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Slen. Where's Simple, my man?-can you tell,

cousin?

:

Eva. Peace: I pray you! Now let us understand: There is three umpires in this matter, as I understand that is-master Page, fidelicet, master Page; and there is myself, fidelicet, myself; and the three party is, lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter.

Page. We three, to hear it, and end it between them.

Eva. Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note-book; and we will afterwards 'ork upon the cause with as great discreetly as we can.

Fal. Pistol,

Pist. He hears with ears.

Eva. The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, He hears with ear? Why, it is affectations.

Fal. Pistol, did you pick master Slender's purse? Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he (or I would I might never come in mine own great chamber again else), of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovel-boards 15, that cost me two shilling and twopence a-piece of Yead Miller, by these gloves.

Fal. Is this true, Pistol?

Eva. No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse.

Pist. Ha, thou mountain-foreigner!-Sir John,
and master mine,

I combat challenge of this latten bilbo 16:
Word of denial in thy labras 17 here;

Word of denial; froth and scum, thou liest.

15 Mill sixpences were used as counters; and King Edward's shillings used in the game of shuffle-board.

16 Latten, from the Fr. Laiton, Brass. Bilbo, from Bilboa in Spain where fine sword blades were made. Pistol therefore calls Slender a weak blade of base metal, as one of brass would be.

17 Lips.

Slen. By these gloves, then 'twas he.

Nym. Be avised, sir, and pass good humours: I will say, marry, trap, with you, if you run the nuthook's 18 humour on me; that is the very note of it.

Slen. By this hat, then he in the red face had it : for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass.

Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John?

Bard. Why, sir, for my part, I say, the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five sentences. Eva. It is his five senses: fie, what the ignorance is !

Bard. And being fap 19, sir, was, as they say, cashier'd; and so conclusions pass'd the careires 20.

Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no matter: I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick: If I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves.

Eva. So Got 'udge me, that is a virtuous mind. Fal. You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it.

Enter MISTRESS ANNE PAGE, with wine; MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE following.

Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within. [Exit ANNE Page. Slen. O heaven! this is mistress Anne Page.

18 Metaphorically a bailiff or constable, who hooks or seizes debtors or malefactors with a staff or otherwise. The meaning apparently is, if you try to bring me to justice.'

19 Fap was evidently a cant term for Foolish. It may have been derived from the Italian Vappa, which Florio explains "any wine that hath lost his force: used also for a man or woman without wit or reason." In Hutton's Dict. 1583, one of the meanings of the Latin Vappa is a Dissard or foolish man, &c.

20 A military phrase for running the charge in a tournament or attack; here used metaphorically.

Page. How now, mistress Ford?

Fal. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met: by your leave, good mistress.

[kissing her. Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome :Come, we have a hot vension pasty to dinner ; come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.

[Exeunt all but SHAL. SLENDER, and EVANS. Slen. I had rather than forty shillings I had my book of Songs and Sonnets 21 here :

Enter SIMPLE.

How now, Simple! where have you been? I must wait on myself, must I? You have not The Book of Riddles about you, have you?

Sim. Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake upon Allhallowmas last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas 22?

Shal. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with you, coz: marry this, coz: There is, as 'twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh here;--Do you understand me?

Slen. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so, I shall do that that is reason.

Shal. Nay, but understand me.

Slen. So I do, sir.

Eva. Give ear to his motions, master Slender: I will description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it.

Slen. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says:

21 Slender means a popular book of Shakspeare's time, "Songes and Sonnettes, written by the Earle of Surrey and others," and published by Tottel in 1557.

22 This is an intended blunder. Theobald would in sober sadness have corrected it to Martlemas.

I pray you, pardon me; he's a justice of his country, simple though I stand here.

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Eva. But this is not the question; the question is concerning your marriage.

Shal. Ay, there's the point, sir.

Eva. Marry, is it; the very point of it; to mistress Anne Page.

Slen. Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any reasonable demands.

Eva. But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to know that of your mouth, or of your lips; for divers philosophers hold that the lips is parcel 23 of the mouth;-Therefore, precisely, can you carry your good will to the maid?

Shal. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her? Slen. I hope, sir,—I will do as it shall become one that would do reason.

Eva. Nay, Got's lords and his ladies, you must speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires towards her.

Shal. That you must: Will you, upon good dowry, marry her?

Slen. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, cousin, in any reason.

Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz; what I do is to pleasure you, coz: Can you love the maid?

at

Slen. I will marry her, sir, your request; but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are married, and have more occasion to know one another: I hope upon familiarity will grow more contempt: but if you say, marry her, I will marry her, that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely.

23 i. e. part, a law term, often used in conjunction with its

synonyme.

VOL. I.

S

Eva. It is a fery discretion answer; save the faul' is in the 'ort dissolutely: the 'ort is, according to our meaning, resolutely;—his meaning is good. Shal. Ay, I think my cousin meant well.

I

Slen. Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la.

Re-enter ANNE PAGE.

Shal. Here comes fair mistress Anne:- -Would

were young for your sake, mistress Anne!

Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worships' company.

Shal. I will wait on him, fair mistress Anne. Eva. Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace.

[Exeunt SHALLOW and SIR H. EVANS. Anne. Will't please your worship to come in, sir?

Slen. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well.

Anne. The dinner attends you, sir.

Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth: Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go, wait upon my cousin Shallow 24 [Exit SIMPLE]. A justice of peace sometime may be beholden to his friend for a man :—I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead: But what though? yet I live like a poor gentleman born.

Anne. I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit till

you come.

Slen. I'faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did.

Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in.

Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you: I bruised my shin the other day with playing at sword

24 It was formerly the custom in England for persons to be attended at dinner by their own servants wherever they dined.

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