Liv. And I vow to thee affection, which nothing can dissolve; neither the length of time, nor malice of fortune, nor distance of place.

Cand. But when shall we be married?

Liv. A good question; for that one delay in wedding bringeth an hundred dangers: in the church we will not be asked, and a licence is too chargeable, and to tarry till to-morrow too tedious *.

Drom. There's a girl stands on pricks till she be married.

Cand. To avoid danger, charge, and tediousness, let us now conclude it in the next church. Liv. Agreed.

Pris. What be these that hasten so to marry? Drom. Marry sir, Accius, son to Memphio, and Silena, Stellio's daughter.

Sper. I am sorry, neighbour, for our purposes are disappointed.

Pris. You see marriage is destiny, made in heaven though consummated on earth.

Ris. How like you them; be they not a pretty couple?

Pris. Yes; God give them joy, seeing in spite of our hearts they must join.

* To understand how Candius and Livia could lawfully be married at all, we must recollect that the canon, which forbids any minister to celebrate matrimony without a licence, or the publication of banns, was not enacted till the year 1603, several years after this play was written. The marriages in Green's "Tu Quoque," and that of Isabella and Francisco, in "Wit without Money," of Beaumont and Fletcher, are celebrated at a very early hour, i. e. about five in the morning (and the latter by torch light), and no licence or banns seem to have been thought necessary in either.

Drom. I am sure you are not angry, seeing things past cannot be recalled; and being witnesses to their contract, will be also well-willers to the match.

Sper. For my part, I wish them well.

Pris. And I; and since there is no remedy, I am glad of it.

Drom. But will you never hereafter take it in dudgeon, but use them as though yourselves had made the marriage.

Pris. Not I.

Sper. Nor I.

Drom. Sir, here two old men are glad that your loves, so long continued, are so happily concluded.

Cand. We thank them, and if they will come to Memphio's house, they shall take part of a

hard dinner. This cottons* and works like wax

in a sow's ear.

Exeunt Cand, and Liv.

Pris. Well, seeing our purposes are prevented, we must lay plots; for Livia shall not have Candius.

Sper. Fear not, for I have sworn that Candius shall not have Livia. But let not us fall out because our children fall in.

Pris. Wilt thou go soon to Memphio's house? Sper. Aye; and if you will let us, that we may see how the young couple bride it, and so we may teach our own. Exeunt.

* "Cottons," succeeds, works.

SCENE II.

Enter LUCIO and HALFPENNY.

Luc. By this time I am sure the wags have played their parts; there rests nothing now for us but to match Accius and Silena.

Half. It would be too good to be true; for we should laugh heartily, and without laughing my spleen would split: but whist*, here comes the

man.

Enter ACCIUS.

And yonder the maid, let us stand aside.

Enter SILENA.

Acc. What means my father to thrust me forth in another boy's coat? I'll warrant 'tis to as much purpose as a hem in the forehead.

Half. There was an ancient proverb knocked in the head.

Acc. I am almost come into my nonage, and yet I never was so far as the proverbs of this city.

Liv. There's a quip for the suburbs of Rochester.

Half. Excellently applied.

Sil. Well, though this furniture make me a sullen dame, yet I hope in mine own I am no saint.

Half. A brave fight is like to be between a cock with a long comb and a hen with a long leg.

* "Whist," silence.

Luc. Nay, her wits are shorter than her legs.
Half. And his comb longer than his wit.

Acc. I have yonder uncovered a fair girl, I'll be so bold as spur her; what might a body call her name?

Sil. I cannot help you at this time, I pray you come again to-morrow.

Half. Ah! marry, sir.

Acc. You need not be so lusty, you are not so honest.

Sil. I cry you mercy, I took you for a jointstool *.

Luc. Here's courting for a conduit or a bakehouset.

Sil. But what are you for a man? Methinks you look as pleaseth God.

Acc. What, do you give me the boots ?

Half. Whither will they? Here be right cobler's

cuts.

Acc. I am taken with a fit of love: have you any mind of marriage?

Sil. I had thought to have ask't

Acc. Upon what acquaintance?

you.

* "I took you for a joint stool." This line, which is also to be found in the Lear of Shakspeare, is a proverbial expression, as has been remarked by Stevens.

+ "Here's courting for a conduit or a bakehouse;" i. e. suited to a conduit, &c. It must be remembered, that in the time of our poet, the lower classes of people fetched the water in pails and other vessels from the conduits, and consequently a considerable assemblage of both sexes was frequently to be seen at such places; Lucio imagines that the courtship of two of these water-bearers probably resembled that of Accius and Silena.

↑ To give the boots, it is almost unnecessary to say, was to inflict a species of torture; but, in a dialogue like this, it is difficult to affix any precise meaning to expressions, purposely said at random.

Sil. Who would have thought it?

Acc. Much in my gascoyns*, more in

house; all my fathers were as white as daisies, as an egg full of meat.

Sil. And all my father's plate is made of crimson velvet.

Acc. That's brave with bread.

Half. These two had wise men to their fathers.

Luc. Why?

Half. Because when their bodies were at work about household stuff, their minds were busied about commonwealth matters.

Acc. This is pure lawn: what call you this, a pretty face to your heir?

Sil. Wisely you have picked a raison out of a frail of figs.

Acc. Take it as you list, you are in your own clothes.

Sil. Saving a reverence, that's a lie: my clothes are better, my father borrowed these.

Acc. Long may he so do; I can tell that these are not mine, if I would blab it like a woman. Sil. I had as leave you should tell them it snowed.

Luc. Come, let us take them off, for we have had the cream of them.

Half. I'll warrant if this be the cream, the milk is very flat; let us join issue with them.

Luc. To have such issue of our bodies, is worse than have an issue in the body. God save you, pretty mouse.

* "Gascoyns," breeches; usually written galligaskins.