Enter ROBIN.

What with me?

Heaven bless them, and

Fal. Well: Mistress Ford;-what of her? Quick. Why, Sir, she's a good creature. Lord, lord! your worship's a wanton! Well, heaven forgive you, and all of us, I pray!

Fal. Mistress Ford;-come, mistress Ford,Quick. Marry, this is the short and the long of it: you have brought her into such a canaries, as 'tis wonderful: the best courtier of them all, when the court lay at Windsor, could never have brought her to such a canary: yet there has been knights, and lords, and gentlemen, with their coaches; I warrant you, coach after coach, letter after letter, gift after gift; smelling so sweetly-all musk-and so rushling, I warrant you, in silk and gold; and in such alligant terms; and in such wine and sugar of the best, and the fairest, that would have won any woman's heart; and, I warrant you, they could never get an eye-wink of her.-I had myself twenty angels given me this morning; but I defy all angels, (in any such sort, as they say,) but in the way of honesty:-and, I warrant you, they could never get her so much as sip on a cup with the proudest of them all: and yet there has been earls, nay, which is more, pensioners; but, I warrant you, all is one with her.

Fal. But what says she to me? be brief, my good she Mercury.

Quick. Marry, she hath received your letter; for the which she thanks you a thousand times; and she gives you to notify, that her husband will be absence from his house between ten and eleven. Fal. Ten and eleven?

Quick. Ay, forsooth; and then you may come

[ACT II.

master Ford, her husband, will be from home. Alas! and see the picture, she says, that you wot of :the sweet woman leads an ill life with him; he's a very jealousy man; she leads a very frampold life with him, good heart.

her;

Fal. Ten and eleven.-Woman, commend me to I will not fail her. hearty commendations to you, too :-and let me tell Quick. Why, you say well. messenger to your worship. Mistress Page hath her But I have another you in your ear, she's as fartuous a civil modest wife, and one (I tell you) that will not miss you morning nor evening prayer, as any is in Windsor, whoe'er be the other-and she bade me tell your worship, that her husband is seldom from home; but, she hopes, there will come a time. I never knew a woman so dote upon a man: surely, I think you have charms, la; yes, in truth.

Fal. Not I, I assure thee: setting the attraction of my good parts aside, I have no other charms. Quick. Blessing on your heart for 't!

Fal. But, I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford's wife, and Page's wife, acquainted each other how they love me?

Quick. That were a jest, indeed!-they have not so little grace, -But mistress Page would desire you to send her I hope that were a trick, indeed! your little page, of all loves: her husband has a marvellous infection to the little page; and, truly, master Page is an honest man. Windsor leads a better life than she does: do what Never a wife in she will, say what she will, take all, pay all, go to bed when she list, rise when she list, all is as she kind woman in Windsor, she is one. You must send will: and, truly, she deserves it; for if there be a her your page; no remedy.

Fal. Why, I will.

Enter BARDOLPH.

Re-enter BARDOLPH, with FORD disguised.

Ford. Bless you, Sir!

Fal. And you, Sir! would you speak with me? Ford. I make bold, to press with so little prepara

tion upon you.

Fal. You're welcome.

us leave, drawer.

What's your will?-Give [Exit BARDOLPH. Ford. Sir, I am a gentleman that have spent much: my name is Brook.

Fal. Good master Brook, I desire more acquaintance of you.

Ford. Good Sir John, I sue for yours: not to charge you; for I must let you understand, I think myself in better plight for a lender than you are: the which hath something emboldened me to this unseasoned intrusion; for, they say, if money go before, all ways do lie open.

Fal. Money is a good soldier, Sir, and will on. Ford. Troth, and I have a bag of money here troubles me: if you will help to bear it, Sir John, take all, or half, for easing me of the carriage.

Fal. Sir, I know not how I may deserve to be your porter.

Ford. I will tell you, Sir, if you will give me the hearing.

Fal. Speak, good master Brook; I shall be glad to be your servant.

I

Ford. Sir, I hear you are a scholar,-I will be brief with you;-and you have been a man long known to me, though I had never so good means, 'as desire, to make myself acquainted with you. shall discover a thing to you, wherein I must very much lay open mine own imperfection: but, good Sir John, as you have one eye upon my follies, as you hear them unfolded, turn another into the register of your own, that I may pass with a reproof the easier, sith you yourself know how easy it is to be such an offender.

Fal. Very well, Sir; proceed.

Ford. There is a gentlewoman in this town, her husband's name is Ford.

Fal. Well, Sir.

Ford. I have long loved her, and, I protest to you, bestowed much on her; followed her with a doting observance; engrossed opportunities to meet her; fee'd every slight occasion that could but niggardly give me sight of her; not only bought many presents to give her, but have given largely to many, to know what she would have given. Briefly, I have pursued her as love hath pursued me; which hath been on the wing of all occasions. But whatsoever I have merited, either in my mind, or in my means, meed, I am sure, I have received none; unless experience be a jewel: that I have purchased at an infinite rate; and that hath taught me to say this,

Love like a shadow flies, when substance love pursues; Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues.

Fal. Have you received no promise of satisfaction at her hands?

Ford. Never.

Fal. Have you importuned her to such a purpose? Ford. Never.

Fal. Of what quality was your love, then? Ford. Like a fair house, built upon another man's ground; so that I have lost my edifice, by mistaking the place where I erected it.

Fal. To what purpose have you unfolded this to me?

Ford. When I have told you that, I have told you all. Some say, that though she appear honest to me, yet in other places she enlargeth her mirth so far, that there is shrewd construction made of her. Now, Sir John, here is the heart of my purpose: you are a gentleman of excellent breeding, admirable discourse, of great admittance, authentic in your place and person, generally allowed for your many war-like, court-like, and learned preparations. Fal. O, Sir!

Ford. Believe it, for you know it.-There is money; spend it, spend it; spend more; spend all I have; only give me so much of your time in exchange of it, as to lay an amiable siege to the honesty of this Ford's wife: use your art of wooing; win her to consent to you; if any man may, you

may as soon as any.

Fal. Would it apply well to the vehemency of your affection, that I should win what you would enjoy? Methinks, you prescribe to yourself very preposterously.

Ford. O, understand my drift. She dwells so securely on the excellency of her honour, that the folly of my soul dares not present itself: she is too bright to be looked against. Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand, my desires had instance and argument to commend themselves: I could drive her then from the ward of her purity, her reputation, her marriage vow, and a thousand other her defences, which now are too too strongly embattled against me. What say you to 't, Sir John?

Fal. Master Brook, I will first make bold with your money; next, give me your hand; and last, as I am a gentleman, you shall, if you will, enjoy Ford's

wife.

Fal. Want no mistress Ford, master Brook; you shall want none. I shall be with her (I may tell you) by her own appointment; even as you came in to me, her assistant, or go-between, parted from me: I say, I shall be with her between ten and eleven; for at that time the jealous rascally knave, her husband, will be forth. Come you to me at night; you shall know how I speed.

Ford. I am blest in your acquaintance. Do you know Ford, Sir?

Fal. Hang him, poor cuckoldly knave! I know him not.-Yet I wrong him, to call him poor: they say, the jealous wittolly knave hath masses of money; for the which, his wife seems to me wellfavoured. I will use her as the key of the cuckoldly rogue's coffer; and there's my harvest-home.

Ford. I would you knew Ford, Sir, that you might avoid him, if you saw him.

Fal. Hang him, mechanical salt-butter rogue! I will stare him out of his wits; I will awe him with my cudgel, it shall hang like a meteor o'er the cuckold's horns. Master Brook, thou shalt know I will predominate over the peasant, and thou shalt lie with his wife.-Come to me soon at night.— Ford's a knave, and I will aggravate his style; thou, master Brook, shalt know him for knave and cuckold.-Come to me soon at night. [Exit.

Ford. What a damned Epicurean rascal is this!

and

My heart is ready to crack with impatience.-Who says this is improvident jealousy? my wife hath sent to him, the hour is fixed, the match is made. Would any man have thought this?-See the hell of having a false woman! My bed shall be abused, my coffers ransacked, my reputation gnawn at; I shall not only receive this villainous wrong, but stand under the adoption of abominable terms, and by him that does me this wrong. Terms! names! -Amaimon sounds well; Lucifer, well; Barbason, well; yet they are devils' additions, the names of fiends: but cuckold! wittol cuckold! the devil himself hath not such a name. Page is an ass, a secure ass: he will trust his wife; he will not be jealous. I will rather trust a Fleming with my butter, parson Hugh the Welshman with my cheese, an Irishman with my aqua-vitæ bottle, or a thief to walk my ambling gelding, than my wife with herself: then she plots, then she ruminates, then she devises; and what they think in their hearts they may effect, they will break their hearts but they will effect. Heaven be praised for my jealousy!-Eleven o'clock the hour:-I will prevent this, detect my wife, be revenged on Falstaff, and laugh at Page. will about it; better three hours too soon, than a minute too late. Fie, fie, fie! cuckold! cuckold! cuckold! [Exit.

I

Rug. 'Tis past the hour, Sir, that Sir Hugh

promised to meet.

Caius. By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come: he has pray his Pible vell, dat he is no come. By gar, Jack Rugby, he is dead already, if he be

come.

Rug. He is wise, Sir; he knew your worship

would kill him, if he came.

Caius. By gar, de herring is no dead, so as I vill kill him. Take your rapier, Jack; I vill tell you how I vill kill him.

Rug. Alas, Sir! I cannot fence.
Caius. Villainy! take your rapier.
Rug. Forbear; here's company.

Enter Host, SHALLOW, SLENDER, and PAGE.

Host. Bless thee, bully doctor!
Shal. Save you, master Doctor Caius!
Page. Now, good master doctor!
Slen. Give you good-morrow, Sir.

Caius. Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?

Host. To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse; to see thee here, to see thee there; to see thee pass thy punto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy distance, thy montant. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? is he dead, my Francisco? ha, bully! What says my Esculapius? my Galen? my heart of elder? ha! is he dead, bully Stale? is he dead?

Caius. By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de vorld; he is not show his face.

Host. Thou art a Castalian king Urinal! Hector of Greece, my boy!

Caius. I pray you, bear vitness that me have stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no

come.

Shal. He is the wiser man, master doctor: he is a curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should fight, you go against the hair of your professions.-Is it not true, master Page?

Page. Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter, though now a man of peace.

Shal. Bodykins, master Page, though I now be old, and of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make one. Though we are justices, and doctors, and churchmen, master Page, we have some salt of our youth in us; we are the sons of women, master Page.

Page. 'Tis true, master Shallow.

Shal. It will be found so, master Page.-Master doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am sworn of the peace: you have showed yourself a wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise and patient churchman. You must go with me, master doctor.

Host. Pardon, guest-justice.-A word, monsieur Mock-water.

Caius. Mock-vater! vat is dat?

Host. Mock-water, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.

Caius. By gar, den, I have as much mock-vater as de Englishman.-Scurvy jack-dog priest! by gar, me vill cut his ears.

Host. He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully. Caius. Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat? Host. That is, he will make thee amends. Caius. By gar, me do look, he shall clapper-declaw me; for, by gar, me vill have it.

Host. And I will provoke him to 't, or let him

wag.

Caius. Me tank you for dat.

Host. And moreover, bully,-But first, master aside to them,] go you through the town to Frogguest, and master Page, and eke cavalero Slender,

more.

Page. Sir Hugh is there, is he?

Host. He is there: see what humour he is in; and I will bring the doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?

Shal. We will do it.

Page, Shal., and Slen. Adieu, good master doctor. [Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER. Caius. By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a jack-an-ape to Anne Page.

Host. Let him die: sheathe thy impatience; throw cold water on thy choler: go about the fields with me through Frogmore: I will bring thee where mistress Anne Page is, at a farm-house a-feasting; and thou shalt woo her. Cried I aim? said I well?

Caius. By gar, me tank you for dat: by gar, I love you; and I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients.

Host. For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne Page. Said I well?

Caius. By gar, 'tis good; vell said.
Host. Let us wag, then.

Caius. Come at my heels, Jack Rugby. [Exeunt.

Heaven prosper

[Sings.

the right!-What weapons is he? Sim. No weapons, Sir. There comes my master, master Shallow, and another gentleman, from Frogmore, over the stile, this way.

Eva. Pray you, give me my gown; or else keep it in your arms. [Reads in a book.

Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and Slender. Shal. How now, master parson! Good-morrow, good Sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice, and a good student from his book, and it is wonderful.

Slen. Ah, sweet Anne Page!

Page. Save you, good Sir Hugh!

Eva. Pless you from his mercy sake, all of you! Shal. What, the sword and the word! do you study them both, master parson?

Page. And youthful still, in your doublet and hose, this raw rheumatic day?

Eva. There is reasons and causes for it.

Page. We are come to you to do a good office, master parson.

Eva. Fery well: what is it?

Page. Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who, belike having received wrong by some person, is at most odds with his own gravity and patience that

Shal. So do you, good master doctor. Host. Disarm them, and let them question: let them keep their limbs whole, and hack our English.

Caius. I pray you, let-a me speak a word vit you. ear: verefore vill you not meet-a me?

Eva. Pray you, use your patience in goot time.

Caius. By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape.

Eva. Pray you, let us not be laughing-stogs to other men's humours; I desire you in friendship, and I will one way or other make you amends:-I will knog your urinals about your knave's cogscomb for missing your meetings and appointments.

Caius. Diable!-Jack Rugby,-mine host de Farretière, have I not stay for him to kill him? have I not, at de place I did appoint?

Eva. As I am a Christians soul, now, look you, this is the place appointed: I'll be judgment by mine host of the Garter.

Host. Peace, I say, Gallia and Guallia; French and Welsh; soul-curer and body-curer!

Caius. Ay, dat is very good; excellent.

Host. Peace, I say! hear mine host of the Garter. Am I politic? am I subtle? am I a Machiavel? Shall I lose my doctor? no; he gives me the potions, and the motions. Shall I lose my parson, my priest, my Sir Hugh? no; he gives me the proverbs and the noverbs.-Give me thy hand, terrestrial; so:-give me thy hand, celestial; so.-Boys of art, I have deceived you both; I have directed you to wrong places: your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be the issue.-Come, lay their swords to pawn.-Follow me, lad of peace; follow, follow, follow.

Shal. Trust me, a mad host!-Follow, gentlemen, follow.

Slen. O, sweet Anne Page!

[Exeunt SHALLow, Slender, Page, and Host.

Caius. Ha, do I perceive dat? have you make-a de sot of us, ha, ha?

Eva. This is well; he has made us his vloutingstog.-I desire you, that we may be friends; and let us knog our prains together to be revenge on this same scall, scurvey, cogging companion, the host of the Garter.

Caius. By gar, vit all my heart. He promise to bring me vere is Anne Page: by gar, he deceive me

too.

Eva. Well, I will smite his noddles.-pray you, follow. [Exeunt.

D

SCENE II.-A Street in WINDSOR.

Enter Mistress PAGE and ROBIN.

Mrs Page. Nay, keep your way, little gallant: you were wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader. Whether had you rather, lead mine eyes, or eye your master's heels?

Rob. I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man, than follow him like a dwarf.

Mrs Page. O, you are a flattering boy: now I see you'll be a courtier.

Enter FORD.

Ford. Well met, mistress Page. Whither go you? Mrs Page. Truly, Sir, to see your wife: is she at home?

Ford. Ay; and as idle as she may hang together, for want of company. I think, if your husbands were dead, you two would marry.

Mrs Page. Be sure of that,-two other husbands. Ford. Where had you this pretty weathercock? Mrs Page. I cannot tell what the dickens his name is my husband had him of.-What do you call your knight's name, sirrah?

Rob. Sir John Falstaff.

Ford. Sir John Falstaff!

Mrs Page. He, he; I can never hit on 's name.There is such a league between my good man and he!-Is your wife at home, indeed?

Ford. Indeed, she is. Mrs Page. By your leave, Sir: I am sick, till I see her. [Exeunt Mrs PAGE and ROBIN. Ford. Has Page any brains? hath he any eyes? hath he any thinking? Sure, they sleep; he hath no use of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty miles, as easy as a cannon will shoot pointblank twelve score. He pieces-out his wife's inciination; he gives her folly motion and advantage: and now she's going to my wife, and Falstaff's boy with her :-a man may hear this shower sing in the wind:-and Falstaff's boy with her!-Good plots! -they are laid; and our revolted wives share damnation together. Well; I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck the borrowed veil of modesty from the so-seeming Mrs Page, divulge Page himself for a secure and wilful Actæon; and to these violent proceedings all my neighbours shall cry aim. [Clock strikes.] The clock gives me my cue, and my assurance bids me search: there I shall find Falstaff. I shall be rather praised for this, than mocked; for it is as positive as the earth is firm, that Falstaff is there: I will go.

Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, SLENDER, Host, Sir HUGH EVANS, CAIUS, and RUGBY.

Page, Shal., &c. Well met, master Ford. Ford. Trust me, a good knot. I have good cheer at home; and I pray you all go with me.

Shal. I must excuse myself, master Ford. Slen. And so must I, Sir: we have appointed to dine with Mrs Anne, and I would not break with her for more money than I'll speak of.

Shal. We have lingered about a match between Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we shall have our answer.

Slen. I hope I have your good-will, father Page. Page. You have, master Slender; I stand wholly for you:-but my wife, master doctor, is for you altogether.

Caius. Ay, by gar; and de maid is love-a me: my nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush.

Host. What say you to young master Fenton? he capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he speaks holiday, he smells April and May: he will carry 't, he will carry 't; 'tis in his buttons; he will carry't.

Page. Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is of no having: he kept company with the wild Prince and Poins; he is of too high a region; he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes with the finger of my substance: if he take her, let him take her simply; the wealth I have waits on my consent, and my consent goes not that way.

Ford. I beseech you, heartily, some of you go home with me to dinner: besides your cheer, you shall have sport; I will show you a monster.Master Doctor, you shall go;-so shall you, master Page; and you, Sir Hugh.

Shal. Well, fare you well:-we shall have the freer wooing at master Page's.

[Excunt SHALLOW and SLENDER. Caius. Go home, John Rugby; I come anon.

[Exit RUGBY. Host. Farewell, my hearts: I will to my honest knight Falstaff, and drink canary with him.

[Exit Host. Ford. [Aside.] I think, I shall drink in pipe-wine first with him; I'll make him dance.-Will you go, gentles?

All. Have with you, to see this monster.

[Exeunt.

SCENE III.-A Room in FORD's House.
Enter Mistress FORD and Mistress PAGE.
Mrs Ford. What, John! what, Robert!
Mrs Page. Quickly, quickly:-Is the buck-bas-
ket-
Mrs Ford. I warrant.-What, Robin, I say!
Enter Servants with a large Basket.

Mrs Page. Come, come, come.
Mrs Ford. Here, set it down.

Mrs Page. Give your men the charge: we must be brief.

Mrs Ford. Marry, as I told you before, John, and Robert, be ready here hard by in the brewhouse; and when I suddenly call you, come forth, and, without any pause or staggering, take this basket on your shoulders: that done, trudge with it in all haste, and carry it among the whitsters in Datchet-mead, and there empty it in the muddy ditch, close by the Thames side.

Mrs Page. You will do it?

Mrs Ford. I have told them over and over; they lack no direction. -Be gone, and come when you are called. [Exeunt Servants. Mrs Page. Here comes little Robin.

Enter ROBIN.

Mrs Ford. How now, my eyas-musket! what news with you?

Rob. My master, Sir John, is come in at your back-door, mistress Ford, and requests your company.

Mrs Page. You little Jack-a-lent, have you been true to us?

Rob. Ay, I'll be sworn. My master knows not