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ftancy the year through, it is not only that the foldier might, by too great frequency of fervice, relax in attachment to the bufinefs, but it is alfo to be confidered, whether, by a drain too fuddenly repeated, the inanure might not be rendered defective in quality. Economy likewife muft here interfere, becaufe it would be an expenfe in bounty-money to replace thefe implements of husbandry, as they may be honourably entitled, fhould they be worn out by unconfeionable fcouring. Upon thefe data it will appear, that one hundred thoufand acres may annually be rendered capable of producing the richest crops, at an expenfe to the public fo moderate as not to be worth notice. Ten years, then, will give one million of acres thus improved; and fo on until the whole island fhall be fit to bear afparagus. I have not taken into my account the contributions of the officers in this way, although it is clear their public fpirit will naturally inftigate them to fhew the most active examples in this fervice. That their duty may be pleafing to them, I would, in their cafe, have the nature of the cathartic left entirely to their own difcretion; fo that, where habitual indulgence had rendered calomel, or any other drug, more grateful to them than falts, they might enjoy-provided it be out of their own pocket-the innocent luxury of that preference. I am aware, that all beneficial projects are coldly received at first. It is the prerogative of genius to foar, at once, to a height which ordinary minds cannot attain but by gradual stages and fucceffive efforts. I therefore anticipate the reluctance with which this fcheme will be adopted; for adopted, at length, I am confident it will be, it being impoffible to advance any colourable objection to it. I know that, in thefe days of oftentatious economy, the expenfe of fo comprehenfive a purge will be loudly urged against the measure. At first fight, this argument may have fome degree of weight; though, when it is better examined, it will

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be found unworthy of-confideration. It is not to be fuppofed I fhould lay a plan of this magnitude before the public, without having duly inforned my felf of every circumstance involved in it. The price of purgative falt is not to be estimated by what gentlemen pay to their apothecaries. A chemift of diftinguifhed eminence has pledged himfelf to me, that, whenfoever this plan fhall have received a parliamentary fanétion, he will come forward and offer to contract to purge the army round at five farthings per man for each week. I acknowledge that fuch a contract might add to the Minifter's influence, and be beftowed in return for parliamentary adherence: but this is eafily obviated by lodging the power of granting that contract with the Board of Agriculture, which no man can fuppofe will ever receive a bias from minifterial intimations. Five farthings then being taken as the expenfe of the cathartic, to that fum must be added as much more, for providing the gruel neceffary on the occafion; fo that twopence halfpenny will be the charge of every man's hebdomadary exertion. Multiply this by thirty-five, and it will appear that for three fhillings and fevenpence halfpenny an acre of land will be manured with an efficacy, fuch as probably has never been experienced from the commencement, of tillage to the prefent day. For it is not to be imagined that the operation of manure, fo applied, will confift merely in the inert qualities, howfoever excellent, of the fæces. I am perfuaded, that the energy of mind with which that boon will be bestowed to the earth, muft influence in a furprising degree the nature of the fubftance fo communicated. The charms of fociety in, the function; the heroic impulfe of profeffional ardour; the cheering infpiration of the fife and drum; and, above all, the consciousness of patriotic effort, will infufe a foul into the tribute that is to mingle with the clay, and enable it to impregnate every clod with unexampled fe

cundity.

cundity. Laughing Ceres fhall glitter over the land, yellow as the courfe when the fprang; and the teeming granaries of England fhall bear grateful teftimony to the liberal bowels of her regimented fons. The hufbandman fhall be agreeably aftonished, to find that he has a common caufe with the foldier; and the landed intereft, in Parliament, fhall exult at the amount of army estimates, moved by the Secretary at War. CACOTHRAUSTES,

THE TRAVELLER AND HIS GUIDE.

AN ASIATIC APOLOGUE.

[From the Gazetteer.]

OGUL Alaked, a Perfian merchant, who was fetting off on a long journey, thought that it would be more fafe and eafy if he took a guide." I will take one, "faid he, "of fufficient ftrength to carry my burden, brave enough to affift me in defending myfelf against robbers, and fubtle enough to fee that nobody take advantage of my good faith."

As Arbogad, his neighbour, had all thefe good qualities, he agreed to give him honourable pay, and put his pack upon his fhoulders. During the first three or four days, he kept his purfe himself; but Arbogad affuring him he could make better bargains, and was more on his guard againft impofition, perfuaded him to give it into his care.

The next day, Arbogad, pretending that they were coming into a country infefted by robbers, afked permiffion to take fome money out of the purfe to buy a large fcimitar, his dexterity in the ufe of which he highly vaunted. They had not gone much further, before Ogul Alaked, on waking from a found fleep, found that he was difarmed.

"How is this?" faid he. Arbogad anfwered, that he had taken his fword from him, out of regard to

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his own welfare. "It is a dangerous weapon," added he: you might cut yourfelf with it; and, as you are fubject to mental abfences, you might even difable me; and then who would take care of you?” Ogul Alaked did not find this reafoning perfectly fatisfactory; but as he had the beft opinion of Arbogad, he acquiefced, and they proceeded on their journey with great apparent friendfhip. But, fhortly after, the Perfian remonftrating with his guide on the profufion with which he disposed of his money; Arbogad, by way of aufwer, fhewed him the fcimitar that had been bought under the pretence of defending him; and, on his repeating his complaints, drew it out of the fcabbard, and waved it over his head. Poor Ogul Alaked was obliged to fubmit; and Arbogad, perfifting in the use of the fame powerful argument, appropriated the money to his own ufe, and provided fumptuous fare for himself, while the other was fcarcely allowed the fcraps that remained on the table.

At last he took the pack off his own fhoulders, put it upon that of Ogul Alaked; and, instead of conducting him the way he wanted to go, drove the miferable merchant along the road that beft fuited himfelf.- He that has ears to hear, let him bear!

PRETTY AMUSEMENTS FOR CROWNED HEADS, FOR A CENTURY TO COME *, [From the Morning Chronicle.]

WHEN the combined forces have reinftated the monarchy of France, feen the Monk reftored to

*This whimsical plan of operations appeared very fhortly after we free Englishmen joined the grand confederacy, with a view of forcing the French to abandon the dreadful, though voluntary, flavery of a reprefentative and republican government, and to return to the rational liberty they formerly enjoyed under their Grand Monarque. The rogues "dared kill a king," and were infolent enough to think they could live without one!

his monaftery, and the Nun to her cloifter; brought back the feudal fyftem to the moft abfolute vaffalage, and introduced wooden fhoes and wretchednefs to more than twenty millions of people, they may direct their attention to the Dey of Algiers, and infift upon introducing the Protestant religion into every corner of his black dominions. That point once accomplished, they may fail to Conftantinople, and compel the Grand Turk to throw away his turban, and wear in the room a cocked hat and a pig-tailed periwig: this will be very easily performed; and then they will have nothing to do, but to pay a vifit to the Emperor of China, and advise him kindly, at the point of the bayonet, to embrace Judaism for the good of his immortal foul, and to oblige his fubjects to rife with their b-ks-des foremost. After that, they may step over the Chinese wall; force the Khan of Perfia to keep Lent; and then, turning their attention to the Great Mogul, infist upon qualifying all his fubjects for the Italian Opera, and that they ride with their heads to their horfes' tails. They will then have plenty of leifure upon their hands to pare the lips and pinch the nofes of the Tartars into a decent and becoming form. As to the Hottentots, it will take no trouble at all to make them wear ruffled fhirts and filk ftockings and nothing can be more pleasant to the blacks of Guinea, than compelling them to drefs in fur cloaks, with black filk bags to their hair. Afterwards they can force the Efquimaux Indians to ftudy the Newtonian fyftem, and oblige the Laplanders to have light all the year round.

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