• for

Months, and begun to proceed with fuch an affured eafy Air, that piqued my Pride not to banish him; quite contrary, out of pure Malice, I heard his first Declaration with fo much innocent Surprife, and blushed fo prettily, I perceived it touched his very Heart, and he thought me the best-natured Silly poor thing on Earth. When a Man has fuch a Notion of a Woman, he loves her better than he thinks he does. I was overjoy'd to be thus revenged on him, for defigning on my Fortune; and finding it was in my Power to make his Heart ake, I refolved to complete my Conqueft, and entertain'd several other Pretenders. The firff Impreffion of my undefigning Innocence was fo ftrong in his Head, he attributed all my Followers to the inevitable Force of my Charms, and from feveral Blushes and fide Glances, concluded himfelf the Favourite; and when I ufed him like a Dog my Diverfion, he thought it was all Prudence and Fear, and pitied the Violence I did my own Inclinations to comply with my Friends, when I marry'd Sir Nicholas Fribble of Sixty Years of Age. You know, Sir, the Cafe of Mrs. Medlar, I hope you would not have had me cry out my Eyes for fuch a Husband. I fhed Tears enough for my Widowhood a Week after my Marriage, and when he was put in his Grave, reckoning he had been two Years dead, and my felf a Widow of that Standing, I married three Weeks afterwards John Sturdy, Efq; his next Heir. I had indeed fome Thoughts of taking Mr. Waitfort, but I found he could ftay, and befides he thought it inde cent to ask me to marry again, 'till my Year was out, fo privately refolving him for my Fourth, I took Mr. Sturdy for the prefent. Would you believe, Sir, Mr. Sturdy was juft Five and Twenty, about Six Foot high, and the ftouteft Fox-hunter in the Country, and I believe I wished ten thousand times for my old Fribble again; he was following his Dogs all the Day, and all the Night keeping them up at Table with him and his Companions: however I think my felf obliged to them for leading him a Chase in which he broke his Neck. Mr. Waitfart began his Addreffes anew, and I

<

་

⚫ verily

verily believe I had married him now, but there was a young Officer in the Guards, that had debauched two or three of my Acquaintance, and I could not forbear being a little vain of his Courtship. Mr. Waitfort heard of it, and read me fuch an infolent Lecture upon the Conduct of Women, I married the Of'ficer that very Day, out of pure Spite to him. Half an Hour after I was married I received a Penitential Letter from the Honourable Mr. Edward Waitfort, in which he begged Pardon for his Paffion, as proceeding from the Violence of his Love: I triumphed when I read it, and could not help,, out of the Pride of my Heart, fhewing it to my new Spoufe: and we were very merry together upon it. Alas! my Mirth lafted a short time; my young Husband was very much in Debt when I marry'd him, and his firft Action afterwards was to fet up a gilt Chariot and Six, in fine Trappings before and behind. I had married fo haftily, I had not the Prudence to referve my Eftate in my own Hands; my ready Money was loft in two Nights at the Groom-Porter's; and my Diamond Necklace, which was ftole I did not know how, I met in the Street upon Jenny Wheadle's Neck. My Plate vanished Piece by Piece, and I had been reduced to downright Pewter, if my Officer had not been deliciously killed in a Duel, by a Fellow that had cheated him of Five Hundred Pounds, and afterwards, at his own Requeft, fatisfy'd him and me too, by running him through the Body. Mr. Waitfort was fill in Love, and told me fo again; and to prevent all Fears of ill Ufage, he defir'd me to referve every thing in my own Hands: But now my Acquaintance begun to wifh me Joy of his Conftancy, my Charms were declining, and I could not refift the Delight I took in fhewing the young Flirts about Town, it was yet in my Power to give Pain to a Man of Senfe: This, and fome private Hopes he would hang himself, and what a Glory would it be for me, and how I should be envy'd, made me accept of being third Wife to my Lord Friday. I propofed from my Rank and his Eftate, to live in all the Joys of Pride, but how was I • mistaken ?

་

D 2

mistaken? he was neither extravagant, nor ill-natured, nor debauched? I fuffered however more with him • than with all my others. He was fplenetick. I was ⚫ forced to fit whole Days hearkening to his imaginary Ails; it was impoffible to tell what would please him; what he liked when the Sun fhined, made him fick when it rained; he had no Diftemper, but lived in 'conftant Fear of them all: My good Genius dictated to me to bring him acquainted with Doctor Gruel; from that Day he was always contented, because he had Names for all his Complaints; the good Doctor ⚫ furnished him with Reasons for all his Pains, and Prefcriptions for every Fancy that troubled him; in hot • Weather he lived upon Juleps, and let Blood to prevent Fevers; when it grew cloudy he generally apprehended a Confumption; to fhorten the Hiftory of this wretched Part of my Life, he ruined a good Conftitution by endeavouring to mend it, and took feveral Medicines, which ended in taking the grand Remedy, which cured both him and me of all our Unea• fineffes. After his Death, I did not expect to hear any more of Mr. Waitfort, I knew he had renounced me to all his Friends, and been very witty upon my Choice, which he affected to talk of with great Indifferency; I gave over thinking of him, being told that he was engaged with a pretty Woman and a great Fortune; it vexed me a little, but not enough to make me neglect the Advice of my Coufin Wishwell, that came to see me the Day my Lord went into the Country with Ruffel; fhe told me experimentally, nothing put an unfaithful Lover and a dear Husband fo foon out of ones Head, as a new one; and, at the fame time, propos'd to me a Kinfman of hers; You understand enough of the World (faid fhe) to know Money is the most valuable Confideration; he is very rich, and I am fure cannot live long; he has a Cough that must carry him off foon. I knew afterwards the ⚫ had given the felf-fame Character of me to him; but however I was fo much perfuaded by her, I haftned on the Match, for fear he should die before the time came; he had the fame Fears, and was fo preffing, 6 1 married

་

I married him in a Fortnight, refolving to keep it private a Fortnight longer. During this Fortnight Mr. Waitfort came to make me a Vifit; he told me he had waited on me fooner, but had that Refpect for me, he would not interrupt me in the first Day of my Affliction for my dead Lord; that as foon as he heard I was at Liberty to make another Choice, he had broke off a Match very advantageous for his Fortune juft upon the Point of Conclufion, and was forty times more in Love with me than ever. I never received more Pleasure in my Life than from this Declaration, but I compofed my Face to a grave Air, and faid the News of his Engagement had touched me to the Heart, that in a rafh jealous Fit, I had married a Man I could never have thought on if I had not loft all hopes of him. Good-natured Mr. Waitfort had like to have dropped down dead at hearing this, but went from me with fuch an Air as plainly fhewed me he laid all the Blame upon himself, and ⚫ hated thofe Friends that had advised him to the Fatal Application; he seemed as much touched by my Miffortune as his own, for he had not the leait Doubt I was ftill paffionately in Love with him. The Truth of the Story is, my new Husband gave me Reason to repent I had not ftaid for him; he had married me for my Money, and I foon found he loved Money to Diftraction; there was nothing he would not do to get it, nothing he would not fuffer to preferve it; the fmalleft Expence kept him awake whole Nights, and when he paid a Bill, 'twas with as many S gh, and after as many Delays, as a Man that endures the Lofs of a Limb. I heard nothing but Reproofs for Extravagancy whatever I did. I faw very well that he would have ftarved me, but for lofing my Jointures; and he fuffered Agonies between the Grief of feeing me have fo good a Stomach, and the Fear that if he made me faft, it might prejudice my Health. I did not doubt he would have broke my Heart, if I did not break his, which was allowed by the Law of Self-defence. The Way was very eafy. I refolved to fpend as much Money as I could, and before he was

D. 3.

6

aware

aware of the Stroke, appeared before him in a two • thousand Pound Diamond Necklace; he faid nothing, ⚫ but went quietly to his Chamber, and, as it is thought, compofed himself with a Dofe of Opium. I behaved my felf fo well upon the Occafion, that to this Day • I believe he died of an Apoplexy. Mr. Waitfort was ⚫ refolved not to be too late this time, and I heard from him in two Days. I am almost out of my Weed at this prefent Writing, and very doubtful whether I'll marry him or no. I do not think of a Seventh, for the ridiculous Reafon you mention, but out of pure Morality that I think fo much Conftancy fhould be rewarded, tho' I may not do it after all perhaps. I do not believe all the unreasonable Malice of Mankind can give a Pretence why I should have been conftant to the Memory of any of the Deceased, or have fpent much time in grieving for an infolent, infignificant, negligent, extravagant, fplenetick, or covetous Hufband; my firft infulted me, my fecond was nothing to me, my third difgufted me, the fourth would have • ruined me, the fifth tormented me, and the fixth * would have starved me. If the other Ladies you name ⚫ would thus give in their Husbands Pictures at length, you would fee they have had as little Reason as my felf to lose their Hours in weeping and wailing.

Friday,