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But if that I am I, then well I know,

Your weeping fifter is no wife of mine,
Nor to her bed no homage do I owe;

Far more, far more, to you do I decline.
Oh, train me not, fweet mermaid 1, with thy note,
To drown me in thy fifter's flood of tears;
Sag, fyren, for thyself, and I will dote:

Spread o'er the filver waves thy golden hairs,
And as a bed I'll take thee, and there lie;
And, in that glorious fuppofition, think
He gains by death, that hath fuch means to die :-
Let love, being light, be drowned if he fink!

is the a wondrous fat marriage.

S. Ant. How doft thou mean, a fat marriage?

S. Dro. Marry, fir, fhe's the kitchen-wench, and all greafe; and I know not what ufe to put her to, but to make a lamp of her, and run from her by her own light. I warrant, her rags, and the tallow in them, will burn a Poland winter: if the lives 'till [doomsday, the 'll burn a week longer than the whole world.

S. Ant. What complexion is the of?

S. Dro. Swart, like my thoe, but her face nothing like fo clean kept: For why, the fweats, a man

Lac. What, are you mad, that you do reason fo?[may go over thoes in the grime of it.

S. st. Not mad, but mated 2; how, I do not know.

Lac. It is a fault that fpringeth from your eye. S. 4. For gazing on your beams, fair fun, being by.

La. Gaze where you should, and that will clear your fight.

5. Ant. As good to wink, fweet love, as look on night.

S. Ant. That's a fault that water will mend. S. Dro. No, fir, 'tis in grain; Noah's flood could not do it.

S. Ant. What's her name?

S. Dro. Nell, fir;-but her name and three quarters (that is, an ell and three quarters,) will not measure her from hip to hip.

S. Ant. Then the bears fome breadth?

S. Dro. No longer from head to foot, than from

Luc. Why call you me, love? call my fifter fo.hip to hip; the is fpherical, like a globe; I could

S. A. Thy fifter's fifter.

Lac. That's my fifter.

S. Ant. No;

It is the telf, mine own felf's better part;

Mine eye's clear eye, my dear heart's dearer heart:
My food, my fortune, and my fweet hope's aim,
My fue earth's heaven, and my heaven's claim.
La. All this my fifter is, or elfe should be.

. Call thyfelf fifter, fweet, for I mean thee:
Thee will I love, and with thee lead my life:
Tea at no husband yet, nor I no wife:
Give me thy hand.

Lac. On, foft, fir, hold you still;

Tu fetch my fifter, to get her good-will. [Exit Luc.
Enter Dromio of Syracufe.

S. Au. Why, how now, Dromio? where run'ft tuc to fatt?

find out countries in her.

S. Ant. In what part of her body stands Ireland? S. Dro. Marry, fir, in her buttocks; I found it out by the bogs.

S. Ant. Where Scotland?

S. Dro. I found it by the barrennefs; hard, in the palm of the hand.

S. Ant. Where France?

S. Dro. In her forehead; arm'd and reverted, making war against her hair 3.

S. Ant. Where England?

S. Dro. I look'd for the chalky cliffs, but I could find no whitenefs in them: but I guefs, it flood in her chin, by the salt rheum that ran between France

and it.

S. Ant. Where Spain?

S. Dro. Faith, I faw it not; but I felt it, hot in

S. Dra. Do you know me, fir? am I Dromio? her breath. an I your man? am I myself?

5. S. Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou at thyelf.

S. Ant. Where America, the Indies?

S. Dra. Oh, fir, upon her nofe, all o'er embellifh'd with rubies, carbuncles, fapphires, declining

5. Ds. I am an afs, I am a woman's man, and their rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain; wha bei myself.

fent whole armadoes of carracks to be ballafted at

S. AL. What woman's man? and how befides her nofe. vef

3. Dra. Marry, fir, befides myself, I am due to a woman; one that claims me, one that haunts me, woe that will have me.

&.der. What claim lays the to thee?

5. Dra. Marry, fir, fuch a claim as you would lay your horfe; and the would have me as a beaft: that, I being a beaft, fhe would have me; but the, being a very beaftly creature, lays claim

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At. What is the?

S. Ant. Where ftood Belgia, the Netherlands ! S. Dro. Oh, fir, I did not look fo low. To conclude, this drudge, or diviner, laid claim to me; call'd me Dromio; fwore, I was affur'd to her; told me what privy marks I had about me, as the mark of my fhoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my left arm, that I, amaz'd, ran from her as a witch: And, I think, if my breaft had not been made of faith, and my heart of steel, fhe had transform'd me to a curtail-dog, and made me turn i'the wheel.

1. A very reverend body; ay, fuch a one as S. Ant. Go, hie thee presently, poft to the road; my not speak of, without he fay, fir-reve-And if the wind blow any way from thore, that: I have but lean luck in the match, and yet I will not harbour in this town to-night.

That is, fweet fyren. That is, confounded. 3 This alludes to her having the French disease. That is, athanced to her.

If any bark put forth, come to the mart,
Where I will walk, till thou return to me.
If every one know us, and we know none,
'Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack, and be gone.
S. Dro. As from a bear a man would run for life,
So fly I from her that would be my wife. [Exit.
S. Ant. There's none but witches do inhabit here;
And therefore 'tis high time that I were hence.
She, that doth call me husband, even my soul
Doth for a wife abhor: but her fair fifter,
Poffefs'd with fuch a gentle fovereign grace,
Of fuch inchanting prefence and difcourfe,
Hath almost made me traitor to myself :
But, left myself be guilty of felf-wrong,
I'll ftop mine ears against the mermaid's fong.
Enter Angelo with a chain.

Ang. Mafter Antipholis ?
S. Ant. Ay, that's my name.

Ang. I know it well, fir: Lo, here is the chain;
I thought to have ta'en you at the Porcupine:
The chain unfinish'd made me ftay thus long.

S. Ant. What is your will, that I fhall do with this Ang. What please yourself, fir; I have made it for you.

S. Ant. Made it for me, fir! I bespoke it not.
Ang. Not once, nor twice, but twenty times
you have:

Go home with it, and please your wife withal;
And foon at fupper-time I'll vifit you,
And then receive my money for the chain.

S. Ant. I pray you, fir, receive the money now,
For fear you ne'er fee chain, nor money more.
Ang. You are a merry man, fir; fare you
well.
[Exit.

S. Ant. What I fhould think of this, I cannot
tell :

But this I think, there's no man is so vain,
That would refuse fo fair an offer'd chain.
I fec, a man here needs not live by shifts,
When in the streets he meets fuch golden gifts.
I'll to the mart, and there for Dromio stay ;
If any fhip put out, then ftrait away.

[Exit.

Mer.

ACT

SCENE I.

The Street.

Enter a Merchant, Angelo, and an Officer.

OU know, fince pentecoft the fum is
due,

γου

And fince I have not much importun'd you;
Nor now I had not, but that I am bound
To Perfia, and want gilders for my voyage:
Therefore make prefent fatisfaction,

Or I'll attach you by this officer..

IV.

Ang. Saving your merry humour, here's the note,
How much your chain weighs to the utmost carrat;
The finenets of the gold, and chargeful fashion;
Which do amount to three odd ducats more
Than I ftand debted to this gentleman:

I pray you fee him presently discharg`d,
For he is bound to fea, and ftays but for it.

E. Ant. I am not furnish'd with the prefent money;
Befides, I have fome bufinets in the town:
Good fignior, take the ftranger to my house,
And with you take the chain, and bid my wife

Ang. Even just the fum, that I do owe to you, Difburfe the fum on the receipt thereof;

Is growing 2 to me by Antipholis:

And, in the inftant that I met with you,

He had of me a chain; at five o'clock,

I fhall receive the money for the fame :

Please you but walk with me down to his house,
I will discharge my bond, and thank you too.
Enter Antipholis of Ephefus, and Dromio of Ephefus,
as from the Courte≈an's.

comes.

Off. That labour you may fave; fee where he
[thou
E. Ant. While I go to the goldfinith's houie, go
And buy a rope's end; that will I beftow
Among my wife and her confederates,
For locking me out of my doors by day.--
But foft, I fee the goldímith-get thee gone;
Buy thou a rope, and bring it home to me.

E. Dro. I buy a thousand pound a year! I buy
a rope!
[Exit Dromio.

E. Ant. A man is well holp up, that trusts to you:
I promised your prefence, and the chain;
But neither chain, nor goldfmith, came to me:
Belike, you thought our love would last too long,

Perchance, I will be there as foon as you." [felf?
Ang. Then you will bring the chain to her your-
E. Ant. No; bear it with you, left 1 come not
time enough.

Ang. Well, fir, I will: Have you the chain about you?

E. Ant. An if I have not, fir, I hope you have ; Or elfe you may return without your money.

Ang. Nay, come, I pray you, fir, give me the
Both wind and tide ftays for this gentleman, [chain;
And I, to blame, have held him here too long.

E. Ant. Good lord, you use this dalliance, to excufe
Your breach of promife to the Porcupine:
I thould have chid you for not bringing it,
But, like a fhrew, you first begin to brawl.

Mer. The hour flcals on; I pray you, fir, dispatch.
Ang. You hear, how he importunes me; the

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now;

If it were chain'd together; and therefore came not. Either fend the chain, or send me by fome token.

1 A coin worth from eighteen-pence to two fhillings. 2 That is, accruing to me.

E. Ant.

E. A. Fie, now you run this humour out of

breath!

Come, where's the chain? I pray you, let me fee it.
Mer. My bufinefs cannot brook this dalliance:
Good fir, fay, whe'r you'll answer me, or no;
If not, I'll leave him to the officer.

E. Art. I answer you! why should I answer you?
Ag. The money, that you owe me for the chain.
E. Ant. I owe you none, till I receive the chain.
Ang. You know, I gave it you half an hour fince.
E. Ant. You gave me none; you wrong me much
to fay fo.

Ag. You wrong me more, fir, in denying it : Confider, how it stands upon my credit.

Mr. Well, officer, arreft him at my suit.
Of. I do ;

And charge you in the duke's name to obey me.
Arg. This touches me in reputation :—
Either confent to pay the fum for me,
Or I attach you by this officer.

E. Ant. Confent to pay for that I never had!
Arrest me, foolish fellow, if thou dar'st.

Ag. Here is thy fee; arreft him, officer;→→
I would not fpare my brother in this cafe,
If he fhould fcorn me fo apparently.

Of. I do arreft you, fir; you hear the fuit.
E. Ant. I do obey thee, till I give thee bail:-
But, firrah, you fhall buy this sport as dear
As all the metal in your shop will answer.
Ang. Sir, fir, I fhall have law in Ephefus,
To your notorious fhame, I doubt it not.

Enter Dromio of Syracufe, from the Bay. S. Dre. Mafter, there is a bark of Epidamnum, That ftays but till her owner comes aboard, Then, fir, fhe bears away: our fraughtage, fir, I have convey'd aboard; and I have bought The oil, the balfamum, and aqua-vitæ. The ship is in her trim; the merry wind Blows fair from land: they stay for nought at all, But for their owner, master, and yourself.

E. Ast. How now! a madman! why, thou peevish sheep,

What fhip of Epidamnum stays for me?

S. Dre. A ship you fent me to, to hire waftage. E. Ant. Thou drunken flave, I fent thee for a rope; And told thee to what purpose, and what end. S. Drs. You fent me for a rope's-end as foon:

You fent me to the bay, fir, for a bark.

E. Art. I will debate this matter at more leisure,
And teach your ears to lift me with more heed.
To Adriana, villain, hie thee ftrait;

Give her this key, and tell her, in the desk
That's cover'd o'er with Turkish tapestry,
There is a purie of ducats; let her send it;
Tell her, I am arrested in the street,
And that thall bail me: hie thee, flave, begone:
On, officer, to prifon, till it come.

[Exeunt.

3. Dre. To Adriana! that is where we din'd, Where Dowfabel did claim me for her husband:

She is too big, I hope, for me to compass.
Thither I muft, although against my will,
For fervants must their master's minds fulfil. [Exit.
SCENE II.

The boufe of Antipholis of Ephefus.

Enter Adriana and Luciana.

Adr. Ah, Luciana, did he tempt thee fo? Might'ft thou perceive aufterely in his eye That he did plead in earnest, yea or no?

Look'd he or red, or pale; or fad, or merrily? What obfervation mad'ft thou in this case, Of his heart's meteors tilting in his face 2? Luc. First he deny'd you had in him no right. Adr. He meant, he did me none; the more my ípight.

Luc. Then swore he, that he was a stranger here. Adr. And true he swore, though yet forfworn he Luc. Then pleaded I for you.

Adr. And what faid he?

[were.

Luc. That love I begg'd for you, he begg'd of me. Adr. With what perfuafion did he tempt thy love? Luc. With words, that in an honest fuit might

move.

Firft, he did praise my beauty; then my speech. Adr. Did'ft fpeak him fair?"

Luc. Have patience, I beseech.

Adr. I cannot, nor I will not, hold me still; My tongue, though not my heart, shall have its will, He is deformed, crooked, old and fere 3, Ill-fac'd, worfe-body'd, shapeless every-where; Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind; Stigmatical in making 4, worse in mind.

Luc. Who would be jealous then of such a one? No evil loft is wail'd when it is gone.

Adr. Ah! but I think him better than I fay,

And yet, would herein others' eyes were worse: Far from her neft the lapwing cries away: [curfe. My heart prays for him, though my tongue do Enter Dromia of Syracufe.

S. Dro. Here, go; the defk, the purfe; sweet now, make haste.

Luc. How, haft thou loft thy breath?
S. Dro. By running faft.

Adr. Where is thy master, Dromio? is he well?
S. Dro. No, he's in Tartar limbo, worse than hell:
A devil in an everlasting 5 garment hath him,
One, whofe hard heart is button'd up with steel;
A fiend, a fairy, pitiless and rough;

A wolf, nay, worse, a fellow all in buff; [termands
A back-friend, a fhoulder-clapper, one that coun-
The paffages of alleys, creeks, and narrow lands;
A hound that runs counter, and yet draws dry-foot
well;

One that, before the judgment, carries poor fouls to hell".

Adr. Why, man, what is the matter?

S. Dro. I do not know the matter; he is 'rested on the cafe.

* Th: is, filly. 2 Alluding to thofe meteors in the sky, which have the appearance of lines of armies meeting in the shock. 3 That is, dry, withered. 4 That is, branded or marked with be token of infamy. 5 A quibble on everlafting, which is the name of a kind of durable stuff. That is, a dungeon, for which hell was the cant term.

Adr. What, is he arrested? tell me, at whofe fuit.I 8. Dra. I know not at whofe fuit he is arrested, well;

But he's in a fuit of buff, which 'refted him, that can tell!

I

Will you fend him, mistress, redemption, the money

in his defk?

Adr. Go fetch it, fifter.This I wonder at,
[Exit Luciana.
That he, unknown to me, fhould be in debt!
Tell me, was he arrested on a band 1?

S. Dre. Not on a band, but on a stronger thing;
A chain, a chain; do you not hear it ring?

Adr. What, the chain? [gone. 7 S. Dro. No, no; the bell: 'tis time that I were It was two ere I left him, and now the clock ftrikes

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91 Adr. As if time were in debt! how fondly doft thou reason?

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S. Ant. I understand thee not,

S. Dro. No? why, it is a plain cafe: he that went like a bafs-viol, in a cafe of leather; the man, fir, that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a fob, and 'refts them; he, fir, that takes pity on decayed men, and gives 'em fuits of durance; he that fets up his reft to do more exploits with his mace, than a morris-pike 2.

S. Ant. What thou mean'st an officer?

S. Dro. Ay, fr, the ferjeant of the band : he, that brings any man to answer it, that breaks his band, one that thinks a man always going to bed, and faith, God give you good reft!

S. Ant. Well, fir, there reft in your foolery, Is there

Any fhips puts forth to-night? may we be gone?

S. Dre. Why, fir, I brought you word an hour fince, that the bark Expedition put forth to-night; and then were you hindered by the ferjeant, to tarry for the hoy, Delay: Here are the angels that you fent for, to deliver you.

S. Ant. The fellow is diftract, and fo am I;

Nous. Dro. Time is a very bankrout, and owes more And here we wander in illufions:

than he's worth, to feason.

Nay, he's a thief too: Have you not heard men say,
That Time comes stealing on by night and day?
If Time be in debt, and theft, and a ferjeant in
the way,

Hath he not reason to turn back an hour in a day?
Enter Laciana.

Adr. Go, Dromio; there's the money, bear it
::. ftrait;

And bring thy master home immediately.

Come, fifter: I am prefs'd down with conceit;

Some bleffed power deliver us from hence
Enter a Courtezan.

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Cour. Well met, well met, mafter Antipholis."
I fee, fir, you have found the goldfmith now:
Is that the chain, you promis'd me to-day? [not!
S. Ant., Satan, avoid! I charge thee, tempt me
S. Dro. Mafter, is this mistress Satan?
S. Ant. It is the devil.

S. Dro. Nay, the is worfe, fhe's the devil's dam & and here the comes in the habit of a light wench: and therefore comes, that the wenches fay, God

Conceit, my comfort, and my injury. [Exeunt.{damn me, that's as much as to fay, God make me a

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Enter Antipholis of Syracufe.

light wench. It is written, they appear to men like angels of light light is an effect of fire, and fire will burn; ergo, light wenches will burn: Come

not near her.

Cour. Your man and you are marvellous merry, fir. [me Will you go with me? we'll mend our dinner here. S. Dro. Mafter, if you do expect spoon-meat, or 3 befpeak a long spoon.

S. Ant. There's not a man I meet, but doth falute
As if I were their well-acquainted friend;
And every one doth call me by my name.
Some tender money to me, fome invite me;
Some other give me thanks for kindnesses;
Some offer me commodities to buy:
Even now a taylor call'd me in his shop,
And thow'd me filks that he had bought for me,
And, therewithal, took measure of my body.
Sure, these are but imaginary wiles,
And Lapland forcerers inhabit here.

Enter Dromio of Syracuse.

S. Dro. Mafter, here's the gold you fent me for: What, have you got the picture of old Adam new apparell'd?

S.Aut. What gold is this? What Adam doft thou

· mean?

S. Dro. Not that Adam, that kept the paradise, but that Adam, that keeps the prifon; he that goes in the calves-fkin that was kill'd for the prodigal; he that came behind you, fir, like an evil angel, and bid you forfake your liberty.

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Afk but the paring of one's nail, a rush,
A hair, a drop of blood, a pin, a nut,
A cherry-ftone; but the, more covetous,
Would have a chain.

Mafter, be wife; an' if you give it her,
The devil will shake her chain, and fright us with it
Cour. I pray you, fir, my ring, or elfe the chain
I hope, you do not mean to cheat me fo?

A bond, i. e. an obligatory writing to pay a sum of money, was anciently spelt band. A band is likewife a neckcloth. On this circumitance, we believe, the humour of the paffage turns. 2 A morrispike was a pike ufed in a morris or military dance, and is mentioned by our old writers as a formidable weapon. 3 Or here means before.

S. Ant

with it from door to door.

Enter Adrianay Luciana, and the Courtezan, with a

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· schoolmafter called Pinch, and others.

Aut. Avannt, thou witch! Come, Dromio, com'd home with it, when I return: nay, 'I be:r let us go. Sit on my shoulders, as a beggar wont- her brat ; S. Dra. Fly pride, fays the peacock Miftrefs, and, I think, when he hath lam'd me, I fhall beg that you know. [Exe. Ant and Dro. Cour. Now, out of doubt, Antipholis is mad, Efe would he never fo demean himself : A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats, And for the fame he promis'd me a chain; Both one, and other, he denies me now."} The reafon that I gather he is mad, (Befides this prefent inftance of his rage) Is a mad tale, he told to-day at dinner,

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Enter Antiphalis of Ephefus, with a Fuilor..
E. Ant. Fear me not, man, I will not break away;
F'll give thee, ere I leave thee, fo much money
To warrant thee, as I am 'refted for:
My wife is in a wayward mood to-day';
And will not lightly truft the messenger,
That I fhould be attach'd in Ephefus:
I tell you, 'twill found harfhly in her ears.—

E. Ant. Come, go along; my wife is coming

yonder.

E. Dro. Miftrefs, refpice finem, respect your end; or rather the prophecy, like the parrot, Beware the rope's-end.

E. Ant. Wilt thou still talk?

[Beats Dro.

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Cour. How fay you now? is not your husband
Adr. His incivility confirms no less
Good doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer;
Establish him in his true fenfe again,

And I will please you what you will demand.
Luc. Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks!
Cour. Mark, how he trembles in his ecftacy!
Pinch. Give me your hand, and let me feel your
pulfe,

[man,

E. Ant. There is my hand, and let it feel your ear.
Pinch. I charge thee, Sathan, hous'd within this
To yield poffeffion to my holy prayers,
And to thy ftate of darkness hie thee strait;
I conjure thee by all the faints in heaven.. [mad.
E. Ant. Peace, doting wizard, peace; I am not
Adr. Oh, that thou wert not, poor distressed foul !
E. Ant. You minion, you, are these your cuf-
Did this companion with the faffron face [tomers?
Revel and feaft it at my houfe to-day,
Whilft upon me the guilty doors were shut,
And I deny'd to enter in my houfe?

Ad. Oh, hutband, God doth know, you din'd

at home,

Enter Dramio of Epbejus, with a rope's-end." Here comes my man; I think, he brings the money. How now, fir? have you that I fent you for? E. Dra. Here's that, I warrant you, will pay them E. Ant. But where's the money? [all. Where 'would you had remain'd until this time, E. Dra. Why, fir, I gave the money for the rope. Free from these flanders, and this open shame! E. Art. Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope? E. Ant. Din'd I at home? Thou villain, what ⚫ E Dra. I'll ferve you, fir, five hundred at the rate. fay'ft thou? [home. E. A. To what end did I bid thee hie thee home? E. Dra. Sir, footh to say, you did not dine at E. Dro. To a rope's-end, fir; and to that end E. Ant. Were not my doors lock'd up, and I am I return'd. [hut out.

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£. Ast. And to that end, fir, I will welcome you. [Beats Dromio.

Of Good fir, be patient.

E. Dra. Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; "I am in adverfity.

Off. Good now, hold thy tongue.

E. Dra. Nay, rather perfuade him to hold his

heads.

E. Ant. Thou whorefon, fenfelefs villain!

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E. Dro. Perdy, your doors were lock'd, and you
E. Ant. And did not she herself revile me there?
E. Dro. Sans fable, she herself revil'd you there.
E. Ant. Did not her kitchen-maid rail, taunt,
and scorn me?

E. Dro. Certes, fhe did; the kitchen-vestal
fcorn'd you.

E. Ant. And did not I in rage depart from thence?
E. Dro. In verity you did; my bones bear witness,

E. Dra. I would I were fenfelefs, fir, that I That fince have felt the vigour of his rage. might not feel your blows.

E. Ant. Thou art fenfible in nothing but blows, and fo is an afs.

E. Dro. I am an afs, indeed: you may prove it, by my long ears. I have ferv'd him from the hour of my nativity to this inftant, and have nothing at les hands for my fervice, but blows: when I am cold, he heats me with beating; when I'am warm, he cools me with beating; I am wak'd with it, when I fleep; rais'd with it, when I fit; driven ez of doors with it, when I go from home; wel

Adr. Is't good to footh him in these contraries? Pinch. It is no fhame; the fellow finds his vein, And, yielding to him, humours well his frenzy.

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E. Ant. Thou haft fuborn'd the goldsmith to arreft
Adr. Alas, I fent you money to redeem you, [me.
By Dromo here, who came in hafte for it. [might,
E. Dro. Money by me? Heart and good-will you
But, furely, mafter, not a rag of money. [ducats?
E. Ant. Went'ft not thou to her for a purfe of
Adr. He came to me, and I deliver'd it.
Luc. And I am witnefs with her, that she did.
Obfclete."

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