Mal. Go to; thou art made, if thou desirest to be so;- hereafter. Mal. If not, let me see thee a servant still. Enter Servant. Ser. Madam, the young gentleman of the count Orsino's is returned; I could hardly entreat him back: he attends your ladyship's pleasure. Oli. I'll come to him.[Exit Servant.] Good Maria, let this fellow be looked to. Where's my cousin Toby? Let some of my people have a special care of him; I would not have him miscarry for the half of my dowry. [Exeunt Olivia and Maria. Mal. Oh, ho! do you come near me now? no worse man than sir Toby to look to me?This concurs directly with the letter: she sends him on purpose, that I may appear stubborn to him; for she incites me to that in the letter. Cast thy humble slough, says she;-be opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants,- let thy tongue tang with arguments of state, put thyself into the trick of singularity; and, consequently, sets down the manner how; as, a sad face, a reverend carriage, a slow tongue, in the habit of some sir of note, and so forth. I have limed her; but it is Jove's doing, and Jove make me thankful! And, when she went away now, Let this fellow be looked to: fellow! not Malvolio, nor after my degree, but fellow. Why every thing adheres together; that no dram of a scruple, no scruple of a scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous or unsafe circumstance,- What can be said? Nothing, that can be, can come between me and the full prospect of my hopes. Well, Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked. Re-enter MARIA, with Sir TOBY BELCH, and FABIAN. Sir To. Which way is he, in the name of sanctity? If all the devils in hell be drawn in little,and Legion himself possessed him, yet I'll speak to him. Fab. Here he is, here he is!-How is't with you, sir? how is't with you, man? Mal. Go off; I discard you; let me enjoy my private; go off! Mar. Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him! did not I tell you?-Sir Toby, my lady prays you to have a care of him. Mal. Ah, ha! does she so? Sir To. Go to,go to ! peace,peace, we must deal gently with him; let me alone!- How do you, Malvolio? how is't with you? What, man! defy the devil! consider, he's an enemy to mankind. Mal. Do you know what you say? Mar. La you, an you speak ill of the devil, how he takes it at heart! Pray God, he be not bewitched! Fab. Carry his water to the wise woman. Mar. Marry,and it shall be done to-morrow morning, if I live. My lady would not lose him for more than I'll say. Sir To. Fr'ythee, hold thy peace; this is not the way! Sir To. Is't possible? Fab. If this were played upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction. Sir To. His very genius hath taken the infection of the device, man. Mar. Nay,pursue him now; lest the device take air, and taint. Fab. Why, we shall make him mad, indeed! Mar. The house will be the quieter. Sir To. Come, we'll have him in a dark room, and bound. My niece is already in the belief, that he is mad; we may carry it thus, for our pleasure, and his penance, till our very pastime, tired out of breath, prompt us to have mercy on him: at which time, we will bring the device to the bar, and crown thee for a finder of madmen. But see, but see! Enter Sir ANDREW Ague-cheek. Sir And. Ay, is it, I warrant him: do but read. Sir To. Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind, why Ido call thee so, for I will show thee no reason for't. Fab. A good note: that keeps you from the blow of the law. Sir To. Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in my sight she uses thee kindly: but thou liest in thy throat, that is not the matter I challenge thee for. Fab. Very brief, and exceeding good senseless. Sir To. Iwill way-lay thee going home; where if it be thy chance to kill me, Fab. Good. Sir To. Thou killest me like a rogue and a villain. Fab. Still you keep o' the windy side of the law: good. Sir. To. Fare thee well; and God have mercy upon one of our souls! He may have mercy upon mine; but my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy sworn enemy. Andrew AGUE-CHEEK. Sir To. If this letter move him not, his legs cannot: I'll give't him. Mar. You may have very fit occasion for't; he is now in some commerce with my lady, and will by and by depart. Sir To. Go, sir Andrew; scout me for him at the corner of the orchard, like a bum-bailiff: so soon as ever thou seest him, draw; and, as thou drawest, swear horrible; for it comes to pass oft, that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply twanged off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earned him. Away! Sir And. Nay, let me alone for swearing! [Exit. Sir To. Now will not I deliver his letter: for the behaviour of the young gentleman gives him out to be of good capacity and breeding; his employment between H his lord and my niece confirms no less; therefore this what my offence to him is; it is something of my ne- Enter OLIVIA and VIOLA. Fab. Here he comes with your niece: give them way, [Exeunt Sir Toby, Fabian, and Maria. Vio. With the same haviour, that your passion bears, Oli. Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my picture; Vio. Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter? Vio. Nothing but this, your true love for my master. Vio. I will acquit you. Oli. Well, come again to-morrow! Fare thee well! Re-enter Sir TOBY BELCH, and FABIAN. [Exit. Vio. I shall be much bound to you for't: I am one, that would rather go with sir priest, than sir knight: I care not who knows so much of my mettle. [Exeunt. Re-enter Sir TOBY with Sir ANDREW. I Sir To. That defence thou hast, betake thee to't: of what nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, know not; but thy intercepter, full of despite, bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the orchard end: dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful, and deadly. Sir To. Why, man, he's a very devil! I have not seen such a virago. I had pass with him, rapier, scabmortal motion, that it is inevitable; and on the anbard, and all, and he gives me the stuck-in with such a swer,he pays you as surely as your feet hit the ground they step on. They say, he has been fencer to the Sophy. Vio. You mistake, sir; I am sure, no man hath any quarrel to me; my remembrance is very free and clear from any image of offence done to any man. Sir And. Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him! Sir And. Plague on't; an Ithought he had been valiant, and so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him damned ere I'd have challenged him. Let him let the matter slip, and I'll give him my horse, grey Capilet. Sir To. You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore, if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your guard; for your opposite hath in him what youth, strength, skill, and wrath, can furnish man withal. Vio. I pray you, sir, what is he? Sir To. I'll make the motion: stand here, make a good show on't; this shall end without the perdition of souls: marry, I'll ride your horse as well as I ride [Aside. you. I Re-enter FABIAN and VIOLA. have his horse[to Fab.]to take up the quarrel; I have persuaded him the youth's a devil. you. Fab. He is as horribly conceited of him; and pants, Sir To. He is knight, dubbed with unhacked rapier, Sir To. Sir, no; his indignation derives itself out of Vio. This is as uncivil, as strange. I beseech you, [Draws. [Drawing. Enter ANTONIO. Enter two Officers. Sir. And. Marry, will I, sir; and, for that I pro mised you, I'll be as good as my word: he will bear you easily, and reins well. 10ff. This is the man; do thy office. 20ff. Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit Of count Orsino. Ant. You do mistake me, sir. 10ff. No, sir, nojot; I know your favour well, Though now you have no sea-cap on your head. Take him away! he knows, I know him well. Ant. I must obey. This comes with seeking you; Makes me to ask you for my purse: it grieves me 20ff. Come, sir, away! Ant. I must entreat of you some of that money. For the fair kindness you have show'd me here, I'll lend you something: my having is not much; Ant. Will you deny me now? Is't possible, that my deserts to you Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery, Vio. I know of none; Nor know I you by voice, or any feature: I hate ingratitude more in a man, Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness, Ant. O Heavens themselves! 20ff. Come, sir, I pray you, go. Ant. Let me speak a little. This youth, that see here, Isnatch'd one half out of the jaws of death; And to his image, which, methought, did promise you 1 Off. What's that to us? The time goes by; away! Ant. Lead me on. [Exeunt Officers with Antonio. Sir To. Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian; we'll whisper o'er a couplet or two of most sage saws. Vio. He nam'd Sebastian; I my brother know Yet living in my glass; even such, and so, In favour was my brother; and he went Still in this fashion, colour, ornament, For him I imitate: O, if it prove, Tempests are kind, and salt waves fresh in love! [Exit. Sir To. A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward than a hare: his dishonesty appears, in leaving his friend here in necessity, and denying him; and for his cowardship, ask Fabian. Fab. A coward, a most devout coward, religious in it. Sir And. 'Slid, I'll after him again, and beat him. SCENE I.- The Street before Olivia's house. Clo. Will you make me believe, that I am not sent for you? Seb. Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow! Let me be clear of thee! Clo. Well held out, i'faith! No, I do not know you; nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with her; nor your name is not master Cesario; nor this is not my nose neither. - Nothing, that is so, Thou know'st not me. Clo. Vent my folly! He has heard that word of some great man, and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world, will prove a cockney. - I pr'ythee now, ungird thy strangeness, and tell me, what I shall vent to my lady; shallI vent to her, that thou art coming? Seb. I pr'ythee, foolish Greek, depart from me; There's money for thee; if you tarry longer, I shall give worse payment. Clo. By my troth, thou hast an open hand! These wise men, that give fools money,get themselves a good report after fourteen years purchase. Enter Sir ANDREW, Sir TOBY, and FABIAN. Sir And. Now, sir, have I met you again? there's for you. [Striking Sebastian. Seb. Why, there's for thee, and there, and there! [Beating Sir Andrew. Are all the people mad? Sir To. Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagger o'er the house! Clo. This will I tell my lady straight: I would not be in some of yor coats for two-pence. [Exit Clown. Sir To. Come on, sir; hold. [Holding Sebastian. work with him; I'll have an action of battery against Sir And. Nay, let him alone, I'll go another way to him, if there be any law in Illyria: though I struck him first, yet it's no matter for that. Seb. Let go thy hand! Sir To. Come, sir, I will not let you go. Come, my young soldier, put up your iron: you are well fleshed; come on! Seb. I will be free from thee. What would'st thou now? If thou dar'st tempt me further, draw thy sword! [Draws. Sir To. What, what? Nay, then I must have an ounce or two of his malapert blood from you. [Draws. Enter OLIVIA. Oli. Hold, Toby; on thy life, I charge thee, hold! Sir To. Madam? Oli. Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch, Be not offended, dear Cesario :- [Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Fabian. This ruffian hath botch'd up, that thou thereby Seb. What relish is in this? how runs the stream? Oli. Nay, come, I pr'ythee: 'would thou'dst be rul'd Oli. O, say so, and so be! SCENE II. A room in Olivia's house. Enter MARIA and Clown. Mar. Nay, I pr'ythee, put on this gown, and this beard; make him believe, thou art sir Topas the curate; do it quickly: I'll call sir Toby the whilst. [Exit Maria. Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in't; and I would I were the first, that ever dissembled in such a gown. I am not fat enough to become the function well; nor lean enough to be thought a good student: but to be said, an honest man, and a good housekeeper, goes as fairly, as to say, a careful man, and a great scholar. The competitors enter. thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, Sir To. My most exquisite sir Topas! Mar. Thou might'st have done this without thy Enter Sir TOBY BELCH and MARIA. Sir To. Jove bless thee, master parson! Clo. Bonos dies, sir Toby: for as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of king Gorboduc, That, that is, is: so I, being master parson,am master parson: for what is that, but that? and is, but is? Sir To. To him, sir Topas. Sir To. To him in thine own voice, and bring me word Clo. What, hoa, I say,—Peace in this prison! Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, good sir Topas, go to my lady. Clo. She loves another—Who calls, ha? I Clo. Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits? Mal. They have here propertied me; keep me in darkness, send ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to face me out of my wits. Clo. Advise you what you say; the minister is here.Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore ! endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble. Mal. SirTopas,—— Clo. Maintain no words with him, good fellow. Who, I, sir? not I, sir. God b'wi'you, good sir Topas. good-Marry, amen.-I will, sir, I will. Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man? talkest thou nothing but of ladies? Sir To. Well said, master parson. Mal. Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged: sir Topas, do not think, I am mad; they have laid me here in hideous darkness. Clo. Fye, thou dishonest Sathan! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones, that will use the devil himself with courtesy: say'st thou, that house is dark? Mal. As hell, sir Topas. Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows transparent as barricadoes, and the clear stones towards the south-north are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction! Mal. I am not mad, sir Topas; I say to you, this house is dark. Clo. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness, but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled, than the Egyptians in their fog. Mal. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never man thus abused: I am no more mad than you are; make the trial of it in any constant question. Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras, concerning wild-fowl? Mal. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird. Clo. What thinkest thou of his opinion? Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion. Mal. Fool, fool, fool, I say, Clo. Alas, sir, be patient. What say you, sir? I am shent for speaking to you. Mal. Good fool, help me to some light, and some paper; I tell thee, I am as well in my wits, as any man in Illyria. Clo. Well-a-day,-that you were, sir! Mal. By this hand, I am! Good fool, some ink, paper, and light, and convey what I will set down to my lady; it shall advantage thee more, than ever the bearing of letter did. Clo. Fare thee well! Remain thou still in darkness: thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits; and fear to kill a woodcock, lesti I am gone, sir, Like to the old vice, [Exit. SCENE III.-Olivia's garden. Seb. This is the air; that is the glorious sun; Yet there he was; and there I found this credit, And wrangle with my reason, that persuades me Or else the lady's mad; yet, if 'twere so, She could not sway her house, command her followers, me, Oli Blame not this haste of mine! If you mean well, vens so shine, That they may fairly note this act of mine! and Clo. But that it would be double-dealing, sir, I would you could make it another. Duke. O, you give me ill counsel. Clo. Put your grace in your pocket, sir, for this once, and let your flesh and blood obey it. Duke. Well, I will be so much a sinner to be a doubledealer; there's another. Clo. Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play; and the old saying is, the third pays for all: the triplex, sir, is a good tripping measure; or the bells of St Bennet, sir, may put you in mind: one, two, three. Duke. You can fool no more money out of me at this throw if you will let your lady know, I am here to speak with her, and bring her along with you, it may awake my bounty further. Clo. Marry, sir, lullaby to your bounty, till I come again. Igo, sir; but I would not have you to think, that my desire of having is the sin of covetousness: but, as you say, sir, let your bounty take a nap, I will awake [Exit Clown. it anon. Enter ANTONIO and officers. As black as Vulcan, in the smoke of war: A bawbling vessel was he captain of, For shallow draught, and bulk, unprizable; That very envy, and the tongue of loss, Cry'd fame and honour on him.-What's the matter? That took the Phoenix, and her fraught, from Candy; When your young nephew Titus lost his leg: [Exeunt. SCENEI.-The street before Olivia's house. Fab. Now, as thou lovest me, let me see his letter. Clo. Do not desire to see this letter. Vio. He did me kindness, sir; drew on my side; Duke. Notable pirate! thou salt-water thief! Ant. Orsino, noble sir, Be pleas'd that I shake off these names you give me ; Though, I confess, on base and ground enough, Fab. That is, to give a dog, and, in recompense, de- That most ungrateful boy there, by your side, Enter Duke, VIOLA, and Attendants. Clo. Truly, sir, the better for my foes, and the worse Duke. Just the contrary; the better for thy friends. Clo. Marry, sir, they praise me, and make an ass of me; now, my foes tell me plainly I am an ass: so that by my foes,sir,I profit in the knowledge of myself; and by my friends I am abused: so that, conclusions to be as kisses, if your four negatives make your two affirmatives, why, then the worse for my friends, and the better for my foes. Duke. Why this is excellent! Clo. By my troth, sir, no; though it please you to be of my friends. one Duke. Thou shalt not be the worse for me; there's gold. From the rude sea's enrag'd and foamy mouth Vio. How can this be? Duke. When came he to this town? Enter OLIVIA and Attendants. |