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Besides, he gave me nothing, but still fed me With hopes and blows; and that was the induceTo this conundrum.

[ment Well. You are a rascal. He, that dares be false To a master, though unjust, will ne'er be true To any other. Look not for reward Or favour from me; I will shun thy sight As I would do a basilisk's. Thank my pity,

If thou keep thy ears; howe'er, I will take order Your practice shall be silenc'd.

Just. Gr. I'll commit him,

If you will have me, Sir.

Well. That were to little purpose;

His conscience be his punishment.-Not a word, But instantly be gone. [Exit MARRALL.

Marg. Oh, my poor father!

Alla. Nay, weep not, dearest, though it shows your pity.

What is decreed by Heaven we cannot alter: And Heaven here gives a precedent, to teach us That, when we leave religion and turn atheists, Their own abilities leave them.

Lord L. Pray you, take comfort;

I will endeavour you shall be his guardian
In his distraction: and for your land, Mr. Well-
I'll be an umpire

[born,

Between you and this the undoubted heir
Of Sir Giles Overreach. For me, here's the an-

chor

That I must fix on.

[Takes LADY ALLWORTH's hand Allw. What you shall determine,

My lord, I will allow of.

Well. 'Tis the language

That I speak too; but there is something else,
Beside the possession of my land

And payment of my debts, that I must practise.
I had a reputation, but 'twas lost

In my loose course; and, till I redeem it
Some noble way, I am but half made up.
It is a time of action; if your lordship
Will please to confer a company upon me
In your command, I doubt not, in my service
To my king and country, but I shall do some
That may make me right again.
[thing

Lord L. Your suit is granted,
And you lov'd for the motion.
Well. Nothing wants then,

[Addressing himself to the audien.e.
But your allowance-and in that our all
Is comprehended; it being known, nor we,
Nor he that wrote the comedy, can be free
Without your manumission; which, if you
Grant willingly, as a fair favour due

To the poet's and our labours (as you may,
For we despair not, gentlemen, of the play-
We jointly shall profess, your grace hath might
To teach us action, and him how to write.

[Exeunt.

39*

THE

DOCTOR AND THE APOTHECARY:

A MUSICAL ENTERTAINMENT,

IN TWO ACTS.

BY JAMES COBB, Esq.

REMARKS.

THIS pleasant antidote to dullness was well received during its run, and still maintains a place among the stock of the national theatres. The author we will have occasion to mention hereafter, in the Remarks on his "First Floor," and this piece will not diminish his credit as a dramatic writer.

Mrs. Inchbald's farce of "Animal Magnetism," (intended to ridicule the absurd reveries of that doctrine,) ap pears to have been laid under contribution by our Author; but the characters are combined in a pleasing manner. This piece first introduced Mr. Storace to the public as a composer; and his excellent music contributed to its

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SCENE I-The outside of THOMASO's House. Tho. What, moping yet, my frienu Guzman! A view of distant hills, with the sun setting-For shame, you a sailor, and carry sorrow behind them. aboard! Zounds! if I had lost a mistress,-nay, had it been my wife,

Enter STURMWALD, GUZMAN, ANNA, ISABELLA,

and THERESA.

TRIO. ANNA, Isabella, and GUZMAN.
Now the sun so faintly glancing
O'er the western hills his ray;
Evening shadows, quick advancing,
Triumph o'er the fading day.
DUET.-ANNA and ISABELLA.
Timorous love, at day affrighted,
Blushing, courts the silver moon;
Star. Bacchus' sons are now delighted,
Night's the jolly fellow's noon.
TRIO.

Evening thus our joys uniting,
To her power due homage pay;
Mirth, to dance and song inviting,
Bids us hail the close of day.

The. Well, Sir?

Tho. I think I could have comforted myself. Ah, captain, how far preferable are the charms of peace and a country life, to all the bustle and danger of a campaign!

Stur. It may be so to you, Signor Thomaso, who slumber in the inglorious lap of peace: but war is my element; glory is my mistress; and I have courted her amid the cannon's thunder.

Tho. Many men of many minds, captain; for my part, I always preferred a more quiet kind of courtship; but i'faith, you are a man of true gal lantry, to remain so partial to your mistress, after having lost the use of a leg and an eye, in her

service.

Stur. A leg and an eye! Psha,-trifles! while my honour, a soldier's vital spark, has escaped unhurt. You may be a very good apothecary,

Signor Thomaso, and may understand lotions and potions; but as to a soldier's honour

The. Ah, very true, captain. He is a most provoking man, though he is my husband. For shame, after our good friend, Captain Sturmwald, has come all the way from Germany to marry our daughter Anna.

Tho. Nay, I'm sure, the captain knows I mean no harm-Anna, come hither, child. [Aside to ANNA. Why don't you smile upon your husband, that is to be?

Anna. Do not, my dear father, persist in this cruel solicitation.

Tho. [Aside to her.] Psha! how can you be so obstinate!—though the captain is not very handsome, he is very rich. 'Tis true, he is rather old; but then you know you have the better chance of being a widow soon; and as to his having but one eye, it ought to be his recommendation, for you'll have no trouble in discovering his blind side. The. Lookye, Anna, you know my way of arguing, and so does your father. It is my pleasure that you marry Captain Sturmwald; and

nave him you shall.

Guz. Have a little patience with her, my dear Madam.

Anna. Then you are resolved to render me miserable!

On Love's bless'd altar burns the flame,

Whence Hymen's torch should kindle bright To bliss, which boasts fair virtue's name; It casts its pure and radiant light. But, ah! should avarice interpose, With sordid and unhallow'd fires, The prospect which their light bestows, Repentance and despair inspires.

[Exeunt ANNA, ISABELLA, and GUZMAN,

into the house.

The. Anna's reluctance is certainly owing to that impertinent slut, her cousin. I'm sure she does not inherit her obstinacy from me. When my mother proposed a husband to me, I gave my consent without a moment's hesitation. Didn't I, my dear?

The. True, my love; but then I had not lost any of my limbs in pursuit of glory, like the captain. [Aside to her. Stur. I was thinking whether I had not better talk to the young lady myself.

The. To be sure; how the deuce else are you to gain her consent?

Stur. I'faith, I will. She'll find me very entertaining. I'll breakfast with her to-morrow, and give her the history of my last campaign. I'll come early in the morning, that I may finish the story before dinner.

The. Ha! ha, ha!

Tho. [Aside.] He wont be out of water this half hour.

Stur. A scoundrel French dragoon, upon a black horse

Tho. A gray horse.

Stur. Black-black as jet.

Tho. I beg your pardon, captain, it was a gray horse. I have heard you tell the story twenty times, and you always said the horse was gray. So much for that. Now you must know, my drops

Stur. You have heard me tell the story then? Tho. Often-So my drops

Stur. And what d'ye think of it?

Tho. One of the best stories I ever heard in my life. SoStur. I'm very glad you like it.

another.

I'll tell you Tho. Curse his stories. [Aside.] To-morrow, captain, I shall be happy to hear it.

Stur. Well; if you are tired of my company, I'll go and get a bottle of good wine, to make me sleep soundly; and so adieu, my dear father-in

law.

Tho. Adieu, my dear son-in-law. [Aside.] What a cursed bore he is for talking. [Exit. Stur. A good kind of a man enough; but can't bear to hear any body talk, except himself. [Exit. The sun sets, and THOMASO's shop is lighted up. Enter CARLOS.

Car. When wilt thou cease, thou pleasing pain, With cruel sway to rend my heart?

Juan.

Yet, though of torment I complain,
Alas! I fear to cure the smart.

Enter JUAN, with a guitar.

Sighing never gains a maid!

I'll tell you what is better far;
Call good humour to your aid,

And play the lass a tune upon the sweet guitar.

If a heart has nature dealt her,

Music's charms will surely melt her;
But should the gipsy answer, No,

Sing tol de rol, and let her go.

Car. [Aside.] Zounds! I see some one at the A rival, perhaps !

door.

[They approach, each with his hand on his sword, till CARLOS perceives it to be JUAN.

Juan!

Juan. Carlos! my dear boy, how d'ye do?

Car. I'm heartily glad to see you-no, i'faith, now I think again, I am not glad to see you, till I know what brought you hither.

Juan. I was going to tell you, I have an ap[Exit THERESA.pointment with a very pretty girl in this houseCar. Ah! my fears. [Aside. Juan. So I am sure you will be complaisant enough to wish me a good night.

Tho. Well, captain, now my wife is gone, I want to have a little talk with you about my newinvented miraculous drops, as I call them, that cure all disorders.

Stur. Do they cure gun-shot wounds?
Tho. Every thing.

Stur. I wish then I had had a bottle in that engagement where I was wounded by a French dragoon in the shoulder. I'll tell you how it happened.

Tho. Unfortunate man that I am! He'll talk like my wife.

[Aside. Stur. We were fording a river, and I was about the middle of the stream

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we are going to cut throats without any cause. | urgent, I suppose-so I'll lose no time. What a There are two fair damsels in that house. What pleasure it is to attend sensible patients! I dare is the name of your mistress? say, he is a shrewd fellow, by his wishing to try my drops. [Exit THOMASO.

Car. Anna, the daughter of old Thomaso, the apothecary; and your mistress is

Juan. Isabella! her laughing little cousin. Cur. Then I am glad to see you, after all; and yet I am an unlucky dog, Juan. They are going to marry my dear Anna to old Sturmwald, the German captain. I dare not acquaint my father of my passion for her; you know he and Thomaso are the bitterest enemies. The only resource left is, to carry her off; and I have, for this week past, in vain sought an opportunity of seeing her. Juan. Oh, the devil! Old Thomaso's man, to shut the shop up. Stand aside

[THOMASO's man shuts up the shop, while they talk aside.

Give me your hand, Carlos-you shall see Anna, speak to her, and carry her off this night.

Car. My dear Juan, how is this to be accomplished?

Juan. The first thing is to get the old fellow

out of the house.

Car. And how is that to be managed? Juan. Very easily-as thus: I'll act an old woman, and bring him down, I'll warrant you. [Knocks.] Say nothing, and stand aside.

[Knocks louder. [THOMASO opens the window and looks out. Tho. What the devil is all that noise for?

Juan. [In a feigned voice.] Pray, is this Signor

Thomaso's?

Tho. Why, what do you want with Signor Thomaso; good woman?

Juan. The sick gentleman, Signor, at the next inn, much worse.

Tho. I'm sorry for it; I wish the gentleman had been much worse an hour ago; because then I could have attended him; but at present I'm going to bed.

Juan. Dear Signor, you wont leave the poor man to the mercy of an ignorant physician? Tho. Why, who attends him?

Juan. Dr. Bilioso.

Tho. Then I give him over. Good night to you, good woman. [Shuts the window.

Car. Our plot is ruined.
Juan. Not yet, Carlos.

[Knocks again, still louder. Tho. [Again opens the window.] Zounds! what's the matter with the woman? Go about your business.

Juan. [Again in a female voice.] The sick man has heard wonders related of your famous drops, Signor.

Tho. Eh! what!-Oh ho! he has heard of my drops. Well, Madam?

Juan. And he wishes you would come to him directly, and bring a bottle in your pocket.

Tho. Aye, that I will-poor soul! poor soul!— I'll cure him in spite of his physician. [Calls within] Halloo! Pedro! [To JUAN.] I'll go with you, good woman; and as we walk, I'll tell you some of the cures I have performed. I'll wait on you instantly. [Shuts the window. Car. This is a prosperous beginning, Juan. Juan. Hush, not a word-we must retire. [They retire.

Enter THOMASO, from the house. Tho. And so, good woman, you say,-Hey day, she is gone! The poor gentleman's case is

Juan. Ha, ha, ha! The old fox is fairly unkennel'd.

Car. But how are we to get into the house? Juan. The door is fast. Eh! i'faith this shutter is unbolted. [Opens part of the shutter.] So we will e'en get in at the shop window. Car. My best friend!

[Going to climb in at the window. Juan. Hold! let me reconnoitre first. I know every part of the house-follow me.

Car. Kind Cupid light us on our way! Juan. Psha! Zounds! a lantern would light us much better. So, rot your heroics, and follow me. [Gets in at the window, and CARLOS follows.

Enter STURMWALD, drunk.

Stur. Tol de rol, de rol-halt! Stand to your
arms, Captain Sturmwald. Do my eyes deceive
me, or have the enemy besieged my father-in-law's
house, and made a practicable breach in the shop-
window? Who the devil are they?-Thieves!
No, i'faith, that can't be-Who'd think of stear
ing any thing out of an apothecary's shop! Per-
haps they are gallants-have at you, my boys; I
must enter and defend my father-in-law. [Going
to climb in at the window, he stops.] But hold!
a prudent general should know what force he has
to contend with-besides, I forget-old Bolus
not at home-I remember I met him just now
Egad, I'll go and fetch him, and we'll surprise the
enemy together. How lucky it is that I am
sober! If I had taken the other bottle, my senses
might have been confused; but now I am cool
and collected. Ah! there is nothing like drink-
ing in moderation.
[Eril.

SCENE II.—The inside of THOMASO's Shop.
Enter JUAN and CARLOS.

Car. Hush! tread softly, for your life.
Juan. Why, what are you afraid of?
Car. If Thomaso should return! and then.
perhaps

Juan. Perhaps what? Why, your whole conversation is composed of ifs-buts-perhapses and supposes-a mere vocabulary of doubts.

Car Hark! I hear Anna's voice-the sound transports me. Oh, Juan, I scarcely know where I am!

Juan. Why, then, I'll tell you.- This is an
apothecary's shop; it is dark, and you are sur
rounded with phials, therefore take care you break
none- Those are stairs before us, and lead to the
room where our dear girls are-I shall go up first,
and you may follow, unless you prefer staying
here-I have now given you full information, and
so come along.
[Exeunt

SCENE III-A Room in THOMASO'S Hous
The Moon is seen through a window.
DUET. ANNA and ISABELLA.
Two maidens sat complaining,
And mourn'd their hapless lot
The pangs of absence paining,
Each by her love forgot.
On every former token

Of love, while fancy hung,
Of vows so sweet, yet broken,
They, deeply sighing, sung.

At every sound they hear,

With fond alarm they start;

Alternate hope and fear,

Now joy, now pain, impart.
But by each sound misguided,
Alas, they only find

Their tears, their sighs, derided,
By mocking rain and wind.

On every former, &c.

Anna. Isabella, 'tis a whole week since I saw ny Carlos. How can he say he loves me, and yet suffer them to marry me to this hateful Gernan officer?

The. [Within.] Anna, why don't you go to your chamber, child?

Isa. Heavens! your mother is not gone to bed yet.

Anna. And do you think my Carlos has really forsaken me? My Carlos, did I say-Yes, I will repeat it-My heart yields to the fond delusion of my tongue; and I think I love him better every time I call him mine. [Exit.

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Isa. My cousin was frightened at something;

but I am sure there was no reason to be afraid.

Anna. Do you know, Isabella, this unreasonable creature has brought me a marriage-contract, and would have me seize this moment to elope

with him!

Still I through Sorrow's tedious night,
Hope's friendly star discern;
On that I fix my anxious eye

Until my love return.
By Jealousy's pernicious power,
Untainted are my sighs;
Confiding in my Juan's truth,
My fondest wishes rise.

Still I through Sorrow's, &c.

Tho. [Without.] Hey, Guzman! Pedro! where the devil are ye?

Re-enter CARLOS, JUAN, and ANNA.
Anna. Oh, Isabella, my father is come home!

all the doors are locked.

Car. And our retreat cut off.

Isa. Then we are lost.

Where can we hide ourselves?

Juan. No, faith, I'm afraid we are all found.

Isa. Go into our chamber.

Anna. My father is now at the chamber-door.
Car. In here, then.

[Going into THERESA's chamber. Anna. That's my mother's room.

Isa. We are in luck. My uncle, in his hurry to visit his patient, has left the door of his study open. In, in, directly. [Exeunt CARLOS, and JUAN into the closet.] Here comes your father. Enter THOMASO and STURMWALD.

Tho. Anna! Theresa! Isabella! there are thieves in the house.

Anna. Thieves! bless me, Sir, what shall we do? Stur. Take 'em, to be sure; take 'em, dead os alive.

Enter THERESA.

The. What's that you say.-Thieves in our house? Tho. The captain saw them get in. He'll tell you the whole story.

Stur. That I will, with a great deal of pleasure. As I was coming from the tavern, where I had been drinking a glass in moderation, as sober as 1 in-law's house. What's to be done, thought 1; am now-I saw two men getting into my fatherfor this was enough to stagger me, you may suppose

enough to stagger you, I believe.
Tho. Oh! certainly. [Aside.] That you had

pocket.]

Car. [To ISABELLA.] And do you know, The. [Taking the contract from ANNA'S Madam, this unreasonable creature hesitates, all. This paper explains to me, that these thieves Yes, and here is enough to stagger us though she promised me long ago to elope, when-are of Cupid's gang; gentlemen who commit senever I could find an opportunity. Juan. Psha! Marry first, and dispute after-There, Thomaso, read that! [Gives the contract. timental robberies on the hearts of young ladies. wards; that would be much more in the common order of things.—Come, my dear Isabella, let us set them a good example; leave dissimulation to knaves and coquettes, and lead up the dance of Hymen as first couple.

Isa. Why, if I were sure you would never wish to change partners

Car. Consider, my dear Anna, the moments fly. Isa. [Peeping through the key-hole.] I vow, your mother is not in bed yet-[To ANNA.] Away, away instantly, and leave me to keep her quiet; I'll follow you directly. [Exeunt ANNA, CARLOS, and JUAN.] I'll sing, that she may suspect nothing.

Ye hours that part my love and me,
And slow with envy creep,
The dawn of bliss obscured by clouds
Of doubt, in vain ye keep.

VOL. I....3 N

between my daughter and Carlos?
Tho. What do I see! a contract of marriage

prise us in our own camp! Egad, we'll hold a
Stur. Carlos! What the devil! the enemy sur-
council of war immediately; I have something in

my

head

Tho. [Aside.] Yes, rather more than you ought

to have.

the house.
The. I tell you, I am sure young Carlos is in

council.-Bella! horida bella! is our resolve;
Stur. Is he? Why, then, we'll break up the
and so let us search for the enemy.

[Going to open THERESA's chamber-door The. Bless me, Captain Sturmwald-do you know that is my chamber?

Stur. Well, my dear mother-in-law; and is not a lady's chamber the most likely place to find ●

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