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relling about fome parts of their education. I Ralph cannot bear that I must pay for the girl's learning on the spinnet, when I know fhe has no ear. I Bridget have not patience to have my fon whipped because he cannot make verses, when I know he is a blockhead. Pray, fir, inform us, is it abfolutely neceffary that all who wear breeches must be taught to rhyme, all in petticoats to touch an inftrument? Please to interpofe in this and the like cases, to end much folid diftrefs which arifes from trifling causes, as it is common in wedlock, and you will very much oblige us and ours,

RALPH

BRIDGET YOKEFELLOW.

No. 253. TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 1710.

--Pietate gravem ac meritis fi fortè virum quem
Confpexêre, filent, arrectífque auribus aftant.

VIRG. Æn. 1. ver. 155.

If then fome grave and pious man appear,
They hush their, noise, and lend a lift'ning ear.

DRYDEN.

From my own Apartment, November 20.

Extract of the Journal of the Court of Honour, 1710. Die luna vicefimo Novembris, horâ nonâ antemeridianâ.

THE Court being fat, an oath prepared by the Cenfor was adminiftered to the affiftants on his right hand, who were all fworn upon their honour. The women on his 'left hand took the fame oath upon their reputation. Twelve gentlemen of the horfe-guards were impanelled, having unanimously chofen Mr. Alexander Truncheon, who is their right hand man in the troop, for their fore

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man in the jury. Mr. Truncheon immediately drew his fword, and holding it with the point towards his own body, prefented it to the Cenfor. Mr. Bickerstaff received it; and, after having furveyed the breadth of the blade, and sharpness of the point, with more than ordinary attention, returned it to the foreman in a very graceful manner. The rest of the jury, upon the delivery of the fword to their foreman, drew all of them together as one man, and faluted the bench with fuch an air, as fignified. the most refigned fubmiffion to those who commanded them, and the greatest magnanimity to execute what they fhould command.

Mr. Bickerstaff, after having received the compliments on his right hand, caft his eye upon the left, where the whole female jury paid their refpects by a low courtefy,: and by laying their hands upon their mouths. Their forewoman was a profeffed Platonist, that had spent much of her time in exhorting the fex to fet a juft value upon their perfons, and to make the men know themselves.

There followed a profound filence, when at length, after fome recollection, the Cenfor, who continued hitherto uncovered, put on his hat with great dignity; and, after having compofed the brims of it in a manner fuitable to the gravity of his character, he gave the following charge; which was received with filence and attention, that being the only applause which he admits of, or is ever given in his prefence.

The nature of my office, and the folemnity of this occafion, requiring that I fhould open my first feflion with a fpeech, I fhall caft what I have to say under two principal heads.

• Under the first, I fhall endeavour to fhew the neceffity and usefulness of this new erected court; and under the fecond, I fhall give a word of advice and instruction to every constituent part of it.

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As for the firft, it is well obferved by Phædrus, an heathen poet,

Nifi utile eft quod facimus, fruftra eft gloria;

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which is the fame, ladies, as if I fhould fay, It would be of no reputation to me to be prefident of a court which is of no benefit to the public. Now the advantages that may arife to the weal-public from this inftitution will more plainly appear, if we confider what it fuffers for the want of it. Are not our ftreets daily filled with wild pieces of justice, and random penalties? are not crimes undetermined, and reparations difproportioned? How often have we seen the lie punifhed by death, and the liar himfelf deciding his own caufe? nay, not only acting the judge, but the executioner? Have we not known a box on the ear more feverely accounted for than manflaughter? In these extrajudicial proceedings of mankind, an unmannerly jeft is frequently as capital as a premeditated murder.

But the most pernicious circumftance in this cafe is, that the man who fuffers the injury must put himself upon the fame foot of danger with him that gave it, before he can have his juft revenge; fo that the punishment is altogether accidental, and may fall as well upon the innocent as the guilty.

I fhall only mention a cafe which happens frequently among the more polite nations of the world, and which I the rather mention, because both fexes are concerned in it, and which therefore you, gentlemen, and you, ladies of the jury, will the rather take notice of; I mean that great and known cafe of cuckoldom. Suppofing the perfon who has fuffered infults in his dearer and better half; fuppofing, I fay, this perfon fhould resent the injuries done to his tender wife, what is the reparation he may expect? Why, to be used worse than his poor lady, run through the body, and left breathlefs upon the bed of honour. What then, will you on my right hand fay, muft the man do that is affronted? Muft our fides be elbowed, our fhins broken? Muft the wall, or perhaps our mistress, be taken from us? May a man knit his forehead into a frown, tofs up his arm, or pifh at what we say, and must the villain live after it? Is there no redrefs for injured honour? Yes, gentlemen, that is the defign of the judicature we have here eftablifhed.

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No. 253.

A court of confcience, we very well know, was first instituted for the determining of feveral points of property that were too little and trivial for the cognizance of higher courts of juftice. In the fame manner, our court of honour is appointed for the examination of feveral niceties and punctilios that do not pafs for wrongs in the eye of our common laws. But notwithstanding no legiflators of any nation have taken into confideration thefe little circumstances, they are fuch as often lead to crimes big enough for their inspection, though, they come before them too late for their redrefs.

Befides, I appeal to you, ladies, rned to his left-hand) make it more uncaly than its molt luonnin life, that Confefs ingenuously, did you never lofe a morning's devotions, because you could not offer them up from the highest place of the pew? Have you not been in pain, even at a ball, because another has been taken out to dance before you? Do you love any of your friends fo much as thofe that are below you? Or have you any favourites that walk on your right hand? You have anfwered me your looks; I afk no more.

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I come now to the second part of my discourse, which obliges me to addrefs myself in particular to the respective members of the court, in which I shall be very brief.

As for you, gentlemen and ladies, my affiftants and grand juries, I have made choice of you on my right hand, becaufe I know you very jealous of your honour; and you on my left, because I know you very much concerned for the reputation of others; for which reason I expect great exactness and impartiality in your verdicts and judgments.

I muft in the next place addrefs myself to you, gentlemen of the council: you all know, that I have not chofe you for your knowledge in the litigious parts of the law; but because you have all of you formerly fought duels, of which I have reason to think you have repented, as being now fettled in the peaceable ftate of benchers. My advice to you is, only that in your pleadings you will be fhort and expreffive: to which end, you are to banish out of

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your difcourfes all fynonymous terms; and unneceffary multiplications of verbs and nouns. I do moreover forbid you the ufe of the words 'alfo' and 'likewife;' and must further declare, that if I catch any one among you, upon any pretence whatsoever, ufing the particle 'or,' I fhall instantly order him to be ftripped of his gown, and thrown over This is a true copy:

the bar."

N. B. The fequel of the nanes

CHARLES LILLIE:

NO. 254, THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 1710.

Splendide mendax

HOR. Od. 11. lib.

3. ver. 35.

Gloriously falfe

FRANCIS.

From my own Apartment, November 22.

THERE are no books which I more delight in than in travels, especially those that describe remote countries, and give the writer an opportunity of fhewing his parts without incurring any danger of being examined or contradicted. Among all the authors of this kind, our renowned countryman fir John Mandeville has diftinguished himself, by the copioufnefs of his invention, and the greatnefs of his genius. The fecond to fir John I take to have been Ferdinand Mendez Pinto, a person of infinite adventure, and unbounded imagination. One reads the yoyages of thefe two great wits with as much astonishment as the travels of Ulyffes in Homer, or of the Redcrofs knight in Spenfer. All is enchanted ground and fairy land.

I have

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