leg, and a kersey boot-hose on the other, garter'd with a red and blue list; an old hat, and The humour of forty fancies prick'd in't for a feather: a monster, a very monster in apparel; and not like a christian footboy, or a gentleman's lackey.
Tra, 'Tis some odd humour pricks him to this fashion;
Yet often times he goes but mean apparel'd.
Bap. I am glad he is come, howsoe'er he comes. Bion. Why, sir, he comes not.
Bap. Didst thou not say, he comes?
Bion. Who? that Petruchio came?
Bap. Ay, that Petruchio came.
Bion. No, sir; I say, his horse comes with him on his back.
Bap. Why, that's all one.
Bion. Nay, by saint Jamy, I hold you a penny,
A horse and a man is more than one, and yet not
Enter Petruchio and Grumio.
Pet. Come, where be these gallants? who is at
Pet. Were it better I should rush in thus.
But where is Kate? where is my lovely bride?
How does my father?-Gentles, methinks you frown: And wherefore gaze this goodly company;
As if they saw some wondrous monument,
Some comet, or unusual prodigy?
Bap. Why, sir, you know, this is your wedding
First were we sad, fearing you would not come;
Now sadder, that you come so unprovided.
Fie! doff this habit, shame to your estate,
An eyesore to our solemn festival.
Tra. And tell us, what occasion of import
Hath all so long detain'd you from your wife,
And sent you hither so unlike yourself?
Pet. Tedious it were to tell, and harsh to hear: Sufficeth, I am come to keep my word, Though in some part enforced to digress; Which, at more leisure, I will so excuse As you shall well be satisfied withal. But, where is Kate? I stay too long from her; The morning wears, 'tis time we were at church. Tra. See not your bride in these unreverent robes; Go to my chamber, put on clothes of mine. Pet. Not I, believe me; thus I'll visit her. Bap. But thus, I trust, you will not marry her. Pet. Good sooth, even thus; therefore have done
To me she's married, not unto my clothes;
Could I repair what she will wear in me,
As I can change these poor accoutrements,
'Twere well for Kate, and better for myself.
But what a fool am I, to chat with you,
When I should bid good-morrow to my bride,
And seal the title with a lovely kiss?
[Exeunt Petruchio, Grumio, and Biondello.
Tra. He hath some meaning in his mad attire:
We will persuade him, be it possible,
To put on better ere he go to church.
Bap. I'll after him, and see the event of this.
Tra. But, sir, to her love concerneth us to add
Her father's liking: Which to bring to pass,
As I before imparted to your worship,
I am to get a man, whate'er he be,
It skills not much; we'll fit him to our turn, -
And he shall be Vincentio of Pisa;
And make assurance, here in Padua,
Of greater sums than I have promised.
So shall you quietly enjoy your hope,
And marry sweet Bianca with consent.
Luc. Were it not that my fellow schoolmaster
Doth watch Bianca's steps so narrowly,
'Twere good, methinks, to steal our marriage;
Which once perform'd, let all the world say-no,
I'll keep mine own, despite of all the world.
Tra. That by degrees we mean to look into,
And watch our vantage in this business:
We'll overreach the greybeard, Gremio,
The narrow-prying father, Minola;
The quaint musician, amorous Licio;
All for my master's sake, Lucentio, -
Signior Gremio! came you from the church?
Gre. As willingly as e'er I came from school.
Tra. And is the bride and bridegroom coming
home?
Gre. A bridegroom, say you? 'tis a groom, indeed,
A grumbling groom, and that the girl shall find.
Tra. Curster than she? why, 'tis impossible.
Gre. Why, he's a devil, a devil, a very fiend.
Tra. Why, she's a devil, a devil, the devil's dam.
Gre. Tut! she's a lamb, a dove, a fool to him.
I'll tell you, sir Lucentio; When the priest
Should ask if Katharine should be his wife,
Ay, by gogs-wouns, quoth he; and swore so loud,
That, all amaz'd, the priest let fall the book:
And, as he stoop'd again to take it up,
The mad-brain'd bridegroom took him such a cuff,
That down fell priest and book, and book and priest;
Now take them up, quoth he, if any list.
Tra. What said the wench, when he arose again?
Gre. Trembled and shook; for why, he stamp'd,
As if the vicar meant to cozen him.
But after many ceremonies done,
He calls for wine:-A health, quoth he; as if
He had been aboard, carousing to his mates
After a storm:-Quaff'd off the muscadel,
And threw the sops all in the sexton's face;
Having no other reason, -
But that his beard grew thin and hungerly,
And seem'd to ask him sops as he was drinking.
This done, he took the bride about the neck;
And kiss'd her lips with such a clamorous smack,
That, at the parting, all the church did echo.
I seeing this, came thence for very shame;
And after me, I know, the rout is coming:
Such a mad marriage never was before:
Hark, hark! I hear the minstrels play. [Musick.
Enter Petruchio, Katharina, Bianca, Baptista,
Hortensio, Grumio, and Train.
Pet. Gentlemen and friends, I thank you for your pains:
I know, you think to dine with me to-day,...
And have prepar'd great store of wedding cheer;
But so it is, my haste doth call me hence,
And therefore here I mean to take my leave..
Bap. Is't possible, you will away to night?
Pet. I must away to-day, before night come:-
Make it no wonder; if you knew my business,
You would entreat me rather go than stay.
And, honest company, I thank you all,
That have beheld me give away myself
To this most patient, sweet, and virtuous wife:
Dine with my father, drink a health to me;
For I must hence, and farewel to you all.
Tra. Let us entreat you stay 'till after dinner.
Pet. I am content you shall entreat me stay;
But yet not stay, entreat me how you can.
Kath. Now, if you love me, stay.
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