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Come, sister:-Dromio, play the porter well.
Dro. S. Master, shall I be porter at the gate? Adr. Ay; and let none enter, lest I break your pate.
Luc. Come, come, Antipholus, we dine too late. [Exeunt.
ACT III. SCENE I
Enter Antipholus of Ephesus, Dromio of Ephesus, Angelo, and Balthazar.
Ant. E. Good signior Angelo, you must excuse us all;
My wife is shrewish, when I keep not hours:
And that to-morrow you will bring it home.
beat me at the mart, show:
mart, I have your
If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave were ink,
Your own handwriting would tell you what I think. Ant. E. I think, thou art an ass.
Dro. E. Marry, so it doth appear By the wrongs I suffer, and the blows I bear. I should kick, being kick'd; and, being at that pass, You would keep from my heels, and beware of an
Ant. E. You are sad, signior Balthazar: 'Pray god, our cheer
May answer my good will, and your good welcome here.
Bal. I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your welcome dear.
Ant. E. O, signior Balthazar, either at flesh or fish, A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty dish.
Bal. Good meat, sir, is common; that every churl affords.
Ant. E. And welcome more common; for that's nothing but words.
Bal. Small cheer, and great welcome, makes a merry feast.
Ant. E. Ay, to a niggardly host, and more sparing guest:
But though my cates be mean, take them in good part;
Better cheer may you have, but not with better heart.
But, soft; my door is lock'd; Go bid them let us in. Dro. E. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian, Jen'!
Dro. S. [within.] Mome, malt-horse, capon, coxcomb, idiot, patch!
Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the hatch:
Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st for such store,
When one is one too many? Go, get thee from the door.
Dro. E. What patch is made our porter? My master stays in the street.
Dro. S. Let him walk from whence he came, lest he catch cold on's feet.
Ant. E. Who talks within there? ho, open the door. Dro. S. Right, sir, I'll tell you when, an you'll tell me wherefore.
Ant. E. Wherefore? for my dinner; I have not din'd to-day.
Dro. S. Nor to-day here you must not; come again, when you may.
Ant. E. What art thou, that keep'st me out from the house I owe?
Dro. S. The porter for this time, sir, and my name is Dromio.
Dro. E. O villain, thou hast stolen both mine office and my name;
The one ne'er got me credit, the other mickle blame. If thou had'st been Dromio to-day in my place, Thou would'st have chang'd thy face for a name, or thy name for an ass.
Luc. [within.] What a coil is there? Dromio, who are those at the gate?
Dro. E. Let my master in, Luce.
Faith no; he comes too late;
And so tell
Dro. S. If thy name be called Luce, Luce, thou hast answer'd him well.
Ant. E. Do you hear, you minion? you'll let us in, I hope?
Luc. I thought to have ask'd you.
And you said, no. Dro. E. So, come, help; well struck; there was blow for blow.
Ant. E. Thou baggage, let me in.
Luc. What needs all that, and a pair of stocks in the town?
Can you tell for whose sake?
Adr. [within.] Who is that at the door, that keeps all this noise?
Dro. S. By my troth, your town is troubled with unruly boys.
Ant. E. Are you there, wife? you might have come before.
Adr. Your wife, sir knave! go, get you from the door.
Dro. E. If you went in pain, master, this knave would go sore.
Ang. Here is neither cheer, sir, nor welcome; we would fain have either.
Bal. In debating which was best, we shall part with neither.
Dro. E. They stand at the door, master; bid them welcome hither.