should be dead, and you might go shake hands with the hangman.

Hast. The rebuke is just. But I must hasten to relieve Miss Neville! If you keep the old lady employed, I promise to take care of the young one. [Exit. Tony. Never fear me. Here she comes. Vanish! She's got into the pond, and is draggled up to the waist like a mermaid.

Enter MRS. HARDCASTLE.

Mrs. H. Oh, Tony, I'm killed! Shook! Battered to death! I shall never survive it. That last jolt that laid us against the quickset-hedge has done my business.

Tony. Alack, mamma, it was all your own fault. You would be for running away by night, without knowing one inch of the way.

I

Mrs. H. I wish we were at home again. never met so many accidents in so short a journey. Drenched in the mud, overturned in a ditch, stuck fast in a slough, jolted to a jelly, and at last to lose our way. Whereabouts do you think we are, Tony?

Tony. By my guess, we should be upon Crackskull-common, about forty miles from home.

Mrs. H. O lud! O lud! the most notorious spot in all the country. We only want a robbery to make a complete night on't.

Tony. Don't be afraid, mamma, don't be afraid. Two of the five that kept here are hanged, and the other three may not find us. Don't be afraid. Is that a man that's galloping behind us? it's only a tree. Don't be afraid.

Mrs. H. The fright will certainly kill me. Tony. Do you see any thing like a black moving behind the thicket.

Mrs. H. O death!

Tony. No, it's only a cow. mamma! don't be afraid.

No;

hat

Don't be afraid,

Mrs. H. As I'm alive, Tony, I see a man coming towards us. Ah! I am sure on't. If he perceives us, we are undone.

Tony Father-in-law, by all that's unlucky, come to take one of his night walks. [Aside.] Ah, it's a highwayman with pistols as long as my arm. A damned ill-looking fellow.

Mrs. H. Good Heaven defend us! he ap proaches.

Hard. But I heard a voice here; I should be glad to know from whence it came ?

Tony. It was I, Sir, talking to myself, Sir. I was saying that forty miles in three hours was very good going. Hem. As to be sure it was. Hem. I have got a sort of a cold by being out in the air. We'll go in, if you please. Hem.

Hard. But if you talked to yourself, you did not answer yourself. I am certain I heard two voices, and am resolved [Raising his voice.] to find the other out.

lud, he'll murder my poor boy, my darling.Mrs. H. [Running forward from behind.] Oh Here, good gentleman, whet your rage upon me. Take my money, my life, but spare that young gentleman, spare my child, if you have

any mercy.

Hard. My wife! as I am a Christian. From whence can she come, or what does she mean?

good Mr. Highwayman. Take our money, our Mrs. H. [Kneeling.] Take compassion on us, watches, all we have, but spare our lives. We will never bring you to justice, indeed we wont, good Mr. Highwayman.

Hard. I believe the woman's out of her senses. What, Dorothy, don't you know me ?

fears blinded me. Mrs. H. Mr. Hardcastle, as I'm alive! My But who, my dear, could have expected to meet you here, in this frightful place, so far from home?-What has brought you to

follow us?

Hard. Sure, Dorothy, you have not lost your wits. So far from home, when you are within forty yards of your own door. [To TONY.] This is one of your old tricks, you graceless rogue you. [To MRS. H.] Don't you know the gate and the mulberry-tree; and don't you remember the horsepond, my dear?

Mrs. H. Yes, I shall remember the horsepond as long as I live; I have caught my death in it. To TONY.] And is it to you, you graceless varlet, owe all this? I'll teach you to abuse your mother, I will.

Tony. Ecod, mother, all the parish says you have spoiled me, and so you may take the fruits

on't.

Mrs. H. I'll spoil you, I will. [Beats him off. Hard. Ha, ha, ha! [Exit.

SCENE III-A Parlour.

[MRS. HARDCASTLE hides behind a tree in

the back scene.

Enter HARDCASTLE.

Hard. I'm mistaken, or I heard the voices of people in want of help. O, Tony, is that you? I did not expect you so soon back. Are your mother and her charge in safety?

Tony. Very safe, Sir, at my aunt Pedigree's. Hem.

Mrs. H. [From behind.] Ah, death! I find there's danger.

Hard. Forty miles in three hours; sure, that's too much, my youngster.

Tony. Stout horses and willing minds make short journeys, as they say. Hem.

Mrs. H. [From behind.] Sure, he'll do the dear boy no harm.

CASTLE.

Sir C. What a situation am I in! If what you say appears, I shall then find a guilty son. If what he says be true, I shall then lose one that, of all others, I most wished for a daughter.

Miss H. I am proud of your approbation, and to show I merit it, if you place yourselves as I directed, you shall hear his explicit declaration. But he comes.

Sir C. I'll to your father, and keep him to the appointment. [Exit.

Enter MARLOW.

Mar. Though prepared for setting out, I come once more to take leave; nor did I, till this moment, know the pain I feel in the separation.

Miss H. [In her own natural manner.] I believe these sufferings cannot be very great, Sir, which you can so easily remove. A day or two longer, perhaps, might lessen your uneasiness,

Mar. Oh, curse on my noisy head! I never attempted to be impudent yet, that I was not taken down. I must be gone.

Hard. By the hand of my body, but you shall not. I see it was all a mistake, and I am rejoiced to find it. You shall not, Sir, I tell you. I know she'll forgive you. Wont you forgive him, Kate? We'll all forgive you. Take courage, man.

[They retire, she teasing him.

Enter MRS. HARDCASTLE and TONY. Mrs. H. So, so, they're gone off. Let them go, I Hard. Who's gone?

Mar. By Heavens, Madam, fortune was ever my smallest consideration. Your beauty at first caught my eye; for who could see that without emotion. But every moment that I converse with you, steals in some new grace, heightens the picture, and gives it stronger expression. What at first seemed rustic plainness, now appears refined simplicity. What seemed forward assurance, now strikes me as the result of courageous innocence, and conscious virtue. I am now determined to stay, Madam, and I have too good an opinion of my father's discernment, when he sees you, to doubt his approbation.

Miss H. Sir, I must entreat you'll desist. As our acquaintance began, so let it end, in indifference. I might have given an hour or two to levity, but seriously, Mr. Marlow, do you think I could ever submit to a connexion where I must appear mercenary, and you imprudent? Do you think I could ever catch at the confident addresses of a secure admirer?

Mar. [Kneeling.] Does this look like security? Does this look like confidence? No, Madam, every moment that shows me your merit, only serves to increase my diffidence and confusion. Here let ine continue-

Sir C. I can hold it no longer. [Coming forward. Charles, Charles, how hast thou deceived me! Is this your indifference, your uninteresting conversation?

Hard. Your cold contempt; your formal interview? What have you to say now? Mar. That I'm all amazement! What can it❘ mean?

Hard. It means that you can say and unsay things at pleasure. That you can address a lady in private, and deny it in public; that you have one story for us, and another for my daughter.

Mar. Daughter!-This lady your daughter? Hard. Yes, Sir, my only daughter, my Kate. Whose else should she be ?

Mar. Oh, the devil.

Miss H. Yes, Sir, that very identical, tall, squinting lady you were pleased to take me for. [Courtesying] She that you addressed as the mild, modest, sentimental man of gravity, and the bold, forward, agreeable Rattle of the ladies' club, ha, ha, ha!

Mar. Zounds! there's no bearing this.

Miss H. In which of your characters, Sir, will you give us leave to address you? As the faltering gentleman, with looks on the ground, that speaks just to be heard, ar.d hates hypocrisy; or

Mrs. H. My dutiful niece and her gentleman, Mr. Hastings, from town; he who came down with our modest visitor here.

Sir C. Who, my honest George Hastings? As worthy a fellow as lives, and the girl could not have made a more prudent choice.

Hard. Then, by the hand of my body, I'm proud of the connexion.

Enter HASTINGS and MISS NEVILLE

Mrs. H. What! returned so soon? I begin not to like it.

[Aside. Hast. [To HARDCASTLE.] For my late at tempt to fly off with your niece, let my present confusion be my punishment. We are now come back, to appeal from your justice to your humanity. By her father's consent I first paid her my addresses, and our passions were first founded in duty.

Miss N. Since his death, I have been obliged to stoop to dissimulation to avoid oppression. In an hour of levity, I was ready even to give up my fortune to secure my choice. But I'm now recovered from the delusion, and hope from your tenderness what is denied me from a nearer connexion.

Hard. Be it what it will, I'm glad they are come back to claim their due. Come, hither, Tony, boy. Do you refuse this lady's hand, whom I now offer you?

Tony. What signifies my refusing? You know I can't refuse her till I'm of age, father.

Hard. While I thought concealing your age, boy, was likely to conduce to your improvement, I concurred with your mother's desire to keep it secret. But since I find she turns it to a wrong use, I must now declare you have been of age these three months.

Tony. Of age! Am I of age, father?
Hard. Above three months.

Tony. Then you'll see the first use l' make of my liberty. [Taking MISS NEVILLE'S hand.] Witness all men by these presents, that I, Anthony Lumpkin, Esquire, of Blank place, refuse you, Constantia Neville, spinster, of no place at all, for my true and lawful wife. So Constantia Neville may marry whom she pleases, and Tony Lumpkin is his own man again.

Sir C. O brave squire !
Hast. My worthy friend!
Mrs. H. My undutiful offspring!

Mar. Joy, my dear George, I give you joy sincerely. And could I prevail on my little tyrant here to be less arbitrary, I should be the happiest man alive, if you would return me the favour.

Hast. [To Miss HARDCASTLE.] Come, Madam, you are now driven to the very last scene of all your contrivances. I know you like him, I'm sure he loves you, and you must and shall have him.

Hard. [Joining their hands.] And I say so too. And, Mr. Marlow, if she makes as good a wife as she has a daughter, I don't believe you'll ever repent your bargain. So now to supper. To-morrow we shall gather all the poor of the parish about us, and the mistakes of the night shall be crowned with a merry morning; so, boy, take her: and as you have been mistaken in the mistress, my wish is, that you may never be mistaken in the wife. [Exeunt.

35*

very fine names to be sure, but they are mere visiting acquaintance; we know their names indeed, talk of 'em sometimes, and let 'em knock at our doors, but we never let 'em in, you know.

[Looking roguishly at her. Lady M. I vow, Tittup, you are extremely polite.

Miss T. I am extremely indifferent in these affairs, thanks to my education. We must marry, you know, because other people of fashion marry; but I should think very meanly of myself, if, after I was married, I should feel the least concern at all about my husband.

Lady M. I hate to praise myself, and yet I may with truth aver, that no woman of quality ever had, can have, or will have, so consummate a contempt for her lord, as I have for my most honourable and puissant Earl of Minikin, Viscount Periwinkle, and Baron Titmouse-ha, ha, ha!

Miss T. But is it not strange, Lady Minikin, that merely his being your husband, should create such indifference; for certainly, in every other eye, his lordship has great accomplishments?

Lady M. Accomplishments! thy head is certainly turned; if you know any of em, pray let's have 'em; they are a novelty, and will amuse me. Miss T. Imprimis, he is a man of quality. Lady M. Which, to be sure, includes all the cardinal virtues-poor girl! go on!

Miss T. He is a very handsome man.
Lady M. He has a very bad constitution.
Miss T. He has wit.

Lady M. He is a lord, and a little goes a great

way.

Miss T. He has great good nature. Lady M. No wonder-he's a fool.

Tittup ever after-you'll excuse me, cousin". -and so he left me.

Lady M. O, the barbarian!
Enter GYMP.

Gymp. A card, your Ladyship, from Mrs. Pewitt.

Lady M. Poor Pewitt! if she can be but seen at public places, with a woman of quality, she's the happiest of plebeians. [Reads the card.

"Mrs. Pewitt's respects to Lady Minikin, and Miss Tittup; hopes to have the pleasure of attending them to Lady Filligree's ball this evening. Lady Daisey sees masks." We'll certainly attend her-Gymp, put some message cards upon my toilet, I'll send an answer immediately; and tell one of my footmen, that he must make some visits for me to-day again, and send me a list of those he made yesterday: he must be sure to call at Lady Pettitoes, and if she should unluckily be at home, he must say that he came to inquire after her sprained ancle.

Miss T. Ay, ay, give our compliments to her sprained ancle.

Lady M. That woman's so fat, she'll never get well of it, and I am resolved not to call at her door myself, till I am sure of not finding her at home. I am horribly low spirited to-day; do, send your colonel to play at chess with me,since he belonged to you, Titty, I have taken a kind of liking to him; I like every thing that loves my Titty. [Kisses her. Miss T. I know you do, my dear lady.

must assist me to plague my lord a little. [Erit.

Miss T. In his own room, I suppose, reading pamphlets, and newspapers, against the enormities of the times; if he stays here a week longer, notwithstanding my expectations from him, I shall certainly affront him.

Miss T. What do you think the Goth said to me yesterday? one of the knots of his tye hanging down his left shoulder, and his fringed cravat nicely twisted down his breast, and thrust through his gold button-hole, which looked exactly like my little Barbet's head in his gold collar-"Niece Tittup," cries he, drawing himself up, "I protest against this manner of conducting yourself, both at home and abroad." What are your objections, Sir John? answered I, a little pertly. "Various and manifold," replied he; 68 have no time to enumerate particulars now, but I will venture to prophesy, if you keep whirling round in the vortex of Pantheons, Operas, Festinos, Coteries, Masquerades, and all the Devilades in this town, your head will be giddy, down you will fall, lose the name of Lucretia, and be called nothing but

space of fifteen months!-we went out of England, a very awkward, regular, good English family! but half a year in France, and a winter passed in the warmer climate of Italy, have ripened our minds to every refinement of ease, dissipation, and pleasure.