, people attended to witness these princely imitations. OR THE REPORT OF AN ADJUDGED CASI, XOT At the end of the third act his highness walked for. TO BE FOUND IN ANY OF THE BOOKS. ward, with dignified step, Aourishing his tomahawk, Between Nose and Eyes a strange contest arose and cut the air, exclaiming, “ha ha-ho ho!" nest entered a man with his face blackened, and a piece The point in dispute was as all the world knows,

The Spectacles set thema nnhappily wrong: of bladder fastened to his head with gum; the prince

To wbich the said spectacles ought to belong. with a large carving knife, commenced the scalping operation, wbich he performed in a style truly im- So Tongue was the lawyer, and argued the caree perial, holding up the skin in token of triumph With a great deal of skill, and a wig fuli Next came the war-whoop, which was a combination learning, of dreadful and discordant sounds: lastly, the Abys. While chief baron Ear, sat to balance the love, ginian banquet, consisting of raw beef-stonks; these So fam'd for his talent in nicely discerriog.

I was

In behalf of the Nose it will quickly appear, I only wrought ten hours in the day, and had my

And your lordship, he said, will undoubtedly find, meat and drink provided for my labour. It is true, That the Nose has had spectacles always in wear, I was not suffered to stir out of the house, for fear, Which amounts to possession time out of mind. as they said, I should run away ; but what of that?

I had the liberty of the whole house, and the yard Then holding the Spectacles up to the court

before the door, and that was enough for me. Your lordship observes they are made with a straddle,

then bound out to Å farmer, where I was up both As wide as the ridge of the Nose is; in short,

early and late ; but I ate and drank well, and liked Design'd to sit close to it, just like a saddle,

my business well enough, till he died, when I was Again, would your lordship a moment suppose,

obliged to provide for myself ; so I was resolved to (*Tis a case that has happen'd, and may be again ;)

and seek my fortune. go

In this manner I went from town to town, worked That the visașe or countenance bad not a Nuse,

when I could get employment, and starved when I Pray who would or who could wear Spectacles tben? could get none : when happening one day to go On the whole it appears—and my argument shows, through a field belonging to a justice of peace, I spied

With a seasoning the court will never condemn, a hare crossing the path just before me ; and I beThat the Spectacles plainly were made for the Nose, lieve the devil put it in my head to fing my sticka

And the Nose was as plainly intended for them. at it:Well, what will you have on't! I killed Then, shifting his side, (as a lawyer knows how,)

the bare, and was bringing it away in triumph, when He pleaded again in behalf of the Eyes ;

the justice himself met me; he called me a poacher Bet what were his arguments few people know,

and a villain, and collaring me, desired I would give For the court did not think they were equally wise. begged his worship's pardon, and began to give a

an account of myself. I fell upon iny knees, Se his lordship decreed, with a grave solemn tobe, full account of all that I knew of my breed, seed, Decisive and clear, without one if or but,

and generation ; but, though I gave a very good That, whenever the Nose put bis Spectacles on,

account, the justice would not believe a syllable i By day-light or caudle-light-Eyes should be shut! | bad to say ; so I was indicted at sessions, found

COWPER. guilty of being poor, and sent up to London to New.

gate, in order to be transported as a vagabond. I was born in Shropshire, my father was a la People may say this and that of being in jail; borrer, and died when I was five years old; so I but, for my part, Í found Newgate as agreeable à a pot apun the parish. As he liad been a wan place as ever I was in all my life. I had my belly dering soni ol a man, the parishioners were not able to full to cat and drink, and did not work at all. This till to list parish I belonged, or where I was born, kind of life was too good to last for ever; so I was

they went me to another parish, and that parish taken out of prison, after five months, pat on board wat me to a third. I thought in my heart, they a ship, and sent off, with two hundred more, to the Lept senuding me about so long, that they would not plantations. We had but an indifferent passage, ki me be born in any parish at all ; but, åt last, how- for, being all confined in the hold, more than a $ver, they lived me. I had some disposition to be hundred our people died for want of sweet air; • schutar, and was resolved, at least, to know my and those that remained were sickly enough, God kteri, bat the master of the workbouse put me to knows. When we came ashore we were sold to the Siues as soon as I was able to handle a mallet; planters, and I was bound for seven years more. 131 here I lived an easy kind of life for ive years. 'As I was no scholar, for I did not View my letters,

THE OLD SOLDIER

Jost all.

I was obliged to work, among the negroes; and I but that our ship was taken by the French, and so I. served out my time, as in doty bound to do.

When my time was expired, I worked my pas Our crew was carried into Brest, and many of sage bome, and ylad I was to see Old England again, them died, because they were not used to live in a becaase I loved ny country. I was afraid, how- jail; but, for my part, it was nothing to me, fer I ever, that I should be indicied for a vagabond once was seasoned. One night, as I was sleeping on the more, so did not much care to go down into the bed of boards, with a wanu blanket about me, for I country, but kept about town, and did little jobs always loved to lie well, I was awakened by the when I could get them.

boatswain, who had a dark lanthoru in his hand; I was very happy in this manner for some time, | Jack,' says he to me, will you knock out the till one evening, coming home from work, two men French sentry's brains ? I don't care,' says I, knocked me down, and then desired me to stand. striving to keep myself awake, if I lend a land. They belonged to a press-yang; I was carried be • Then follow me,' says he,' and I bope we sballoa fore the justice, and, as I could give no account of business.' So up I got aud ijed my blanacl, nick myself, I had my choice left, whether to go on board was all the cloihes 1 hari, about my middle, and a man of war, or list for a soldier. I chose the latter; went with him to fight the Frenclumen. I hate the and in this post of a gentlenian, I served two cam. French, because they are slaves, and wear woch: paigns in Flanders, was at the baules of Val and shoes. Fontenoy, and received but one wound, through the Though we had no arms, one Englishman is able breast here; but the doctor of our regiment soon to beat five French at any time; so we went down made me well again.

to the door, where both the scotries were pested, When the peace came on I was discharged; and, and rushing upoli them, seized their arms in a na as I could not work, because my wound was some ment, and knocked them down. From thever, Deim times troublesome, I listed for a landsman in the East of us ran together to the quay, and, seizing the firs India company's serrice. I bere fought the French boat we mei, got out of thic barbour and put to . in six pitched battles; and I verily believe, that, if we had not been here three days before me mire I could read or write, our captain would have made taken up by the Dorset privaleer, who were glat of me a corporal. But it was not my good fortune to so many good hands; and we consented to run ou bave any promotion, for I soon feil sick, and so got chance. However, we had not so much lock as leave to return home again with forty pounds in my expected. In three days we fell in with the Pup pocket. This was at the beginning of the present dour privateer, of forir guns, while we tand tot war, and I hoped to be set on shore, and to have twenty-three; so to it we went, yard-arm and you the pleasure of spending my money; but the govern

The fight lasted for three hours, and I wenil ment wanted men, and so I was pressed for a sailor believe we should have tahen the Frenchman, kad before ever I could se fuot on shore.

we but had some niore men left behind ; but, tc. The boatswain found me, as he said, an obstinate fortunately, we lost all our suen just as were going fellow; he swore be knew that I understood my get the victory. business well, but that I shammed Abraliam, merely I was once more in the power of the French, ari to be idle ; but God kno48, I knew nothing of sea- I believe it would have gone hard with me, tad 1 business, and he beat me, withont considering what been brought back to Brest; but by good fortune. he was about. I had still, however, my forty pounds, we were retaken by the Viper. I had almos: tert: and that was some comfort to me under every beat- to tell you, that, in that engagement, I was wounded ing; and the money I might have had to this day in two places ; 1 lost four fingers of the left baze,

arm.

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and my leg was shot off. If I had had the good

QUID PRO QUO. bggildo ir fortone to have lost my leg and use of my band on The Rev. Mr. Foote, brother to the actor of that board a king's ship, and not aboard a privateer, name, being once in a coffee-house, swearing I should have been entitled to clothing and main- and drinking pretty freely, a Quaker near hinr' said, tenance during the rest of my life; but that was not Friend, thou art a scandal to thy cloth."! " No, my chance; one man is born with a silver spoon in Friend,” replied Foote, " my cloth is a scandal to his mouth, and another with a wooden ladle. How me”-raising his arm, and shewing a great hole of ever, blessed be God, I enjoy good health, and will two in his coat. for ever love liberty and Old England. Liberty,

a blazos property, and Old England, for ever, huzza!

TINKER AND GLAZIER
GOLDSMITH,

Two thirsty souls met on a sultry day, the
SINGULAR DISTINCTION

One Glazier Dick, the other Tom the Tinker tudo

Buth with light purses, but with spirits gay, and, A Scotch minister, preaching on the sin of taking And hard it were to name the sturdiest drinker. 270) God's name in vain; made this singular distinction : O Sirs, this is a rery great sin; for my own part I

Their ale they quaff"d; would sooner steal all the horned cattle in the pa

And as they swigg’d the nappy patatawid

Tho' both agreed, 'tis said, rish, than once take God's name in vain."

That trade was woud'rous dead,
ANTICIPATIONS IN LOW LIFE.

They jok’d, sung, laughid,
In the early part of the geign of George II., the And were completely happy.
footmian of a lady of quality, under the infatuation of the landlord's eye, bright as his sparkling ale,
a dream, disposed of the savings of the last twenty
years of his life in two lottery tickets, which proving For every jest, and song, and merry tale

Glisten'd to see then the brown pitcher huy,
Banks, after a few days lie put an end to his life.
La his box was found the following plan of the man.

Had this blythe ending.
Mer in which he would spend the 50001. prize, which

Bring us t'other mug." bis sistress reserved as a curiosity "As soon as I Now Dick the Glazier feels his busom burn Dot be have received the money, I will marry Grace Towers; To do his friend Tom Tinker, a good turn; 95:15 ret as she has been cross and coy, i will vise her as And where the heart to friendship feels inclin'd,

servant. Every morning she shall get me a mug of Occasion seldom loiters long behind materia
ir beer, with a toast, nutmeg, and sugar in it; The kettle singing gaily on the fire,
and I will slecp till ten, after which I will have a

Gives Dick a hint just to his heart's desire ;
arge sack posset. My dinner shall be on table by And while to draw more ale the landlord goes,
me, and never without a good ptdding. I will have Dick, in the ashes all the water throws,
tock of sive and buandy laid in. About five in the Then puts the kettle on the fire again,

1,133 R1000R I will have tarts and jellies, and a gallon

And at the Tinker winks, pool of Punek, at ten a hot supper of two dishes. If

As “trade's success!" le drinks, en in a goud humour, and Grace behaves herself,

Route

Nor doubts the wish'd success Tom will obtain. le sul sit down with me. - To bed about twelve."

Webing or Our landlord ne'er could such a toast withstand they NECESSITY.

So, giving cach kind customer a hand, 3ods Bawan dull barrister once got the nickname of Neces His friendship too display'd, wa --because Necessity has no law.

via

And drank. Success to trade !" ad Bone

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