Heathen; tho' he that has the Patience to read thy vile untunable Ditties, will rather take thee for an, Irish Rat-catcher, that is faid to Rhime Vermin to Death, than the English Prudentius, or Robert Wisdom, Junior, as some of thine own Tribe ftyle thee, according to the Flesh; for thou doft abufe Scripture most unconfcionably, against its own exprefs Command, in cafting holy Things into Doggrel, which is worse and more abominable than unto Dogs; and this thou performest so dully, that some of the Virtuofo's have been puzzled to find out the Reason of it, 'till they were informed; but when thou writeft, thou doft ufe always to fet a Death's Head on the Defk before thee, as one Campanella, a Popish Friar, is faid to have done the Pictures of thofe he intended to address his Writings; and found it most certain, upon feveral Experiments, that the Perfon to the Refemblance of whofe Countenance he could nearest force and fcrew his own, was always. most pleased with his Writings: And this they

And always found he had the best Succefs,
When beft he did it, most of all to please:
So famous Writers think their very Looks
Will add a great Advantage to their Books;
And therefore, when they put their Works in Print,
Their Pictures are the first Thing handl'd'in't.

are confident is the natural Reason why thy Compofitions are so flat and dull, that they will hardly hold 'till the Ink is dry; and when they are printed, not one of an Hundred will endure the Stitching, but turn to fuch homely Uses as they are most fit and proper for. Truly, William, if I were your Friend, I should advise you to leave this Freak of the Death's Head, left the young Gentlemen of the House furprise you again (as you know they once drink Health'sdid at Midnight) and make you Sickness in it again, on your bare Marrowbones. But I wonder in what Part of the World thy Readers live, if there are any fuch Creatures in Nature! Verily, they ought to have their Shoulders grow above their Heads (like John Mandevil's People in Africk) for there is more of Labour and Drudgery than Understanding required, and they ought to have a large Meafure of Patience, Long-fuffering, and Ignorance, that can endure to read one Page of thine: For as in the North, the more dirty and foul the Highways are, the larger Measure they allow to their Miles; even fo doft thou to thy tedious dull Impertinencies; infomuch, that fome are of Opinion, that thy Readers ought to be dieted like Running Nags, before they can be in Breath to read thy long

winded Periods, which none but such as thyfelf will fubmit to; for, if few Words do best with the Wife, none of those will ever endure to have any Thing to do with thee. And yet I have heard, that thou dost not a little glory, that thy Works have past thro' all Sorts of Times, (but only those wherein they were refuted by the Hand of thy old Antagonift the Hangman) without Difpute or Quef

tion.

It is very true indeed, they are utterly in capable of Confutation, as fome Places are rendered impregnable by their barren rocky Situations, or by being fortified with Muddwalls and Ditches. He that fhould venture to encounter thee at thy own Weapon, might be said to revive the old Way of fighting with Sandbags, the true Types of thy dry disjointed Stuff; and befides, muft of Neceffity cite fo many Sorts of Wares from Plumbs and Sugar, to Mundungus and Ratfbane, with which thy Works are always bound up, that his Writings will be charged with Quotations, as full and dull as thine own: But fince fo many Chandlers and Haberdashers of fmall Wares have undertaken to confute thee, and proceeded fo far there

in already, it were an Act of great Imprudence to take the Tafk out of their Hands who are beft able to go through with it. And therefore I fhall leave it to them to determine, whether thou haft fubftantially and folidly proved the Quakers to be Jefuitical, Romifh, Capuchin Frogs, with Mafks on their Faces, put on by the Jefuits, and pulled off by thee, as thou dost confidently undertake to perform in the Title Page. Truly, William, I do confefs those Jefuits are dangerous Fellows, thou hadst beft look about thee, and have a care, for it is verily be lieved by many knowing Perfons, that they have always fet thee on Work no less than the Independents; and have received a better Return from thy Horfe-like Drudgery, tho' thou haft no more Wit to perceive than a Fool has to know by what Hand it is fet on Work. And if they bewitched the Quakers (as thou doft confidently affirm) it is moft certain they have drawn thee into that Feat too. For if it be true, as fome carnal Learned Men aver, that Witches fetch the Materials of their Medicines from Gibbets and Pillories, the Parings of thine Ears have been among their Ingredients, and thou art guilty thereof.

But I fear I begin to be like thee, that is, tedious to no Purpose, for I do not expect that any Thing can do good upon thee, who haft been fo often incorrigible to the Laws; for as the Strength of two Men in their Wits is not fufficient to hold down and quiet one Madman, even fo art thou Proof against all Reason and Light, and therefore I will caft away no more upon thee, but leaving thee to thine own Darknefs, with the old Saying, bid thee twice Goodnight.