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A PETITION OF THE LEFT HAND.
TO THOSE WHO HAVE THE SUPERINTENDENOY OF EDUCA
I ADDRESS myself to all the friends of youth, and conjure them to direct their compassionate regards to my unhappy fate, in order to remove the prejudices of which I am the victim. There are twin sisters of us; and the two eyes of man do not more resemble nor are capable of being upon better terms with each other than my sister and myself, were it not for the partiality of our parents, who make the most injurious distinctions between us. From my infancy I have been led to consider my sister as a being of a more elevated rank. I was suffered to grow up without the least instruction, while nothing was spared in her education. She had masters to teach her writing, drawing, music, and other accomplishments; but if by chance I touched a pencil, a pen, or a needle, I was bitterly rebuked; and more than once have I been beaten for being awkward and wanting a graceful manner.
It is true, my sister associated me with her upon some occasions ; but she always made a point of taking the lead, calling upon me only from necessity or to figure by her side.
But conceive not, sirs, that my complaints are instigated merely by vanity. No, my uneasiness is occasioned by an object much more serious. It is the practice in our family that the whole business of pro viding for its subsistence falls upon my sister and myself. If any indisposition should attack my sister-and I mention it in confidence upon this occasion that she is subject to the gout, the rheumatism, and cramp, without making mention of other accidents-what would be the fate of our poor family! Must not the regret of our family be excessive at having placed so great a difference between sisters who are so perfectly equal? Alas! we must perish from distress ; for it would not be in my power even to scrawl a suppliant petition for relief, having been obliged to employ the hand of another in transcribing the request which I have now the honor to prefer to you.
Condescend, sirs, to make my parents sensible of the injustice of an exclusive tenderness, and of the necessity of distributing their care and affection among all their children equally. I am, with a profound respect, sirs, your obedient servant,
THE LEFT HAND.
I RECEIVED my dear friend's two letters, one for Wednesday, one for Saturday. This is again Wednesday. I do not deserve one for to-day, because I have not answered the former. But, indolent as I am, and averse to writing, the fear of having no more of your pleasing epistles if I do not contribute to the correspondence obliges me to take up my pen; and ás Mr. B. has kindly sent me word that he sets out tomorrow to see you, instead of spending this Wednesday evening, as I have done its namesakes, in your delightful company, I sit down to spend it in thinking of you, in writing to you, and in thinking over and over again
I am charmed with your description of Paradise and with your plan of living there, and I approve much of your conclusion that in the mean time we should draw all the good we can from this world. In my opinion, we might all draw more good from it than we do and suffer less evils if we would take care not to give too much for whistles. For to me it seems that most of the unhappy people we meet with are become so by neglect of that caution.
You ask what I mean? You love stories and will excuse my telling one of myself.
* This was written by Franklin to Madame Brillon November 10th, 1779, when he was envoy to the court of France.
When I was a child of seven years old
friends on a holiday filled my pocket with coppers. I went directly to a shop were they sold toys for children, and being charmed with the sound of a whistle that I met by the way in the hands of another boy, 1 voluntarily offered and gave all my money for one. I then came home and went whistling all over the house, much pleased with my whistle, but disturbing all the family. My brothers and sisters and cousins, understanding the bargain I had made, told me I had given four times as much for it as it was worth, put me in mind what good things I might have bought with the rest of the money, and laughed at me so much for my folly that I cried with vexation; and the reflection gave me more chagrin than the whistle gave me pleasure.
This, however, was afterward of use to me, the impression continuing on my mind, so that often when I was tempted to buy some unnecessary thing I said to myself, don't give too much for the whistle : and I saved my money.
As I grew up, came into the world, and observed the actions of men, I thought I met with many, very many, who gave too much for the whistle.
When I saw one too ambitious to court favor, sacrificing his time in attendance on levees, his repose, his liberty, his virtue, and perhaps his friends, to attain it, I have said to myself, this man gives too much for his whistle.
When I saw another fond of popularity constantly employing himself in political bustles, neglecting his own affairs and ruining them by that neglect, he pays, indeed, said I, too much for his whistle.
If I knew a miser who gave up any kind of a comfortable living, all the pleasure of doing good to others, all the esteem of his fellow-citizens and the joys of benevolent friendship for the sake of accumulating wealth, poor man, said I, you pay too much for Your whistle.
When I met with a man of pleasure sacrificing every laudable improvement of the mind or of his fortune to mere corporal sensations, and ruining his health in their pursuit, mistaken man, said I, you are providing pain for yourself instead of pleasure; you give too much for your whistle.
If I see one fond of appearance or fine clothes, fine houses, fine furniture, fine equipages, all above his fortune, for which he contracts debts and ends his career in a prison, alas! say I, he has paid dear, very dear, for his whistle.
When I see a beautiful, sweet-tempered girl mar. ried to an ill-natured brute of a husband, what a pity, say I, that she should pay so much for a whistle!
In short, I conceive that great part of the miseries of mankind are brought upon them by the false estimates they have made of the value of things, and by their giving too much for their whistles.
Yet I ought to have charity for these unhappy people when I consider that with all this wisdom of which I am boasting there are certain things in the world so tempting, for example, the apples of King John, which happily are not to be bought; for if they were put up to sale by auction, I might very easily be led to ruin myself in the purchase, and find that I had once more given too much for the whistle.