Abbildungen der Seite
PDF
EPUB

STAGE-COACH PHYSIOGNOMISTS.

By the late Richard Lovell Edgeworth, Esq.

I LIVE upon the edge of a small common, through which a great road leads to the metropolis. Nearly twenty stage coaches pass near my door, every day; and it is one of my favourite amusements, when I have leisure, to get into one of these vehicles, if I like the looks of the passengers, and to proceed with them, as long as I find any thing in their conversation that is either new or agreeable. I have sometimes, changed my coach ten times in one day, without meeting a single person that afforded any materials for observation, or any circumstances worth remembering. I was, however, uncommonly fortunate in one of my late excursions.

On a fine day, in the beginning of summer, when the weather was neither too hot nor too cold, when the glasses on both sides of the coach were, by tacit consent, left open, and when neither the weather nor the roads were such as to occupy the attention of my fellow travellers, they, by degrees, entered into conversation, and amongst various subjects, at last, we fell upon that of physiognomy. A thin pale man, who had the air of a traveller, told us that he had lately been at Zurich, where he had been well acquainted with the famous Lavater. He spoke of him, and of his art, with so much warmth that I, at first, began to suspect that we had got Lavater himself in the coach. I, however, soon perceived, by the accent with which he pronounced French, that he was an Englishman. He mentioned various strange opinions, which his master had not ventured to put in his book, but which were still more absurd than his attributing a character to a dishof tea, and physiognomy to a cockchaffer. At these ridiculous fancies, a fat, fair lady, who sat in one corner of the coach, laughed most heartily. "How is it possible," said she "that a dish of tea can have a character? I have heard say that a cup of coffee may have virtue in fortune-tellingindeed I, once, had a cup of coffee turned upon myself, and it, certainly,

was not much out as to my fortune.— and then, a cockchaffer! Lord bless me! who ever looked at the features of a cockchaffer!-for my part, I can't tell whether he has eyes, nose, and mouth, or not,"

a

"Ma'am," replied the traveller," the cock chaffer is a species of beetle; you have, I suppose, ma'am, seen beetle ?" -"Surely, sir." ma'am, as the immortal Shakespeare says,

And,

The poor beetle that we tread upon, In corporal substance finds a pang as great As when a giant dies! Now, madam, don't you think when this poor beetle feels this corporeal pang, he shews his feelings in his countenance, like any other creature?" This speech was uttered with such emphasis, and with such an air of triumph as plainly shewed that the speaker was much pleased with his own eloquence. A corpulent gentleman, dressed in a snuff-coloured coat, with gilt buttons, with a well-combed bob-wig on his head, and a gold-headed cane in his hand, who sat in the corner of the coach, diagonally opposite to the lady, exclaimed, with much vehemence," the countenance of a cock chaffer!" As I happened to sit opposite to this sententious disputant, my foot narrowly escaped feeling the full force of his argument; for as he spoke, he struck his gold-headed cane, with great violence, against the bottom of the coach, between my feet, which were not half an inch asunder. From this moment of the debate,whenever the red cheeks of my opposite neighbour began to puff, I kept my eye steadily, upon his cane, that I might escape the blow with which he, regularly, finished his argument. I could not help observing to the company, that the extraordinary pretensions of Dr. Lavater and his followers were highly prejudicial to the art which they wished to recommend-that the reasonable claims of true physiognomists had, by these means, lost their just credit-and that, when a man talked of forming an opinion of the characters of strangers from their countenances and manners, he was, immediately, suspected of belonging to a school which he disclaimed.

now

A middle-sized, middle-aged officer, now, for the first time,opened his lips : "I agree with you, entirely," said he; "a man who has seen the world, necessarily, learns those marks, by which the occupations and characters of individuals may, with some certainty, be discovered." A young gentleman of genteel appearance, who was the fifth passenger, and who was wedged between the traveller and the gentleman with the cane, smiled such a dissent to the assertions of the last speaker, that, without waiting for a direct answer, the officer confirmed his own opinion, by offering to put it to immediate trial, if the company would give him leave, provided the gentleman who was Lavater's pupil would give a previous specimen of his skill.

Our fellow travellers, with great good humour, agreed to this proposal; and we all promised that we would, without disguise, acknowledge the truth of any successful discovery which either of the physiognomists should make. The traveller, as I call him, very gravely requested the lady to throw aside her silk cloak, and let him see the shape of her olicranon, or tip of her elbow: to this she, cheerfully, consented; but, upon his desiring to see the bones of her head, beyond the precincts of her nice laced cap, she became refractory, and it was with much difficulty that she was persuaded to shew a glimpse of the os temporum. The owner of the gold-headed cane was next persuaded to push back his wig, a couple of inches, to shew the configuration of his skull. The gentleman who sat between the traveller and this important person, turned his head all manner of ways, to satisfy the anatomical curiosity of the disciple of Lavater--and I, also, submitted my occiput and sinciput to every investigation that he required. Bnt in no one instance did he give, satisfaction. He determined, from the conformation of the lady's elbow and temples, that she was of West India extraction that the well-bred sensible young man, who sat next him, had a most choleric disposition, indicated by the ossa pregmatis ;--and that, from my osteoloby, I must, necessarily, be of the most

profoundly melancholy temperament.

After having laughed heartily at the failure of the physiognomist of bones, the officer, with a mild countenance, free from all the airs of superior wisdom, addressed himself to the lady, whose sex required his first attentions. "Madam," said he, "I don't pretend to make any discovery, when I say that you are of a good-humoured and good-natured disposition: that every child could immediately perceive, in your countenance, I pretend to know, only, what have been your ordinary occupations, and what has been the general course of your life; but, in doing so, I fear to offend. If you will promise to forgive me, with your usual good-nature, if I guess right, I will submit to be upbraided as much as you please if I am wrong." The lady having promised all that was required, the officer told her that she had been the mistress of some publichouse,-whether of a coffee-house,inn, or tavern, he could not precisely tell, but he supposed the former. "Well, sir," says she, " and suppose I have! I hope there is no harm in that! I don't see why people should be so curious about other people's affairs. I suppose, sir, you took care to inquire who we all were, before you got into the coach." From this the gentleman readily exculpated himself, by calling to our recollection his having been taken up at Kensington turnpike. The lady continued to vent her displeasure, in angry tones, notwithstanding we all reminded her of our unanimous engagement not to be offended with the truth. At length, the comely landlady, whose costly cloathes and genteel address entitled her to pass at least for the wife of a justice of the peace, consented to be pacified, on condition that the officer should tell the means by which he had discovered her occupation.

"Why, madam, I formed my opinion from a very trifling circumstance: I observed that, whenever you began to speak, your right hand immediately applied to one particular spot, near your pocket-hole, upon which place your fingers moved, incessantly, du ring your dicourse. I perceived tha

your fingers, from habit, moved as if they were fumbling amongst a bunch of keys."

"Sir," says the lady, "recovering her good humour, "I acknowledge that you are right; I, for many years, carried a bunch of keys under my apron, (when aprons were the fashion,) and it is likely enough I should get the custom of feeling for the key that would, probably, be wanted."

We were all pleased with this successful effort of rational physiognomy; particularly, the gentleman with the cane, who seemed delighted at the discomfiture of the lady. “I will be hanged," says he, "if you discover who I am; I think I am a bit of a judge upon these subjects, and I do not know a single point about me, from which you could make a good hit."

"Sir," says the officer, "what you have first said would make me suspect that you were upon the turf, notwithstanding your dress and deportment, which would lead me to think that you were a rich merchant, or perhaps an alderman; but a physiognomist depends more upon the category of accident than that of dress. If my art does not deceive me, sir, you are an auctioneer."

"And so I am, sir; but how the devil! did you find that out, you have not heard me utter twenty sentences, since we met, and not one word in my way has escaped my lips."

"That is very true," replied the officer; but, whenever you thought you had a conclusive argument, you, always knocked down the prize in dispute to yourself, with your cane, instead of the usual hammer of business. I appeal to the gentleman opposite to you, who has parried many of your blows with great dexterity." This observation I readily confirmed; and the company joined with me in admiring the sagacity of our fellow-traveller. He passed me over very slightly, observing that, like most idle gentlemen, there was nothing peculiar in my manners. The genteel young man, whom I have described

as the fifth passenger, smiled at this remark, and offering himself to the inquiring eyes of his judge, demanded what he supposed him to be.

"Sir," said the wary officer, "I acknowledge that, for a long time, I was at fault with respect to you; your knowledge of literature, and easy deportment, led me to believe that you were a gentleman of fortune, who lived in the best company; but I am inclined to pronounce that you are a haberdasher or silk-mercer."

"I am, most certainly," said the young man, blushing, "son to Mr.

the silk mercer, Ludgate hill; and I shall, now, be much obliged to you, if you will let me know by what signs and tokens you discovered my occupation."

"Sir," said our hero, "whenever you talked eagerly, you drew the slight switch that is in your hands, through your fingers and thumb, precisely to the length of a yard; and the accuracy with which this motion was repeated convinced me that long practice, alone, could have made you so expert."

The young mercer was much pleased with this explanation; he was more flattered by being known to be a merchant, and, at the same time, to be taken notice of for good manners and good sense, than to pass for a man of the ton, without being supposed to have cultivated his mind. The anatomical physiognomist was the only person, in the company, who felt mortification: by pretending to knowledge beyond the true bounds of his art, he over-looked the obvious indications of character which would have occurred to a common observer: and, though he might not have discovered the occupations of the landlady, the mercer, and the auctioneer, by a bunch of keys, a switch, and a gold-headed cane, he might have divined that the lady was not a West Indian, that the mercer, was not remarkably choleric, and that I was not of the melancholy temperament.

I am aware that what I have written may appear extravagant and improbable-a fate that often befals the relation

Baker

of real incidents, in works of enter- At St. Mary's, Mr. W. Trewolla, to Miss B. tainment. The physiognomical anecdotes which are preserved in the foregoing pages, are however, true.

[blocks in formation]

At St Austle, wife of Mr. W. Coumbe, of twins, one since dead

At Killiow, Mrs. Penpraze, of a son

At Truro, wife of Mr. Perry, Saddler, of a son
At Falmouth, Mrs. R. Broad, of a son
At Halgarrack, Mrs. P. Burell, of a daughter
At Falmouth, the wife of Lieut. Jago, of a son
MARRIAGES-IN FEBRUARY.

At Kenwyn, Mr. J. Rowe, to Miss J. Curtis
At Helston, Mr. Waters, to Miss Penhale
IN MARCH.

At Falmon th, Mr. H. Dimond, to Miss Tink
At St. Austle, Capt. Higgers, to Miss Stephens
At Charlestown, Mr. Davies, to Miss Rickard
At St. Hillary, Mr. Banfield, to Mrs Mills
At St. Gluvias, Mr. J. Seymour, to Miss
Richards

At Falmouth, Mr. Pendar, to Miss Marsham
At Kea, Mr. W. Thomas, to Miss M. Behen ha
At St, Gluvias, Mr. R. Vivian, to Miss R.
Roach

At Camborne, Mr. W. Doniel, to Miss M.
Carnow

DEATHS-IN FEBRUARY.

At Truro, Mr. Prate, aged 68
At Penzance, Mrs. Carthew, Widow
At Launceston, Mrs. Newcombe
At Penzance, Mr. Parker, aged 86
At Penzance, Mrs. Hosking, aged 87
Revd. J. Oliver, Iucumbent of Eglosberry and

Tremain

At Helston, Mrs. Pammer, aged 80
At Falmouth, Miss E. Lawrance, aged 23
At Launceston, Mrs. Medland, aged 87
At Kea, Mr Paul Frances

At Padstow, Capt. J. Harding, aged 63
Near Liskeard, Mr. Shanton, aged 98
At Penzance, Mr. Wallis, Schoolmaster
At Helston, Mrs. Plomer, aged 80
At Redruth, Mr. J. Pemose

IN MARCH.

At Helston, W. Trevenon, Esq. aged 83
At Falmouth, Mr. H. R. Broad, aged 21
At Falmouth, wife of Mr. J. Dyer Olive

At Truro, wife of Mr. W. Perrow

At Penryn, infant daughter of W. Gichard Esq.
At St. Austle, Mrs. Trenwith, aged 25

At Falmouth, Miss Ellen Cotesworth
At Falmouth, infant son of Mr. R. Crosby
At Bodmin, Mr. T. Bank, aged 70.
At Liskeard, Mr. S. Smith, Draper, aged 36
At Grade, Mrs. Ruddle, aged 73

At the south of France, Rev. W. Martin, of the

Methodist connexion

At St. Columb, Miss Catherine Cory

At Falmouth, Capt. Proctor, late of the Wel
lington Packet

At Falmouth, Mr. Rennie, of Mr. Dawson's
Company, of Comediaus

At Launceston, Mrs. Hitchings

At Camelford, Miss Mary Ann Robinson
At Wadebridge, Mrs. F. Robins, aged 73
At St Austle, Mr. R. Williams, aged 48
At St Austle, Miss A. Walkey, aged 62
At Penzance, Mr. S. Rodde, aged 77

Printed and Published by J PHILP, At Falmouth, Mr. J. Studden, to Miss E. Falmouth, and sold by most Booksellers in Vincent

the County

The Selector.

"WE CULL THE CHOICEST."

No. 5.]

ON THE

MAY, 1826.

[blocks in formation]

THERE is something peculiar and portentous in the aspect of the present times; though in this something there can be discovered no omen of mischief, unless the destruction of bigotry and ignorance be considered an evil. It is impossible to reflect on the nature and extent of the various exertions now making by men of distinguished abilities to establish various societies and institutions for the diffusion of knowledge, without being fully convinced, that some extensive changes must inevitably take place in the moral and intellectual world. The progress of the human mind, in this country especially, has been so rapid within these few years, that those changes which transpire in the social condition, moral habits, and general customs of nations, and which are commonly so slow in their operation, as scarcely to be perceived, have become visible both in their progress and effects. The growth of intellect has been unprecedently luxuriant; and this is exhibited in those rapid advances which have been accomplished in civilization, literature, and science. It is truly surprising how varied are the aspects which the human mind presents to us in different circumstances; and how essentially altered are its principles and motives, by a corresponding change in

[blocks in formation]

[Price 3d.

external things. From the barbarian to the most polished courtier, the different grades and castes of character are almost innumerable;-each having principles, distinct and peculiar to itself; cherishing habits, alike assimilated to its moral constitution; and fostering prejudices, errors, and truths, which are congenial to its own nature.

Hense arises the immense diversity of taste, opinion, and habit, which obtain in the present day; here we perceive delineated in the strongest manner, the broad and distinguishing feature of the social character of mankind. Yet amidst all this variety, there exists that which tends to bring man nearer to his fellow man; that which calls into active exercise the best feelings of his nature, and by inducing in the various powers and faculties with which he is endowed a healthful tone and vigour, we are at no loss to discover the origin and cause, of the progressive improvement of the human race. Emulation exerts its influence over the mor matured, with an equal, if not increased strength, as well as over the youthful aspirant after literary fame.

The greater the influence of this powerful principle the more rapid and brilliant will be the subsequent career, and when it is directed by a judicious hand the acquirement of knowledge will be in exact ratio with the wisdom of the plan that is formed; the extent of the influence of the principle itself, and the nature of the object to which it is directed. Let these be combined, and there is no subject, however it may be enveloped in the absurdity of prejudice, or darkened by the clouds of error, but what must

« ZurückWeiter »