I have received the following Letter, or rather Billetdoux, from a pert young Baggage, who congratulates with me upon the fame Occafion. Dear Mr. Prate-apace, June 23, 1714 Am a Member of a Female Society who call our felves the Chit-Chat Club, and am ordered by the ⚫ whole Sisterhood, to congratulate you upon the Use of your Tongue. We have all of us a mighty Mind to 6 hear you talk, and if you will take your Place among us for an Evening, we have unanimously agreed to ⚫ allow you one Minute in ten, without Interruption. I am, SIR, Your bumble Servant, S. T. P. S. You may find us at my Lady Betty Clack's, who will leave Orders with her Porter, that if an elderly Gentleman, with a fhort Face, enquires for her, be fhall be admitted and no Questions asked. AS this particular Paper fhall confift wholly of what I have received from my Correfpondents, I fhall fill up the remaining Part of it with other congratulatory Letters of the fame Nature. SIR, Oxford, June 25, 1714. W E are here wonderfully pleased with the Opening of your Mouth, and very frequently open ours in Approbation of your Defign; efpecially fince we find you are refolved to preserve your Taciturnity as to all Party Matters. We do not queftion but you are as great an Orator as Sir Hudibras, of whom the Poet fweetly fings, He could not ope His Mouth, but out there flew a Trope. 6 • If you will fend us down the Half-dozen well-turned Periods, that produced fuch difmal Effects in your Muicles, we will depofite them near an old Manufcript of Tully's Orations, among the Archives of the Univerfi y; for we all agree with you, that there is not . a more remarkable Accident recorded in Hiftory, fince that wh.ch happened to the Son of Crafus, nay, I believe you might have gone higher, and have added • Balaam's Afs. We are impatient to fee more of your Productions, and expect what Words will next fall from you, with as much Attention as thofe who were fet to watch the fpeaking Head, which Friar Bacon formerly erected in this Place. We are, Honeft SPEC, I Worthy SIR, Your most humble Servants, B. R. T. D. &c. Middle-Temple, June 24. Am very glad to hear that thou beginneft to prate; and find, by thy Yefterday's Vifion, thou art fo ufed to it, that thou canst not forbear talking in thy Sleep. Let me only advife thee to speak like other Men, for I am afraid thou wilt be very queer, if thou ⚫ doft not intend to use the Phrafes in fashion, as thou calleft them in thy Second Paper. Haft thou a Mind to pass for a Bantamite, or to make us all Quakers? I do affure thee, deaf SPE C, I am not polished out of my Veracity, when I fubfcribe my self N° 561. Wednesday, June 30. Paulatim abolere Sichaum Incipit, & vivo tentat prævertere amore SIR, I Virg. Am a tall, broad-fhoulder'd, impudent, black Fellow, and, as I thought, every way qualified for a rich Widow: But, after having tried my Fortune for above three Years together, I have not been able to get one fingle Relict in the Mind. My firit Attacks were generally fuccessful, but always broke off as foon as they came to the word Settlement. Though I have not improved my Fortune this way, I have my Experience, and have learnt feveral Secrets which may ⚫ be of ufe to thofe unhappy Gentlemen, who are commonly distinguished by the Name of Widow-hunters, and who do not know that this Tribe of Women are, generally speaking, as much upon the Catch as them⚫ felves. I fhall here communicate to you the Myfte⚫ries of a certain Female Cabal of this Order, who call themselves the Widow-Club. This Club confifts of 'nine experienced Dames, who take their Places once a Week round a large oval Table. I. Mrs. Prefident is a Perfon who has difpofed of • fix Husbands, and is now determined to take a feventh; being of Opinion that there is as much Virtue in the Touch of a feventh Husband as of a feventh • Son. Her Comrades are as follow. II. Mrs. Snapp, who has four Jointures, by four dif'ferent Bedfellows, of four different Shires. She is at prefent upon the Point of Marriage with a Middlefex • Man, and is faid to have an Ambition of extending her Poffeffions through all the Counties in England, on this fide the Trent. III. Mrs. Medlar, who after two Husbands and a • Gallant, is now wedded to an old Gentleman of Sixty. Upon B 4 6 6 6 25 Upon her making her Report to the Club after a Week's Cohabitation, fhe is ftill allowed to fit as a Widow, and accordingly takes her Place at the Board. IV. The Widow Quick married within a Fortnight after the Death of her laft Husband. Her Weeds have ferved her thrice, and are ftill as good as new. V. Lady Catharine Swallow. She was a Widow at Eighteen, and has fince buried a second Husband and two Coachmen. VI. The Lady Waddle. She was married in the 15th Year of her Age to Sir Simon Waddle, Knight, aged Threefcore and twelve, by whom he had Twins nine Months after his Deceafe. In the 55th Year of her Age fhe was married to James Spindle Efq; a Youth of One and twenty, who did not out-live the 'Honey-Moon. At • VII. Deborah Conqueft. The Cafe of this Lady is fomething particular. She is the Relict of Sir Sampfon Conqueft, fome time. Juftice of the Quorum. Sir Sampson was feven Foot high, and two Foot in Breadth from the Tip of one Shoulder to the other. He had married three Wives, who all of them died in Child-bed. This terrified the whole Sex, who none of them durft venture on Sir Sampson. length Mrs. Deborah undertook him, and gave fo good an Account of him, that in three Years time the very fairly laid him out, and measured his Length upon the Ground. This Exploit has gained her fo great a Reputation in the Club, that they have added Sir Sampson's three Victories to hers, and give her the Merit of a fourth Widowhood; and fhe takes her Place accordingly. VIII. The Widow Wildfire, Relict of Mr. John Wildfire, Fox-hunter, who broke his Neck over a fix Bar Gate. She took his Death fo much to Heart, that it was thought it would have put an End to her Life, had fhe not diverted her Sorrows by receiving the Addreffes of a Gentleman in the Neighbourhood, who made Love to her in the fecond Month of her 'Widowhood. This Gentleman was difcarded in a Fortnight for the fake of a young Templar, who had the • Poffeffion Poffeffion of her for fix Weeks after, 'till he was beaten out by a broken Officer, who likewife gave up his Place to a Gentleman at Court. The Courtier was as fhort-liv'd a Favourite as his Predeceffors, but had the Pleafure to fee himfelf fucceeded by a long Series of Lovers, who followed the Widow Wildfire to the 37th Year of her Age, at which time there enfued a Ceflation of ten Years, when John Felt, Haberdasher, took it in his Head to be in love with her, and it is thought will very fuddenly carry her off. IX. The laft is pretty Mrs. Runnet, who broke her firft Husband's Heart before fhe was fixteen, at which 6 Time she was entred of the Club, but foon after left it, upon Account of a Second, whom fhe made fo quick a Difpatch of, that the returned to her Seat in lefs than a Twelvemonth. This young Matron is looked upon as the moft rifing Member of the Society, and will probably be in the Prefident's Chair before the dies. THESE Ladies, upon their firft Inftitution, refolved to give the Pictures of their deceafed Husbands to the Club-Room, but two of them bringing in their Dead at full Length, they cover'd all the Walls; Upon which they came to a fecond Refolution, that every Matron fhould give her own Picture, and fet it round with her Husband's in Miniature. AS they have most of them the Misfortune to be troubled with the Colick, they have a noble Cellar of Cordials and ftrong Waters. When they grow Maudlin, they are very apt to commemorate their former Partners with a Tear. But ask them which of their Husbands they condole, they are not able to tell you, and difcover plainly that they do not weep fo much for the Lofs of a Husband, as for the want of one. THE principal Rule, by which the whole Society are to govern themfelves, is this, To cry up the Pleafures of a fingle Life upon all Occafions, in order to deter the rest of their Sex from Marriage, and engrofs the whole Male World to themfelves. THEY are obliged, when any one makes Love to a Member of the Society, to communicate his ⚫ Name, B. 5 |