Sir Geo. Any where, any where, dear madam!

without ceremony.

Scent. Come, come, sir, lie close

[They put him behind the chimney-board.

Enter Sir FRANCIS and MARPLOT, Sir FRANCIS peeling an orange.

Sir Fran. I cou'd not go, tho' 'tis upon life and death, without taking leave of dear chargy. Besides, this fellow buzz'd into my ears that thou might'st be so desperate as to shoot that wild rake which haunts the garden-gate, and that would bring us into trouble, dear――

Miran. So, Marplot brought you back then ?
Mar. Yes, I brought him back.

Miran. I'm oblig'd to him for that I'm sure.

[Frowning at Marplot aside.

Mar. By her looks she means she's not oblig'd to me. I have done some mischief now, but what I cann't imagine.

Sir Fran. Well, chargy, I have had three messengers to come to Epsom to my neighbour Squeezum's, who, for all his vast riches, is departing. [Sighs.

Mar. Ay, see what all you usurers must come to. Sir Fran. Peace, you young knave! Some forty years hence I may think on't-But, chargy, I'll be with thee to-morrow before those pretty eyes are open; I will, I will, chargy, I'll rouse you i'faithHere, Mrs. Scentwell, lift up your lady's chimney

H

board, that I may throw my peel in, and not litter her chamber.

Miran. Oh my stars! what will become of us now?

Scent. Oh, pray, sir, give it me; I love it above all things in nature, indeed I do.

Sir Fran. No, no, hussy; you have the green pip already; I'll have no apothecary's bills.

[Goes towards the chimney. Miran. Hold, hold, hold, dear gardy! I have a, a, a, a, a, monkey shut up there, and if you open it before the man comes that is to tame it, 'tis so wild 'twill break all my china or get away, and that would break my heart; for I'm fond on't to distraction, next thee, dear gardy! [In a flattering tone. Sir Fran. Well, well, chargy, I won't open it; she shall have her monkey, poor rogue! Here, throw this peel out of the window. [Exit Scentwell.

Mar. A monkey! dear madam, let me see it; I can tame a monkey as well as the best of them all. Oh, how I love the little miniatures of man!

Miran. Be quiet, mischief! and stand farther from the chimney--You shall not see my monkey-why [Striving with him.

sure

Mar. For Heav'n's sake, dear madam! let me but peep, to see if it be as pretty as lady Fiddle Faddle's. Has it got a chain?

Miran. Not yet, but I design it one shall last its lifetime. Nay, you shall not see it. -Look, gardy,

how he teazes me!

Sir Fran. [Getting between him and the chimney.] Sir

L

rah, sirrah, let my chargy's monkey alone, or bamboo shall fly about your ears.

dealing with you?

What is there no

Mar. Pugh, pox of the monkey! here's a rout! I wish he may rival you.

Enter a Servant.

Serv. Sir, they have put two more horses to the coach, as you order'd, and 'tis ready at the door.

Sir Fran. Well, I am going to be executor; better for thee, jewel. B'ye, chargy; one buss!-I'm glad thou hast got a monkey to divert thee a little. Miran. Thank'e, dear gardy!-Nay, I'll see you to the coach.

Sir Fran. That's kind adad.

Miran. Come along, Impertinence. [To Marplot. Mar. [Stepping back.] Egad, I will see the monkey now. [Lifts up the board, and discovers Sir George.] O Lord! O Lord! Thieves! thieves! murder 1

Sir Geo. Damn ye, you unlucky dog! 'tis I. Which way shall I get out? Shew me instantly, or I'll cut your throat.

Mar. Undone, undone! At that door there. "But "hold, hold; break that china, and"-I'll bring you off. [He runs off at the corner, and throws down some china.

Re-enter Sir FRANCIS, MIRANDA, and SCENTWELL.
Sir Fran. Mercy on me! what's the matter?
Miran. O, you toad! what have you done?
Mar. No great harm; I beg of you to forgive me,

Longing to see the monkey, I did but just raise up the board, and it flew over my shoulders, scratch'd all my face, broke yon' china, and whisked out of the window.

Sir Fran. Where, where is it, sirrah?

Mar. There, there, sir Francis, upon your neighbour' Parmazan's pantiles.

Sir Fran. Was ever such an unlucky rogue! Sirrah, I forbid you my house. Call the servants to get the monkey again. Pug, Pug, Pug! I wou'd stay myself to look it, but that you know my earnest business.

Scent. Oh, my lady will be best to lure it back: all them creatures love my lady extremely.

Miran. Go, go, dear gardy! I hope I shall recover it.

Sir Fran. B'ye, b'ye, dearee! Ah, Mischief! how you look now! B'ye, b'ye. [Exit. Miran. Scentwell, see him in the coach, and bring me word.

Scent. Yes, madam.

[Exit. Miran. So, sir, you have done your friend a signal piece of service, I suppose.

Mar. Why, look you, madam, if I have committed a fault, thank yourself; no man is more serviceable when I am let into a secret, and none more unlucky at finding it out. Who cou'd divine your meaning; when you talk'd of a blunderbuss, who thought of a rendezvous? and when you talk'd of a monkey, who the devil dreamt of sir George?

Miran. A sign you converse but little with our sex, when you cann't reconcile contradictions.

Enter SCENTWELL.

Scent. He's gone, madam, as fast as the coach and six can carry him

Enter Sir GEORGE.

Sir Geo. Then I may appear.

Mar. Here's Pug, ma'am-Dear sir George! make my peace. On my soul I never took you for a monkey before.

Sir Geo. I dare sware thou didst not. Madam, I beg you to forgive him.

Miran. Well, sir George, if he can be secret.

Mar. 'Odsheart, madam! I'm as secret as a priest, when trusted.

Sir Geo. Why, 'tis with a priest our business is at present.

Scent. Madam, here's Mrs. Isabinda's woman to wait on you.

Miran. Bring her up.

Enter PATCH.

How do ye, Mrs. Patch? What news from your lady? Patch. That's for your private ear, madam. Sir George, there's a friend of your's has an urgent occasion for your assistance.

Sir Geo. His name.

Patch. Charles.