Enter MARPLOT.

Sir Fran. How now, who sent for you, sir? What, is the hundred pound gone already?

Mar. No, sir; I don't want money now, Gardy.

Sir Fran. No, that's a miracle! but there's one thing you want I'm sure.

Mar. Ay, what's that?

Sir Fran. Manners! What, had I no servants without?

Mar. None that could do my business, Guardian, which is as present with this lady.

Miran. With me, Mr. Marplot! what is it I beseech you?

Sir Fran. Ay, sir, what is it? any thing that relates to her may be delivered to me.

Mar. I deny that.

Miran. That's more than I do, sir.

Mar. Indeed, madam! Why then to proceed: Fame says, you know best whether she lies or not, that you and my most conscionable Guardian here design'd, contriv'd, plotted, and agreed, to chouse a very civil, honest, honourable gentleman out of a hundred pounds: Guilty or not?

Miran. That I contriv'd it!

Mar. Ay, you—you said never a word against it, so far you are guilty.

Sir Fran. Pray tell that civil, honest, honourable gentleman, that if he has any more such sums to fool away, they shall be receiv'd like the last; ha, ha, ha!

Chous'd quotha! But hark ye, let him know at the same time, that if he dare to report I trick'd him of it, I shall recommend a lawyer to him shall shew him a trick for twice as much. D'ye hear? tell him that. Mar. So, and this is the way you use a gentleman, friend!

and my

Miran. Is the wretch thy friend?

Mar. The wretch! look ye, madam, don't call names, egad I won't take it.

Miran. Why, you won't beat me, will you? Ha, ha! Mar. I don't know whether I will or no.

Sir Fran. Sir, I shall make a servant shew you out at the window if you are saucy.

Mar. I am your most humble servant, Guardian ; I design to go out the same way I came in. I would only ask this lady one question, Don't you think he's a fine gentleman?

Sir Fran. Who's a fine gentleman ?

Mar. Not you, Gardy, not you! Don't you think in your soul that sir George Airy is a very fine gentle

man ?

Miran. He dresses well.

Sir Fran. Which is chiefly owing to his taylor and valet de chambre.

Mar. Well! and who is your dress owing to, ha? There's a beau, ma'am-do but look at him!

Sir Fran. Sirrah!

Miran. And if being a beau be a proof of his being a fine gentleman, he may be so.

F

Mar. He may be so! Why, ma'am, the judicious part of the world allow him wit, courage, gallantry, ay, and economy too, tho' I think he forfeited that character when he flung away a hundred pounds upon your dumb ladyship.

Sir Fran. Does that gall him? Ha, ha, hạ l

Miran. So, sir George, remaining in deep discontent, has sent you, his trusty squire, to utter his complaint. Ha, ha, ha!

Mar. Yes, madam; and you, like a cruel hardhearted Jew, value it no more-than I wou'd your ladyship, were I sir George; you, you, you—————

Miran. Oh, don't call names: I know you love to be employed, and I'll oblige you, and you shall carry him a message from me.

Mar. According as I like it. What is it?
Miran. Nay, a kind one you may be sure

First, tell him I have chose this gentleman to have and to hold, and so forth.

[Clapping her hand into Sir Francis's.

Mar. Much good may do you!

Sir Fran. Oh, the dear rogue! how I dote on her! [Aside. Miran. And advise his Impertinence to trouble me no more, for I prefer sir Francis for a husband before all the fops in the universe.

Mar. Oh Lord, oh Lord! she's bewitched, that's certain. Here's a husband for eighteen—here's a titbit for a young lady—here's a shape, an air, and a grac -here's bones rattling in a leathern bag-[Turning

sir Francis about.] here's buckram and canvas to scrub you to repentance.

Sir Fran. Sirrah, my cane shall teach you repentance presently.

Mar. No, faith, I have felt its twin brother from just such a wither'd hand too lately.

Miran. One thing more; advise him to keep from the garden-gate on the left hand, for if he dare to saunter there, about the hour of eight, as he us'd to do, he shall be saluted with a pistol or a blunderbuss. Sir Fran. Oh, monstrous! Why, Chargy, did he use to come to the garden-gate?

Miran. The gard'ner described just such another man that always watch'd his coming out, and fain wou'd have brib'd him for his entrance-Tell him he shall find a warm reception if he comes this night. F Mar. Pistols and blunderbusses! Egad a warm reception indeed! I shall take care to inform him of your kindness, and advise him to keep farther off. Miran. I hope he will understand my meaning better than to follow your advice. [Aside. Sir Fran. Thou hast sign'd, seal'd, and ta'en possession of my heart for ever, Chargy, ha, ha, ha! and for you, Mr. Saucebox, let me have no more of your messages, if ever you design to inherit your estate, gentleman.

Mar. Why, there 'tis now. Sure I shall be out of your clutches one day-Well, Guardian, I say no 1. more: but if you be not as arrant a cuckold as e'er - drove bargain upon the Exchange, or paid attend.

ance to a court,

am the son of a whetstone; and so

your humble servant.

[Exit.

Miran. Mr. Marplot, don't forget the message : ha,

ha, ha, ha!

Mar. Nang, nang, nang !

[Exit.

Sir Fran. I am so provok'd-'tis well he's gone. Miran. Oh, mind him not, Gardy, but let's sign articles, and then

Sir Fran. And then-Adad I believe I am metamorphos'd, my pulse beats high, and my blood boils, methinks[Kissing and hugging her. Miran. Oh, fie, Gardy! be not so violent: consider the market lasts all the year.-Well; I'll in, and see if the lawyer be come: you'll follow? [Exit. Sir Fran. Ay, to the world's end, my dear! Well, Frank, thou art a lucky fellow in thy old age to have such a delicate morsel, and thirty thousand pounds, in love with thee. I shall be the envy of bachelors, the glory of married men, and the wonder of the town. some guardians would be glad to compound for part of the estate at dispatching an heiress, but I engross the whole. O! mihi præteritos referet si Jupiter annos. [Exit.

SCENE V.

Changes to a tavern, discovers Sir GEORGE and CHARLES with wine before them, and WHISPER waiting.

Sir Geo. Nay, pr'ythee, don't be grave, Charles: