fpirit by fpeaking evil of one person to another. It is true, I did it, with a defign to guard her from danger. But this I might have done without evil-speaking.

February 10. My heart is pained for our Minifler, fearing left the altering his condition, fhould make him lefs zealous in the cause or God. But instead of reasoning, I give myself to prayer.

February 27. I am grieved for the corruption of my heart, which wanders from God to the defire of earthly things. I think too highly of myfelf, I prefer my own will to the will of God. And yet he refreshes me!

March 4. I came to my Clafs exceedingly tired with carrying heavy loads, fo that I could hardly walk to the place: but when I came away, all my wearinefs was gone. March 17. Iknow not a day, in which my heart has been more filled with love and deep humility: convinced by the Spirit that I am nothing, yet bleffed and happy in Chrift. My heart does at times vehemently cry after God, yet at other times firangely forgets him. Pride, anger and lightnefs greatly befet me: efpecially lightnefs, which caufes me many

à tear..

April 28. How good is God! The former part of this day he prepared me, by giving me a large measure of his love, for what I felt in the latter, by the discovery of an idol which I had fet up in my heart: one whom Mr. W. had appointed to join with me, in vifiting the fick. My defire was, to converfe with her only for mutual edification and to the glory of God. But my deceitful heart had too great pleasure in her company. Lord fave, or I perifh!

June 3. This day my fpirits were greatly oppreffed: but speaking to her of it, and praying together, I found liberty. I did not find one unchafte thought; but I had too great an affection for her. I am pained when the is abfent, and pleased when she is present. Yet have I found an uncommon degree of the Love of God, through all this temptation.'

June 7.

June 7. I took leave of her, as she was going into the country for fome time. Juft then I felt freedom of fpirit; but the pain I felt in the morning is not to be expreffed. It feemed as if all my happiness was gone with her, and all day I was ready to faint away. But in the evening the pain was all removed, and my foul refreshed with the Love of God.

Sept. 14. For feveral days I have been greatly beset with pride and lightness of fpirit: but this day I was enabled to cry to the Lord against them with many tears. I had a clearer sense of my own vileness than ever; but had alfo a great measure of his love.

Nov. 19. The Lord my God hath been very near to me this day; elfe I could not have borne to fee the evil of my heart, in the manner he hath revealed it.

Dec. 19. I had power to wrestle with God, for meekness and humility. But it was with great ftriving that I kept it, especially when disputing with one who vehemently maintained particular Redemption.

January 1, 1752. I have, by the mercy of God, seen the end of another year; and fuch is his free mercy, that he still enables me to devote myself to his service.

Feb. 1. For several days I have enjoyed much of the Love of God, and have been much bleft at the morning preaching and I can with pleasure look back on his former mercies, which add ftrength to my faith.

Feb. 16. Still my foul feems void of God, and I feel more evil than I can well ftruggle under. I pray to know myfelf, but nature draws back when my heart is laid open. Yet the Lord gives me power to cleave to him in prayer, and I feel love to my poor child: I think I could lay down my life for her, if it would fave her foul.

Sunday, March 15. The Love of God fo overcame me this morning, that I was on the point of fainting away. InVOL. V.

Sff

deed,

deed, whatever I fuffer the week before, the Sabbath is always a delightful day to my foul.

But O! how corrupt is my heart! I find the Lord ever ready to impart his Love, which would abide with me, were I humble. But it is not fo. I feldom have freedom in fpeaking or praying, but I am carried away by pride. And when the loving Spirit is withdrawn, I fret and am angry with God.

April 10. I was at Bedlam, and faw a difconfolate backflider, for whom my heart mourned. She was put in by her hufband, who did not underfland her diforder. But I believe God will appear for her.

Monday, July 13. I had much of the Love of God: on Tuesday abundantly more: my foul rejoicing in hope of an entire deliverance from felf-will and pride. I enjoyed a clofer union with his Spirit than ever before, humbling me to nothing. Yet on Thursday I gave way to the defire of praise, which brought barrennefs on my foul.

October 15. The giving way to pride and lightness, brought on me fuch fear of man, that I was unwilling to go to my employment. But I cried earneftly to the Lord, who foon gave me power to trust in his protection, together with a fenfe of his love.

Sunday December 3. The Lord hath dealt very graciously with me this week. Tuefday and Wednesday I had much of his love; and on Thursday I had power to believe, that I fhall fhortly feel the blood of Jefus cleansing me from all fin, My fleep alfo has been pleasingly interrupted, by vehement defires after a further knowledge of him.

Sunday January 14. 1753. The former part of this week I was greatly bleft with a fense of the prefence and Love of God. But on Friday I grieved the Holy Spirit, by giving way to bitter zeal. This day my foul revived. Yet I was greatly tempted by the praife of men, and the defire of women. But I cried unto God and he delivered me from both.

Sunday 28.

Sunday 28. On Monday and Tuesday laft, I feemed ftupidly ignorant, not knowing how to speak of any of the things of God. On Wednesday I was in a fore temptation, being in company with one who had fet her affection on me, and had fent for me on purpose to disclose it. But she was prevented by my immediately fpeaking of the things of God. Yet I had a fevere conflict with my felf, and was truly thankful to God who gave me the victory.

February 9. Yesterday and to-day I have felt much grief of heart, and many tears have I shed, at feeling the strength of my corrupt nature. Unbelief also prevails over me, and fear that I fhall not hold out to the end. This and the various temptations I feel make me fo peevish, that I am a burden to myself.

Sunday 25. This week I had much of the presence and Love of God, yet was often grieved with lightnefs of spirit. To-day a gentleman fent for me, and gave me a letter to carry, which I took without confidering what I did. But I was afterwards grieved, being afraid, this was a violation of the fabbath.

April 17. Some of my brethren counted me an Enthufiaft, for a point which ftill I cannot give up. I fill believe the perfuafion which I then felt in my foul, was not of nature

but of God.

Sunday May 27. Monday and Tuesday I enjoyed much of the Love of God; on Wednesday night, I was grievously tempted; but the Lord faved me. I flept a little, and fuddenly awoke, with a lively fenfe of my unholinefs. At the fame time I thought, I was juft then going to appear before God. I was unspeakably furprized: I trembled and prayed fome time, before my fpirit was calm. This was not from a fenfe of guilt: I had the clear witnefs of my acceptance in Chrift Jefus. But from a conviction, that I was yet unholy. O for faith to be cleanfed from all filthinefs of flesh and

fpirit.

Sff2

July 17.

July 17. I was exercifed with a new temptation. I was waked by the enemy, throwing a heat over my body, as if I had been laid on a bed of fire: and tho' my mind was calm, the sweat poured out as if I had been in a hot bath.

Thursday 19. I was pained for one I love, as fhe was in great temptation concerning me. The next day I felt fo much forrow as to wish for death for having given place to the thought of marriage with another. To that perfon I had never fpoken of it; but I had to her I love. And this had caused her much pain, as thereby fhe found out her inordinate affection.

Sunday August 5. For feveral days my evil nature has given me much pain: yet the Lord hath refreshed me with his love. But last night, foon after I went to bed, I heard fomething knock twice, foon after my body felt an uncommon heat, and this feveral times in half an hour. It ceafed for two hours. Then I was waked by fomething blowing upon my hand, At that inflant the violent heat returned, and I distinctly heard a loud hiffing very near me. I found no fear, but all within was calm, my foul being reclined on Jesus.

Wednesday October 3. I was in the night grievously disturbed by evil fpirits: but I prayed and found deliverance. On Friday night foon after I lay down, an invifible power raised up first one foot and then the other. Once I heard a voice that made me tremble. Afterwards, with a fwift and violent motion, it twitched first one arm toward my head, then the other next one leg, then the other: then my head was thruft ftrongly toward my breaft. But in all I found much of the peace and Love of God.

[To be continued.]