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of your being here; and hath threatened to put me into everlasting liberty, if I tell you of it; for he swears he'll turn me away.

Mrs Page. Thou 'rt a good boy; this secrecy of thine shall be a tailor to thee, and shall make thee a new doublet and hose.-I'll go hide me.

Mrs Ford. Do so.-Go tell thy master, I am alone.-Mistress Page, remember you your cue. [Exit ROBIN.

Mrs Page. I warrant thee; if I do not act it, hiss me. [Exit. Mrs Ford. Go to, then: we'll use this unwholesome humidity, this gross watery pumpion; we'll teach him to know turtles from jays.

Enter FALSTAFF.

Fal. "Have I caught my heavenly jewel?" Why, now let me die, for I have lived long enough; this is the period of my ambition: O this blessed hour! Mrs Ford. Oh, sweet Sir John!

Fal. Mistress Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate, mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish: I would thy husband were dead; I'll speak it before the best lord, I would make thee my lady.

Mrs Ford. I your lady, Sir John! alas, I should be a pitiful lady!

Fal. Let the court of France show me such another. I see how thine eye would emulate the diamond: thou hast the right arched beauty of the brow that becomes the ship-tire, the tire-valiant, or any tire of Venetian admittance.

Mrs Ford. A plain kerchief, Sir John: my brows become nothing else; nor that well neither.

Fal. By the Lord, thou art a traitor to say so: thou wouldst make an absolute courtier; and the firm fixure of thy foot would give an excellent motion to thy gait, in a semi-circled farthingale. I see what thou wert, if Fortune thy foe were not, Nature thy friend. Come, thou canst not hide it.

Mrs Ford. Believe me, there's no such thing in

me.

Fal. What made me love thee? let that persuade thee, there's something extraordinary in thee. Come, I cannot cog, and say thou art this and that, like a many of these lisping hawthorn buds, that come like women in men's apparel, and smell like Bucklersbury in simple-time; I cannot; but I love thee; none but thee; and thou deservest it.

Mrs Ford. Do not betray me, Sir. love mistress Page.

I fear you

Fal. Thou might'st as well say, I love to walk by the Counter-gate, which is as hateful to me as the reek of a lime-kiln.

Mrs Ford. Well, heaven knows how I love you; and you shall one day find it.

Fal. Keep in that mind; I'll deserve it.

Mrs Ford. Nay, I must tell you, so you do; or else I could not be in that mind.

Rob. [Within.] Mistress Ford! mistress Ford! here's mistress Page at the door, sweating, and blowing, and looking wildly, and would needs speak with you presently.

Fal. She shall not see me: I will ensconce me behind the arras.

Mrs Ford. Pray you, do so: she's a very tattling [FALSTAFF hides himself.

woman.

Enter Mistress PAGE and ROBIN.

What's the matter? how now!

You're shamed, you are overthrown, you're undone for ever!

Mrs Ford. What's the matter, good mistress Page?

Mrs Page. O well-a-day, mistress Ford! having an honest man to your husband, to give him such cause of suspicion!

Mrs Ford. What cause of suspicion?

Mrs Page. What cause of suspicion?-Out upon you! how am I mistook in you!

Mrs Ford. Why, alas, what's the matter?

Mrs Page. Your husband's coming hither, woman, with all the officers in Windsor, to search for a gentleman, that he says, is here now in the house, by your consent, to take an ill advantage of his absence: you are undone.

Mrs Ford. 'Tis not so, I hope.

Mrs Page. Pray heaven it be not so, that you have such a man here! but 'tis most certain your husband's coming, with half Windsor at his heels, to search for such a one. I come before to tell you. If you know yourself clear, why, I am glad of it; but if you have a friend here, convey, convey him out. Be not amazed; call all your senses to you: defend your reputation, or bid farewell to your good life for ever.

Mrs Ford. What shall I do?-There is a genticman, my dear friend; and I fear not mine own shame, so much as his peril: I had rather than a thousand pound, he were out of the house.

Mrs Page. For shame! never stand "you had rather," and "you had rather:" your husband's here at hand; bethink you of some conveyance: in the house you cannot hide him.-O, how have you deceived me!-Look, here is a basket: if he be of any reasonable stature, he may creep in here; and bucking: or, it is whiting-time, send him by your throw foul linen upon him, as if it were going to

two men to Datchet-mead.

Mrs Ford. He's too big to go in there. What shall I do?

Re-enter FALStaff.

Fal. Let me see 't, let me see 't, O, let me see't! I'll in, I'll in :-follow your friend's counsel:-I'll in. Mrs Page. What, Sir John Falstaff! Are these your letters, knight?

Fal. I love thee, and none but thee; help me away: let me creep in here. I'll never[He gets into the basket; they cover him with foul linen. Mrs Page. Help to cover your master, boy.-Call your men, mistress Ford.--You dissembling knight! [Exit ROBIN.

Mrs Ford. What, John! Robert! John! [Reenter Servants.] Go take up these clothes here quickly-where's the cowl-staff? look, how you drumble! carry them to the laundress in Datchetmead; quickly, come.

Enter FORD, PAGE, CAIUS, and Str HUGH EVANS.

cause, why then make sport at me; then let me be Ford. Pray you, come near: if I suspect without your jest; I deserve it.-How now! what goes here? whither bear you this?

Serv. To the laundress, forsooth.

Mrs Ford. Why, what have you to do whither they bear it? You were best meddle with buckwashing.

Ford. Buck! I would I could wash myself of the Mrs Page. O mistress Ford! what have you done? buck! Buck, buck, buck? Ay, buck; I warrant you,

MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR.

buck; and of the season, too, it shall appear. [Ex-
eunt Servants with the basket.] Gentlemen, I have
dreamed to-night; I'll tell you my dream. Here,
here, here be my keys: ascend my chambers; search,
seek, find out: I'll warrant we'll unkennel the fox.
--Let me stop this way first.-So, now uncape.

Page. Good master Ford, be contented: you
wrong yourself too much.

Ford. True, master Page.-Up, gentlemen; you shall see sport anon: follow me, gentlemen. [Exit. Eva. This is fery fantastical humours and jealousies.

Caius. By gar, 'tis no de fashion of France; it is not jealous in France.

Page. Nay, follow him, gentlemen; see the issue of his search. [Exeunt PAGE, EVANS, and CAIUS. Mrs Page. Is there not a double excellency in this?

Mrs Ford. I know not which pleases me better, that my husband deceived, or Sir John.

Mrs Page. What a taking was he in, when your husband asked what was in the basket!

Mrs Ford. I am half afraid he will have need of washing; so, throwing him into the water will do him a benefit.

Mrs Page. Hang him, dishonest rascal! I would all of the same strain were in the same distress.

Mrs Ford. I think, my husband hath some special suspicion of Falstaff's being here; for I never saw him so gross in his jealousy till now.

Mrs Page. I will lay a plot to try that; and we will yet have more tricks with Falstaff: his dissolute disease will scarce obey this medicine.

Mrs Ford. Shall we send that foolish carrion, mistress Quickly, to him, and excuse his throwing into the water; and give him another hope, to betray him to another punishment?

Mrs Page. We will do it: let him be sent for to-morrow eight o'clock, to have amends.

Re-enter FORD, PAGE, CAIUS, and Sir HUGH EVANS. Ford. I cannot find him: may be, the knave bragged of that he could not compass.

Mrs Page. [Aside to Mrs FORD.] Heard you that?

Mrs Ford. You use me well, master Ford, do you?
Ford. Ay, I do so.

Mrs Ford. Heaven make you better than your thoughts!

Ford. Amen!

Mrs Page. You do yourself mighty wrong, master Ford.

Ford. Ay, ay; I must bear it.

Eva. If there be any pody in the house, and in the chambers, and in the coffers, and in the presses, heaven forgive my sins at the day of judgment!

Caius. By gar, nor I too: dere is no bodies.
Page. Fie, fie, master Ford! are you not ashamed?
What spirit, what devil suggests this imagination?
I would not have your distemper in this kind for
the wealth of Windsor Castle.

Ford. 'Tis my fault, master Page: I suffer for it. Eva. You suffer for a pad conscience: your wife is as honest a 'omans as I will desires among five thousand, and five hundred too.

Caius. By gar, I see 'tis an honest woman. Ford. Well; I promised you a dinner.-Come, come, walk in the park: I pray you, pardon me; I will hereafter make known to you, why I have done

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Eva. If there is one, I shall make two in the company.

Caius. If dere be one or two, I shall make-a de turd.

Ford. Pray you go, master Page.

Eva. I pray you now, remembrance to-morrow on the lousy knave, mine host.

Caius. Dat is good; by gar, vit all my heart. Eva. A lousy knave, to have his gibes, and his mockeries! [Excuni.

SCENE IV.-A Room in PAGE's House.

Therefore no more turn me to him, sweet Nan.
Enter FENTON and ANNE PAGE.
Fent. I see I cannot get thy father's love;
Anne. Alas! how then?
Fent.

He doth object, I am too great of birth;
Why, thou must be thyself.
And that my state being gall'd with my expense,
I seek to heal it only by his wealth.

Besides these, other bars he lays before me,-
My riots past, my wild societies;
And tells me, 'tis a thing impossible

I should love thee, but as a property.
Anne. May be, he tells you true.

[come!

Fent. No, heaven so speed me in my time to
Albeit, I will confess, thy father's wealth
Was the first motive that I woo'd thee, Anne:
Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value
Than stamps in gold, or sums in sealed bags;
And 'tis the very riches of thyself
That now I aim at.

Anne.

Gentle master Fenton,
Yet seek my father's love; still seek it, Sir:
If opportunity and humblest suit
Cannot attain it, why then,-Hark you hither.
[They converse apart.

Enter SHALLOW, SLENDER, and Mrs QUICKLY.
Shal. Break their talk, mistress Quickly: my
kinsman shall speak for himself.

Slen. I'll make a shaft or a bolt on 't. 'Slid, 'tis but venturing.

Shal. Be not dismayed.

Slen. No, she shall not dismay me: I care not for that, but that I am afeard.

Quick. Hark ye; master Slender would speak a word with you.

Anne. I come to him.-[Aside.]

father's choice.

This is my

O, what a world of vile ill-favour'd faults
Looks handsome in three hundred pounds a year!
Quick. And how does good master Fenton? Pray
you, a word with you.

Shal. She's coming; to her, coz.
hadst a father!

O boy, thou

Slen. I had a father, mistress Anne;-my uncle can tell you good jests of him.-Pray you, uncle, tell mistress Anne the jest, how my father stole two geese out of a pen, good uncle.

Shal. Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you.

Slen. Ay, that I do; as well as I love any woman in Gloucestershire.

Shal. He will maintain you like a gentlewoman. Slen. Ay, that I will, come cut and long-tail, under the degree of a squire.

Shal. He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds jointure.

Anne. Good master Shallow, let him woo for himself.

Shal. Marry, I thank you for it; I thank you for that good comfort.-She calls you, coz: I'll leave you.

Anne. Now, master Slender,

Slen. Now, good mistress Anne,-
Anne. What is your will?

Slen. My will! od's heartlings, that's a pretty jest, indeed! I ne'er made my will yet, I thank heaven; I am not such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise.

Anne. I mean, master Slender, what would you with me?

Slen. Truly, for mine own part, I would little or nothing with you. Your father, and my uncle, have made motions: if it be my luck, so; if not, happy man be his dole! They can tell you how things go, better than I can: you may ask your father; here he comes.

Enter PAGE and Mistress PAGE.

Page. Now, master Slender :-love him, daughter Anne.

Why, how now! what does master Fenton here? You wrong me, Sir, thus still to haunt my house : I told you, Sir, my daughter is dispos'd of.

Fent. Nay, master Fage, be not impatient. Mrs Page. Good master Fenton, come not to my child.

Page. She is no match for you.
Fent. Sir, will you hear me?
Page.

No, good master Fenton.-
Come, master Shallow;-come, son Slender; in.-
Knowing my mind, you wrong me, master Fenton.
[Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER.
Quick. Speak to mistress Page.
[daughter
Fent. Good mistress Page, for that I love your
In such a righteous fashion as I do,
Perforce, against all checks, rebukes, and manners,
I must advance the colours of my love,
And not retire: let me have your good will. [fool.
Anne. Good mother, do not marry me to yond'
Mrs Page. I mean it not; I seek you a better
husband.

Quick. That's my master, master doctor. Anne. Alas! I had rather be set quick i' the earth, And bowl'd to death with turnips!

Mrs Page. Come, trouble not yourself.-Good master Fenton,

I will not be your friend, nor enemy:

My daughter will I question how she loves you,
And as I find her, so am I affected.
'Till then, farewell, Sir: she must needs go in;
Her father will be angry.

Fent. Farewell, gentle mistress:-farewell, Nan.
[Exeunt Mrs PAGE and ANNE.

Quick. This is my doing, now:-"Nay," said I, "will you cast away your child on a fool, and a physician? look on master Fenton:"-this is my doing. [night Fent. I thank thee; and I pray thee, once to

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Quick. Now, heaven send thee good fortune! [Exit FENTON.] A kind heart he hath: a woman would run through fire and water for such a kind heart. But yet I would my master had mistress Anne; or I would master Slender had her; or, in sooth, I would master Fenton had her: I will do what I can for them all three; for so I have promised, and I'll be as good as my word; but speciously for master Fenton. Well, I must of another errand to Sir John Falstaff from my two mistresses: what a beast am I to slack it! [Exit.

SCENE V.-A Room in the Garter Inn.
Enter FALSTAFF and BARDOLPH.

Fal. Bardolph, I say,—
Bard. Here, Sir.

Fal. Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in't. [Exit BARD.] Have I lived to be carried in a basket, like a barrow of butcher's offal, and to be thrown in the Thames? Well, if I be served such another trick, I'll have my brains ta'en out, and buttered, and give them to a dog for a new year's gift. The rogues slighted me into the river with as little remorse as they would have drowned a bitch's blind puppies, fifteen i' the litter: and you may know by my size, that I have a kind of alacrity in sinking; if the bottom were as deep as hell, I should down. I had been drowned, but that the shore was shelvy and shallow; a death that I abhor; for the water swells a man; and what a thing should I have been when I had been swelled! I should have been a mountain of mummy.

Re-enter BARDOLPH, with the Wine.

Bard. Here's mistress Quickly, Sir, to speak with you.

Fal. Come, let me pour in some sack to the Thames water; for my belly's as cold as if I had swallowed snow-balls for pills to cool the reins, Call her in.

Bard. Come in, woman.

Enter Mrs QUICKLY.

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Quick. Alas the day! good heart, that was not her fault: she does so take on with her men; they mistook their erection.

Fal. So did I mine, to build upon a foolish woman's promise.

Quick. Well, she laments, Sir, for it, that it would yearn your heart to see it. Her husband goes this morning a birding: she desires you once more to come to her between eight and nine. I must carry her word quickly: she'll make you amends, I warrant you.

Fal. Well, I will visit her: tell her so; and bid

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