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SECTION XXVIII.

OF FOOLISH SCOFFERS AND BACKBITERS.

Si nous n'avions point de defauts, nous ne prendrions pas tant de plaisir a en remarquer dans les autres.

Some fools I've heard, whose wicked wit, Hath levell'd been 'gainst virtue's fame; But when they thought the goal to hit,

The shaft rebounded to their shame. For oft derision's laugh hath yielded place, To silly shame, so fitting folly's face.

* There is no vice more prevalent than the above, which, not content with slandering, where perhaps the lash is in some degree merited, will equally attack those whose lives are the most irreproachable; for, according to the French proverb, La moitiè du monde prend plaisir a medire, & lautre motiè a croire les medisances; which acts as a sufficient incentive to the garrulity of this class of fools. Yet howsoever the slanderer may conceive himself secure, danger will frequently attend this cacoethes loquendi, for none are more tenacious than those who feel convinced of their own integrity; and it should

Show me the man, who feels endu'd,
With mind so matchless as to say;
"I may insult with laughter rude;

22.

All others' faults, none dares say nay," Till such an one shall bless the human race, The scoffer shall but seal his own disgrace.

Others there are so prone to spite,
That, if they cannot faults descry,
They still must churlish strive to bite,

And wound by telling some mean lie, Which when discover'd, truth resumes her place. And triumph's banish'd from the liar's face.

be remembered, that, " Fame damna majora, quam quæ estimari possuit;" let the fool therefore be prepared for the worst, whose pleasure consists in defamation. I had nearly forgotten to instance one set of men, who, although they pride themselves on their abilities, are notwithstanding the most determined advocates for this species of folly, by which I allude to the occupants of the opposition Bench in the House of Commons; who, while out of place, brand with every opprobrious epithet the very men and measures which they will the next day extol to the very skies, if taken into ministerial favour.

Full oft we find such vile deceit,
Upon itself a curse bestow;

For when expected least 'twill meet,
In him bely'd a deadly foe.

In vain repentance comes; how chang'd his case,

He laughs-but on the wrong side of his face!

L'ENVOY OF THE POET.

If you your scoffing and your wit must deal, And backbite, to ensure the praise of fools; Take special care, for ten to one you'll feel, How dang'rous 'tis to battle with edge tools.

THE POET'S CHORUS TO FOOLS.

Come, trim the boat, row on each Rara Avis, Crowds flock to man my Stultifera Navis.

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Aliena negotia curo, excussus propriis.

SOME oafs there are so condescending,
So vastly fond of men's commending,
So prone at all times to be civil,
As to enact the thing that's evil.

Yet, when they thus the point attain,
And by their loss cause others' gain,
The world at large pursues one rule,
Forgets the favour and the fool*.

* These are a silly tribe of ideots, who find their own concerns in life so vastly smooth, that they must needs meddle in the puddle of other men's disquietudes and follies, which are thereby very frequently transferred from the back of the sufferer to that of the fool who would be meddling; but that the reader may not say that I adduce facts without a proof, let me only ask him if he ever affixed his name to a promissory note for a distressed friend, without having himself to honour it, and on his reply will I

A thousand proofs might be related,
Of time thus idly dissipated;

Yet none so well suits my reflection,
As busy fools at an Election *:

Who think themselves the bless'd of fate,
In dining with the candidate;

Who, when return'd, pursues one rule,
For place discarding rights and fool.

Yet such is not the sole punition;
Of ills oft rise a coalition.

ground my position. Let it not, however, be understood, that I mean to render every man selfish, and a niggard of his kindness, for such is by no means my intention; on the contrary, no man should withhold from extending his hand to support the falling, so long as he can conscientiously say, he neither injures himself or those connected with him: but it is to the stupid fool I would speak, who, discarding every rational caution, will, in despite of reason, clap his neck into the halter.

* The folly of electioneering fools is, perhaps, of all others, the most conspicuous, for not only time is lost, to the prejudice of the man's family who embarks in this species of servitude, but he generally bestows his labour on one, whose first step will be to barter the liberty of his constituents for a place or a pension.

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