Fent. No, heaven so speed me in my time to I told you, sir, my daughter is dispos'd of.

come!

Albeit, I will confess, thy father's wealth
Was the first motive that I woo'd thee, Anne:
Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value
Than stamps in gold, or sums in sealed bags;
And 'tis the very riches of thyself
That now I aim at.

Anne. Gentle master Fenton,
Yet seek my father's love: still seek it, sir:
If opportunity and humble suit
Cannot attain it, why then-Hark you hither.
[They converse apart.

Enter Shallow, Slender, and Mrs. Quickly. Shal. Break their talk, mistress Quickly; my kinsman shall speak for himself.

Slen. I'll make a shaft or a bolt on't: slid, 'tis but venturing.

Shal. Be not dismay'd.

Slen. No, she shall not dismay me: I care not for that, but that I am afeard.

Quick. Hark ye; master Slender would speak a word with you.

Anne. I come to him.-This is my father's choice.
O, what a world of vile ill-favour'd faults
Looks handsome in three hundred pounds a year!
Aside.
Quick. And how does good master Fenton ?
Pray you, a word with you.

Shal. She's coming; to her, coz. O boy, thou

hadst a father!

Slen. I had a father, mistress Anne ;-my uncle can tell you good jests of him :-Pray you, uncle, tell mistress Anne the jest, how my father stole two geese out of a pen, good uncle.

Shal. Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you.
Slen. Ay, that I do; as well as I love any woman

in Glocestershire.

Shal. He will maintain you like a gentlewoman. Slen. Ay, that I will, come cut and long-tail, under the degree of a squire.

Shal. He will make you a hundred and fifty pounds jointure.

Anne. Good master Shallow, let him woo for

himself.

Shal. Marry, I thank you for it; I thank you for that good comfort. She calls you, coz: I'll leave

you.

Anne. Now, master Slender.

Slen. Now, good mistress Anne.
Anne. What is your will?

Slen. My will? od's heartlings, that's a pretty jest, indeed! I ne'er made my will yet, I thank heaven; I am not such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise.

Anne. I mean, master Slender, what would you with me?

Fent. Nay, master Page, be not impatient.
Mrs. Page. Good master Fenton, come not to

my child.

Page. She is no match for you.

Fent. Sir, will you hear me?
Page.

No, good master Fenton.
Come, master Shallow: come, son Slender; in:-
Knowing my mind, you wrong me, master Fenton.
[Exeunt Page, Shallow, and Slender.
Quick. Speak to mistress Page.

Fent. Good mistress Page, for that I love your daughter

In such a righteous fashion as I do,

Perforce, against all checks, rebukes, and manners,
And not retire: let me have your good will.
I must advance the colours of my love,

Anne. Good mother, do not marry me to yond
fool.

Mrs. Page. I mean it not; I seek you a better husband.

Quick. That's my master, master doctor.
Anne. Alas, I had rather be set quick i' the earth,
and bowl'd to death with turnips.

Mrs. Page. Come, trouble not yourself: good
master Fenton,
I will not be your friend, nor enemy:
My daughter will I question how she loves you,
And as I find her, so am I affected;
Till then, farewell, sir :-She must needs go in
Her father will be angry.

[Exeunt Mrs. Page and Anne. Fent. Farewell, gentle mistress; farewell, Nan. Quick. This is my doing now ;-Nay, said I, will you cast away your child on a fool, and a physician? Look on master Fenton :-this is my doing.

Fent. I thank thee; and I pray thee, once to
Give my sweet Nan this ring: there's for thy pains.
night
[Exit.

kind heart he hath: a woman would run through
Quick. Now heaven send thee good fortune! A
would my master had mistress Anne; or I would
fire and water for such a kind heart. But yet, I
master Slender had her; or, in sooth, I would
master Fenton had her: I will do what I can for
them all three; for so I have promised, and I'll be
Fenton. Well, I must of another errand to sir John
as good as my word; but speciously for master
Falstaff from my two mistresses; what a beast am
I to slack' it!
[Exit.

SCENE V. A room in the Garter Inn. Enter
Falstaff and Bardolph.

Fal. Bardolph, I say,—
Bard. Here, sir.

Fal. Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in't. [Exit Bard.] Have I lived to be carried in a basket, Slen. Truly, for mine own part, I would little or like a barrow of butcher's offal; and to be thrown nothing with you: your father, and my uncle, have into the Thames? Well; if I be served such anmade motions: if it be my luck, so: if not, happy other trick, I'll have my brains ta'en out, and butman be his dole! They can tell you how things ter'd, and give them to a dog for a new year's gift. go, better than I can: you may ask your father; here he comes.

The rogues slighted me into the river with as little
remorse as they would have drown'd a bitch's
blind puppies, fifteen i' the litter and you may
know by my size, that I have a kind of alacrity in
sinking; if the bottom were as deep as hell, I should
down. I had been drowned, but that the shore was
shelvy and shallow; a death that I abhor; for the
water swells a man; and what a thing should I

Come poor or rich. (3) Lot. (4) Specially.
Neglect. (6) Pity.

have been, when I had been swelled! I should have been a mountain of mummy.

Re-enter Bardolph, with the wine.

Ford. What, while you were there?
Fal. While I was there.

Ford. And did he search for you, and could not find you?

Fal. You shall hear. As good luck would have

Bard. Here's mistress Quickly, sir, to speak it, comes in one mistress Page; gives intelligence with you. Fal. Come, let me pour in some sack to the Thames water; for my belly's as cold, as if I had swallowed snow-balls for pills to cool the reins. Call her in.

of Ford's approach; and, by her invention, and Ford's wife's distraction, they conveyed me into a buck-basket.

Bard. Come in, woman.

Enter Mrs. Quickly.

Quick. By your leave; I cry you mercy: give your worship good-morrow.

Fal. Take away these chalices: go brew me pottle of sack finely.

Bard. With eggs, sir?

a

Fal. Simple of itself; I'll no pullet-sperm in my brewage.-Exit Bardolph.]-How now?

Quick. Marry, sir, I come to your worship from mistress Ford.

I

Fal. Mistress Ford! I have had ford enough: was thrown into the ford: I have my belly full of ford.

Ford. A buck-basket!

Fal. By the Lord, a buck-basket: rammed me in with foui shirts and smocks, socks, foul stockings, and greasy napkins; that, master Brook, there was the rankest compound of villanous smell, that ever offended nostril.

Ford. And how long lay you there?

Fal. Nay, you shall hear, master Brook, what I have suffered to bring this woman to evil for your good. Being thus crammed in the basket, a couple of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were called forth by their mistress, to carry me in the name of foul clothes to Datchet-lane: they took me on their shoulders; met the jealous knave, their master, in the door; who asked them once or twice what they had in their basket. I quaked for fear, lest the lunatic knave would have searched it; but Fate ordaining he should be a cuckold, held his hand. Quick. Alas the day! good heart, that was not Well: on went he for a search, and away went I her fault; she does so take on with her men; they for foul clothes. But mark the sequel, master Brook: mistook their erection. I suffered the pangs of three several deaths: first, Fal. So did I mine, to build upon a foolish an intolerable fright, to be detected with a jealous woman's promise. rotten-bell-wether: next, to be compassed like a Quick. Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it good bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to would yearn your heart to see it. Her husband point, heel to head: and then, to be stopped in, like goes this morning a birding; she desires you once a strong distillation, with stinking clothes that fretimore to come to her between eight and nine: I must ted in their own grease: think of that,-a man of carry her word quickly: she'll make you amends, my kidney,-think of that; that am as subject to I warrant you. heat as butter; a man of continual dissolution and Fal. Well, I will visit her: tell her so; and bid thaw; it was a miracle to 'scape suffocation. And her think, what a man is: let her consider his in the height of this bath, when I was more than frailty, and then judge of my merit. half stewed in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be thrown into the 'Thames, and cooled, glowing hot, in that surge, like a horse-shoe; think of that;hissing hot,-think of that, master Brook.

Quick. I will tell her.

Fal. Do so. Between nine and ten, say'st thou
Quick. Eight and nine, sir.

Fal. Well, be gone: I will not miss her.
Quick. Peace be with you, sir!

[Exit. Fal. I marvel, I hear not of master Brook; he sent me word to stay within: I like his money well. O, here he comes.

Enter Ford.

Ford. Bless you, sir! Fal. Now, master Brook; you come to know what hath passed between me and Ford's wife? Ford. That, indeed, sir John, is my business. Fal. Master Brook, I will not lie to you; I was at her house the hour she appointed me. Ford. And how speed you, sir?

Ford. In good sadness, sir, I am sorry that for my sake you have suffered all this. My suit then is desperate; you'll undertake her no more.

Fal. Master Brook, I will be thrown into Etna, as I have been into the Thames, ere I will leave her thus. Her husband is this morning gone a birding: I have received from her another embassy of meeting; 'twixt eight and nine is the hour, master Brook.

Ford. 'Tis past eight already, sir.

Fal. Is it? I will then address me to my appointment. Come to me at your convenient leisure, and you shall know how I speed; and the conclusion shall be crowned with your enjoying her: adieu. You shall have her, master Brook; master Brook, you shall cuckold Ford.

[Exit.

Fal. Very ill-favouredly, master Brook. Ford. How so, sir? Did she change her deter- Ford. Hum! ha! is this a vision? is this a dream? mination? do I sleep? Master Ford, awake; awake, master Fal. No, master Brook; but the peaking cornu- Ford; there's a hole made in your best coat, master to, her husband, master Brook, dwelling in a con- Ford. This 'tis to be married! this 'tis to have linen, tinual 'larum of jealousy, comes me in the instant and buck-baskets!-Well, I will proclaim myself of our encounter, after we had embraced, kissed, what I am: I will now take the lecher; he is at my protested, and, as it were, spoke the prologue of house he cannot 'scape me; 'tis impossible he our comedy; and at his heels a rabble of his com- should; he cannot creep into a half-penny purse, panions, thither provoked and instigated by his dis-mor into a pepper-box: but, lest the devil that temper, and, forsooth, to search his house for his guides him should aid him, I will search impossible wife's love. places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, yet to

(1) Cups.

(2) Bilboa, where the best blades are made.

(3) Seriousness.

(4) Make myself ready

SCENE I.-The Street. Enter Mrs. Page, Mrs.
Quickly, and William.

Mrs. Page. Is he at master Ford's already, think'st thou ?

Will. Genitive,-horum, harum, horum.
Quick. 'Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on
her!-never name her, child, if she be a whore.
Eva. For shame, 'oman.

Quick. You do ill to teach the child such words: he teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do fast enough of themselves; and to call horum:fie upon you!

Quick. Sure he is by this; or will be presently: Eva. 'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no but truly, he is very courageous' mad, about his understandings for thy cases, and the numbers of throwing into the water. Mistress Ford desires you the genders? "Thou art as foolish Christian creato come suddenly. tures as I would desires.

Mrs. Page. I'll be with her by and by; I'll but bring my young man here to school: look, where his master comes; 'tis a playing-day, I see.

Mrs. Page. Pr'ythee, hold thy peace. Eva. Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns.

Will. Forsooth, I have forgot.

Eva. It is ki, ka, cod; if you forget your kies, your kas, and your cods, you must be preeches. Go your ways, and play, go.

Mrs. Page. He is a better scholar than I thought he was.

Eva. He is a good sprag3 memory. Farewell, mistress Page.

Mrs. Page. Adieu, good sir Hugh. [Exit Sir Hugh.] Get you home, boy.-Come, we stay

Eva. Come hither, William; hold up your too long. head; come.

[Exeunt.

Mrs. Page. Come on, sirrah; hold up your SCENE II-A room in Ford's house. Enter head; answer your master, be not afraid.

Eva. William, how many numbers is in nouns?
Will. Two.

Quick. Truly, I thought there had been one
number more; because they say, od's nouns.
Eva. Peace your tattlings. What is fair, Wil-

liam ?

Falstaff and Mrs. Ford.

Fal. Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up
my sufferance: I see, you are obsequious in your
love, and I profess requital to a hair's breadth; not
only, mistress Ford, in the simple office of love, but
in all the accoutrement, complement, and ceremo-
ny of it.
But are you sure of your husband now?
Mrs. Ford. He's a birding, sweet sir John.
Mrs. Page. [Within.] What hoa, gossip Ford!
what hoa!

Mrs. Ford. Step into the chamber, sir John.
[Exit Falstaff.

Enter Mrs. Page.

Mrs. Page. How now, sweetheart? who's at home beside yourself?

Mrs. Ford. Why, none but mine own people.
Mrs. Page. Indeed?

Mrs. Ford. No, certainly;-speak louder. [Aside.
Mrs. Page. Truly, I am so glad you have no-

body here.

Mrs. Ford. Why?

his old luness again: he so takes on yonder with Mrs. Page. Why, woman, your husband is in my husband; so rails against all married mankind; so curses all Eve's daughters, of what complexion soever; and so buffets himself on the forehead, ever yet beheld, seemed but tameness, civility, crying, peer out, peer out! that any madness I and patience, to this his distemper he is in now: I am glad the fat knight is not here.

Mrs. Ford. Why, does he talk of him?

Mrs. Page. Of none but him; and swears, he was carried out, the last time he searched for him, in a basket: protests to my husband, he is now

(6) As children call on a snail to push forth his

(3) Apt to learn. (4) Sorrowful. (5) Mad fits. horns.

Fal. No, I'll come no more i' the basket: may I not go out, ere he come ?

Mrs. Page, Alas, three of master Ford's brothers watch the door with pistols, that none should issue out; otherwise you might slip away ere he came. But what make you here?

Fal. What shall I do?-I'll creep up into the chimney.

Mrs. Ford. There they always use to discharge their birding-pieces: creep into the kiln-hole. Fal. Where is it?

Mrs. Ford. He will seek there on my word. Neither press, coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he hath an abstract for the remembrance of such places, and goes to them by his note: there is no hiding you in the house.

Fal. I'll go out then.

Mrs. Ford. I'll first direct my men, what they shall do with the basket. Go up, I'll bring linen Exit. for him straight.

Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest varlet! we cannot misuse him enough.

We'll leave a proof, by that which we will do,
Wives may be merry, and yet honest too:
We do not act, that often jest and laugh;
'Tis old but true, Still swine eat all the draff.
[Exit.

Re-enter Mrs. Ford, with two servants.
Mrs. Ford. Go, sirs, take the basket again on
your shoulders; your master is hard at door: if he
bid you set it down, obey him: quickly, despatch.
[Exit.

1 Serv. Come, come, take it up.

2 Serv. Pray heaven, it be not full of the knight again.

1 Serv. I hope not; I had as lief bear so much

lead.

Enter Ford, Page, Shallow, Caius, and Sir Hugh
Evans.

Ford. Ay, but if it prove true, master Page,
have you any way then to unfool me again?-Set
down the basket, villain :-Somebody call my
wife:- -You, youth in a basket, come out here!
O, you panderly rascals! there's a knot, a ging,
now shall the
a pack, a conspiracy against me:
devil be shamed. What! wife, I say! come,
come forth; behold what honest clothes you send
forth to bleaching.

Page. Why, this passes; Master Ford, you

Mrs. Page. If you go out in your own semblance, you die, sir John. Unless you go out dis-are not to go loose any longer; you must be guised,

Mrs. Ford. How might we disguise him? Mrs. Page. Alas the day, I know not. There is no woman's gown big enough for him; otherwise, he might put on a hat, a muffler, and a kerchief, and so escape.

Fal. Good hearts, devise something: any extremity, rather than a mischief.

Mrs. Ford. My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brentford, has a gown above.

Mrs. Page. On my word, it will serve him; she's as big as he is: and there's her thrum'd hat, and her muffler too: run up, sir John.

Mrs. Ford. Go, go, sweet sir John; mistress Page and I will look some linen for your head. Mrs. Page. Quick, quick; we'll come dress you straight: put on the gown the while.

[Exit Fal. Mrs. Ford. I would my husband would meet him in this shape: he cannot abide the old woman of Brentford; he swears, she's a witch; forbade her my house, and hath threatened to beat her.

Mrs. Page. Heaven guide him to thy husband's cudgel; and the devil guide his cudgel afterwards!

Mrs. Ford. But is my husband coming? Mrs. Page. Ay, in good sadness,? is he; talks of the basket too, howsoever he hath had telligence.

pinioned.

Eva. Why, this is lunatics! this is mad as a mad

dog!

Shal. Indeed, master Ford, this is not well; indeed.

Enter Mrs. Ford.

Ford. So say I too, Sir.-Come hither, mistress Ford; mistress Ford, the honest woman, the modest wife, the virtuous creature, that hath the jealous fool to her husband!-I suspect without cause, mistress, do I?

Mrs. Ford. Heaven be my witness, you do, if
you suspect me in any dishonesty.
Ford. Well said, brazen-face; hold it out..
Come forth, sirrah.

[Pulls the clothes out of the basket. Page. This passes!

Mrs. Ford. Are you not ashamed? let the clothes alone.

Ford. I shall find you anon.

Eva. 'Tis unreasonable! Will you take up your wife's clothes? Come away.

Ford. Empty the basket, I say.
Mrs. Ford. Why, man, why,-

Ford. Master Page, as I am a man, there was
and
one conveyed out of my house yesterday in this
in-basket: Why may not he be there again? In my
house I am sure he is: my intelligence is true;
my jealousy is reasonable: Pluck me out all the

the

Mrs. Ford. We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men to carry the basket again, to meet him at door with it, as they did last time.

Mrs. Page. Nay, but he'll be here presently: let's go dress him like the witch of Brentford.

(1) Short note of. (2) Seriousness.

linen.

Mrs. Ford. If you find a man there, he shall die a flea's death.

Page. Here's no man.

(3) Gang. (4) Surpasses, to go beyond bounds.

Shal. By my fidelity, this is not well, master licly shamed: and, methinks, there would be no Ford; this wrongs you. period to the jest, should he not be publicly

Eva. Master Ford, you must pray, and not shamed. follow the imaginations of your own heart: this is jealousies.

Ford. Well, he's not here I seek for.

come into the chamber.

Mrs. Page. Come, to the forge with it then, shape it: I would not have things cool. [Exeunt.

SCENE III.-A room in the Garter Inn. Enter
Host and Bardolph.

Page. No, nor no where else, but in your brain. Ford. Help to search my house this one time: if I find not what I seek, show no colour for my extremity, let me for ever be your table-sport: let Bard. Sir, the Germans desire to have three of them say of me, As jealous as Ford, that search'd your horses: the duke himself will be to-morrow at a hollow walnut for his wife's leman.' Satisfy me court, and they are going to meet him. once more; once more search with me. Host. What duke should that be, comes so seMrs. Ford. What hòa, mistress Page! come cretly? I hear not of him in the court: Let me you, and the old woman down; my husband will speak with the gentlemen; they speak English? Bard. Ay, sir; I'll call them to you. Ford. Old woman! What old woman's that? Host. They shall have my horses; but I'll make Mrs. Ford. Why, it's my maid's aunt of Brent-them pay, I'll sauce them: they have had my house ford. a week at command; I have turned away my other Ford. A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! guests: they must come off; I'll sauce them: Come. Have I not forbid her my house? She comes of errands, does she? We are simple men; we do not know what's brought to pass under the profession of fortune-telling. She works by charms, by spells, by the figure, and such daubery as this is; beyond our element: we know nothing.- -Come down, you witch, you hag you; come down, I say. Mrs. Ford. Nay, good sweet husband;-good gentlemen, let him not strike the old woman.

Enter Falstaff in women's clothes, led by Mrs. Page.

[Exeunt.

SCENE IV.-A room in Ford's House. Enter
Page, Ford, Mrs. Page, Mrs. Ford, and Sir
Hugh Evans.

Eva. 'Tis one of the pest discretions of a 'oman as ever I did look upon.

Page. And did he send you both these letters at an instant?

Mrs. Page. Within a quarter of an hour.
Ford. Pardon me, wife: Henceforth do what
thou wilt;

I rather will suspect the sun with cold,

Mrs. Page. Come, mother Pratt, come, give me your hand. Ford. I'll prat her: -Out of my door, you Than thee with wantonness: now doth thy honour witch! [beats him.] you rag, you baggage, you polecat, you ronyon!2 out! out! I'll conjure you, In him that was of late a heretic,

I'll fortune-tell you.

[Exit Falstaff.

Mrs. Page. Are you not ashamed? I think, you have kill'd the poor woman.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, he will do it:-'Tis a goodly credit for you.

Ford. Hang her, witch!

stand,

As firm as faith.
Page.

'Tis well, 'tis well; no more.
Be not as éxtreme in submission,
As in offence;

But let our plot go forward: let our wives
Yet once again, to make us public sport,

Eva. By yea and no, I think, the 'oman is a Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow, witch indeed: I like not when a 'oman has a great peard; I spy a great peard under her muffler.

Ford. Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you, follow; see but the issue of my jealousy: if I

Where we may take him, and disgrace him for it. Ford. There is no better way than that they spoke of.

Page. How! to send him word they'll meet him cry out thus upon no trail,' never trust me when I in the park at midnight! fie, fie; he'll never come. open again.

Page. Let's obey his humour a little further; Come, gentlemen. [Ex. Page, Ford, Shal. and Eva. Mrs. Page. Trust me, he beat him most pitifully. Mrs. Ford. Nay, by the mass, that he did not; he beat him most unpitifully, methought.

Eva. You say he has been thrown in the rivers; and has been grievously peaten, as an old 'oman; methinks, there should be terrors in him, that he should not come; methinks his flesh is punished, he shall have no desires.

Page. So think I too.

Mrs. Ford. Devise but how you'll use him when he comes,

Mrs. Page. I'll have the cudgel hallowed, and hung o'er the altar; it hath done meritorious service. Mrs. Ford. What think you? May we, with the And let us two devise to bring him thither. warrant of womanhood, and the witness of a good Mrs. Page. There is an old tale goes, that Herne conscience, pursue him with any further revenge? the hunter,

Mrs. Page. The spirit of wantonness is, sure, Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest, scared out of him; if the devil have him not in fee-Doth all the winter time, at still midnight, simple, with fine and recovery, he will never, I Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd horns think, in the way of waste, attempt us again. And there he blasts the tree, and takes the cattle; Mrs. Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how we And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a have served him?

chain

Mrs. Page. Yes, by all means; if it be but to In a most hideous and dreadful manner. scrape the figures out of your husband's brains. If You have heard of such a spirit; and well you they can find in their hearts, the poor unvirtuous

know,

fat knight shall be any further afflicted, we two will The superstitious idle-headed elds Receiv'd, and did deliver to our age,

still be the ministers.

Mrs. Ford. I'll warrant, they'll have him pub-This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth.

(1) Lover.

(2) Scab.
I

(3) Scent.

(4) Cry out. (5) Strikes.

(6) Old age.