N° 597. Wednesday, September 22. Mens fine Pondere ludit. Petr. INCE I received my Friend Shadow's Letter, feveral of my Correspondents have been pleased to fend me an Account how they have been employed in Sleep, and what notable Adventures they have been engaged in during that Moonshine in the Brain. I fhall lay before my Readers an Abridgement of some few of their Extravagances, in hopes that they will in Time accuftom themselves to dream a little more to the Purpose. ONE who ftiles himfelf Gladio, complains heavily that his Fair One charges him with Inconftancy, and does not ufe him with half the Kindness which the Sincerity of his Paffion may demand; the faid Gladio having by Valour and Stratagem put to Death Tyrants, Enchanters, Monsters, Knights, &c. without Number, and expofed himself to all manner of Dangers for her Sake and Safety. He defires in his Poftfcript to know, whether, from a conftant Success in them, he may not promise himself to succeed in her Esteem at laft. ANOTHER who is very prolix in his Narrative writes me Word, that having fent a Venture beyond Sea, he took occafion one Night to fancy himself gone along with it, and grown on a fudden the richeft Man in all the Indies. Having been there about a Year or two, a Guft of Wind that forced open his Casement blew him over to his native Country again, where awaking at Six o' Clock, and the Change of the Air not agreeing with him, he turned to his Left Side in order to a fecond Voyage; but ere he could get on Shipboard, was unfortunately apprehended for ftealing a Horse, try'd and condemn'd for the Fact, and in a fair way of being executed, if fome Body ftepping haftily into his Chamber had not brought him a Reprieve. This Fellow too wants Mr. Shadow's Advice, who, I dare fay, would bid him be content to rife after his firft Nap, and learn to be fatisfied as foon as Nature is. THE next is a publick-fpirited Gentleman, who tells me, That on the Second of September at Night the whole City was on Fire, and would certainly have been reduced to Ashes again by this Time, if he had not flown over it with the New River on his Back, and happily extinguished the Flames before they had prevailed too far. He would be informed whether he has not a Right to petition the Lord Mayor and Alderman for a Reward. A Letter dated September the Ninth acquaints me, That the Writer being refolved to try his Fortune, had fafted all that Day; and that he might be fure of dreaming upon fomething at Night, procured an handsome Slice of Bride-Cake, which he placed very conveniently under his Pillow. In the Morning his Memory happen'd to fail him, and he could recollect nothing but an odd Fancy that he had eaten his Cake; which being found upon Search reduced to a few Crums, he is refolved to remember more of his Dreams another Time, believing from this that there may poffibly be fomewhat of Truth in them. I have received numerous Complaints from feveral delicious Dreamers, defiring me to invent fome Method of filencing thofe noify Slaves, whofe Occupations lead them to take their early Rounds about the City in a Morning, doing a deal of Mischief; and working ftrange Confufion in the Affairs of its Inhabitants. Several Monarchs have done me the Honour to acquaint me, how often they have been fhook from their refpective Thrones by the rattling of a Coach or the rumbling of a Wheel-barrow. And many private Gentlemen, I find, have been bawl'd out of vast Estates by Fellows not worth Three-p -pence. A fair Lady was just upon the Point of being married to a young, handfome, rich, ingenious Nobleman, when an impertinent Tinker paffing by forbid the Banns; and an hopeful hopeful Youth, who had been newly advanced to great Honour and Preferment, was forced by a neighbouring Cobler to refign all for an old Song. It has been reprefented to me, that thofe inconfiderable Rafcals do nothing but go about diffolving of Marriages and fpoiling of Fortunes, impoverishing rich and ruining great People, interrupting Beauties in the midft of their Conquefts, and Generals in the Courfe of their Victories. A boisterous Peripatetick hardly goes through a Street without waking half a Dozen Kings and Princes to open their Shops or clean Shoes, frequently transforming Scepters into Paring-Shovels, and Proclamations into Bills. I have by me a Letter from a young Statesman, who in five or fix Hours came to be Emperor of Europe, after which he made War upon the Great Turk, routed him Horfe and Foot, and was crowned Lord of the Univerfe in Conftantinople: the Conclufion of all his Succeffes is, that on the 12th Inftant, about Seven in the Morning, his Imperial Majefty was depofed by a Chimney Sweeper. ON the other hand, I have Epiftolary Teftimonies of Gratitude from many miferable People, who owe to this clamorous Tribe frequent Deliverances from great Misfortunes. A Small-coal-Man, by waking of one of these diftreffed Gentlemen, faved him from ten Years Imprisonment. An honeft Watchman bidding aloud Good-morrow to another, freed him from the Malice of many potent Enemies, and brought all their Defigns against him to nothing. A certain Valetudinarian confeffes he has often been cured of a fore Throat by the Hoarfenefs of a Carman, and relieved from a Fit of the Gout by the Sound of old Shoes. A noify Puppy, that plagued a fober Gentleman all Night long with his Impertinence, was filenced by a Cinder-Wench with a Word fpeaking. INSTEAD therefore of fuppreffing this Order of Mortals, I would propofe it to my Readers to make the best Advantage of their Morning Salutations. A famous Macedonian Prince, for fear of forgetting himself in the midft of his good Fortune, had a Youth to wait on him every Morning, and bid him remember that he was was a Man. A Citizen who is waked by one of these Criers, may regard him as a kind of Remembrancer, come to admonish him that it is time to return to the Circumftances he has overlooked all the Night-time, to leave off fancying himself what he is not, and prepare to act fuitably to the Condition he is really placed in. PEOPLE may dream on as long as they please, but I fhall take no Notice of any Imaginary Adventures, that do not happen while the Sun is on this Side the Horizon. For which Reason I ftifle Fritilla's Dream at Church laft Sunday, who, while the reft of the Audience were enjoying the Benefit of an excellent Difcourfe, was lofing her Money and Jewels to a Gentleman at Play, till after a ftrange Run of ill Luck fhe was reduced to pawn three lovely pretty Children for her laft Stake. When he had thrown them away her Companion went off, difcovering himself by his ufual Tokens, a cloven Foot and a strong Smell of Brimftone; which laft proved only a Bottle of Spirits, which a good old Lady applied to her Nofe, to put her in a Condi tion of hearing the Preacher's third Head concerning Time. IF a Man has no Mind to pafs abruptly from his imagined to his real Circumstances, he may employ himfelf a while in that new kind of Obfervation which my Onicrocritical Correfpondent has directed him to make of himself. Pursuing the Imagination through all its Extravagances, whether in Sleeping or Waking, is no improper Method of correcting and bringing it to act in Subordinacy to Reafon, fo as to be delighted only with fuch Objects as will affect it with Pleasure, when it is never fo cool and fedate. Friday N° 598. Friday, September 24. Jamne igitur laudas, quod de fapientibus alter M ANKIND may be divided into the Merry and the Serious, who, both of them, make very. good Figure in the Species, fo long as they keep their respective Humours from degenerating into the neighbouring Extreme; there being a natural Tendency in the one to a melancholy Moroseness, and in the other to a fantastick Levity. THE merry Part of the World are very amiable, while they diffuse a Chearfulness through Converfation at proper Seasons and on proper Occafions; but, on the contrary, a great Grievance to Society, when they infect every Difcourfe with infipid Mirth, and turn into Ridicule fuch Subjects as are not fuited to it. For though Laughter is looked upon by the Philofophers as the Property of Reason, the Excefs of it has been always confidered as the Mark of Folly. ON the other Side, Seriousness has its Beauty while it is attended with Chearfulness and Humanity, and does not come in unfeasonably to pall the good Humour of thofe with whom we converse. THESE two Sets of Men, notwithstanding they each of them shine in their refpective Characters, are apt to bear a natural Aversion and Antipathy to one ano ther. WHAT is more ufual, than to hear Men of ferious Tempers and auftere Morals, enlarging upon the Vanities and Follies of the young and gay Part of the Species; while they look with a kind of Horror upon. 1ch Pomps and Diverfions as are innocent in them felves, |