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Sir Fran. My consent I what does my charmer mean?
Miran. Nay, 'tis only a whim; but I'll have every thing according to form--therefore when you sign an authentick paper drawn up by an able lawyer, that I have your leave to marry, the next day makes me your's, Gardy.
Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! a whim indeed! why, is it not demonstration I give my leave when marry thee?
Miran. Not for your reputation, Gardy; the malicious world will be apt to say you trick me into marriage, and so take the merit from my choice: now I will have the act my own, to let the idle fops see how much I prefer a man loaded with years and wisdom.
Sir Fran. Humph! Proythee leave out years, Chargy; I'm not so old, as thou shalt find. Adad I'm young: there's a caper for ye !
(Jumps. Miran. Oh, never excuse it; why, I like you the better for being old.but I shall suspect you don't love me if you refuse me this formality.
Sir Fran. Not love thee, Chargy! Adad I do love thee better than, than, than, better than what shall I say ? egad better than money; i'faith I do
Miran. That’s false I'm sure. [ Aside.] To prove it do this then.
Sir Fran. Well, I will do it, Chargy, provided I bring a licence at the same time.
Miran. Ay, and a parson too if you please. Ha, ha, ha! I cann't help laughing to think how all the young cuxcombs about town will be mortified when they hear of our marriage.
Sir Fran. So they will, so they will; ha, ha, ha!
Miran. Well, I fancy I shall be so happy with my Gardy
Sir Fran. If wearing pearls and jewels, or eating gold, as the old saying is, can make thee happy, thou shalt be so, my sweetest, my lovely, my charming, my-verily I know not what to call thee, · Miran. You must know, Gardy, that I am so eager to have this business concluded, that I have employed my woman's brother, who is a lawyer in the Temple, to settle matters just to your liking;, you are to give your consent to my marriage, which is to yourself you know : but, mum, you must take no notice of that. So then I will, that is, with your leave, put my writings into his hands; then to-morrow we come slap upon them with a wedding that nobody thought on, by which
seize me and my estate, and I suppose make a bonfire of your own act and deed,
Sir Fran. Nay, but Chargy, if
Miran. Nay, Gardy, no lfs. Have I refus'd three northern lords, two British peers, and half a score knights, to have put in
Ifs? Sir Fran. So thou hast indeed, and I will trust to thy management. 'Od I'm all of a fire.
Miran. 'Tis a wonder the dry stubble does not laze.
Enter MARPLOT. Sir Fran. How now, who sent for you, sir? What, is the hundred pound gone already?
Mar. No, sir ; I don't want money now, Gardy.
Sir Fran. No, that's a miracle! but there's one thing you want I'm sure.
Mar. Ay, what's that?
Sir Fran. Manners! What, had I no servants without?
Mar. None that could do my business, Guardian, which is as present with this lady.
Miran. With me, Mr. Marplot! what is it I beseech you?
Sir Fran. Ay, sir, what is it? any thing that relates to her may be delivered to me.
Mar. I deny that.
Mar. Indeed, madam! Why then to proceed : Fame says, you know best whether she lies or not, that you and my most conscionable Guardian here design'd, contriv’d, plotted, and agreed, to chouse a very civil, honest, honourable gentleman out of a hundred pounds: Guilty or not?
Miran. That I contriv'd it!
Mar. Ay, you-you said never a word against it, so far you are guilty.
Sir Fran. Pray tell that civil, honest, honourable gentleman, that if he has any more such sums to fool away, they shall be receiv'd like the last; ha, ha, ha!
Chous'd quotha ! But hark ye, let him know at the same time, that if he dare to report I trick'd him of it, I shall recommend a lawyer to him shall shew him a trick for twice as much. D’ye hear? tell him that.
Mar. So, and this is the way you use a gentleman, and my
friend! Miran. Is the wretch thy friend?
Mar. The wretch! look ye, madam, don't call names, egad I won't take it.
Miran. Why, you won't beat me, will you ? Ha, ha ! Mar. I don't know whether I will or no.
Sir Fran. Sir, I shall make a servant shew you out at the window if you are saucy.
Mar. I am your most humble servant, Guardian ; I design to go out the same way I came in. I would only ask this lady one question, Don't you think he's a fine gentleman ?
Sir Fran. Who's a fine gentleman ?
Mar. Not you, Gardy, not you! Don't you think in your soul that sir George Airy is a very fine gentleman?
Miran. He dresses well.
Sir Fran. Which is chiefly owing to his taylor and valet de chambre.
Mar. Well! and who is your dress owing to, ha ? There's a beau, ma'ammdo but look at him!
Sir Fran. Sirrah !
Miran. And if being a beau be a proof of his being a fine gentleman, he may be so.
Mar. He may be so! Why, ma'am, the judicious part of the world allow him wit, courage, gallantry, ay, and economy too, tho' I think he forfeited that character when he Aung away a hundred pounds upon your dumb ladyship.
Sir Fran. Does that gall him? Ha, ha, hą !
Miran. So, sir George, remaining in deep discontent, has sent you, his trusty squire, to utter his complaint. Ha, ha, ha!
Mar. Yes, madam; and you, like a cruel hardhearted Jew, value it no more than I wou'd your ladyship, were I sir George ; you, you, you
Miran. Oh, don't call names: I know you love to be employed, and I'll oblige you, and
carry him a message from me.
Mar. According as I like it. What is it?
Miran. Nay, a kind one you may be sure First, tell him I have chose this gentleman to have and to hold, and so forth.
[Clapping her hand into Sir Francis's. Mar. Much good may do you ! Sir Fran. Oh, the dear rogue! how I dote on her!
[Aside. Miran. And advise his Impertinence to trouble me no more, for I prefer sir Francis for a husband before all the fops in the universe.
Mar. Oh Lord, oh Lord! she's bewitched, that's certain. Here's a husband for eighteell--here's a titbit for a young lady—here's a shape, an air, and a grace -here's bones rattling in a leathern bag-[Turning