SCENE II. A Room in Olivia's House.

Enter MARIA and Clown. Mar. Nay, I pr'ythee, put on this gown, and this beard; make him believe, thou art sir Topas the curate; do it quickly: I'll call sir Toby the whilet. [Exit MARIA. Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble* myself in't; and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown. I am not fat enough to become the function well; nor lean enough to be thought a good student: but to be said, an honest man, and a good housekeeper, goes as fairly, as to say, a careful man, and a great scholar. The competitors†

enter.

Enter Sir TOBY BELCH and MARIA. Sir To. Jove bless thee, master parson. Clo. Bonos dies, sir Toby: for, as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of king Gorboduc, That, that is, is: so I, being master parson, am master parson; For what is that, but that? and is, but is?

Sir To. To him, sir Topas.

Clo. What, hoa, I say,-Peace in this prison! Sir To. The knave counterfeits well; a good knave.

Mal. [in an inner chamber.] Who calls there?

Clo. Sir Topas, the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the lunatic.

Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, good sir Topas, go to my lady.

Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man? talkest thou nothing but of Jadies?

Sir To. Well said, master parson.

Mal. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird.

Clo. What thinkest thou of his opinion? Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion.

Clo. Fare thee well: Remain thou still in darkness: thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits; and fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well. Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas,-Sir To. My most exquisite sir Topas! Clo. Nay, I am for all waters ||.

Mar. Thou might'st have done this without thy beard and gown; he sees thee not.

I

Sir To. To hin in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou findest him: would we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were; for I am now so far in offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber. [Exeunt Sir ToBY and MARIA. Clo. Hey Robin, jolly Robin,

Tell me how thy lady does. [Singing. Mal. Fool,

Clo. My lady is unkind, perdy.
Mal. Fool,-

Clo. Alas, why is she so?
Mal. Fool, I say;-

Clo. She loves another-Who calls, ha? Mal. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper; as I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for't.

Clo. Master Malvolio!
Mal. Ay, good fool.

Clo. Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five

Mal. Fool, there was never man so notoriously abused: I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art.

Clo. But as well? then you are mad indeed, if you be no better in your wits than a fool.

• Disguise. + Confederates. Any other gem, as a Topaz.

vens restore! endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble.

Mul. Sir Topas,

Clo. Maintain no words with him, good fel low.-Who, I, sir? not I, sir. God b'wi'you, good sir Topas.-Marry, amen.-I will, sir, I will.

Mal. Fool, fool, fool, I say.

Clo. Alas, sir, be patient. What say you, sir? I am shent + for speaking to you.

Mal. Good fool, help me to some light, and some paper; I tell thee, I am as well in my wits as any man in Illyria.

Clo. Well-a-day,-that you were, sir!

Mal. By this hand, I am: Good fool, some tak, paper, and light, and convey what I will tet down to my lady; it shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing of letter did. Clo. I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you not mad indeed? or do you but counterfeit ?

Mal. Believe me, I am not; I tell thee true. Clo. Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman, till I see his brains. I will fetch you light, and paper, and ink.

Mal. Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree: I pr'y thee, be gone.

Clo. I am gone, sir,

And anon, sir,

I'll be with you again,

His counsel now night do me golden service For though my soul disputes well with any

sense,

That this may be some error, but no madness,
Yet doth this accident and flood of fortune
So far exceed all instance, all discourse,
That I am ready to distrust mine eyes, [me
And wrangle with my reason, that persuades
To any other thu 9, but that I am mad,
Or else the lady'. nad; yet, if 'twere so,
She could not sway her house, command her
followers,

Take, and give back, affairs, and their despatch, With such a smooth, discreet, and stable bearing,

As, I perceive, she does: there's something in't, That is deceivable. But here comes the lady. Enter OLIVIA and a Priest.

Oli. Blame not this haste of mine: If you

SCENE I.

The Street before Olivia's House.

Enter Clown and FABIAN.

Fab. Any thing.

Clo. Do not desire to see this letter. Fab. That is, to give a dog, and, in recompense, desire my dog again.

Enter DUKE, VIOLA, and Attendants. Duke, Belong you to the lady Olivia,friends? Clo. Ay,sir; we are some of her trappings. Duke. I know thee well; How dost thou, my good fellow?

Clo. Truly, sir, the better for my foes, and the worse for my friends.

Duke. Just the contrary; the better for thy friends.

Clo. No, sir, the worse.

Duke. How can that be?

Clo. Marry, sir, they praise me, and make an ass of me; now my foes tell me plainly I am an ass so that by my foes, sir, I profit in the knowledge of my self; and by my friends I am abused: so that, conclusions to be as kisses, if your four negatives make your two affirmatives, why, then the worse for my friends, and the better for my foes.

Duke. Why, this is excellent.

Clo. By my troth, sir, no; though it please you to be one of my friends.

Duke. Thou shalt not be the worse for me; there's gold.

Clo. But that it would be double-dealing, sir, I would you could make it another.

Duke. O, you give me ill counsel.

Clo. Put your grace in your pocket, sir, for this once, and let your flesh and blood obey it. Duke. Well, I will be so much a sinner to be a double dealer; there's another.

+ Reason. Belief.

** Until,

Clo. Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play; and the old saying is, the third pays for all: the triplex, sir, is a good tripping measure; or the bells of St. Bennet, sir, may put you in mind; One, two, three.

Duke. You can fool no more money out of me at this throw: if you will let your lady know, I am here to speak with her, and bring her along with you, it may awake my bounty further.

Clo. Marry, sir, lullaby to your bounty, till I come again. I go, sir; but I would not have you to think, that my desire of having is the sin of covetousness: but, as you say, sir, let your bounty take a nap, I will awake it anon. [Exit Clown. Enter ANTONIO and Officers. Vio. Here comes the man, sir, that did res

cue me.

Duke. That face of his I do remember well; Yet, when I saw it last, it was besmear'd As black as Vulcan, in the smoke of war: A bawbling vessel was he captain of, For shallow draught, and bulk, unprizable; With which such scathful grapple did he make With the most noble bottom of our fleet, That very envy, and the tongue or loss, Cry'd fame and honour on him -What's the 1Off. Orsino, this is that Antonio, [matter? That took the Phoenix, and her fraught t, from And this is he, that did the Tiger board, [Candy; When your young nephew Titus lost his leg: Here in the streets, desperate of shame, and In private brabbledid we apprehend him.[state, Vio. He did me kindness, sir; drew on my [me, But, in conclusion, put strange speech upon I know not what 'twas, but distraction.

side;

Duke. Notable pirate! thou salt-water thief! What foolish boldness brought thee to their mercies,

Whom thou, in terms so bloody, and so dear,
Hast made thine enemies?
Ant.
Orsino, noble sir,
Be pleas'd that I shake off these names you
Antonio never yet was thief,or pirate, [give me;
Though, I confess, on base and ground enough,
Orsino's enemy. A witchcraft drew me hither:
That most ingrateful boy there, by your side,
From the rude sea's enrag'd and foamy mouth
Did I redeem; a wreck past hope he was:
His life I gave him, and did thereto add
My love, without retention, or restraint,
All his in dedication for his sake,
Did I expose myself, pure for his love,
Into the danger of this adverse town;
Drew to defend him, when he was beset;
Where being apprehended, his false cunning,
(Not meaning to partake with me in danger,)
Taught him to face me out of his acquaintance,
And grew a twenty-years-removed thing,
While one would wink; denied me mine own
Which I had recommended to his use [purse,
Not half an hour before.
Vio.
How can this be?
Duke. When came he to this town?

Ant. To-day, my lord; and for three months (No interim, not a minute's vacancy), (before, Both day and night did we keep company. Enter OLIVIA and Attendants. Duke. Here comes the countess; now heaven walks on earth. [madness: But for thee, fellow, fellow, thy words are Three months this youth hath tended upon me; But more of that anon.-Take him aside.

Oli. What would my lord,but that he may not Wherein Olivia may seem serviceable?--[have, Cesario, you do not keep promise with me. Vio. Madam?

Duke. Gracious Olivia,- — [my lord,— Oli. What do you say, Cesario?-Good Vio.My lord would speak,my duty hushes me. Oli. If it be aught to the old tune, my lord, It is as fat and fulcome to mine ear, As howling after musick. Duke.

[lady,

Still so cruel? Oli. Still so constant, lord. Duke. What! to perverseness? you uncivil To whose ingrate and unauspicious altars [out, My soul the faithfull'st offerings hath breath'd That e'er devotion tender'd! What shall I do? Oli. Even what it please my lord, that shall

become him.

[do it

Duke. Why should I not, had I the heart to Like to the Egyptian thief, at point of death, Kill what I love; a savage jealousy, [this: That sometime savours nobly?-But hear me Since you to non regardance cast my faith, And that I partly know the instrument [favour, That screws me from my true place in your Live you, the marble-breasted tyrant, still; But this your minion, whom, I know, you love, And whom, by heaven, I swear,I tender dearly, Him will I tear out of that cruel eye, Where he sits crowned in his master's spite.Come, boy, with me; my thoughts are ripe in I'll sacrifice the lamb that I do love, [mischief: To spite a raven's heart within a dove. [Going.

Vio. And I, most jocund, apt, and willingly, To do you rest, a thousand deaths would die. [Following.

Oli. Where goes Cesario? Vio. After him I love, More than I love these eyes, more than my life, More, by all mores, than e'er I shall love wife: If I do feign, you witnesses above, Punish my life, for tainting of my love!

Oli. Ah me, detested! how am I beguil'd! Vio. Who does beguile you? who does do you wrong?

Oli. Hast thou forgot thyself! Is it so long!Call forth the holy father. [Exit an Attendant. Duke. Come away. [TO VIOLA. Oli. Whither, my lord?-Cesario, husband, Duke. Husband? [stay. Oli. Ay, husband; Can he that deny? Duke. Her husband, sirrah? Vio. No, my lord, not I. Oli. Alas, it is the baseness of thy fear, That makes thee strangle thy propriety§: Fear not, Cesario, take thy fortunes up; Be that thou know'st thou art, and then thou art

Re-enter Attendant and Priest.
Father, I charge thee, by thy reverence,
Here to unfold (though lately we intended
To keep in darkness, what occasion now
Reveals before 'tis ripe,) what thou dost know,
Hath newly past between this youth and me.
Priest. A contract of eternal bond of love,
Confirm'd by mutual joinder of your hands,
Attested by the holy close of lips, [rings;
Strengthen'd by interchangement of your
And all the ceremony of this compact
Seal'd in my function, by my testimony:
Since when, my watch hath told me, toward
I have travell'd but two hours. [ny grave,
Duke. O, thou dissembling cub! what wilt
thou be,

When time hath sow'd a grizzle on thy case*?
Or will not else thy craft so quickly grow,
That thine own trip shall be thine overthrow?
Farewell, and take her; but direct thy feet,
Where thou and I henceforth may never meet.
Vio. My lord, I do protest,-
Oli.
O, do not swear;
Hold little faith,though thou hast too much fear.
Enter Sir ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK, with his
head broke.

Sir And. For the love of God, a surgeon;
send one presently to sir Toby.
Oli. What's the matter?

Sir And. He has broke my head across. and has given sir Toby a bloody coxcomb 100 for the love of God, your help: I had rather than forty pound, I were at home.

Oli. Who has done this, sir Andrew? Sir And. The count's gentleman, one Cesario: we took him for a coward, but he's the very devil incardinate.

Duke. My gentleman, Cesario! Sir And. Od's lifelings, here he is :-Yon broke my head for nothing; and that that I did, I was set on to do't by sir Toby. [you: Vio. Why do you speak to me? I never hurt You drew your sword upon me, without cause; But I bespake you fair, and hurt you not.

Sir And. If a bloody coxcomb be a hurt, you have hurt me; I think, you set nothing by a bloody coxcomb.

Enter Sir TOBY BELCH, drunk, led by the Clown.

Here comes sir Toby halting, you shall hear more: but if he had not been in drink, he would have tickled you othergates than he did. Duke. How now, gentleman? how is't with you?

Sir To. That's all one; he has hurt me, and there's the end on't.-Sot, did'st see Dick surgeon, sot?

Clo. O he's drunk, sir Toby, an hour agone; his eyes were set at eight i'the morning. Sir To. Then he's a rogue. After a passymeasure, or a pavin t, I hate a drunken rogue. Oli. Away with him: Who hath made this havock with them?

• Skin. + Otherways.

Sir And. I'll help you, sir Toby, because we'll be dressed together.

Sir To. Will you help an ass-head, and a coxcomb, and a knave? a thin-faced knave, a guil? Oli. Get him to bed, and let his hurt be look'd to.

[Exeunt Clown, Sir TOBY, and Sir ANDREW. Enter SEBASTIAN.

Seb. I am sorry, madam, I have hurt your
kinsman;

But, had it been the brother of my blood,
I must have done no less, with wit, and safety.
You throw a strange regard upon me, and
By that I do perceive it hath offended you;
Pardon me, sweet one, even for the vows
We made each other but so late ago. [persons;
Duke. One face,one voice, one habit, and two
A natural perspective, that is, and is not.
Seb. Antonio, O my dear Antonio!
How bave the hours rack'd and tortur'd me,
Since I have lost thee.

Ant. Sebastian are you?

Seb.

Fear'st thou that, Antonio? Aut. How have you made division of yourAn apple, cleft in two, is not more twin [seif?-Than these two creatures. Which is Sebastian? Oli. Most wonderful! [brother:

Seb. Do I stand there? I never had a Of here and every where. I had a sister, Nor can there be that deity in my nature, Whom the blind waves and surges have devour'd:

Of charity,what kin are you to me?[TOVIOLA. What countryman? what name? what pa

rentage?

Vio. Of Messaline: Sebastian was my father; So went he suited to his watery tomb: Such a Sebastian was my brother too, If spirits en assume both form and suit You come to fright us.

Seb.

But am in that dimension grossly clad,
A spirit I am, indeed;
Which from the womb I did participate.
Were you a woman, as the rest goes even,
I should my tears let fall upon your cheek,
And say-Thrice welcome, drowned Viola!
Vio. My father had a mole upon his brow.
Seb. And so had mine.
Vio. And died that day when Viola from her
Had number'd thirteen years.

[birth

Seb. O, that record is lively in my soul! He finished, indeed, his mortal act, That day that made my sister thirteen years.

Vio. If nothing lets to make us happy both, But this my masculine usurp'd attire, Do not embrace me, till each circumstance Of place, time, fortune, do cohere, and jump, That I am Viola: which to confirm, I'll bring you to a captain in this town, [help Where lie my maiden weeds; by whose gentle I was preserv'd, to serve this noble count: All the occurrence of my fortune since Hath been between this lady, and this lord. Seb. So comes it, lady, you have been mistook : [TO OLIVIA. But nature to her bias drew in that.

You would have been contracted to a maid; Nor are you therein, by my life, deceiv'd, You are betroth'd both to a maid and man.

Duke. Be not amaz'd; right noble is his If this be so,as yet the glass seems true,[blood.I shall have share in this most happy wreck: Boy, thou hast said to me a thousand times, [To VIOLA. Thou never should'st love woman like to me. Vio. And all those sayings will I over-swear; And all those swearings keep as true in soul, As doth that orbed continent the fire That severs day from night.

Duke. Give me thy hand; And let me see thee in thy woman's weeds. Vio. The captain, that did bring me first on shore, [action, Hath my maid's garments: he, upon some Is now in durance; at Malvolio's suit, A gentleman, and follower of my lady's.

One day shall crown the alliance on't, se please you,

Here at my house, and at my proper cost. Duke. Madam, I am most apt to embrace

your offer. [your service done him, Your master quits you; [To VIOLA.] and, for So much against the mettler of your sex, So far beneath your soft and tender breeding, And since you call'd me master for so long, Here is my hand; you shall from this time be Your master's mistress. Oli. A sister?-you are she. Re-enter FABIAN, with MALVOLIO. Duke. Is this the madman? Oli.

How now, Malvolio?

Ay, my lord, this same:

Mal. Madam, you have done me wrong, Notorious wrong.

Clo. Truly, madam, he holds Belzebub at the stave's end, as well as a man in his case may do he has here writ a letter to you, I should have given it you to-day morning; but as a madman's epistles are no gospels, so it skills not much, when they are delivered.

Oli. Open it, and read it.

Clo. Look then to be well edified, when the fool delivers the madman:-By the lord, madam,

Oli. How now! art thou mad?

Clo. No, madam, I do but read madness: an your ladyship will have it as it ought to be, you must allow vor*.

Oli. Pr'ythee, read i'thy right wits. Clo. So I do, madonna; but to read his right wits, is to read thus: therefore perpend +, my princess, and give ear.

Oli. Read it you, sirrah. [TO FABIAN. Fab. [reads.] By the Lord, madam, you wrong me, and the world shall know it: though you have put me into darkness, and given your drunken cousin rule over me, yet have the benefit of my senses as well as your ladyship. I have your own letter that induced me to the semblance I put on; with the which I doubt not but to do myself much right, or you much shame. Think of me as you please. I leave my duty a litt e unthought of, and speak out of my injury. The madly-used Malvolio. Oli. Did he write this? Clo. Ay, madam.

Duke. This savours not much of distraction. Oli. See him deliver'd, Fabian; bring him hither. [Exit FABIAN. My lord, so please you, these things further To think me as well a sister as awife,[thought on,

Or say, 'tis not your seal, nor your invention:
You can say none of this: Well, grant it then,
And tell me, in the modesty of honour, [favour;
Why you have given me such clear lights of
Bade me come smiling, and cross-garter'd to
To put on yellow stockings, and to frown [you,
Upon sir Toby, and the lighter people ;
And, acting this in an obedient hope,
Why have you suffer'd me to be imprison'd,
Kept in a dark house, visited by the priest,
And made the most notorious geck, and gull,
That e'er invention play'd on? tell me why.

Oli. Alas, Malvolio, this is not my writing,
Though, I confess, much like the character:
But, out of question, 'tis Maria's hand.
And now I do bethink me, it was she [smiling,
First told me, thou wast mad; then cam❜st in
And in such forms which here were pre-
suppos'd

Upon thee in the letter. Pr'ythee, be content: This practice hath most shrewdly pass'd upou thee; [of it, But, when we know the grounds and anthors Thou shalt be both the plaintiff and the judge Of thine own cause.

Fab. Good madam, hear me speak; And let no quarrel, nor no brawl to come, Taint the condition of this present hour, [not, Which I have wonder'd at. In hope it shall Most freely 1 confess, myself, and Toby, Set this device against Malvolio here, Upon some stubborn and uncourteous parts We had conceiv'd against him: Maria writ The letter, at sir Toby's great importance¶; In recompense whereof, he hath married her. How with a sportful malice it was follow'd, May rather pluck on laughter than revenge; If that the injuries be justly weigh'd, That have on both sides past.

[thee!

Fool