CAIUS. By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de vorld; he is not show his face.

HOST. Thou art a Castilian, king Urinal! Hector of Greece, my boy?

CAIUS. I pray you, bear vitness that me have stay six or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come.

SHAL. He is the wiser man, master doctor: he is a curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies; if you should fight, you go against the hair of your professions; is it not true, master Page?

PAGE. Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter, though now a man of peace.

SHAL. Bodykins, master Page, though I now be old, and of the peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make one: though we are justices, and doctors, and churchmen, master Page, we have some salt of our youth in us; we are the sons of women, master Page. PAGE. "T is true, master Shallow.

SHAL. It will be found so, master Page. Master doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home. I am sworn of the peace; you have showed yourself a wise physician, and sir Hugh hath shown himself a wise and patient churchman: you must go with me, master doctor. HOST. Pardon, guest justice: a word, monsieur Mock-water. CAIUS. Mock-vater! vat is dat?

*

HOST. Mock-water, in our English tongue, is valour, bully.

CAIUS. By gar, then I have as much mock-vater as de Englishman.
-Scurvy jack-dog priest! by gar, me vill cut his ears.
HOST. He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.

CAIUS. Clapper-de-claw! vat is dat?

HOST. That is, he will make thee amends.

CAIUS. By gar, me do look, he shall clapper-de-claw me; for, by gar, me vill have it.

HOST. And I will provoke him to 't, or let him wag.

CAIUS. Me tank you vor dat.

HOST. And moreover, bully,-but first, master guest, and master Page, and eke cavalero Slender, go you through the town to Frog

more.

PAGE. Sir Hugh is there, is he?

[Aside to them.

HOST. He is there: see what humour he is in; and I will bring the doctor about by the fields: will it do well?

SHAL. We will do it.

PAGE, SHAL., and SLEN. Adieu, good master doctor.

[Exeunt PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER. CAIUS. By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a jack-anape to Anne Page.

HOST. Let him die: but first† sheath thy impatience; throw cold water on thy choler: go about the fields with me through Frogmore; I will bring thee where mistress Anne Page is, at a farm-house a-feasting; and thou shalt woo her; Cried game," said I well?

(*) First folio omits, word.

(†) First folio omits, but first.

a Cried game,-] The old text has, Cride game, which we mention in hope that some one more fortunate than previous guessers, may shape these apparently senseless words

CAIUS. By gar, me tank you vor dat: by gar, I love you; and I shall procure-a you de good guest, de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients.

HOST. For the which, I will be thy adversary towards Anne Page; said I well?

CAIUS. By gar, 't is good; vell said.

HOST. Let us wag then.

CAIUS. Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.

[Exeunt.

ACT III.

SCENE I.-A Field near Frogmore.

Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE.

EVA. I pray you now, good master Slender's serving-man, and friend Simple py your name, which way have you looked for master Caius, that calls himself Doctor of Physic?

SIM. Marry, sir, the pittie-ward, the park-ward, every way; old Windsor way, and every way but the town way.

EVA. I most fehemently desire you, you will also look that way. SIM. I will, sir.

EVA. 'Pless my soul! how full of cholers I am, and trempling of mind!—I shall be glad, if he have deceived me:-how melancholies I am!—I will knog his urinals about his knave's costard, when I have good opportunities for the 'ork:-'pless my soul!

To shallow rivers, to whose falls (1)
Melodious pirds sing madrigals;
There will we make our peds of roses,
And a thousand fragrant posies.
To shallow-

'Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry.

Melodious pirds sing madrigals;

When as I sat in Pabylon,

And a thousand vagram posies,
To shallow-

SIM. Yonder he is coming, this way, sir Hugh.

EVA. He's welcome:

To shallow rivers, to whose falls

Heaven prosper the right!-What weapons is he?

[Sings.

into the epithet, laughable and contemptuous, which the jolly Host intended to convey. Theobald proposed to substitute Try'd game; Warburton, Cry aim; and Douce, not infelicitously, Cry'd I aim. The conjecture of Mr. Collier's annotator, "curds and cream," is far removed from probability.

a Pittie-ward,-] Supposed to mean petty-ward.

SIM. No weapons, sir: there comes my master, master Shallow, and another gentleman; from Frogmore, over the stile, this way. EVA. Pray you, give me my gown; or else keep it in your arms.

Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, and SLENDER.

SHAL. How now, master parson?

Good-morrow, good sir Hugh. Keep a gamester from the dice, and a good student from his book, and it is wonderful.

SLEN. Ah, sweet Anne Page!

PAGE. 'Save you, good sir Hugh!

EVA. 'Pless you from his mercy sake, all of you!

SHAL. What! the sword and the word! do you study them both, master parson?

PAGE. And youthful still, in your doublet and hose, this raw rheumatic day?.

EVA. There is reasons and causes for it.

PAGE. We are come to you, to do a good office, master parson.
EVA. Fery well: what is it?

PAGE. Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who belike, having received wrong by some person, is at most odds with his own gravity and patience, that ever you saw.

SHAL. I have lived fourscore years, and upward; I never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning, so wide of his own respect. EVA. What is he?

PAGE. I think you know him; master doctor Caius, the renowned French physician.

EVA. Got's will, and his-Passion of my heart! I had as lief you would tell me of a mess of porridge.

PAGE. Why?

EVA. He has no more knowledge in Hippocrates and Galen,-and he is a knave pesides; a cowardly knave, as you would desires to pe acquainted withal.

PAGE. I warrant you, he's the man should fight with him.

SLEN. O, Sweet Anne Page!

SHAL. It appears so, by his weapons: keep them asunder; here comes doctor Caius.

Enter Host, CAIUS, and RUGBY.

PAGE. Nay, good master parson, keep in your weapon.

SHAL. So do you, good master doctor.

HOST. Disarm them, and let them question; let them keep their limbs whole, and hack our English.

CAIUS. I pray you, let-a me speak a vord vit your ear: verefore vill you not meet-a me?

EVA. Pray you, use your patience: in good time.

CAIUS. By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape.

EVA. [Aside to CAIUS.] Pray you, let us not be laughing-stogs to other men's humours; I desire you in friendship, and I will one way or other make you amends:-[Aloud.] I will knog your urinal about

your knave's cogscomb, for missing your meetings and appoint

ments.a

CAIUS. Diable!-Jack Rugby, mine Host de Jarterre, have I not stay for him, to kill him? have I not, at de place I did appoint?

EVA. As I am a Christians soul, now, look you, this is the place appointed; I'll be judgment py mine Host of the Garter.

HOST. Peace, I say, Guallia and Gaul, French and Welsh; soulcurer and body-curer.

CAIUS. Ay, dat is very good! excellent!

HOST. Peace, I say; hear mine Host of the Garter. Am I politic? am I subtle? am I a Machiavel? Shall I lose my doctor? no; he gives me the potions, and the motions. Shall I lose my parson? my priest? my sir Hugh? no; he gives me the proverbs and the noverbs. Give me thy hand, terrestrial; so:-give me thy hand, celestial; so.Boys of art, I have deceived you both; I have directed you to wrong places: your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be the issue.-Come, lay their swords to pawn:— follow me, lad of peace; follow, follow, follow.

SHAL. Trust me, a mad Host.-Follow, gentlemen, follow.
SLEN. O, sweet Anne Page!

[Exeunt SHALLOW, SLENDER, PAGE, and Host. CAIUS. Ha! do I perceive dat? have you make-a de sot of us? ha, ha!

EVA. This is well; he has made us his vlouting-stog.-I desire you, that we may pe friends; and let us knog our prains together, to pe revenge on this same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the Host of the Garter.

CAIUS. By gar, vit all my heart; he promise to bring me vere is Anne Page: by gar, he deceive me too.

EVA. Well, I will smite his noddles:-pray you, follow. [Exeunt.

SCENE II.-The Street in Windsor.

Enter MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN.

MRS. PAGE. Nay, keep your way, little gallant; you were wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader: whether had you rather, lead mine eyes, or eye your master's heels?

ROB. I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man, than follow him like a dwarf.

MRS. PAGE. O you are a flattering boy; now, I see, you'll be a

courtier.

Enter FORD.

FORD. Well met, mistress Page; whither go you?

* For missing your meetings and appointments.] These words, from the quarto, are omitted in the folio; another instance of strange neglect in the compilers of that volume, as without them the answer of Caius loses its point.

Give me thy hand, terrestrial; so:] These words also are found only in the quarto.

MRS. PAGE. Truly, sir, to see your wife: is she at home? FORD. Ay, and as idle as she may hang together, for want of company; I think, if your husbands were dead, you two would marry. MRS. PAGE. Be sure of that,-two other husbands.

FORD. Where had you this pretty weather-cock?

MRS. PAGE. I cannot tell what the dickens his name is, my husband had him of: what do you call your knight's name, sirrah? ROB. Sir John Falstaff.

FORD. Sir John Falstaff!

MRS. PAGE. He, he; I can never hit on 's name.-There is such a league between my good man and he!-Is your wife at home, indeed? FORD. Indeed, she is.

MRS. PAGE. By your leave, sir;-I am sick, till I see her.

[Exeunt MRS. PAGE and ROBIN. FORD. Has Page any brains? hath he any eyes? hath he any thinking? Sure, they sleep; he hath no use of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty mile, as easy as a cannon will shoot point-blank twelve score. He pieces out his wife's inclination; he gives her folly motion and advantage: and now she's going to my wife, and Falstaff's boy with her. A man may hear this shower sing in the wind;—and Falstaff's boy with her!-Good plots!—they are laid and our revolted wives share damnation together. Well; I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck the borrowed veil of modesty from the so-seeming mistress Page, divulge Page himself for a secure and wilful Actæon; and to these violent proceedings all my neighbours shall cry aim. [Clock strikes.] The clock gives me my cue, and my assurance bids me search; there I shall find Falstaff: I shall be rather praised for this, than mocked; for it is as positive as the earth is firm, that Falstaff is there: I will go.

:

Enter PAGE, SHALLOW, SLENDER, Host, SIR HUGH EVANS,
CAIUS, and RUGBY.

SHAL., PAGE, &c. Well met, master Ford.

FORD. Trust me, a good knot: I have good cheer at home; and, I pray you, all go with me.

SHAL. I must excuse myself, master Ford.

SLEN. And so must I, sir; we have appointed to dine with mistress Anne, and I would not break with her for more money than I'll speak of.

SHAL. We have lingered about a match between Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we shall have our answer.

SLEN. I hope, I have your good will, father Page.

PAGE. You have, master Slender; I stand wholly for you:-but my wife, master doctor, is for you altogether.

CAIUS. Ay, by gar: and de maid is love-a me; my nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush.

HOST. What say you to young master Fenton? he capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he speaks holyday, he smells