Upon my arrival at Bristol, I found a letter from my maid, wherein the informed me that her master was laid up by a violent attack of the gout in his head; that my daughter had taken the small pox; and that my mother had indifcreetly fuffered the child to lie in her arms, as fhe had before permitted my fon, George Metham, to do, which had occafioned fymptoms that Mr. Adair feemed to think dangerous. This obliged me to remeafure back the road I had just come. My anxiety for my mother, whose tenderness for my child had induced her to run such a risk of her health, she not having had that cruel disorder, as already observed, impelling me to ufe the utmost expedition, I ordered two additional horfes to be put to the chaife, and wifhed for wings to haften my journey.

.. When I again reached Marlborough, which was about two o'clock at noon, I found that Mr. Quin was not yet stirring. But as I could not, either from my own feelings, or Mr. Calcraft's, whose impatience I well knew, avoid making the most expeditious return, I would not wait till he got up; but infifting upon his not rising, I chatted by his bedfide till the carriage was announced to be ready.

When my companion and myfelf were feated in the chaife, in the courfe of converfation I found, that though we were both impatient to be in town,

that

that impatience fprung from very different motives. Whilft I was lamenting the cause of my fudden recall, Mrs. Walker was pleafing herfelf with agreeable expectations. Being always above disguise, I had made no fecret to her, as she had so long known every tranfaction of my life, of my having a man of quality as a profeffed admirer, who was both rich and generous.

She from thence concluded, that as

foon as Mr. Calcraft was dead, I might be induced to form a connection with this nobleman, and thereby have it in my power to be more liberal to her than at prefent I could be,

She was the more anxious for this event, as fhe imagined I fhould then enable her to retrieve a lofs she had fustained through her indifcretion. After her first husband, Mr. Delany's death, fhe was unkind enough, though poffeffed of the ability, to refuse affiftance to his fifter, who was rather in diftreffed circumftances. Enraged at this, the fifter commenced a fuit of law against her; and as her only furviving child was now dead, and there was no legitimate heir, fhe gained from her an estate, which her husband had left her for a maintenance. By these interested views were my companion's thoughts agitated during our return, whilft mine were filled with anxiety.

१

As I fhall have occafion to mention Walker and his lordship again in the course of my narrative, I fhall add nothing further relative to them here, but purfue my journey to London.

Upon my arrival in town, I had the happiness to find that the intelligence I had received of my mother's indifpofition was but a falfe alarm. That Mr. Calcraft's gout had only been occafioned by potations ftrong. And that my dear little girl, whom Mr. Adair had attended with unremitted affiduity, was thought by him not to be in fo dangerous a state as was first expected.

There is nothing excites the tender paffions fo much as indifpofition. To a fufceptible mind, a friend or relative labouring under disease and pain, is doubly endeared by the afflictive vifitation. At least such have always been my fenfations. Which induced my dear departed friend, Mifs Conway, to declare, that I fhould make the beft Beguine that ever attended an hofpital. No wonder then that anxiety took entire poffeffion of my mind, when the angel of death feemed to threaten with his dart the little innocent, whofe happiness my own was fo entwined with. Mr. Calcraft appeared to have no apprehen

*An order of nuns, who by their rules are obliged to attend the fick.

fions but for the lofs of beauty in his darling child,

from the disfiguring disease.

Το

This, however, was the leaft of my care. me, a want of attraction in her, seemed rather more defirable. Judging from fad experience, I lamented my own power to please. For though a fenfe of duty enabled me to behave with the utmost propriety towards Mr. Calcraft; and an abfence of almost eighteen months had obliterated all fenfations of tenderness for Mr. Metham; it was with per petual regret I reflected, that I had ever had any qualifications which could have been the means. of my being forced into a connection with a man I never could love.

Cupid has been reprefented by painters, in the attitude of riding upon the most powerful of beasts, and guiding it according to his will. But it never entered into the imagination of these depicting fons of fcience, that Love himself was to be rendered fubfervient to any fway.-He rules with as high a hand as the most defpotic fovereign.-And as it is not in the power of mortals to withstand his fhafts, fo neither is it to direct them.-The union of hearts is a prerogative in which he will not bear the leaft controul.I must therefore ftand acquitted for not being able to bestow my affection on a man, whofe mind the great Uniter of hearts had not fet in unifon with my own. Affection

B 5

Affection might be counterfeited indeed; and it too often is; but the deception cannot laft long. Nor would I forfeit that fincerity I fo much value myself on, to reign the miftrefs of the world.

May you, my dear, when your appointed hour comes (for an appointed hour, they fay, there is for love as well as death), find, in the man you call your's, a foul congenial to your own! And may you never know, like me, what it is to bestow your hand where it cannot be accompanied with your heart!

G. A. B.

LETTER LV.

February 23, 17--

My favourite Sterne, in his Sentimental Journey,

when he fet out in order to wait upon the French minifter at Verfailles, and went to the count de B -'s, exclaims, "I think there is a fatality " in it. I feldom go to the place I fet out for." I have frequently made a fimilar observation (and I think I have hinted fomething of it in a former letter), which is, that our best laid plans are often circumvented. Thus, I fet off for Bristol, agreeable to the account I gave you in my laft, in order to enjoy a few weeks of relaxation from the cares and anxieties