faith, and find any body in the house, here will be an old abusing of God's patience and the king's English. Rug I'll go watch. Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. [Exit Rugby.] An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house withal, and, I warrant you, no tell-tale nor no breedbate: his worst fault is, that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish that way: but nobody but has his fault; but let that pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is? Sim. Ay, for fault of a better. Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover's paring-knife? 21 Sim. No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee face, with a little yellow beard, a Cain-coloured beard. Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not? Sim. Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall a man of his hands as any is between this and his head; he hath fought with a warrener. Quick. How say you? O, I should remember him: does he not hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait? 31 Sim. Yes, indeed, does he. Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell Master Parson Evans I will do what I can for your master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish Re-enter RUGBY. Rug. Out, alas! here comes my master. Quick. We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young man; go into this closet: he will not stay long. [Shuts Simple in the closet.] What, John Rugby! John! what, John, I say! Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt he be not well, that he comes not home. 43 [Singing] And down, down, adown-a, &c. Enter DOCTOR CAIUS. Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like des toys. Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boitier vert, a box, a green-a box: do intend vat I speak? a green-a box. [Writes. Quick. [Aside to Simple] I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been throughly moved, you should have heard him so loud and so melancholy. But notwithstanding, man, I'll do you your master what good I can: and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my master,-I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself, Sim. [Aside to Quickly] 'Tis a great charge to come under one body's hand. Quick. [Aside to Simple] Are you avised o' that? you shall find it a great charge: and to be up early and down late; but notwithstanding,— to tell you in your ear; I would have no words of it, my master himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page: but notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind, that's neither here nor there. Caius. You jack'nape, give-a this letter to Sir Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in de park; and I will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make. You may Quick. Ay, forsooth; I'll fetch it you. [Aside] be gone; it is not good you tarry here. By gar, I am glad he went not in himself; if he had I will cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not found the young man, he would have been horn-have a stone to throw at his dog. [Exit Simple. mad. Caius. Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. 52 Quick. Alas, he speaks but for his friend. 120 Cains. It is no matter-a ver dat: do not you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Jarteer to measure our weapon. By gar, I will myself have Anne Page. Caius. Oui mette le au mon pocket: depe- Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby. Come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to the court. 62 Rug. 'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch. Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long. Od's me! Qu'ai-j'oublie dere is some simples in my closet, dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind. Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We must give folks leave to prate: what, the good-jer! Caius. Rugby, come to the court with me. By gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door. Follow my heels, Rugby. [Exeunt Caius and Rugby. Quick. You shall have An fool's-head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven. Fent. [Within] Who's within there? ho! Quick. Who's there, I trow! Come near the house, I pray you. 141 Enter FENTON. Fent. How now, good woman! how dost thou? Quick. The better that it pleases your good worship to ask. Fent. What news? how does pretty Mistress Anne? Quick. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it. 151 Fent. Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? shal! I not lose my suit? Quick. Troth, sir, all is in his hands above: but notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book, she loves you. Have not your worship a wart above your eye? Fent. Yes, marry, have I; what of that? Quick. Well, thereby hangs a tale: good faith, it is such another Nan; but, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread: we had an hour's talk of that wart. I shall never laugh but in that maid's company! But indeed she is given too much to allicholy and musing: but for you-well, go to. Fent. Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, there's money for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: if thou seest her before me, commend me. Quick. Will I?' faith, that we will; and I will tell your worship more of the wart the next time we have confidence; and of other wocers. Fent. Well, farewell; I am in great haste now. Or any kind of light, With all his might For thee to fight, JOHN FALSTAFF.' What a Herod of Jewry is this! O wicked, wicked world! One that is well-nigh worn to pieces with age to show himself a young gallant! What an unweighed behaviour hath this Flemish drunkard picked-with the devil's name !-out of my conversation, that he dares in this manner assay me? Why, he hath not been thrice in my company! What should I say to him? I was then frugal of my mirth: Heaven forgive me! Why, I'll exhibit a bill in the parliament for the putting down of men. How shall I be revenged on him? for revenged I will be, as sure as his guts are made of puddings. Enter MISTRESS Ford. Mrs Ford. Mistress Page! trust me, I was going to your house. Mrs Page. And, trust me, I was coming to you. You look very ill. Mrs Ford. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to show to the contrary. Mrs Page. Faith, but you do, in my mind. Mrs Ford. Well, I do then; yet I say I could show you to the contrary. O Mistress Page, give me some counsel! Mrs Page. What's the matter, woman? Mrs Ford. O woman, if it were not for one trifling respect, I could come to such honour! Mrs Page. Hang the trifle, woman! take the honour. What is it? dispense with trifles; what is it? Mrs Ford. If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment or so, I could be knighted. 50 Mrs Page. What? thou liest! Sir Alice Ford! These knights will hack; and so thou shouldst not alter the article of thy gentry. Mrs Ford. We burn daylight: here, read, read; perceive how I might be knighted. I shall think the worse of fat men, as long as I have an Quick. Farewell to your worship. [Exit Fen-eye to make difference of men's liking: and yet ton.] Truly, an honest gentleman: but Anne loves him not; for I know Anne's mind as well as another does. Out upon't! what have I forgot? [Exit. 180 ACT II. SCENE I. Before PAGE's house. Enter MISTRESS PAGE, with a letter. Mrs Page. What, have I scaped love-letters in the holiday-time of my beauty, and am I now a subject for them? Let me see. [Reads. *Ask me no reason why I love you; for though Love use Reason for his physician, he admits him not for his counsellor. You are not young, no more am I; go to then, there's sympathy: you are merry, so am I; ha, ha! then there's more sympathy: you love sack, and so do I; Would you desire better sympathy? Let it suffice thee, Mistress Page, at the least, if the love of soldier can suffice,-that I love thee. I will not say, pity me; 'tis not a soldier-like phrase: but I say, love me. By me, Thine own true knight, By day or night, he would not swear; praised women's modesty; and gave such orderly and well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness, that I would have sworn his disposition would have gone to the truth of his words; but they do no more adhere and keep place together than the Hundredth Psalm to the tune of Green Sleeves.' What tempest, I trow, threw this whale, with so many tuns of oil in his belly, ashore at Windsor? How shall I be revenged on him? I think the best way were to entertain him with hope, till the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his own grease. Did you ever hear the like? 70 Mrs Page. Letter for letter, but that the name of Page and Ford differs! To thy great comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, here's the twin-brother of thy letter: but let thine inherit first; for, I protest, mine never shall. warrant he hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for different names,-sure, more, I and these are of the second edition: he will print them, out of doubt; for he cares not what he puts into the press, when he would put us two. I had rather be a giantess, and lie under Mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty lascivious turtles ere one chaste man. THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR. Mrs Ford. Why, this is the very same; the Mrs Page. Nay, I know not: it makes me Mrs Ford. 'Boarding,' call you it? I'll be Mrs Page. So will I: if he come under my Mrs Page. Why, look where he comes; and my good man too: he's as far from jealousy as I am from giving him cause; and that I hope is an unmeasurable distance. 110 Mrs Ford. You are the happier woman. Pist. Hope is a curtal dog in some affairs: Sir John affects thy wife. Ford. Why, sir, my wife is not young. and poor, Both young and old, one with another, Ford; 120 Pist. With liver burning hot. Prevent, or go Like Sir Acteon he, with Ringwood at thy heels: Ford. What name, sir? Pist. The horn, I say. Farewell. Take heed, have open eye, for thieves do foot by night: Take heed, ere summer comes or cuckoo-birds do Away, Sir Corporal Nym! 131 Ford. [Aside] I will be patient; I will find [Exit. out this. Nym. [To Page] And this is true; I like not the humour of lying. some humours: I should have borne the humourHe hath wronged me in ed letter to her; but I have a sword and it shall bite upon my necessity. He loves your wife; there's the short and the long. My name is Corporal Nym; I speak and I avouch; 'tis true: my name is Nym and Falstaff loves your wife. Adieu. I love not the humour of bread and cheese, and there's the humour of it. Adieu. Page. "The humour of it,' quoth a'! here's a [Exit. 141 fellow frights English out of his wits. Ford. I will seek out Falstaff. [ACT II. Ford. If I do find it: well. Page. I will not believe such a Cataian, though the priest o' the town commended him for a true man. Ford. 'Twas a good sensible fellow: well. 150 [Mrs Page and Mrs Ford come forward. Mrs Page. Whither go you, George? Hark How now, sweet Frank! why art you. Mrs Ford. thy head. Now, will you go, Mistress Page? thought on her: she'll fit it. Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY. me, I Mrs Page. You are come to see my daughter good Mistress Anne? 170 Mrs Page. Go in with us and see; we have an hour's talk with you. [Exeunt Mrs Page, Mrs Ford, and Mrs Quickly. Page. How now, Master Ford! Ford. You heard what this knave told me, you not? did Page. Yes: and you heard what the other told me? Ford. Do you think there is truth in them? in his intent towards our wives are a yoke of Page. Hang 'em, slaves! I do not think the knight would offer it: but these that accuse him of service. his discarded men; very rogues, now they be out Ford. Were they his men? Page. Marry, were they. Ford. I like it never the better for that. Does he lie at the Garter? ΤΟΙ tend this voyage towards my wife, I would turn Garter comes: there is either liquor in his pate or How now, mine host! Shal. I follow, mine host, I follow. even and twenty, good Master Page! Master Good hand. Page. I never heard such a drawling, affecting Page, will you go with us? we have sport in rogue. Host. Tell him, cavaleiro-justice; tell him, bully-rook. Shal. Sir, there is a fray to be fought between Sir Hugh the Welsh priest and Caius the French doctor. Ford. with you. 210 Good mine host o' the Garter, a word [Drawing him aside. Host. What sayest thou, my bully-rook? Shal. [To Page] Will you go with us to behold it? My merry host hath had the measuring of their weapons; and, I think, hath appointed them contrary places; for, believe me, I hear the parson is no jester. Hark, I will tell you what our sport shall be. (They converse apart. Host. Hast thou no suit against my knight, my guest-cavaleire? 221 Ford. None, I protest: but I'll give you a pottle of burnt sack to give me recourse to him and tell him my name is Brook; only for a jest. Host. My hand, bully; thou shalt have egress and regress:-said I well?-and thy name shall be Brook. It is a merry knight. Will you go, †An-heires? Shal. Have with you, mine host. Page. I have heard the Frenchman hath good skill in his rapier. 231 Shal. Tut, sir, I could have told you more. In these times you stand on distance, your passes, stoccadoes, and I know not what: 'tis the Leart, Master Page: 'tis here, 'tis here. I have seen the time, with my long sword I would have made you four tall fellows skip like rats. Host. Here, boys, here, here! shall we wag? Page. Have with you. I had rather hear them acold than fight. 240 [Exeunt Host, Shal., and Page. Ford. Though Page be a secure fool, and stands so firmly on his wife's frailty, yet I cannot put off my opinion so easily: she was in his company at Page's house; and what they made there, I know not. Well, I will look further into 't: and I have a disguise to sound Falstaff. If I find her honest, I lose not my labour; if she be otherwise, 'tis labour well bestowed, [Exit. honour! Why, thou unconfinable baseness, it is as much as I can do to keep the terms of my honour precise: I, I, I myself sometimes, leaving the fear of God on the left hand and hiding mine honour in my necessity, am fain to shuffle, to hedge and to lurch; and yet you, rogue, will ensconce your rags, your cat-a-mountain looks, your red-lattice phrases, and your bold-beating oaths, under the shelter of your honour! You will not do it, you! 30 Pist. I do relent: what would thou more of man? Fal. Two thousand, fair woman: and I'll vouchsafe thee the hearing. Quick. There is one Mistress Ford, sir:-I pray, come a little nearer this ways:-I myself dwell with Master Doctor Caius, Fal. Well, on: Mistress Ford, you say,Quick. Your worship says very true: pray your worship, come a little nearer this ways. 50 Fal. I warrant thee, nobody hears; mine own people, mine own people. Quick. Are they so? make them his servants! God bless them and Fal. Well, Mistress Ford; what of her? Quick. Why, sir, she's a good creature. Lord, Lord! your worship's a wanton! Well, heaven forgive you and all of us, I pray! Fal. Mistress Ford; come, Mistress Ford,Quick. Marry, this is the short and the long of it; you have brought her into such a canaries as 'tis wonderful. The best courtier of them all, when the court lay at Windsor, could never have brought her to such a canary. Yet there has been knights, and lords, and gentlemen, with their coaches, I warrant you, coach after coach, letter after letter, gift after gift; smelling so sweetly, all musk, and so rushling, I warrant you, in silk and gold; and in such alligant terms; and in such wine and sugar of the best and the fairest, that would have won any woman's heart; and, I warrant you, they could never get an eye-wink of her: I had myself twenty angels given me this morning; but I defy all angels, in any such sort, as they say, but in the way of honesty: and, I warrant you, they could never get her so much as sip on a cup with the proudest of them all: and yet there has been earls, nay, which is more, pensioners; but, I warrant you, all is one with her. 80 Fal. But what says she to me? be brief, my good she-Mercury. Quick. Marry, she hath received your letter, for the which she thanks you a thousand times; THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR. and she gives you to notify that her husband Fal. Ten and eleven? Quick. Ay, forsooth; and then you may come and see the picture, she says, that you wot of: Master Ford, her husband, will be from home. Alas! the sweet woman leads an ill life with him: he's a very jealousy man: she leads a very frampold life with him, good heart. Woman, commend Fal. Ten and eleven. Quick. Why, you say well. But I have an- Fal. Not I, I assure thee: setting the at- III Quick. Blessing on your heart for't! Fal. But, I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford's wife and Page's wife acquainted each other how they love me? Quick. That were a jest indeed! they have not so little grace, I hope: that were a trick in deed! But Mistress Page would desire you to send her your little page, of all loves: her husband has a marvellous infection to the little page; and truly Master Page is an honest man. wife in Windsor leads a better life than she does: do what she will, say what she will, take all, pay Never a all, go to bed when she list, rise when she list, all is as she will: and truly she deserves it; for if there be a kind woman in Windsor, she is one. You must send her your page; no remedy. Fal. Why, I will. Quick. Nay, but do so, then: and, look you, he may come and go between you both; and in any case have a nay-word, that you may know one another's mind, and the boy never need to understand any thing; for 'tis not good that children should know any wickedness: old folks, you know, have discretion, as they say, and know the world. Fal. Fare thee well: commend me to them both: there's my purse; I am yet thy debtor. Boy, go along with this woman. [Exeunt Mistress Quickly and Robin.] This news distracts me! Pist. This punk is one of Cupid's carriers: Clap on more sails; pursue; up with your fights: Give fire: she is my prize, or ocean whelm them all! Fal. Sayest thou so, old Jack? go thy ways; I'll make more of thy old body than I have done. [Exit. Will they yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after the expense of so much money, be now a gainer? Good body, I thank thee. Let them say 'tis grossly done; so it be fairly done, no matter. Enter BARDOLPH. [ACT 11. below would fain speak with you, and be ac- liquor. Ah, ha! Mistress Ford and Mistress 160 Fal. And you, sir! Would you speak with me? Ford. I make bold to press with so little paration upon you. pre What's your will? [Exit Bardolph. Give us leave, drawer. quaintance of you. charge you; for I must let you understand I troubles me: if you will help to bear it, Sir John, the hearing. glad to be your servant. be brief with you,-and you have been a man long known to me, though I had never so good Ford. Sir, I hear you are a scholar,-I will means, as desire, to make myself acquainted with you. I shall discover a thing to you, wherein I follies, as you hear them unfolded, turn another must very much lay open mine own imperfection: but, good Sir John, as you have one eye upon my with a reproof the easier, sith you yourself know into the register of your own; that I may pass how easy it is to be such an offender. her husband's name is Ford. Fal. Very well, sir; proceed. Fal. Well, sir. 200 with a doting observance; engrossed opportuniFord. I have long loved her, and, I protest ties to meet her; fee'd every slight occasion that to you, bestowed much on her; followed her only bought many presents to give her, but have given largely to many to know what she would could but niggardly give me sight of her; not of all occasions. But whatsoever I have merited, have given; briefly, I have pursued her as love either in my mind or in my means, meed, I am hath pursued me; which hath been on the wing sure, I have received none; unless experience be a jewel that I have purchased at an infinite rate, and that hath taught me to say this: 'Love like a shadow flies when substance love pursues; Bard. Sir John, there's one Master Brook Pursuing that that flies, and flying what pursues. |