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The Turk in linen wraps his head,
ciless and unmanly decree of the senate, the role The Persian his in lawn too,
sex was rusticated ! The Russ with sables furs his cap,
" It is enacted, that no woman, of whatever age et And change will not be drawn to :
condition, be permitted in any college to make any The Spaniard's constant to his block,
one's bed, or io go to the hall, kitchen, or batters, The French inconstant ever,
to carry the provision to any one's chamber, unlesá But of all felts that can be felt,
she be sent for as a nurse; which nurse must be in Give me the English beaver.
mature age, good fame, and either wife or widow; The German loves his coney-wool,
but upon no account young maids be permitted
attend the studentz' chambers." This statute Fu The Irishman his shag too,
made in 1625. O tempora ! O MULIERES ! Tacrz The Welsh his Monmouth loves to wear,
is no scruple in the present Saturnian age, respecurg And of the same will brag too.
the admission of " young maids" into " the students' Some love the rough, and some the smooth.
chambers." Some great, and others small things. But the free-hearted Englishman,
GAZETTED AND IN THE CAZETTE. He loves to deal in all things.
These terms imply very different things. The The Russ drinks qnass ; Dutch, Lubeck beer, of a nobleman is gazelted, as a cornet in a regimes, And that is strong and mighty,
and all his friends rejoice, John Thomson is in the The Briton he metheglin quaffs,
Gazette, and all his friends lament.
BENEFITS OF MARRIAGE.
Jacobus de Voragine, in twelve arguments, po The English none of these lets slip,
thetic, succinct, and elegant, has described the benes But with them all makes merry.
fits of marriage, as follows: The Italian in her high chopine,
1. Hast thou means? Thou hast one to keep Scotch lass and lovely frow too,
increase it. The Spanish Donna, French Madame,
2. Hast none? Thou hast one to help to get some He will not fear to go to,
3. Art thou in prosperity? She doubles it. Nothing so full of hazard dread,
4. Art in adversity ? She'll comfort, assis, be Nought lives above the centre,
part. No fashion, health, no wine, nor wench,
5. Art thou at home? She'll drive away we On which he will not venture.
6. Art thou abroad? She prays for thee, CAMBRIDGE BEDMAKERS.
thee at home, welcomes thee with joy. This office is not confined to sex. In justice to 7. Nothing is delightsome alone. No society the women, they have not only been reckoned adepts equal to marriage. at making a bed, secundum artem, as the phrase is 8. The bond of conjugal love is adamantige. but, when they have had a mind to it, have shown 9. Kindred is increased, parents donbled, Leoton themselves very alert in helping to un-make the bed sisters, families, nephews. they have made, secundum naturam ! Indeed, these 10. Thou art a father by a legal and happy their natural parts and endowments were at one time 11. Barren matrimony is cursed by disces il so notorious, or generally known, that, by a most mer- | much more a single life!
12. If nature escape not punishment, thy will Steward.-At
mother's funeral. shall not avoid it, as he sung it, that, without mar Mr. G.–My mother dead. mye,
Steward.—Ah! poor lady! she never looked up " Earth, air, sea, land, eftsoon will come to pouglit,
after it. The world itself would be to ruin bought."
Mr. G.-After what? LINKS WRITTEN ON TUE WINDOW OF AN IRISH INN.
Steward.--The loss of your father.
Mr. G.-My father gone, too! When I have cash, I mount a gig,
Steward-Yes, pour gentleman! he took to his When I have done I hop the twig.
bed as soon as he heard of it. When I have cash its hurly-burly,
Mr. G. -Heard of what! When I have none, I'm dull and surly.
Steward.—The bad news, sir, an' please your When I have cash, why then I roof it,
honour. When I have node, I'm glad to hoof it.
Mr. G.-What! more miseries !--more bad news?
Steward.---Yes, sir, your bank has failed, your HOW TO BREAK ILL-NEWS,
credit is lost, and you are not worth a shilling in the Mr. G.-Ha! Jervas, how are you, my old boy? world ; I made bold, sir, to come to wait on you to how do things go on at home ?
tell you about it, for I thought you would like to hear Stowarıl.-Bad enough, your honour. pors dead.
Mr. G.--Poor mag ! so he is gone, How came islo die?
In Cambridge, this title is not confined to the digStrand.-Over-ale himself, sir.
nitaries of the church ; but port wine, made copiously dir. G.–Did he, faith! a greedy dog! Why, what potable by being mulled and burnt, with the addenda did te get that he liked so well ?
of roasted lemons all bristling like angry hedge-hogs Slevard. - Horse-Besh, sir; he died of eating horse- (studded with cloves,) is dignified with the appella
tion of Bishop. 11. 6.How came he to get so much horse-flesh? | Beneath some old oak, come and rest thee, my Steward. All your father's horses, sir.
hearty, 11. 6.-- What are they dead too ?
Our foreheads with roses, oh ! let us entwine! Steward.-- Aye, sır, they died of over-work. And, inviting young Bacchus to be of the party, Mr. G.--And why were they over-worked, pray? We'll drown all our troubles in oceans of wine ! Bleward.--To carry water, sir,
And, perfumed with Macassar or Otto of roses, Vr. G.–To carry' water! and what were they
We'll pass round the Bisnor, the spice-breathing anging water for ?
cup, Stward. - Sure sir, to put out the fire.
And take of that medicine such wit-breeding doses, Mr. G.-Fire! what fire?
We'll knock down the god, or he shall knock us Stcoard.-Oh, sir! your father's house is burnt
up. kwn to the ground.
Mr. G.-- Aly father's house burnt down! and how UUNTINGTON'S LEATHET. BREFCHES. true it set on hie?
The remarkable circumstance which occurred consterardha-I think, sir, it must have been the cerning a certain part of Huntington's dress, has torches
made the S. S. known beyond the little sphere of his J. G.- Torches ! what torches ?
" A light heart and a thin pair of breeches,
which he gave to cover their nakedness, and whis Go through the world, my brave boys ;"
they prepared for Baal; for which iniquity were the but the latter qualification is better for going through skirts discovered, and their heels made bare, jer the world on foot than on horseback; so uncle Toby xiii. 22. found it, and so did Huntington, who must be his own
“ I often made very free in my prayers with = historian : no language but his own can do justice to invaluable Master for this favour ; but he still kes such a story; and it is in itself so pitby, that to use theme so amazingly poor that I could not get them words of Fuller the Worthy, all compendium would any rate. At last I was deterinined to go to a fria be dispendium thereof.
of mine at Kingston, who is of that branch of bere Having now had my horse for some time, and ness, to bespeak a pair; and to get him lo true riding a great deal every week, i sooa wore my until my Master sent me money to pay hin. breeches out, as they were not fit to ride in. I hope was that day going to London, fully determined to the reader will excuse my mentioning the word bespeak them, as I rode through the town. Hovese breeches, which I should have avoided, had not this when I passed the shop I forgot it; but when I am passage of scripture obtruded into my mind, just as I to London I called on Mr. Croucher, a choerualhad resolved in my own thoughts not to mention this in Shepherd's Market, who told me a parcel was la kind providence of God. And thou shalt make there for me, but what it was he knew not. I opeter them linen breeches to cover their nakedness; from it, and behold there was a pair of leather breeches, the loins even unto the thighs shall they reach. And a note in them! the substance of which was, to they shall be upon Aaron and upon his sons when the best of my remembrance, as follows : they come into the tabernacle of the congregation, or
Sir, I have sent you a pair of breeches, when they come near unto the altar to minister in hope they will fit. I beg your acceptance of the the holy place; that they bear not iniquity and die. and, if they want any alteration, leave in a sotes It shall be a statute for ever unto him and his seed the alteration is, and I will call in a few days after him,” Exod. xxviii. 42, 43. By which, and alter them. three others, namely, Ezek. xliv. 18; Lev. vi. 10; “ I tried them on, and they fitted as well as u and Lev. xvi. 4; I saw that it was no crime to men- had been measured for them; at which I was amas tiop the word breeches, nor the way in which God having never been measured by any leather breert sent them to me; Aaron and his sons being clothed maker in London. I wrote an answer to the site entirely by Providence ; and as God himself con- this effect : descended to give orders what they should be made " Sir,- I received your present, and thank you of, and how they should be cut. And I believe the it. I was going to order a pair of leather breek same God ordered mine, as I trust it will appear in to be made, because I did not know till now thak the following history:
Master had bespoke them of you. They ft recy “ The scripture tells us to call no man master, for which fully convinces me that the same God one is our master, even Christ. I therefore told my moved thy heart to give, guided thy hand to Trost bountiful and ever-adored Master what I because he perfectly knows my site, having doe wanted ; and he, who stripped Adam and Eve of me in a miraculous manner for near five years. B their tig-lesyed aprons and made coats of skins and you are in trouble, sir, I hope you will tell my ME clothed them ; and who clothes the grass of the field, of this, and what you have done for me, and la which to-day is and to-morrow is cast into the oven ; repay you with honour." must clothe us, or we shall soon go naked; so Israel * This is as near as I am able to relate il, found it, when God took away his wool and his fax, I added,
"I cannot makcout I. S. unless I put I. for Israelite | for tutors or proctors, for masters or vice-chancelindeed, and S. for Sincerity ; because you did not lors, since his whole aim is pleasure and amusement, sound a trampet before you, as the hypocrites do.” since a day's hard reading would drive him half mad BOW TO ONTAIN TUE DEGREE OF BACHELOR OF ARTS word of the meaning of which he professes to be
or give him the blue devils; since subordination is a IN CAMBILIDGE UNIVERSITY.
ignorant; and since rows and sprees are the delight The aspiring student who may be ignorant of the of his soul. He is never seen in academicals till ball Burse of study, he is to pursue at the University, time, or towards evening, and then only puts them will find ample information in the pages of the Cam-on for “ dacency's sake," or because it is a custom bridge Calendar ; but as he cannot be expected to throughout the "varsity.” But in the day, he is seen devote every bour of his undergraduateship to read- in a Jarvey tile, or a low-crowned-broad-brim, a pair ung, he must find out amusements for his leisure mo- of white swell tops, varmint inexpressibles, a regular sneats, and a few agreeable friends to be the com- flash waistcoat, and his coat of a nameless cut; his panions of his mirth, and his exercises, as well as his cloth" of the most uncommon pattern, tied after his studies. To obtain companions, he must be inducted, owu way, and a short crookt-stick or bit o' plant in his and to pass his leisure time in conviviality and mirth, hand; and thus he goes out riding: or he may dress he must give or be invited to entertainments. At differently, and lounge through the streets, always in these entertainments he will meet with other promis company with a friend or two, visiting saddlers, miliar young men of various descriptions, and he will liners, barbers, bootmakers, and tailors; or looking in naturally be inducted to, and inake acquaintances at a friend's rooins, and to arrange matters for the amongst, a portion of these young men. Now it is day: or, if fine, he may make up a water-party, if in undeniable ihnt a young man for his improvement, the summer term, and go down the Camus in a sixmental as well as coporeal
, must see society ; and oar, dine at Clay-hive, or Ditton, or take a snack at he will naturally copy the manners of bis college Chesterton, and return in the evening ; or he may arquaintances, in order that he might not seem a walk out to Chesterton to play at billiards, and dittereat being amongst them. He will enter into return plus or minus the sum he started with ; or be tris pursuits, do the same as they do, and, in short, may drive out in a buggy; or do fifty other things, proceed to the degree of B. A. in the regnlar varmint and enter into fifty other schemes, all productive of manner.
amusement. In the evening he dines at his own rooms, Now the varmint way to proceed to B. A. degree or at those of a friend, and afterwards blows a cloud, sthis-Cut lectures, go to chapel as little as possi- puffs at a segar, and drinks copiously. He then Whe, dine in hall seldom more than once a week, give sings a song, tells a story, comments on the events Gisdics and Spreads, keep a horse or two, go to of the day, talks of horses, gives his opinion on the Newmarket, attend the six-mile bottom, drive a ensuing race between Highflyer and" Emilius, or trag, weas varmint clothes and well-built coats, be makes bets on the late fight between Spring and up to smoke a rum one at Barnwell,* a regular go at Langan. After this the whole party sit down to ex Zealand, a staunch admirer of the bottle, and unlimited loo, and half-guinea, or guinea points, and care a dama for no man. " At lucre or renown let here again he comes off plus or minus 401. or 501. cakers aim," for a varmint-man spurns a scholarship, If he has lost, he is no way concerned at it, for he rold consider it a degradation to be a fellow, and is sure of winning as much the succeeding night; he us for taking an honour, it would be about the very therefore takes his glass or sits down to supper, and kas ides that could enter bis head. What cares he gets to bed about two or three in the morning. De
• Celebrited as the residences of the Cyprian tribes. termined to sleep a few, after having cast off his
habiliments, he hops into bed, and snores-somno rustication or expulsion. Thus dismissed the angust vinoque gravatus, till about six in the evening, and presence, he recounts this jobation to his friends, and then gets up more sleepy than ever. He dresses ; but enters into a discourse on masters, deans, tutors, and having no appetite, eats nothing, drinks a glass of proctors, and votes chapel a bore, and gatos ades soda-water, and walks to a friend's rooms, where he plete nuisance. But is this all ? no. He has resolved relates his adventures and excites the risibility of his to treat the duns with contempt, and go on more gamy auditors. He then resolves on a ride, and without than ever. Accordingly he cuts chapel, and more togging for the occasion, just puts on his tile and forth at night sine cap and gown, with a segar ia ta mounts his prad. Determining to be very steady and mouth. He is determined io have a lark with two sober for the future, i. e. for the next twelve hours, three more, and a way they go. While they are part he urges his steed along the Trumpington Road, goes ing the girls about in the street, up comes the pare out by the Shelford Common, and returns home be- tor : " Pray, sir, may I ask if you are a membe: tween eight and nine. He then feels as if he could the University ?"-"Yes, sir, I am."_“Your eat something, and accordingly he does, by way of and college, sir, if you please." It is given sulle supper, and retires to his rooms, with an intention of the least hesitation. The next morning a bealty being quiet, and in order to go early to bed. But lo! calls on Mr. Varmint to deliver a message frena da he is told by his gyp that the master or dean has proctor, viz :- That he is fined 6s. Ad. for being so the sent a message desiring to see him the next morning streets without his cap and gown, and that he waal Well knowing what this is for, he goeth to bed and be glad to see him at twelve o'clock that day. * cons over in his own mind what to say in extenuation he has to call on the proctor, and in he goes 12! of his irregularities, and he so falleth to sleep. Next very surly countenance. The proctor puts on th** day, he calls at the appointed time, when the M. C. his most severe phizzes, and informs him to with a countenance not to be surpassed in gravity, conduct in the streets last night was most unna informs him for the last week he has been very irre- man-like and improper, against every rule of gular, and requires an account of the circumstances and propriety, and in open opposition io the Acx . which occasioned the said irregularity. For the discipline, and contempt of him and his office. In gate-biu thus standeth : Monday night, out till three such conduct deserved much sererer chesir o'clock; Tuesday half past four ; Wednesday half than he was willing to inflict, but that he stes past two ; Thursday half past three ; Friday half past neglecting the duty he oned to his office spa tour ; Saturday-all night. His excuses are that he University if lie overlooked it. lle therefore 1: has been at different parties, where he was detained him to get three hundred versts of Honcer's !. late, and where he has found the society so agreeable, Book second, by heart, and requests he vidit! and the time fly so imperceptibly fast, that morning means leave the University until it is said. I has broke in upon him ere he imagined it was an hour a great deal of opposition, excuses, and prater past midnight. This draws down a very heavy in- he finds himself not a lit better off, for the vective against parties altogether, and a still longer will not mitigate a syllable, and he is only and more tedious lecture on the dangerous tendency stomach the tinpos, and retire. For tbe me of such conduct, so directly opposite to the laws and two afterwards he makes luinuself very va discipline of the University, and a conclusive para- this, but he at length resolves not to learn it, graph containing (amongst other things) a pardon for ever should be the consequence. He beca: past offences, but with an assurance that a repetition out to a party, makes himself very merry, 12 of similar conduct cannot but meet with a concomi- not a fig about the matter. Next marzir kt tant cheque in proportion to its enormity, in either pens, unlucky wight' to meet with the sa,