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And says you are a lumpish whore-master.
Sur. You are indeed. Will you hear me, sir ? Be lighter, I will make your pockets so.
Face. By no means : bid him be gone. [Attempts to pick them. Kas. Begone, sir, quickly. Sur. [Throws open his cloak.] Will you, don Sur. This 's strange !—Lady, do you inform bawd and pick-purse ? (strikes him down.]
your brother. How now! reel you?
Face. There is not such a foist' in all the town, Stand up, sir, you shall find, since I am so heavy, The doctor had him presently; and finds yet, 11 give you equal weight.
The Spanish count will come here.--Bear up, Sub. Help! murder!
[Aside. Sur. No, sir,
Sub. Yes, sir, he must appear within this hour. There's no such thing intended : a good cart Face. And yet this rogue would come in a And a clean wbip shall ease you of that fear.
I know.--Away [to his Sister], you talk like a
foolish mauther.2 Face. How, Surly!
Sur. Sir, all is truth she says. Sur. Oh, make your approach, good captain. Face. Do not believe him, sir. I have found from whence your copper rings and He is the lying'st swabber! Come your ways sir. spoons
Sur. You are valiant out of company! Come now, wherewith you cheat abroad in Kas. Yes, how then, sir?
taverns. 'Twas here you learn'd tanoint your boot with
Enter DRUGGER, with a piece of damask. brimstone,
Face. Nay, here's an honest fellow, too, that Then rub men's gold on't for a kind of touch,
knows him, And say 'twas naught, when you had changed And all his tricks. Make good what I say, Abel ; the colour,
This cheater would have cozen'd thee of the That you might have't for nothing. And this widow.
[Aside to Drug. doctor,
He owes this honest Drugger here, seven pound,
Drug. Thirty shillings, sir;
Face. Nay, sir, you must quarrel him out o' That casteth figures and can conjure, cures
Sur. Why, this is madness, sir,
Kas. It is my humour: you are a pimp and a With the green sickness.
Nay, sir, you must tarry, Drug. Or a knight o'the curious coxcomb, do
Enter ANANIAS. Face. Why, now's the time, if ever you will Ana. Peace to the household ! quarrel
Kas. I'll keep peace for no man.
Kas. Is he the constable ?
Kas. Then you are an otter, and a shad, a wbit, Sur. I should be loth, sir,
A very tim. To confess so much.
Sur. You'll hear me, sir? Kas. Then you lie in your throat.
Kas. I will not
Ana. What is the motive ?
Against his Spanish slops.5
Lewd, superstitious, and idolatrous breeches. Sur. Sir, you are abused.
Sur. New rascals!
1 foist-cheating rogue, sharper. The impudent'st rascal
2 mauther, said to be from Danish moer, means here a girl. It is still used in a contemptuous way in Norfolk
and Suffolk. has been said that op-zee in Dutch means 'over the sea,' 3 lotium-lotion, or a wash. Face wants to insinuate which reminds us of the Eng. half seas over.' that Surly is a diseased profligate. op-zyn-fries means in the Dutch fashion;' or, à la mode 4 trig may here mean coxcomb; Scotch trig-neata de Frise, which Nares thinks the best interpretation of
fine. the phrase.
Kas. Will you begone, sir ?
Presently out of hand. And so I told him,
A Spanish minister came here to spy
How wouldst thou ha' done, if I had not helpt Were seen to prank it with on divers coasts:
thee out? Thou look'st like Antichrist, in that lewd hat. Sub. I thank thee, Face, for the angry boy, Sur. I must give way.
i' faith. Kas. Begone, sir.
Face. Who would have look'd it should have Sur. But I'll take
been that rascal A course with you
Surly? he had dyed his beard and all. Well, Ana. Depart, proud Spanish fiend!
sir, Sur, Captain and doctor.
Here's damask come to make you a suit. Ana. Child of perdition!
Sub. Where's Drugger? Kas. Hence, sir!
[Exit SURLY. Face. He is gone to borrow me a Spanish Did I not quarrel bravely?
habit; Face. Yes, indeed, sir.
I'll be the count, now. Kas. Nay, an I give my mind to't, I shall do't. Sub. But where's the widow? Face. Oh, you must follow, sir, and threaten Face. Within, with my lord's sister : Madam him tame:
Dol He'll turn again else.
Is entertaining her. Kas. I'll re-turn him then.
[Exit. Sub. By your favour, Face,
Sub. You are tyrannous still.
Enter Dol, hastily.
Face. Strict for my right.-How now, Dol? Face. Thou must borrow
Hast (thou] told her
Dol. Yes, but another is come,
Face. Who is that? Face: I know not, Nab:- Thou shalt, if I can Dol. Your master; help it.-3
[Aside. The master of the house. Ilieronimo's old cloak, ruff, and hat will serve ; Sub. How, Dol! I'll tell thee more when thou bring'st 'em.
Face. She lies,
[Exit DRUGGER. This is some trick. Come, leave your quibling, Ana. Sir, I know
[FACE goes to the window. I make no scruple.—But the holy synod
Sub. Art thou in earnest ? Have been prayer and meditation for it;
Dol. 'Slight, And 'tis revealed no less to them than me, Forty o' the neighbours are about him, talking. That casting of money is most lawful.
Face. 'Tis he, by this good day. Sub. True;
Dol. "Twill prove ill day
For some on us.
Dol. Lost, I'm afraid.
While there died one a week within the liberties. Ana. I will tell
Face. No; 'twas within the walls. This to the elders and the weaker brethren,
Sub. Was't so! cry you mercy: That the whole company of the separation I thought the liberties. What shall we do now, May join in humble prayer again.
Face ? Sub. And fasting.
Face. Be silent: not a word, if he call or knock. Ana. Yea, for some fitter place. The peace of i'll into mine old shape again and meet him, mind
Of Jeremy, the butler. In the mean time, Rest with these walls !
[Exit. Do you two pack up all the goods and purchase, Sub. Thanks, courteous Ananias.
That we can carry in the two trunks. I'U keep Face. What did he come for?
him Sub. About casting dollars,
Off for to-day, if I cannot longer: and then
Where we will meet to-morrow, and there we'll 1 The allusion to the unclean beasts of seventy-seven
share. I do not understand, unless it refer to the number of Let Mammon's brass and pewter keep the cellar; Spanish troops which poured into the Netherlands about We'll have another time for that. But, Dol, that time, under D'Alva.--GIFFORD.
'Prythee go heat a little water quickly ; 2 prerented---came before, forestalled.
Subtle must shave me: all my captain's beard 3 Thou shait, &c-if I can forward or promote it, i.e. "playing the fool.' Old Hieronimo, whose stage dress poor Abel is sent to borrow, was the hero of the Spanish Tragedy, so often burlesqued by our poet and his con I purchase—a cant term for goods stolen or dishonestly temporaries.-GIFFORD.
Must off, to make me appear smooth Jeremy. 6 Nei. Yes, sir; like unto a man
That had been strangled an hour, and could not Sub. Yes, I'll shave you, as well as I can.
speak. Face. And not cut my throat, but trim me ? 2 Nei. I heard it too, just this day three weeks, Sub. You shall see, sir.
at two o'clock [Exeunt. Next morning.
Love. These be miracles, or you make them so!
And both you heard him cry?
3 Nei. Yes, downward, sir.
Love. Thou art a wise fellow. Give me thy Before LOVEWIT's Door.
hand, I pray thee,
What trade art thou on? Enter LOVEWIT, with several of the Neighbours. 3 Nei. A smith, an't please your worship. Love. Has there been such resort, say you ? Love. A smith! then lend me thy help to get 1 Nei. Daily, sir.
this door open. 2 Nei. And nightly, too.
3 Nei. That I will presently, sir, but fetch my 3 Nei. Ay, some as brave as lords.
[Exit. 4 Nei. Ladies and gentlewomen.
1 Nei. Sir, best to knock again, afore you 5 Nei. Citizens' wives.
break it. 1 Nei. And knights.
Love. [Knocks again.] I will. 6 Nei. In coaches. 2 Nei. Yes, and oyster-women.
Enter Face in his butler's livery. 1 Nei. Beside other gallants.
Face. What mean you, sir? 3 Nei. Sailors' wives.
1, 2, 4 Nei. Oh, here's Jeremy! 4 Nei. Tobacco men.
Face. Good sir, come from the door. 5 Nei. Another Pimlico!
Love. Why! what's the matter?
Face. Yet farther, you are too near yet.
What means the fellow !
Face. The house, sir, has been visited. 6 Nei. No, sir.
Love. What! with the plague ? stand thou 3 Nei. We had gone in then, sir.
then fartber. Love. He has no gift
Face. No, sir, Of teaching in the nose that e'er I know of. I had it not. You saw no bills set up that promised cure
Love. Who had it then? I left Of agues, or the toothach?
None else but thee in the house. 2 Nei. No such thing, sir.
Face. Yes, sir, my fellow, Love. Nor heard a drum struck for baboons or The cat that kept the buttery, had it on her puppets?
A week before I spied it; but I got her 5 Nei Neither, sir.
Convey'd away in the night: and so I shut Love. What device should he bring forth now? The house up for a monthI love a teeming wit as I love my nourishment: Love. How! 'Pray God he have not kept such open house, Face. Purposing then, sir, That he hath sold my hangings, and my bedding! T'have burnt rose-vinegar, treacle, and tar, I left him nothing else. If he have eat them, And have made it sweet, that you should ne'er A plague o' the moth, say I! Sure he has got have known it; Some bawdy pictures to call all this ging! Because I knew the news would but afflict you, The friar and the nun; or the new motion
sir, of the knight's courser covering the parson's Love. Breathe less, and farther off! Why, this mare ;
is stranger: The boy of six year old with the great thing: The neighbours tell me all here that the doors Or 't may be, he has the fileas that
run at tilt Have still been openUpon a table, or some dog to dance.
Face. How, sir! When saw you him?
Love. Gallants, men and women, 1 Nei, Who, sir, Jeremy?
And of all sorts, tag-rag, been seen to flock here 2 Nei. Jeremy butler ?
In threaves, these ten weeks, as to a second We saw him not this month.
Hogsden, Love. How!
In days of Pimlico and Eye-bright.? 4 Nei. Not these five weeks, sir.
Face. Sir, 6 Nei. These six weeks at the least.
Their wisdoms will not say so. Love. You amaze me, neighbours!
Love. To-day they speak 5 Nei. Sure, if your worship know not where
Of coaches, and gallants; one in a French hood
Went in, they tell me; and another was seen He's slipt away.
In a velvet gown at the window: divers more 6 Nei. Pray God, he be not made away.
pass in and out. Love. Ha ! 'it's no time to question, then. Face. They did pass through the doors then,
(Knocks at the door. 6 Nei. About Some three weeks since, I heard a doleful cry, 1 threaves-heaps, bands. Threare properly means a As I sat up a-mending my wife's stockings. number of sheaves, varying from twelve to twenty-four, Lore. "l'is strange that none will answer! set up together. Didst thou hear
2 Pimlico was a place near Hogsden, famous for cakes
and ale. Pimlico is sometimes spoken of as a person, and A cry, say'st thou ?
may have been the master of a house once famous for ale of a particular description, and so, indeed, may Eye
bright, unless the term be applied to a sort of liquor, in i ging-gang.
which the plant of this name was infused.
Or walls, I assure their eye-sights, and their Face. Yes, sir, I am the housekeeper, spectacles;
And know the keys have not been out of my For here, sir, are the keys, and here have been, hands. In this my pocket, now above twenty days: Sur. This is a new Face. And for before, I kept the fort alone there. Face. You do mistake the house, sir : But that 'tis yet not deep in the afternoon, What sign was't at? I should believe my neighbours had seen double Sur. You rascal! this is one Through the black pot, and made these appari Of the confederacy. Come, let's get officers, tions!
And force the door.
Sur. No, sir, we'll come with warrant.
We shall have your doors open. 1 Nei. Good faith, I think I saw a coach.
[Exeunt MAM. and SUR. 2 Nei. And I too,
Love. What means this? I'd have been sworn.
Face. I cannot tell, sir. Love. Do you but think it now?
1 Nei. These are two of the gallants And but one coach ?
That we do think we saw. 4 Nei. We cannot tell, sir: Jeremy
Face. Two of the fools! Is a very honest fellow.
You talk as idly as they. Good faith, sir, Face. Did you see me at all?
I think the moon has crazed 'em all.-Oh me, 1 Nei. No; that we are sure on. 2 Nei. I'll be sworn o' that.
Enter KASTRIL. Love. Fine rogues to have your testimonies The angry boy come too! He'll make a noise, built on!
away till he have betray'd us all. [Aside. Re-enter Third Neighbour, with his Tools.
Kas. (knocking:] What rogues, bawds, slaves,
you'll open the door, anon! 3 Nei. Is Jeremy come ?
Punk, cockatrice, my suster! By this light 1 Nei. Oh yes; you may leave your tools; I'll fetch the marshall to you. You are a whore We were deceived, he says.
To keep your castle2 Nei. He has had the keys;
Face. Who would you speak with, sir? And the door has been shut these three weeks.
Kas. The bawdy doctor, and the cozening cap3 Nei. Like enough.
tain, Love. Peace, and get hence you changelings. And puss my suster. Enter SURLY and MAMMON.
Love. This is something, sure.
Face. Upon my trust the doors were never Face. Surly come! And Mammon made acquainted! they'll tell all. Kas. I have heard all their tricks told me twice How shall I beat them off? what shall I do?
over, Nothing's more wretched than a guilty conscience. By the fat knight and the lean gentleman.'
[Aside. Love. Here comes another. Sur. No, sir, he was a great physician. This, It was no bawdy house, but a mere chancel!
Enter ANANIAS and TRIBULATION. You knew the lord and his sister.
Face. Ananias too! Mam. Nay, good Surly
And his pastor! Sur. The happy word, BE RICH
Tri. [beating at the door.] The doors are shut Mam. Play not the tyrant.
against us. Sur. Should be to-day pronounced to all your Ana. Come forth, you seed of sulphur, sons of friends.
fire! And where be your andirons now? and your brass Your stench it is broke forth; abomination pots,
Is in the house. That should have been golden lagons, and great
Kas. Ay, my suster's there. wedges ?
Ana. The place, Mam. Let me but breathe. What! they have It is become a cage of unclean birds. shut their doors,
Kas. Yes, I will fetch the scavenger, and the Methinks!
constable. Sur. Ay, now 'tis holiday with them.
Tri. You shall do well. Mam. Rogues, [He and SURLY knock.
Ana. We'll join to weed them out. Cozeners, impostors, bawds!
Kas. You will not come then, punk devise, a my Face. What mean you, sir?
sister! Mam. To enter if we can.
Ana. Call her not sister; she's a harlot, verily. Face. Another man's house !
Kas. I'll raise the street. Here is the owner, sir: turn you to him,
Love. Good gentleman, a word. And speak your business.
Ana. Satan avoid, and hinder not our zeal! Mam. Are you, sir, the owner ?
[Exeunt Ana., TRIB., and Kas Love. Yes, sir.
Love. The world's turn'd Bethlem. Mam. And are those knaves within your Face. These are all broke loose cheaters?
Out of St. Katherine's, where they use to keep Love. What knaves? what cheaters? Mam. Subtle and his Lungs.
The better sort of mad-folks.
1 Nei. All these persons Face. The gentleman is distracted, sir! No We saw go in and out here. lungs,
2 Nei. Yes, indeed, sir. Nor lights have been seen here these three weeks, 3 Nei. These were the parties.
sir, Within these doors, upon my word. Sur. Your word,
1 i.e. by Mammon and Surly. Groom arrogant!
2 i e. thou arrant whore.-GIFFORD.
Face. Peace, you drunkards! Sir,
Sub. Your aunt's a gracious lady; but in troth I wonder at it: please you to give me leave You were to blame. To touch the door, I'll try an the lock be chang’d. Dap. The fume did overcome me, Lore. It mazes me!
And I did do't to stay my stomach. 'Pray you Face. [goes to the door.] Good faith, sir, I believe So satisfy her grace. There's no such thing: 'tis all deceptio visus.
Enter Face, in his uniform. Would I could get him away!
[Aside. Dap. [within.] Master captain! master doctor!
Here comes the captain. Love. Who's that?
Face. How now! is his mouth down? Face. Our clerk within, that I forgot! [Aside.
Sub. Ay, he has spoken! I know not, sir.
Face. A pox, I heard him, and you too. He's
undone then. Dap. [within.) For God's sake, when will her grace be at leisure ?
I have been fain to say, the house is haunted Face. Ha!
With spirits, to keep churl back.
Sub. And hast thou done it? Illusions, some spirit o' the air!– His gag is melted,
Face. Sure, for this night. And now he sets ont the throat.
Sub. Why, then triumph and sing
Of Face so famous, the precious king
Face. Did you not hear the coil
About the door? Face. Believe it, sir, in the air.
Sub. Yes, and I dwindled with it. Love. Peace, you..
Face. Show him his aunt, and let him be deDap. [within. Mine aunt's grace does not use
I'll send her to you. me well.
[Exit FACE. Sub. [within.] You fool,
Sub. Well, sir, your aunt ber grace Peace, you'll mar all.
Will give you audience presently, on my suit, Face. [speaks through the key-hole, while LOVE
And the captain's word that you did not eat your wit adcances to the door unobserved.] Or
gag you will else, you rogue.
In any contempt of her highness. Lore. Oh! is it so? then you converse with
[Unbinds his eyes. spirits !
Dap. Not I, in troth, sir.
Sub. Here she is come. Down o' your knees Face. Dismiss this rabble, sir.
and wriggle: What shall I do? I am catch'd.
[Aside. She has a stately presence. [DAPPER kneels, and Love. Good neighbours,
shuffles towards her.) Good! Yet nearer, I thank you all. You may depart. [Exeunt And bid, God save you!
Neighbours. ]-Come sir,
Sub. And your aunt. And therefore conceal nothing. What's your Dap. And my most gracious aunt, God save medicine,
your grace. To draw so many several sorts of wild-fowl?
Dól. Nephew, we thought to have been angry Face. Sir, you were wont to affect mirth and wit
But that sweet face of yours hath turn'd the tide, But here's no place to talk on't in the street.
And made it flow with joy, that ebb’d of love. Give me but leave to make the best of my fortune, Arise, and touch our velvet gown. And only pardon me the abuse of your house : Sub. The skirts, It's all I beg. I'll help you to a widow,
And kiss 'em. So! In recompence, that you shall give me thanks for,
Dol. Let me now stroke that head. Will make you seven years younger, and a rich
Much, nephew, shalt thou win, much shalt thou
spend, 'Tis but your putting on a Spanish cloak: Much shalt thou give away, much shalt thou lend. I have her within. You need not fear the house;
Sub. Ay, much! indeed.-[Aside.]-Why do It was not visited.
you not thank her grace ? Love. But by me, who came Sooner than you expected.
Dap. I cannot speak for joy.
Sub. See the kind wretch! Face. It is true, sir,
Your grace's kinsman right. 'Pray you forgive me.
Dol. Give me the bird. Love. Well : let's see your widow. [Exeunt. Here is your fly' in a purse, about your neck,
Wear it, and feed it about this day sev'n-night,
On your right wrist-
Sub. Open a vein with a pin,
You must not look on't.
Dol. No: and, kinsman,
Bear yourself worthy of the blood you come on. Sub. How! have you eaten your gag?
Sub. Her grace would have you eat no more Dap. Yes, faith, it crumbled
Nor Dagger 2 frumety.
1 fly-familiar spirit. I hope my aunt of Fairy will forgive me.
The Woolsack and the Dagger were ordinaries of low repute, and our old poets have frequent allusions
to the coarseness of their entertainments.-GIFFORD. 1.An ocular deception.'
Frunety or frumenty was wheat boiled in milk.