SCANDA L.

[From the Morning Chronicle.]

HOW variously are different people affected by the fame fubject! A late matrimonial fracas being brought on the carpet, at a tea-drinking party at the weft end of the town: 66 Poor woman!" faid a young lady, with a deep figh. "Poor woman! poor woman, indeed! poor man, I think!" replied an old citizen, rather peevishly. "Vile woman " cried an old maid. "We fhall have her in the Commons," faid a civilian. "We shall have her in the papers," faid a politician. She fhould be brought to a white fheet, faid a curate. "She fhould be toffed in a blanket,' exclaimed the old maid. 66 Mercy upon us all!” cried the young one; "and yet, fomehow or other, one cannot fupprefs a figh.""Somehow or other one cannot fupprefs a laugh," cried the civilian: "I fuppofe in the end they must be divorced; and our court fettles all thefe differences." The devil fettles all thefe differences!" roared the citizen. "Moft likely he may," faid a country gentleman.

THE YOUNG LARKS.

Hoc erit tibi argumentum femper in promtu fitum,
Nequid expectes amicos, quod tute agere poffies.

ENNIVS apud GELLIUM, II. 29.

ONCE on a tin, fo fays the parable,
In a fine waving field of arable,
A lark amidst the corn had rear'd her brood;
It would have done you good

To fee how fhe with grain had crammi'd their maws;
And how, with winking eye,

And neck awry,
Panting, they lay behind their burfting craws;
And fearce could chirp, or fay
"Mamma, good day!"

No

No larks of Dunstable were ever fatter,

What then could be the matter?

'T was this: the corn fhe knew was ripe and brown,
The neighbouring fields already down;
And much the prudent mother was afraid
They fhould be forc'd to quit their calm retreat,
And emigrate to fome lefs happy feat.

My dears," fays fhe, "we are betray'd;
Liften, and be upon the watch,

Mind what the farmers fay

From day to day,

And bring it me. A little eaves-dropping

Is now and then a very useful thing.'

"

The little birds rous'd from their ftupid fleeping;
And being very perfect for their age.
In the bleft fyftem of efpionage,
Leaning half o'er the nest

Their fpeckled toad-like breast,

By day, by night, were now alert and peeping.
Next morning, fure enough, the farmer came,
Himself and fon. Quoth he,. "We're much to blame
This corn our husbandry disgraces,
So bearded, ripe, and briftling in our faces;
Next morn to cut it we 'll begin,

And therefore call our neighbours in:

'T is a rare crop !" he faid, and walk'd away.
The little larks, in wild difmay,

Before they went to bed,

In terror told what he had faid.

"This time you need not fear," mamma replies;
"Truft what I fay, by long experience wife."
And fo it prov'd. The neighbours huff'd and chaf'd,
A civil answer scarce vouchlaf'd:

They leave their dinners and their ale,
Sweating beneath the fun of July,
To help two clumfy boors! A likely tale!
Hodge had forgot his diftance, truly.
Hodge fcratch'd his head." Well, let it be !
We now our real friends fhall fee:"
For many a friend the farmer had,
Who all to ferve him would be glad;

And

And eating kin, and Christmas coufins,
The farmer reckon'd them by dozens.
66 Go, tell our friends it must be done,
(This job) before next Friday's fun."
The friends and kinfmen promis'd meeting,
And fent him many a cɔidial greeting.
The little larks were now quite fure
They in a hurry muft decamp.
"Peace!" faid the parent;

"be fecure

That yet you need not tramp:

This bustle only ferves to make me laugh;
Old birds, like me, are never caught with chaff."
Next morn a number of excufes came:
Friend Ralph was feiz'd a little lame;
Friend Simon gone to fell his mare;
Hob to buy cheefe at Stourbridge fair:
Some were detain'd within their houses,
For fear of fever, by their fpoufes;
And coufin John declar'd 't was plain
The glafs foretold a deal of rain:

'Twas not, he thought, with fky fo fickle,
A proper
er time to use the fickle.

"My fon," faid Hodge, now undeceiv'd,
"A ufeful leffon we've receiv'd:

Do thou, before to-morrow's dawn, For thee and me two fickles bring;

We'll help ourselves, whate'er betide.”

66

Now, now, 't is time," the old one cried, "That we were on the wing:

This was the only ftroke I fear'd,"

She faid; and all, before the day appear'd,
Moft wifely were withdrawn.

My tale, I know, is fomewhat old:
We'll try the moral to unfold.
You, who have feather'd well your neft,
Scrips, placemen, penfioners, and Co.,
Living in eafe and clover bleft;"

I grieve to fee you fretting fo,
Running diftractedly about and frighten'd,
At every falfe alarm by fancy heighten'd;
'Tis, without queftion,

Exceeding bad for your digeftion:

Wherefore,

Wherefore, I beg you, hear a little reason,
And keep your terrors for the proper feason.
When, in petitions form'd to footh and flatter,
Beginning with Moft Gracious!

Its loving fubjects hope that Government
Will, in its wisdom, give them full content,
Redreffing all that is vexatious;

"Let not your noble courage be caft down,"
Sons of the filk or the prunella gown!
Its wifdom fcarce will ftir about the matter.
I hope you do not think 't was meant
(A thing fo facred and fo high)
To drudge and labour for the good
Of the poor Swinish Multitude,
Juft like an eagle ftooping to a fly.
Their coarse petitions they 'll be fcarcely able
To bear upon the table;

No, no, depend upon 't, your doom
Will never from this quarter come.
Nor yet, when oppofition-patriots warm,
Raifing of eloquence a form,

In fpeech and writings bold,

Tell us we 're bought and fold,

And thunder out reform,

Need you with fretting, or with fear, grow thinner;
You will not lofe one corporation dinner:

Their tropes are good, it is divine to hear them;
I only fay-you need not fear them.

But fhould the people once begin
Themfelves to put the fickle in;

(The fickle-mind, I fay no more,
For fear of mifrepresentation :)
O fhould John Bull himself prepare:
Of his own crop to take the care,
He, and his fturdy fons together,
Coarse-grain'd, who fear nor wind nor weather,
Your golden days indeed are o'er:
To borough-jobbing then adieu;
Loans, contracts too,

Snug finecures and penfions, all good by!
"No fong, no fupper," then will be the cry:
And foon you'll be no more, I guess,
Than ci-devants, or French Nobleffe.
D 6

FRENCH

FRENCH IMPIETY.

Fall the impieties that have been imputed to the French, the following, which appeared in one of the Paris Papers, is perhaps the most abominable

Converfation between a young Prieft and an old. The young Prieft.-What are you doing, brothers? I am indignant

The old Prieft.-Against whom?

Y. Against every body, and against you.

O. What have I done to offend you?

Y. You have married, and ask me this question! O. Love of morals and of my country induced me to marry. It is faid, and not without reafon, that he who has not a wife of his own, reckons little on the wives of his neighbours; and this fcandal I wifhed to avoid. Befides, freemen cannot be too inuch multiplied; and I am defirous of contributing my mite, according to God's command.

-Y. You are a fchifmatic.

O. That I am not; for I fide with the great family of fociety.

Y. You are unworthy of being a priest.

. Admitted: I do not expect to be one long. Y. And if each of us were to do as you do, who would pray for the faithful?

O. Nobody; which would induce the faithful to pray for themselves.

Ý. And who would fing the praises of the Lord? O. Those who wish to praise the Lord.

Y. Who would confefs?

O. People would do as in the primitive times of Christianity; they would confefs to one another.

Y. Who would fay mass?

O. Jefus Chrift never inftituted mafs.
Y. Who would marry?

O. The