CHAPTER IV.

seemed useless to attempt any thing like a restoration of order or tranquillity after this explosion about the astrologer and the hay-loft, and equally impossible to explain to Cuthbert, when he was awakened into consciousness, what had actually occurred; and accordingly Harriet, with an expressive look at me, rose from the table, not exactly as if wishing any body else to follow her example, but at the same time fully expecting that her move would produce an adjournment-nor was she wrong; for our fair visiter, not exactly knowing the rules and regulations of the family, which were rather lax in the particular of "early to bed and early to rise," immediately quitted her seat-having, however, first finished her last tumbler of what in common parlance was remarkably strong punch. Kitty, who clung about her with what appeared to me a parasitical affectation of affection, said to her, in a tone ill suited, as I thought, to her time of life and position in society—

"Oh, don't go, dear, yet-have another glass. I'm sure it will do you good."

No, dearest," said Mrs. Brandyball, with one of her angelic smiles; "I always attend to the dictates of prudence. The draught is nectareous, but time wears on, and dear Mrs. Gurney is already fatigued."

"Yes, but," said Kitty, "you know you always have three or four glasses at home."

"Never mind, dear love," said Mrs. Brandyball, looking furious, endeavouring to free herself from the girl's embrace, and evidently wishing her-where-it might not be quite decorous here to mention.

The ladies retired; Mrs. Wells had gone home some time before, Wells having sent the carriage for her from the rectory after it had set him down; which violation of his promise to join us after the early dinner-party broke up, I, perhaps uncharitably, attributed to a want of the forbear

ance which Mrs. Brandyball had recently exhibited. The adieux of the children and Cuthbert occupied nearly a quarter of an hour, and, during their progress, Kate enumerated all the places which she would lionise in the morning with her dear governess; and, having liberally detailed the programme of the performance, completely upset me by telling her visiter that it would take at least a week to see all the things worth seeing in the neighbourhood.

I must do Mrs. Brandyball the justice to say, that she endeavoured, or seemed to endeavour, to moderate the energy of her fair pupil; and by mingling with her smiles, approving of the proposition, sundry deferential looks towards Harriet, who stood "pageing her heels" while the animated Miss Falwasser enlarged upon the loveliness of the coast, and the beauty of the drives, contrived to convey very evidently her feeling that the whole of the young lady's arrangements were subject to the control and permission of the lady of the house.

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"Very nice, amiable woman," said Cuthbert, after the party had left the room; so natural-eh-so unaffected.” Sniggs and I exchanged looks.

"What remarkably fine hair she has," said Sniggs, somewhat theatrically, sipping his third glass of punch.

Cuthbert did not see the point of Galen's observation, which conveyed to my mind, and that of Merman (who waited to walk home with the apothecary) all he meant it should, as regarded what the Lakers would call the "universality of her naturalness." In fact, my poor brother was of so easy a disposition, and so much readier to admit than dispute, that it never once entered his head that the ringlets which wantoned over Mrs. Brandyball's forehead were other than indigenous; and as neither Sniggs nor myself felt at all desirous to mar the serenity with which he seemed inclined to view all the schoolmistress's perfections, or fatigue him with a discussion upon the peculiar merits of the "soft illusion" with which she contrived to set off her somewhat matured charms, we allowed him to continue in his state of credulous blessedness, from which it would have been downright barbarity to disturb him.

"Will any one tell me what o'clock it is?" said Cuthbert. "It is almost time for bed-dear, dear—what a deal of trouble one takes in getting up and going to sleep-it is always the same thing over and over again-just do me the kindness to ring the bell-thank you-that-ah-is not that my pocket-handkerchief on the floor?-yes, thank you-oh, Hutton, are you there?-well-ah-it's only to wheel me

to my room. Good night, good night, Sniggs-no fear about Tom's eye-eh?"

"None in the least, sir," said Sniggs.

Have you thought any more of what I got Hutton to write to you about?" said Cuthbert. "Kitty's ankle-boneI forgot to talk to you about it-you'll be here to-morrowcome soon, and, if you have time, we'll have one game of chess before luncheon. Good night, Gilbert-good night, Mr.-pshaw-dear-Mr. Merman."

And away was he wheeled-having again invited Sniggs to chess and, par consequence, to luncheon. Well! I cannot help it; I suppose it must be so.

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Come, Sniggs," said I, "let us finish the jug."

"What!" said Sniggs, "you are in the jugular vein tonight, sir."

I laughed, and should have laughed more if Sniggs had not made the same wretched pun a hundred times before. Merman did not see any joke in it, but talked of ringing for his great-coat, inasmuch as it was desperately cold in the hall, and he had a cough, and Fanny desired him to take care of himself. I rang the bell, and the coat and cloak were brought, and my guests packed up for departure. I shook hands with both: as Merman was leaving the room, he turned suddenly back and said,

"Do you expect me at dinner to-morrow?"

Now I ask the best tactician in the world what answer I could give to such a question but that which I did? "Too happy to see you."

That I was sincere in saying so, I cannot assert, and yet the invitation, or rather the admission, to my house was sincerely offered. I have already said I disliked Merman; but those who were loved by those whom I loved, were fond of him, and enjoyed his society: so that although, as directly relating to Merman and myself, that which I said was not true-still, as affecting the pleasure and amusement of others upon whom my regards were reflected from her who was all the world to me, I conscientiously said that I should be happy to see him. "For their sakes," was the mental reservation. However, as he was to come, and I could not hope to enjoy my much-desired domestic meal while Mrs. Brandyball stayed, I resolved upon having Wells of the party, and accordingly begged Merman, who would, in all proba-❤ bility, see him before I should in the morning, to ask him to join us; still, I admit wondering to myself how the reverend gentleman came to permit the affair between Fanny and the lieutenant to linger on so long without coming to a decision.

My case had been settled in a fifth part of the time, although I had never-at least I do not think I ever hadmade any such manifestations of devotion to Harriet as the lieutenant has been exhibiting during the last four or five months.

This circumstance brought to my mind the often-repeated axiom of my reverend friend with regard to early marriages, even without the actual possession of fortune, and the singular concatenation of circumstances by which, in my own case, his anticipations, couleur de rose, had been I realized; and that again brought to my recollection a most ungenerous and ungracious comparison on my part between the actual state of my present circumstances, and the probabilities of what would have occurred if I had missed my brother on the day of his return, or if, by any unforeseen circumstances, he had lost the fortune he possessed; in which case Harriet and I should have been living upon a much more moderate seale than we now are,-I, in some way, labouring to increase my income, and perhaps doing something to obtain a reputation, as well as profit. To have contented myself under such circumstances would have been wise and philosophical; and there was nothing wrong or uncourteous in instituting such a comparison; the ungraciousness and the ungenerousness of the process applied only to the conclusion at which I arrived, that, although I might have kept two servants instead of seven or eight, my wife would have had no carriage; and my table would have been less amply covered; that my house would have been small, instead of large; and that I should have toiled, instead of trifled; I should have been independent. I could have sat down quietly with my nice, kind, good-humoured Harriet, have enjoyed that ingenuous interchange of thoughts and opinions, which is the charm of domestic life, and if I had had beyond enough, a little to spare, I might at least have chosen the friend who should be our guest.

Now this is all wrong. It makes me think I have a bad heart; that I am ungrateful to Cuthbert. No, I am not; but with all his kindness to me, with all my affection for him, I am not happy,-I am not at my case. Then-it sounds most unfraternal to think of it-he said he should go to Cheltenham long before dear Harriet's accouchement; and I begged him not to leave us. I suppose that may be the reason why he seems to have abandoned the intention altogether; and now I am sorry he does not mean to go: we should be quieter during her illness; but still I ought not to wish him to leave Ashmead, if he is happier where he is;

what I really do think is, that he would be more amused at Cheltenham than he can possibly be with us; especially during the period of her confinement.

The Nubleys are gone to town to-day; he is reduced to Sniggs; Wells is too vivacious for him; his mind cannot travel fast enough to catch Well's jokes and anecdotes. However, if he is confortable, why, we owe him every thing; and, pah!-I will not worry myself with thinking about it. I will bear all the little rubs I meet with, patiently and properly, and keep my temper; or, perhaps, as my temper seems to be at present by no means good, change it as soon as possible.

How is it possible, with the strongest possible fraternal feelings, to maintain this equanimity?

When I went to bed-yes, there it is-to bed-Harriet, who had not been particularly comfortable during the evening, and, poor dear soul, felt Cuthbert's rebuke about the whist, and Kitty's pre-eminence in every thing more deeply thau, perhaps, was necessary, told me that she proposed, after breakfast, next day, to drive over with Fanny in the pony phaeton to call on a Mrs. Somerton, a great friend of the Wells's, who had come on a visit at Hallowden, within about five miles of us. Harriet had always a persuasive way with her, and, dear love, it required very little effort on my part to make the arrangement, that she should drive Fanny, or Fanny, her, to this place. All that I apprehended was, that she might over-exert herself. However, she laughed kindly at my solicitude, and said that, not only she was sure the drive would do her good, but that she was most anxious to show whatever civility she might to this Mrs. Somerton, because,-what, I did not want to hearit was something connected with her family, and why should I argue farther? And so, before taking my last turn round to sleep, I told her, poor dear, to order her phaeton when she chose, and to invite Mrs. Somerton to come to us, if she liked; and so I dropped into my slumber, quite satisfied that that matter was finally arranged.

At breakfast Cuthbert did not appear; he had got a pain in his side; and Hutton had told him he had better not get up, and so he desired Hutton, when Mr. Sniggs came, to send him to his room. Harriet received Mrs. Brandyball with all her wonted good nature; and Mrs. Brandyball was more elegant and refined than ever. Kitty had breakfasted, so had Jane, but still they were supporters to their governess's arms, and were, as usual, on her dexter and sinister side. Tom was proscribed, much to my delight; Kitty