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Dol. Nor break his fast
In Heaven and Hell.
Sub. She's with you everywhere!
Nor play with costermongers, at mum-chance,
God make you rich (when as your aunt has done
The gallant'st company, and the best games-
Sub. Gleek and primero: and what you get, be
true to us.
Dap. By this hand, I will.
Sub. You may bring's a thousand pound Before to-morrow night, if but three thousand Be stirring, an you will.
Dap. I swear I will then.
Sub. Your fly will learn you all games.
But come, and see me often. I may chance
And some twelve thousand acres of fairy land,
But you must sell your forty mark a year, now.
Sub. Or, give 't away; pox on't!
Sub. "Tis well-away!
Face. Where's Subtle?
Face. Drugger is at the door; go take his suit,
A hundred pound by the service!
Now, Queen Dol,
Have you pack'd up all?
Face. And how do like
The lady Pliant?
Dol. A good dull innocent.
Sub. Here's your Hieronimo's cloak and hat. Face. Give me them.
Sub. And the ruff, too?
Face. Yes; I'll come to you presently. [Exit. Sub. Now he is gone about his project, Dol, I told you of, for the widow.
Dol. "Tis direct
Against our articles.
Sub. Well, we will fit him, wench.
Hast thou gull'd her of her jewels or her bracelets?
Dol. No; but I will do't.
Sub. Soon at night, my Dolly,
When we are shipp'd, and all our goods aboard, Eastward for Ratcliff; we will turn our course To Brainford, westward, if thou say'st the word, And take our leaves of this o'er-weening rascal, This peremptory Face.
Dol. Content, I'm weary of him.
Sub. Thou'st cause, when the slave will run a wiving, Dol,
1 These were both games at dice; silence is said to have been enforced in the former.
Face. What now! a-billing?
In the good passage of our stock affairs.
And send Nab back again to wash his face. Sub. I will: and shave himself.
Face. If you can get him.
Dol. You are hot upon it, Face, whate'er it is! Face. A trick that Dol shall spend ten pound a month by.
Is he gone?
Sub. The chaplain waits you in the hall, sir.
Cozen her of all thou canst. To deceive him
Face. Come, my venturers,
You have pack'd up all? where be the trunks?
Face. Let us see them. Where's the money? Sub. Here,
Face. Mammon's ten pound; eight score before; What paper's that? The brethren's money, this. Drugger's and Dapper's.
Dol. The jewel of the waiting-maid's, That stole it from her lady, to know certainFace. If she should have precedence of her mistress?
Face. What box is that?
Sub. The fish-wives' rings, I think,
And the ale-wives' single money. Is't not, Dol?
1 flitter-mouse or flicker-mouse-i.e. fluttering mouse, i.e. bat.
2 The Three Pigeons at Brentford, the place of rendezvous.
3 single-money-small money, perhaps, that required no change.-GIFFORD.
4 Ward was a famous pirate.
Face. We'll wet it to-morrow; and our silverbeakers
And tavern cups. Where be the French petticoats,
And girdles and hangers?
Sub. Here, in the trunk,
And the bolts of lawn.
Face. Is Drugger's damask there, And the tobacco?
Face. Give me the keys.
Dol. Why you the keys?
Sub. No matter, Dol; because
We shall not open them before he comes.
Face. "Tis true, you shall not open them, indeed;
Nor have them forth, do you see? not forth, Dol. Dol. No!
Face. No, my smock rampant. The right is, my master
Knows all, has pardon'd me, and he will keep them;
Doctor, 'tis true-you look-for all your figures:
'Twixt Subtle, Dol, and Face. All I can do
Offi. [without.] Yes, two or three for failing.1 Love. Have but patience,
And I will open it straight.
If there be any such persons as you seek for,
To a doctor and a captain; who, what they are
Love. You may go in and search, sir. [MAM-
Love. Another too?
Drug. Not I, sir, I am no brother.
Love [beats him.] Away, you Harry Nicholas!1 do you talk? [Exit DRUG. Face. No, this was Abel Drugger. Good sir, go, [To the Parson. And satisfy him; tell him all is done: He stayed too long a washing of his face. The doctor, he shall hear of him at Westchester; And of the captain, tell him, at Yarmouth, or Some good port town else, lying for a wind. [Exit Parson. If you can get off the angry child, now, sirEnter KASTRIL, dragging in his sister.
Kas. 'Slight, I must love him! I cannot choose, i' faith,
An I should be hang'd for't! Suster, I protest, I honour thee for this match.
Love. Oh, do you so, sir?
Kas. Yes, an thou canst take tobacco and drink, old boy,
I'll give her five hundred pound more to her marriage,
Than her own state.
Love. Fill a pipe full, Jeremy.
Face. Yes; but go in and take it, sir. Love. We will
I will be ruled by thee in anything, Jeremy. Kas. 'Slight, thou art not hide-bound,' thou art a jovy boy!
Come, let us in, I pray thee, and take our whiffs. Love. Whiff in with your sister, brother boy.
[Exeunt KAS. and Dame P.] That master That had received such happiness by a servant, In such a widow, and with so much wealth, Were very ungrateful, if he would not be A little indulgent to that servant's wit,
And help his fortune, though with some small strain
Of his own candour.1 [advancing.]-Therefore, gentlemen,
SIR-My hope is not so nourished by example, as it will conclude, this dumb piece should please you, because it hath pleased others before; but by trust, that when you have read it, you will find it worthy to have displeased none. This makes that I now number you, not only in the names of favour, but the names of justice to what I write; and do presently call you to the exercise of that noblest, and manliest virtue; as coveting rather to be freed in my fame, by the authority of a judge, than the credit of an undertaker. Read, therefore, I pray you, and cen
And kind spectators, if I have outstript
Face. So I will, sir. [advancing to the front of stage.]-Gentlemen,
My part a little fell in this last scene,
EPICENE; OR, THE SILENT WOMAN.
ACTED IN THE YEAR 1609 BY THE CHILDREN OF HER MAJESTY'S REVELS.
THE AUTHOR B. J.
-MOROSE, a Gentleman that loves no noise.
SIR JOHN DAw, a Knight.
SIR AMOROUS LA-FOOLE, a Knight also. -THOMAS OTTER, a Land and Sea Captain. CUTBEARD, a Barber.
MUTE, one of MOROSE's Servants. -Parson.
Page to CLERIMONT.
1 candour-honour, fair reputation.
2 Yet 'twas decorum, i.e. I have not acted, however, against the decorum the suitableness of the character. -UPTON.
TO THE TRULY NOBLE BY ALL TITLES,
sure. There is not a line, or syllable in it, changed from the simplicity of the first copy. And when you shall consider, through the certain hatred of some, how much a man's innocency may be endangered by an uncertain accusation; you will, I doubt not, so begin to hate the iniquity of such natures, as I shall love the contumely done me, whose end was so honourable as to be wiped off by your sentence. Your unprofitable, but true Lover,
EPICINE, supposed the Silent Woman.
MISTRESS DOL. MAVIS,)
MISTRESS OTTER, the Captain's Wife,)
Pages, Servants, etc.
1 A learned gentleman, one of Raleigh's club at the Mermaid Tavern.
2 An undertaker, considered a very offensive character, was the name given to certain persons who undertook, through their influence in the House of Commons, in the Parliament of 1614, to carry things agreeably to his Majesty's wishes.-WHALLEY.
Truth says, of old the art of making plays Was to content the people; and their praise Was to the poet money, wine, and bays.
But in this age, a sect of writers are, That only for particular likings care, And will taste nothing that is popular.
With such we mingle neither brains nor breasts;
Yet, if those cunning palates hither come,
That, when they leave their seats, shall make them say,
Who wrote that piece, could so have wrote a play, But that he knew this was the better way.
For, to present all custard, or all tart,
The ends of all, who for the scene do write,
ACT I.-SCENE I.
A Room in CLERIMONT'S House. Enter CLERIMONT, making himself ready, followed by his Page.
Cler. Have you got the song yet perfect, I gave you, boy?
Page. Yes, sir.
Cler. Let me hear it.
Page. You shall, sir; but i'faith let nobody else. Cler. Why, I pray?
The poet prays you then, with better thought
Page. It will get you the dangerous name of a poet in town, sir; besides me a perfect deal of ill-will at the mansion you wot of, whose lady is the argument of it; where now I am the welcomest thing under a man that comes there.
Cler. I think; and above a man too, if the truth were rack'd out of you.
Page. No, faith, I'll confess before, sir. The gentlewomen play with me, and throw me on the bed, and carry me in to my lady: and she kisses me with her oil'd face, and puts a peruke on my head; and asks me an I will wear her gown? and I say, no: and then she hits me a blow o' the ear, and calls me Innocent! and lets me go. Cler. No marvel if the door be kept shut against
1 Innocent-fool, or simpleton.
Be fit for ladies: some for lords, knights, 'squires; Some for your waiting wench, and city wires;2 Some for your men, and daughters of White
Nor is it only while you keep your seat
Who commends her to you.
2 city wires.-This term, which seems to designate the matrons of the city in opposition to the Whitefriars nation,' is new to me. In the stiff and formal dresses of those days, wire indeed was much used; but I know not that it was peculiar to the city dames. Perhaps I have missed the sense. Whitefriars was at this time a privileged spot, the resort of fraudulent debtors, gamblers, prostitutes, and other outcasts of society.-GIF
For he knows, poet never credit gain'd
By writing truths, but things, like truths, well feign'd.
If any yet will, with particular sleight
Of application, wrest what he doth write;
your master, when the entrance is so easy to you -Well, sir, you shall go there no more, lest I be fain to seek your voice in my lady's rushes,' a | fortnight hence. Sing, sir. [Page sings.
Still to be neat, still to be drest
True. Why, here's the man that can melt away his time and never feels it! What between his mistress abroad and his ingle2 at home, high fare, soft lodging, fine clothes, and his fiddle, he thinks the hours have no wings, or the day no post-horse. Well, Sir Gallant, were you struck with the plague this minute, or condemn'd to any capital punishment to-morrow, you would begin then to think, and value every article of your time, esteem it at the true rate, and give all for it.
Cler. Why, what should a man do?
True. Why, nothing; or that which, when 'tis
done, is as idle.
Hearken after the next horse