« ZurückWeiter »
difying conversation indeed, concern- I have long had a notion that black cats ng the vexations of spirit that all are no overly canny, and the conduct lesh is heir to.
of Mrs Keckle's was an evidential “During our discoursing, as I was kithing to the effect, that there is noOt a deacon at the dressing of wigs, I thing of uncharitableness in that novas obligated now and then to con- tion of mine; howsomever, no to enemplate and consider the effect of my large on such points of philosophical ribbling at a distance, and to give Mrs controversy, the wig being put in or(eckle the dredge-box to shake the der, I carried it to the bed-room, and, our on where it was seen to be wante as I was saying, prinned it to the bed ng. But all this was done in great curtains, and then went down stairs incerity of heart between her and me; again to the parlour to make exercise, Ithough, to be sure, it was none of the and to taste Mrs Keckle's mutton ham, aost zealous kind of religion on my by way of a relish to a tumbler of art, to be fribbling with my hands toddy, having declined any sort of End comb at the wig, and saying at methodical supper. he same time with my tongue, ortho- “ Considering the melancholious neox texts out of the Scriptures. Nor, cessity that had occasioned my coming 2 like manner, was it just what could to the Kilmartin Manse, I was bee hoped for, that Mrs Keckle, when holden to enlarge a little after supper spoke to her on the everlasting joys with Mrs Keckle, by which the tumfan eternal walvation, where friends bler of toddy was exhausted before I heet to part no more, saying, “ a bit had made an end of my exhortation, luff with the box there, on the left which the mistress seeing, she said urls," (in the way of a parenthesis,) that if I would make another cheerer hat she wouldna feel a great deal ; but she would partake in a glass with me. or all that, we did our part well, and It's no my habit to go such lengths at he was long after heard to say, that ony time, the more especially on a Sahe had never been more edified in turday night; but she was so presser life, than when she helped me to ing that could not but gratify her, Fress my wig on that occasion. so I made the second tumbler, and
But all is vanity and vexation of weel I wat it was baith nappy and pirit in this world of sin and misery good ; for in the brewing I had an ee Vhen the wig was dressed, and as to pleasing Mrs Keckle, and knowing rhite and beautiful to the eye of man that the leddies like it strong and sweet, s a cauliflower, I took it from off its I wasna sparing either of the spirit tance on the blockhead, which was a bottle or the sugar bowl. But I trow reat short-sightedness of me to do, both the widow and me had to rue and I prinned it to the curtain of the the consequences that befell us in that ed, in the room wherein I was in- night, for when I went up again intil tructed by Mrs Keckle to sleep. Lite the bed-room, I was what ye
would le did either me or that worthy wo- call a thought off the nail, by the nan dream of the mischief that was which my sleep wasna just what it hen brewing and hatching, against should have been, and dreams and he great care and occupation where visions of all sorts came hovering about vith we had in a manner regenerated my pillow, and at times I felt, as it he periwig into its primitive style of were, the bed whirling round. perfectness.
“In this condition, with a bit dover “You must understand, that Mrs now and then, I lay till the hour of seckle had a black cat, that was not midnight, at the which season, I had a past the pranks of kittenhood, though strange dream-wherein I thought my n outwardly show a most douce and wig was kindled by twa candles of a vell comported beast ; and what deadly yellow light, and then I beheld, vould
ye think Baudrons was doing as it were, an imp of darkness danthe time that the mistress and me cing at my bed-side, whereat I turnvere so eydent about the wig ? She ed myself round, and covered my vas sitting
on a chair, watching every head with the clothes, just in an luff that I gave, and meditating with eerie mood, between sleeping and "he device of an evil spirit, how to waking. I had not, however, lain poil all the bravery that I was so in long in that posture, when I felt, as I lustriously endeavouring to restore thought, a hand claming softly over into its proper pedigree and formalities. the bed-clothes like a temptation, and
it was past the compass of my power the room, I was cured of my passion to think what it could be. By and by I of amazement, and huddling intil the heard a dreadful thud on the floor, bed aneath the clothes, I expounded and something moving in the darkness, to the women what had disturbed me, so I raised my head in a courageous and what an apparition I had seenmanner to see and question who was not hinting, however, that I thought there. But judge what I suffered, it was Mrs Keckle. While I was thus when I beheld, by the dim glimmer speaking, one of the maidens geid of the star-light of the window, that shrill skirling laugh, crying, Och
TE the curtains of the bed were awfully hon, the poor wig ?" and sure enough shaken, and every now and then what no thing could be more humiliating I thought a woman with a mutch than the sight it was ; for the black keeking in upon me. The little gude cat, instigated, as I think, by Diabolus was surely busy that night, for I himself to an endeavour to pull it down, thought the apparition was the wie had with her claws combed out both dow, and that I saw Cluty himself at the curls and the pouther; so that it every other keek she gave, looking at was hinging as lank and feckless as me o'er her shoulder with his fiery a tap of lint, just as if neither the
In short, the sight and vision mistress nor me had laid a hand upon grew to such a head upon me, that I it. And thus it was brought to light
- for started up, and cried with a loud and testimony, that what I had seen voice, “o! Mistress Keckle, Mistress and heard was but the deevil of a Keckle, what's brought you here?” black cat louping and jumping to The sound of my terrification gart the bring down my new wig for a playock whole house diri, and the widow her- to herself, in the which most singular self, with her twa servan lasses, with exploits she utterly ruined it; for upcandles in their hands, came in their on an examine next day the whole fafannen coaties to see what was the culty of the curls was destroyed
, and matter, thinking I had gane by my- great detriment done to the substance self, or was taken with some sore thereof." dead-ill. But when the lights entered
The Odontist, at the end of Mr Birkwhistle's story, applied himself to seduce from her taciturnity a matronly woman, that uttered herself in a sort of Engelb lified Scotch, or, as the Doctor said in a by way, winking with a drollery that isdite was itself an entertainment to me—“Her words are just a mixture of pease and with sweeties.”
Madam," quo' the Odontist, as ye seem to have had some experience of man, ye'll just gie us a bit tig and gae by, in the shape of some wee couthy tale; tih and to help to oil the hinge of your tongue-hae, take a glass o' wine.'
“ Ye're very obligatory," said the mistress ; " and I thank you for this great proof of your politesse and expedience. But deed, Doctor, I have met with nothing of a jocosity to entertain the like of you, saving a sore fright that I got some years ago, the which, in all particulars, was one of the most comical misfortunes that ever happened to any single woman, far less to a desolate widow like me.'
TRAVELLING BY NIGHT.
TALE, No. XIV. “YE should ken, Doctor, and gen- the design and intent of travelling tlemen, and ladies, that I am, by rea- by night and by day to Edinburgh
, son of birth, parentage, and education, straight through, without stopping. an Edinburgh woman. But, in course i'll never forget, to the day I die, of time, it so fell out, that when I was what befell me in that journey
, by a married, I found myself left a widow nocturnal reciprocity with a poor young in the city of Bristol ; upon the which man. yevent I took up a house in Clifton,- “We took him in on the road, where nae doubt,
Doctor, ye have heard often he was waiting for the carriage, with enough tell o Clifton,-and living an umbrella under his oxter
, and also there, as I was saying, I took a weary bundle in his hand. The sight of him ing fit to see my kith and kin in Scotland, and so set out in the coach, with and blue, his cheeks skin and bone, and
was a sore thing, for his eyes were big
e had a host that was just dreadful. held him up, as away the coach went t was death rapping with his knuckle with us all three. I the chamber door of the poor crea- " I wish, ma'am,” said the supporter, are's precious soul. But we travelled after having sat sometime silent," that a, and I said to the young man that the man be not already dead, for I do is friends were making a victim of not think he breathes.” im. He, however, had no fear, say- “Don't trouble him," quo’I, “ he's ig he was going home to try the be- but in a low way.” efit of his native air.
We had not gone far till he lifted “When we came, I think it was to the dead man's arm and let it fall, and he town of Lancaster, I steppit out to it fell like a lump of clay: et a chop of dinner, leaving the lad By heaven, he's dead !” said my i the coach, and when I had received living companion in alarm ; “ he does "refreshment, and taken my seat again, not breath, and his hand is as powersaw he was busy with his bundle, in less as a knuckle of veal." he custody of which he had a bottle “ Cannot you let the man alone,” nd a veal pye. Heavens preserve us! said I; “ how would you like to be so 10' I, what poison is that ye have fashed if ye had fainted yourself? I een murdering yourself with ? -_But tell you it's no decent to be meddling -2 only laughed to see the terror I was with either his feet or hands." i. For a' that, to think of a man Upon my saying which words, the ith such a coughing host, eating such drunken fool, holding up the body peppery conservatory as a pye, and with his left hand, lifted one of its sting of the deadly indecorum of a legs and let it drop. randy bottle, was a constipation of Madam,” said he, in a mournful fiction that I cannot sufficiently ex- voice, “he does not breath, he has no
power in his hands, and his leg's a " However, nothing happened for dead log. I'll bet ten to one, he's dead.” some time, but the coach hurled, he Surely," quo' I, “no poor woman -osted, and the night it was growing was ever so tormented as I am- -what ark; at last he gave, as ye would say, business have you either to bet or barskraik, and fell as dead as a door- gain on the subject? Cannot ye in a ail, with the pye and the bottle on peaceable manner just do as I bid you, he seat before me.
and keep the poor man in a christian "At first, as ye may think, I was con- posture ?" vunded, but presently I heard a lad “But for all that, we had not driven hat was ree with drink singing on the far till the inquisitive fellow put his p of the coach ; so being my leeful hand into the bosom of the corpse. ine with the dead body, I put my “ By jingo, madam,” said he, “ if ead out at the window, and bade the this ben't a dead man, the last oyster pachman to stop. It was by this time I swallowed is living yet—he does not uite dark.
breathe, his hand's powerless, his leg "I'll be very much obligated to can't move, and his heart don't beat. ou," quo' I to the driver, “ if ye'll let The game's all up with him, depend he gentlemen that's singing so blythe- upon't, or my name's not Jack Lowy come in beside me; for the poor lad ther. hat was here has taken an ill turn.” “ Well, I declare, Mr Lowther,"
“The coachman very civilly consent- quo' I, “ I never met the like of you d to this, and the drunken nightin- --who ever heard of a man dying in a ale was allowed to come in ; but be- stage-coach ? I am surprised ye could ore he got the door opened, I took think of mentioning such a thing to a are to set the corpse upright, and to leddy. It's enough to frighten me out slace it all in order with the bundle in of my judgment--for the love of peace, ts hand on its knee.
Mr Lowther, hold your tongue about Friend," said I to the ree man, death, and haud up the man till we ye'll be so good as to keep this poor get to Kendal.” ad in a steady posture, for he has had I may hold him up—that I don't
low turn, and maybe it'll be some time refuse; but ina’am,” said Mr Lowther, Jefore he recover.
“ the poor fellow is already food for "I'll do that,” said he ; and accord
Feel his bosom, put in your ngly he sat beside the dead man and hand-do pray. By Jingo, he is as cold
as a frog, and as dead as a leg of mutton. other lights came flaming, and a crowd I have given him such a pinch, that if gathered around us, while Mr Lowther he had a spark of life it must have jumped out of the carriage, like a creamade him jump."
ture by himself, and was like to faint “ Mr Lowther,” said I, with great with the thought of having travelled in sincerity,."ye're a most extraordinary thecompany of a corpse. And tobe sureperplexity, to nip the man in that way. ly, it was not a very pleasant companion It's enough to cause his death-1 am we had ; however, it gave me a warnsurprised ye
have so little regard to ing never to travel by night again; humanity."
for I was needcessitated to hide til the “So with some converse of the same coroner had made a questification of 2 sort, we at last reached the inn door at my testimony, and I got no sleep, neia Kendal, and when the waiter came with ther that night, nor for three after, a candle to see who would light for with the thought of sitting in a coach supper, I said to him, “Let me quietly with a dead body, holding a real pye out, for there's a dead man in the coach and a brandy bottle in its hand—which beside me.” The waiter uttered a cry every one must allow was a concurrence of terrification, and let the candle fall of a very alarming kind to a single in the dub, but in an instant twenty woman.
When the Englified Edinburgh lady had made an end of her story, the Doctor gave me a nodge on the elbow, and said with a winking, to let me ken he was but in jocularity,“Now, Tammy, ye'll see how I'll squabash them;" and de with that, he addressed himself aloud to the company of passengers assembled round us-saying how he was diverted by the stories he had heard, but that he had one of his own to tell, more extraordinary than them all, with free other preliminary observes of the same sort, to waylay the attention.
THE ODONTIST'S MONKEY,
TALE, No. XV. “ I had a monkey once it was just was on the table like a flea. “ Dost like a French wean-a' mouth and een. thou think, Puggy," quo' !, “ thou It came from Senegal, or Gibraltar, or could'st learn to write?"-I was just ** the Ape-hill of Africa-whilk o' the confoundit to see the thing at the three, gude kens. But it was nae ane words take a pen and dip it into the of the common clanjamphrey that ye ink bottle, and then look up in my see at fairs-it was a douce monkey, face and gie a nod, as much as to say wi' nane o' that devilry and chatter of -“I'll try, set me a copy." the showman's tribe; it was as com- “ So I set tae sensible beast a copy posed as a provost, and did all its ore in strokes, and it then began after me. <u ders and ends in a methodical manner. It's strokes were better than mine-I "LE Lordsake, but it had amaist as muckle was dumfoundered, and next tried it at gumpshion as my friend Tammy here, in the A. B. C.--no Chinese copiator and I took a pleasure in the education could do half so well.—“I'll make a drum of the creature-I have long had a something as good as a printing-press conceit that the auld way of education or the lithography, othee, Puggy," is no conducted in a proper manner, said I, patting it on the head. --The and therefore I tried a new device o creature look'd up weel pleased wi’ the tot my ain with Puggy. Noo, attend to compliment; and then I wrote in large che what am telling for if ye dinna fol- text car, and pointing to pussy, that led to low the thread o' my discourse, ye'll was lying on the rug afore the fire
, lose the end o't alltogether.
said —-CAT: Puggy gave a nod, and Ae morning I was sitting writing immediately wrote cat, and pointing a bit sang for Blackwood's
His Mao to baudrons, gave another nod, and said gazine couldna go on without me cat. when I observed Puggy watching me “Are ye no the devil ?" said I, startwi' the e'e of a philosopher or a pro- ing back, and looking to see that it fessor-ye ken the ane's as wise as the hadna a cloven foot. I then drew in other-I took a vizy at the beast, and my chair, and gave it another lesson, I said tillt, “ Puggy, come here,” and it and for copy, set it'HAND,' repeate
eng the word, and shewing my own, word Fetch. Puggy was fash'd a wee cull which Puggy did in the same man- at first, but by and by it suited the acner, with a humanity no to be descri- tion to the word, as Will Shakespeare sed. In this way on the first morning says, and I soon saw it understood me taught it to read and write, and speak like another Solomon. Then I wrote she name of every thing in the room, Me, but without speaking it, mind - ind about me.
that, and touched myself. Puggy like“The second lesson was more curious wise wrote me, and, coming forward, han the first. I tried to gie't abstract touched me, and looking up in my deas. There's no a professor o' the face, shewed that it understood that I netaphysical nonsense, o' a' the col- was me.-Book it had learnt the day eges, can teach his 'whippersnapper before, as I was telling you, so that tudents like me.
when I laid the volume back again on “ I laid a book on a chair, and going the chair, and said, “ Puggy, fetch me o my place at the table, I went back the book,” it jumpit away and brought nd brought the book to it, and laid it it as cleverly as a fairy.in the table, and then I wrote the e. Here the Doctor made a full stop, for every body was listening in credulous
dmiration, and then he rose from the table, and, flourishing his switch, wirled round like a totum, and made all the echoes of the coast ring with his uughter at having quizzed the natives.
Thus passed the first afternoon of my retour by the Mountaineer, and the ext day being blasty and bleak, nobody was in a humour either to tell or to ear stories; but on the morning of the third, as we came in sight of the Bass, ae sun came so brightly out of his bed ayont the sea, to run his race rejoicing, aat we felt the strength of man renewed within us, and the Doctor, being as lithe as a bumbee in a summer morning, immediately after breakfast began, ke that busy creature humming from flower to flower, to gather tales and leasant stories from all around him.
When we had arranged our stools after breakfast on the deck, and chosen ne Odontist preses of the sitting, he looked around with his hawk's eye, and xing on a young man of a deinure and clerical look, said to him, “ Friend, it's see what ye hae gotten in your pack; open, and shew's your wares. Vith that the austere lad answered that he would relate a story suitable to he place and the objects around us.
Tale, No. XVI. " I am sorry, sir,” said he, with a that have been substituted in some rave voice, «s that there are some places for “ the praises of the congremong us who consider the reverend gation,” are abominations which our entleman's story as a derogatory pic- ancestors would have laughed down, are of the Scottish clergy. I think or swept away with the besom of dehose who do so, have allowed their struction, as they did the trumpery of nderstandings to be seduced into a the monks and prelates. I say this the verence for forms and ceremonies, to- more seriously, because of late a spirit ally inconsistent with that familiar seems to have gone abroad, at war with ad domestic piety which is charac- that reverence which Scottish hearts aristic of the Presbycer, and enters were once taught to cherish for the ato all he does and says. The new- martyrs of their national religion. ingled formalities that are corrupting But, sir, when those perishable temche simplicity of the Presbyterian wor- ples which vanity purposes to raise to hip-the papistical ringing of “the the learned and the valiant, are crumacring bell"* before the minister en- bled into dust, yon monument, which
ers the pulpit, and the heartless trills the Divine Architect himself has raiof those hireling and prelatic choirs sed, will stand sublime amidst the so
* “ The sacring bell” is the small bell which is rung to announce the elevation of he Host, and before the curtain is drawn, in the mummery of the Mass. Vol. X.