their fleep every thing that paffes in their imagination. I left the apartment of this female rake, and went into her neighbour's, where there lay a male coquette. He had a bottle of falts hanging over his head, and upon the table by his bed-fide Suckling's Poems, with a little heap of black patches on it. His fnuff-box was within reach on a chair but while I was admiring the difpofition which he made of the several parts of his dress, his flumber seemed interrupted by a pang that was accompanied by a sudden oath, as he turned himself over haftily in his bed. I did not care for feeing him in his nocturnal pains, and left the room. I was no fooner got into another bed-chamber, but I heard very harsh words uttered in a smooth uniform tone. I was amazed to hear fo great a volubility in reproach, and thought it too coherent to be spoken by one afleep; but upon looking nearer, I faw the head-drefs of the perfon who fpoke, which fhewed her to be a female, with a man lying by her fide broad awake, and as quiet as a lamb. I could not but admire his exemplary patience, and discovered by his whole behaviour, that he was then lying under the difcipline of a curtain-lecture. I was entertained in many other places with this kind of nocturnal eloquence, but obferved that most of those whom I found awake, were kept fo either by envy or by love. Some of thefe were fighing, and others curfing, in foliloquy; fome hugged their pillows, and others gnafhed their teeth. The covetous I likewife found to be a very wakeful people. I happened to come into a room where one of them lay fick. His phyfician and his wife were in close whifper near his bed-fide. I overheard the doctor fay to the poor gentlewoman, he cannot poffibly live until five in the morning. She received it like the mistress of a family prepared for all events. At the fame inftant came in a fervant maid, who faid, Madam, the undertaker is below according to your order. The words were scarce out of her mouth, when the fick man cried out with a feeble voice, Pray, doctor, how went bank-stock to-day at 'Change? This melancholy object made me too ferious for for diverting myfelf further this way: but as I was going home, I faw a light in a garret, and entering into it, heard a voice crying, And, hand, stand, band, fanned, tanned.' I concluded him by this, and the furniture of his room, to be a lunatic; but upon liftening a little longer, perceived it was a poet writing an heroic upon the enfuing peace. It was now towards morning, an hour when spirits, witches, and conjurers, are obliged to retire to their own apartments, and feeling the influence of it, I was haftening home, when I faw a man had got half way into a neighbour's houfe. I immediately called to him, and turning my ring, appeared in my proper perfon. There is fomething magifterial in the afpect of the Bickerstaffs, which made him run away in confufion. As I took a turn or two in my own lodging, I was thinking that, old as I was, I need not go to bed alone, but that it was in my power to marry the finest lady in this kingdom, if I would wed her with this ring. For what a figure would fhe that should have it make at a vifit, with fo perfect a knowledge as this would give her of all the fcandal in the town? But instead of endeavouring to difpofe of myself and it in matrimony, I refolved to lend it to my loving friend the author of the Atlantis, to furnish a new Secret History of Secret Memoirs. NO. 244. TUESDAY, OCTOBER 31, 1710. HOR. Ep. 4. lib. 1. ver. 8, What can the fondeft mother wifh for more, Will's Coffee-houfe, October 30. R. WYNNE. Ir is no eafy matter, when people are advancing in any thing, to prevent their going too faft for want of pa tience. tience. This happens in nothing more frequently than in the prosecution of ftudies. Hence it is that we meet crowds who attempt to be eloquent before they can speak. They affect the flowers of rhetoric before they understand the parts of speech. In the ordinary converfation of this town, there are fo many who can, as they call it, talk well, that there is not one in twenty that talks to be understood. This proceeds from an ambition to excel, or, as the term is, to fhine in company. The matter is not to make themselves understood, but admired. They come together with a certain emulation, rather than benevolence. When you fall among fuch companions, the fafe way is to give yourself up, and let the orators declaim for your esteem, and trouble yourself no further. It is faid, that a poet must be born fo; but I think it may be much better said of an orator, especially when we talk of our own town poets and orators; but the town poets are full of rules and laws, the town orators go through thick and thin, and are, forfooth, perfons of fuch eminent natu→ ral parts and knowledge of the world, that they despise all men as unexperienced fcholaftics who wait for an occa fion before they speak, or who speak no more than is neceffary. They had half perfuaded me to go to the tavern the other night, but that a gentleman whispered me, Pry'thee, Ifaac, go with us; there is Tom Varnish will be there, and he is a fellow that talks as well as any mañ in England. I must confefs, when a man expreffes himself well upon any occafion, and his falling into an account of any fubject arifes from a defire to oblige the company, or from fulness of the circumstance itself, fo that his speaking of it at large is occafioned only by the openness of a compa→ nion; I say, in fuch a cafe as this, it is not only pardonable, but agreeable, when a man takes the difcourse to himself; but when you fee a fellow watch for opportunities for being copious, it is exceffively troublesome. A man that stammers, if he has understanding, is to be attended to with patience and good-nature; but he that speaks more than he needs, has no right to fuch an indulgence, The man who has a defect in his speech takes pains to come come to you, while a man of weak capacity with fluency of fpeech triumphs in outrunning you. The ftammerer ftrives to be fit for your company; the loquacious man endeavours to fhew you, you are not fit for his. With thoughts of this kind do I always enter into that man's company who is recommended as a person that talks well; but if I were to choose the people with whom I would spend my hours of converfation, they should be certainly fuch as laboured no farther than to make themfelves readily and clearly apprehended, and would have patience and curiofity to understand me. To have good fenfe, and ability to exprefs it, are the moft effential and neceffary qualities in companions. When thoughts rife in us fit to utter, among familiar friends there needs but very little care in clothing them. Urbanus is, I take it, a man one might live with whole years, and enjoy all the freedom and improvement imaginable, and yet be infenfible of a contradiction to you in all the mistakes you can be guilty of. His great goodwill to his friends has produced in him fuch a-general deference in his difcourfe, that if he differs from you in his fense of any thing, he introduces his own thoughts by fome agreeable circumlocution; or he has often obferved fuch and fuch a circumstance that made him of another opinion. Again, where another would be apt to say, This I am confident of, I may pretend to judge of this matter as well as any body; Urbanus fays, I am verily perfuaded, I believe one may conclude. In a word, there is no man more clear in his thoughts and expreffions than he his, or speaks with greater diffidence. You fhall hardly find one man of any confideration, but you shall obferve one of less confequence, form himself after him. This happens to Urbanus; but the man who steals from him almost every sentiment he utters in a whole week, disguises the theft by carrying it with a quite different air. Umbratilis knows Urbanus's doubtful way of fpeaking proceeds from goodnature and good breeding, and not from uncertainty in his opinion. Umbratilis therefore has no more to do but repeat the thoughts of Urbanus in a pofitive manner, and appear to the undiscerning a wifer man than the perfon from from whom he borrows: but those who know him can fee the fervant in his mafter's habit; and the more he ftruts, the lefs do his clothes appear his own. In converfation, the medium is neither to affect filence or eloquence; not to value our approbation, and to endeavour to excel us who are of your company, are equal injuries. The great enemies therefore to good company, and those who tranfgrefs moft against the laws of equality, which is the life of it, are, the clown, the wit, and the pedant. A clown, when he has fenfe, is confcious of his want of education, and with an awkward bluntnefs, hopes to keep himself in countenance, by overthrowing the use of all polite behaviour. He takes advantage of the reftraint good-breeding lays upon others not to offend him, to trefpafs against them, and is under the man's own fhelter while he intrudes upon him. The fellows of this class are very frequent in the repetition of the words, Rough and manly. When thefe people happen to be by their fortunes of the rank of gentlemen, they defend their other abfurdities by an impertinent courage; and, to help out the defect of their behaviour, add their being dangerous to their being difagreeable. This gentleman, though he difpleafes, profeffes to do fo; and knowing that he dares ftill go on to do fo, is not fo painful a companion as he who will please you against your will, and refolves to be a wit. This man upon all occafions, and whoever he falls in company with, talks in the fame circle, and in the fame round of chat which he has learned at one of the tables of this coffee-house. As poetry is in itself an elevation above ordinary and common fentiments; fo there is no fop so very near a madman in indifferent company as a poetical one. He is not apprehenfive that the generality of the world are intent upon the business of their own fortune and profeffion, and have as little capacity as to enter into matters of ornament or speculation. I remember, at a full table in the city, one of these ubiquitary wits was entertaining the company with a foliloquy, for fo I call it when a man talks to thofe who do not understand him, concerning wit and humour. An honeft gentleman who fat |