frmed by you; but as your Honour knows of every thing that is afloat, I hope you will send me a line at the Bowl of Grog. Let me know whether you think the Duke of York will be able to repair his damages, and tack about again. I hope to make another voyage at the prefent high wages. I am your humble fervant to command, A DIALOGUE. [From the Morning Chronicle.] Do you not fee thofe men upon the heath?-A ftrange, four-looking gang, with a parfon at their head: John Bull. I think I do; but I am fomewhat nearfighted. Alarmifts. There have been many robberies committed on this heath formerly. John Bull. So I am told. Alarmifts. You heard of the terrible fire last night over the river at Gaulftown? John Bull. I did. Alarmifts. A moft fhocking fact-fuppofed to have been fet on fire by the gipfies. There was horrid plundering and murdering; and feveral women and children found roasted in the rubbish. John Bull. Indeed! Alarmifts (fignificantly). Thofe people must be the very gipfies. John Bull. They are coming this way, fure enough. Alarmifts. Highwaymen of the worst fort! You had better be upon your guard. Houfebreakers, footpads, pickpockets, fortunetellers, all in one! There are feveral foreign ruffians come over lately to join them. John Bull. I have a deal of property about me. Alarmifts. Alarmifts. The foldiers are very near;. we had better fee them to ftand by us. John Bull. Ay, do, do.. A By-ftander. Really, Sir, there is no danger. John Bull. No danger, wretch! I fuppofe you are in league with the rogues. Precaution is always pru dence. Alarmifts (feverally). Let me take charge of your watch, Sir-Give me your gold, Sir.-I'll keep your pocket-book-thefe bank-notes are better deftroyed, Sir.-Will you not take out your buckles too? John Bull. You are really very kind, Gentlemen— but now I begin to fee the men plainer, I think I know them. O yes, perfectly. They are only the people that come from the Dipper's meeting. You may return me my property, Gentlemen. of. Alarmifts. That, Sir, is impoffible; 't is all disposed John Bull. Difpofed of! How difpofed of? I might as well have given it to thofe poor fellows. 'T is all one to me whom I am robbed by. Alarmifts. True, Sir; but it is not all one to us. CHINESE LETTER. FROM FI-TI-LI, IN LONDON, TO HIS FRIEND LING CHING-SING, AT PEKIN Tranflated from the Original. [From the Gaze.teer.] Ling-ching-fing, my Friend, * I AM forry that I cannot give thee a more favourable account of these iflanders than what thou wilt find in this letter. I expected to meet with a very polished *This letter appeared a few days after Lord Howe's victory on the ift of June. people; people; but I fear they are far, very far indeed, from a ftate of civilization. One of their principal marks of barbarism is their fondnefs for war; for I understand that they are always either engaged in hoftilities with fome nation or other, or employed in preparations to attack their neighbours. In this their paffion there is one thing very curious; which is, that at the beginning of a war, they always think it the fineft, the moft glorious, and the most neceffary thing in the world: but, at the end of feven or eight years, and by the time they have spent all their money, they begin to feratch their heads, and to difcover that they have been fighting about they know not what, or at beft about some bubble that they have loft fight of during the conteft. The fun has now performed one great revolution and a half fince the governors of this ifland, which is the corn-market of half Europe, forbade their subjects to fell any wheat to a neighbouring nation called the French. They faid they were very kindly difpofed towards the French; they did not mean them any harm; they only wished to ftarve them. This the French, however, did not understand; and, added to fome other provocations, it brought on a war between the two countries, which continues to be carried on with the greateft fury. A few days ago, news was brought, that their fleet had fought with that of the enemy, and had taken fix of their great war-junks. I thought that, upon the obtaining of fuch an advantage, they would have gone quietly, as we fhould do in China, to compliment and congratulate their friends, and that they would have afterwards retired to reft with a mixed fentiment of pleafure and pain; for the damaged junks of the French were purchased with the blood of a thousand of their countrymen. But, inftead of that, for three fucceffive nights, they ran about the streets, fhouting and roaring like madmén; letting off fire-pans of all fizes; firing crackers, which they learned to make of us Chinese; and breaking the windows, and fetting fire to the houses of the more peaceable inhabitants *. What aftonifhed me moft was, that, during the whole three nights, their government made no attempt to check this riot and devaftation and yet (would you believe it, Ling-chingfing?) these islanders fwear they will not lay down their arms, till the French fhall accept a government of their making! They fay, indeed, as an excufe for the inactivity of their magiftrates, that the windows broken belong to those who are diffatisfied with the abuses that exift in the country. Now, ought they not rather to have broken the windows of thofe degenerate men who are fatisfied with abufes? But every thing in this country runs counter to the current of plain fenfe and reafon. In China, as thou knoweft, when any discontent arifes, the Emperor inquires into its caufe, and orders the Mandarins to be punished, who have oppreffed his children, or infringed their rights. Here, when a great part of the nation complains that the Mandarins of ftate have affumed more power than belongs to them, and encroached upon the rights of the people, what means doft thou think that they take to cure the discontent ?-Why, the great Mandarins affume more powers, and encroach still further upon the rights of the people! Now, is not this very ftrange, Ling-ching-fing, my friend? When I left Pekin, thou defired ft me to make inquiry into the nature of the religion profeffed by these islanders. My fmall acquaintance with their barbarous idiom has not yet permitted me to investigate this matter fo profoundly as I could with; but I much fear that they are Among others, the house of Earl Stanhope was attacked; the windows were broken, and an attempt made to fet it on fire, by a Church and King mob. addicted addicted to the groffeft Polytheifm. It is true, I have not heard them pofitively admit the existence of more than two or three gods; but I have found, by my own. obfervation, that they have a great number of deities, whom they invoke upon any fudden emergency or dif after: fuch as their god Cur-fit, and their god Sin-kit. Their moft favourite deity, however, feems to be the god Dam-mee; and, if their having him for ever in their mouths be a fign of devotion, the English are the most pious people in the universe. May the one and only God, the great Tien, preferve thee, and fend thee male children, Ling-ching-fing, my friend! FI-TI-LI. A VINDICATION OF THE KING OF GREAT BRITAIN FROM AN ODIOUS COMPARISON WITH THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. SEMPER ego auditor tantum numquamne reponam! Swelling with indignation, I have read, in a late paper, letters from a dangerous and wicked correfpondent, ftating our glorious conftitution to be the fame-with a few deviations, as he expreffes it—as a fanatical Tranfatlantic republic, which, he fays, has tranfplanted every ufeful root-and, among the reft, the Habeas Corpus of our conftitution; leaving us, of courfe, nothing but the branches. This fcholaftic perfon I must refute, after the Socratic mode, by a few plain fhort interrogatories, fuch as true loyalty fuggefts to me: for, with refpect to his " New People"" Growing Governments"-" Permanent Eftates"-" Standing Councils"" Hereditary Effences"-and fuch-like perfumery and haberdashery, I leave him to retail them to his own customers, who are probably more intelligent in fuch wares than I pretend or defire to be. VOL. I. F I will |