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Nappy ale, good and stale, in a browne bowle, The king perceiving him fearfully trembling,
Which did about the board merrily trowle.

Drew forth his sword, but nothing he sed : Here, quoth the miller, good fellowe, I drinke to thee, The miller downe did fall, crying before them all, And to all cuckolds, wherever they bee.

Doubting the king would have cut off his head: I pledge thee, quoth our king, and thanke thee But he his kind courtesy for to requite, heartilye

Gave him great living, and dubb'd him a knight. For my good welcome in every degree.

Part the Second. And here, in like manner, I drinke to thy sonne. Do then, quoth Richard, and quicke let it come. When as our royall king home from Nottingham, Wife, quoth the miller, fetch me forth lightfoote,

And with his nobles at Westminster lay; And of his sweetnesse a little we'll taste.

Recounting the sports and pastimes they had taken, A faire ven'son pastye brought she out presentlye.

In this late progress along on the way; Eate, quoth the miller, but, sir, make no waste:

Of them all, great and small, he did protest, Here's dainty lightfoote! In faith, sayd the king,

The miller of Manstield's sport liked him best. I never before eate so dainty a thing.

And now, my lords, quoth the king, I am determined,

Against St. George's next sumptuous feast,
I wis, quoth Richard, no dainty at all it is,
For we doe eat of it everye day.

That this old miller our new continned knight, In what place, sayd our king, may be bought like to For, in this merriment, 'tis my desire

With his son Richard, shall here be my guest: this?

To talke with the jolly knight, and the young squire. We never pay pennye for itt, by my fay: From merry Sherwood we fetch it home here;

When as the noble lords saw the kinge's pleasantness Now and then we make bold with our king's deer

They were right joyfull and glad in their hearts ;

A pursuivante there was sent straight on the business, Then I thinke, sayd our king, that it is venison.

The which had often-times been in those parts, Eche foole, quoth Richard, full well may know that: When he came to the place where they did dwell, Never are wee without two or three in the roof,

His message orderlye ihen 'gan he tell.
Very well fleshed and excellent fat :
But, pr’ythee, say nothing wherever thou goe;

God save your worshippe, then said the messenger, We would not for two pence the king should it knowe. And to your sonne Richard good fortune and happiness;

And grant your lad ye her owne heart's desire; Doubt not, then sayd the king, my promised secresye; That'sweet, gentle, and gallant young squire.

The king shall never know more on't for me. Our king greets you well, and thus be doth say, A cupp of lambs-wool they dranke unto him then, You must come to the court on St. George's day; And to their bedds they past presentlie.

Therefore, in any case, faile not to be in place. The nobles, next mornir went all up and down, I wis, quoth the miller, this is an odd jest; For to seeke out the king in everye towne.

What should we do there? faith, I am halfe afraid. At last, at the millers cott, soone they espy'd him out,

I doubt, quoth Richard, to be hang'd at the least. As he was mounting upon his faire steede ;

Nay, quoth the messenger, you doe mistake ; To whom they came presently, falling down on their Our king he provides a great feast for your sake. knee;

Then sayd the miller, By my troth, messenger, Which made the miller's heart wofully bleede: Thou hast contented my worshippe full well. Shaking and quaking, before him he stood, Hold, here are three farthings, to quite tby gentleness

, Thinking he should have been hang'd by the rood. For these happy tydings, which thou dost tell.

have ;

Let me see, heare thou mee; tell to our king, | The king and his courtiers laugh ar this heartily, We'll wayt on his mastershipp in everye thing. While the king taketh them both by the hand; The pursuivant smiled at their simplicitye,

With the court-dames and maids, like to the queen of

spades, And, making many leggs, tooke their reward; And his leave taking with great humilitye,

The miller's wife did soe orderly stand,

A milk maid's courtesye at every word ; To the king's court againe be repair’d;

And downe all the folkes were set to the board. Shewing unto his grace, merry and free, The knighte's most liberall gift and bountie. There the king royally, in princelye majestye, When he was gone away, thus gan the miller say,

Sate at his dinner with joy and delight; Here comes expences and charges indeed ; When they had eaten well, then he to jesting fell, Now must we needs be brave, tho' we spend all we

And in a bowle of wine dranke to the knight:

Here's to you both, in wine, ale, and beer; For of new garments we have great need : Thanking you heartilye for my good cheer. Of horses and serving-men we must have store, Quoth sir John Cockle, I'll pledge you a pottle, With bridles and saddles, and twentye things more, Were it the best ale in Nottinghamshire :. Tushe, Sir John, quoth his wife, why should you frett But then said our king, now I think of a thing, or frown?

Some of your lightfoot I would we had here. You shall pe'er be att no charges for mee;

Ilo! ho! quoth Richard, full well I may say it, For I will turn and trim up my old russet gowne, 'Tis knavery to cate, and then to betray it.

With every thing else as fine as may bee : And on our mill-horses swift we will ride,

What art thou angrye ? quoth our king merrilye ;

In faith, I take it now very unkind : With pillowes and pannells as we shall provide.

I thought thou wouldst pledge me in ale and wine In this most statelye sort rode they unto the court ; heartily.

Their jolly sonne Richard rode foremost of all, Quoth Dicke, You are like to stay till I have din'd:
Who set up, for good hap, a cock's feather in his cap; You feed us with twatling dishes soe small;

And so they jetted downe to the king's hall : Zounds, a black pudding is better than all.
The merry old miller with hands on his side :

Aye, marry, quoth our kyng, that were a daintye His wife, like maid Marian, did mince at that tide.

thing, The king and his nobles, that heard of their coming, Could a man get but one here for to eat.

Meeting this gallant knight with his brave traine; With that Dick strait arose, and plucked one from Welcome, sir knight, quoth he, with your gay lady:

his hose, Good sir John Cockle, once welcome againe : Which with heat of his breech gan to sweate. And so is the squire of courage soe free.

The king made a proffer to spatch it away : Quoth Dicke, A bots on you! do you know me? 'Tis meat for your master : good sir, you must Quoth our king gentlye, How should I forget thee?

stay. That wast my own bed-fellowe, well it I woi. Thus in great merriment was the time wholly spent, Yea, sir, quoth Richard, and by the same token, And then the ladyes prepared to dance :

Thou with thy farting didst make the bed hot, Old Sir John Cockle, and Richard incontinent, Thou whore-soá unhappy knave, then quothe the Unto their places the king did advance : knight,

Here with the ladyes such sport they did make, Speak cleanly to our king, or else go sh*t*. The nobles with laughing did make their sides ake,

DEFINITION OF LAW.

Many thankes for their paines did the king give them, sorry, says the doctor, that I could not prevai! on the Asking young Richard then, if he would wed; sun and moon to wait for you,—the eclipse was ended Among these ladyes free, tell me which liketh thee? long before your arrival.

Quoth he, Jugg Grumball, sir, with the red head: She's my love, she's my life, her will I wed;

EPILOGUE TO A WOMAN KILL'D WITH KINDNESS. She hath sworn I shall have her maidenhead. An honest crew, disposed to be merry, Then Sir John Cockle the king callid unto him,

Came to a tavern by, and call'd for wine : And of merry Sherwood made him o'er-seer;

The drawer brought it (smiling like a cherry) And gave him out of hand three hundred pound

And told them it was pleasant, neat, and fine. yearlye;

Taste it, quoth one: he did; Oh, fie ! (quoth he) Take heed now you steal no more of my deer :

This wine was good; now't turns too near the lee,
And ence a quarter let's here have your view, Another sipp’d, to give the wine his due,
And now, Sir John Cockle, I bid you adieu.

And said unto the rest, it drank too flat :
The third said, it was old ; the fourth too new ;

Nay, quoth the fifth, the sharpness likes me not. Law is-law,-Law is-law, and as in such and Thus, gentlemen, you see how in one hour 80 forth, and hereby, and aforesaid, provided always, The wine was new,old, fat, sharp, sweet, and sour, nevertheless, notwithstanding, Law is like a country Unto this wine do we allude our play : dance, people are led up and down in it till they are Which some will judge too trivial, some too grave: tired.—Law is like a book of surgery, there are a You, as our guests, we entertain this day, great many terrible cases in it. It is also like physic,

And bid you welcome to the best we have. they that take least of it are best off. Law is like a

Excuse us, then; good wine may be disgrac'd, homely gentlewoman, very well to follow. Law is

When every several mouth hath sundry taste, also like a scolding wife, very bad, when it follows us. Law is like a new fashion, people are bewitched to get into it; it is also like bad weather, most peo The following jeu d'esprit, from the pen of David ple are glad when they get out of it.

Garrick, was sent by him to Mr. Counsellor Hotchkin, at a time when Garrick was involved in a lawsuit

respecting the possession of a house at Hampton. “ Look at the juryman in the blue coat,” said one David Garrick to Mr. Hotchkin, his counsellor and of the Old Bailey court to Justice Nares; “ do you friend. see him?" " Yes," Well, we shall not have a sin.

On your care must depend the success of my suit, gle conviction to day for any capital offence." The The possession I mean of the house in dispute ; observation was verified. The juryman was Mr. Remember, my friend, an attorney's Phillips of St. Paul's church-yard, afterwards sheriff'; And the worst of his tribe, tho' the best are so so; and during his shrievalty no execution took place, In law, as in life, I well know 'tis a rule,

That the knave should be ever too hard for the fool;

To this rule one exception your client implores, An appointment was made with an astronomer, to be at his observatory, there to see an eclipse. The

That the fool may for once kick the knave out of

doors. good company, considering celestial and terrestrial engagements in the same light, attended the philosopher, and, after chatting some time, at last recollected A very respectable gentleman once appeared at their business, and begged to see the eclipse. I am | Westminster IIall, to justify bail. The counsel de

CARRICK AT LAW.

HUMANE JURYMAN.

my foe,

TOO LATE.

THE TABLES TURNED.

64

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NINE PINS.

termined to be very witty upon him, opened upon time ;—the husband in the mean while biting his lips, him in the following extraordinary manner : pulling down bis ruffles, stamping about the room,

. Pray, sir, is there not a certain lady who lives and looking at his lady like the devil. At last hé with you?"

abrupily demands of her, “What's the matter with Yes, sir, there is.”

you, madam?" The lady mildly replies—“Nothing.” Oh, there is; and I suppose, if the truth were " What is it you do mean, madam !" Nothing." known, that lady has been very expensive to you ?". “ What would you make me, madam?"_“ Nothing."

“Yes, sir, that lady has been very expensive to • What is it I have done to you, madam ?”—“0me.

-nothing." And this quarrel arose as they sat at “And I suppose you have had children by that breakfast : the lady very innocently observed, “ She lady, and they too have cost you a good deal of believed the tea was made with Thames water.” The money?"

husband in mere contradiction insisted upon it that Yes, they have."

the tea-kettle was filled out of the New River, “And yet you have come here to justify bail to a large amount !" The counsel thought he had now done enough to

The late Earl of Londsdale was so extensive a. prevent the confidence of the court being placed in proprietor and patron of boroughs, that he returned the gentleman ; when the latter raising his voice, in- nine members every parliament, who were facetiously dignantly said, “ It is true, Mr. Counsellor, that called, “ Lord Lonsdale's nine pins.” One of the there is a lady lives with me, but that lady is niy wife; members thus designated having made a very extrawe have been married these fifteen years, and have vagant speech in the House of Commons, was anchildren ; and whoever has a wife and children will swered by Mr. Burke in a vein of the happiest sarcasm, find them expensive.”

which elicited from the House loud and continued cheers. Mr. Fox entering the House just as Mr. Burke was sitting down, inquired of Sheridan what

the House was cheering ? " 0, nothing of conseCourtship is a fine bowling-green turf, all galloping quence,” replied Sheridan, “only Burke has knocked round, and sweet-hearting, a sunshine holiday in down one of Lord Londsdale’s nine pins.” summer time. But when once through matrimony's tumpike, the weather becomes wintry, and some husbands are seized with a cold aguish fit, to which

Written on the Cross of St. Paul's. the faculty gives the name of indifference. Courtship is matrimony's running footman, but seldom The man that pays his pence, and gues stays to see the stocking thrown; it is too often car. Up to thy lofty cross, St. Paul, ried away by the two grand preservatives of matri

Looks over London's naked nose, monial friendship, delicacy and gratitude. There is

Women and men : also another distemper very mortal to the honey-moon,

The world is all beneath his ken, tis what the ladies sometimes are seized with, and

He sits above the ball. the college of physicians call it sullenness. This

He seems on Mount Olympus' top, distemper generally arises from some ill-conditioned Among the Gods, by Jupiter ! and lets drop speech, with which the lady has been hurt; who His eyes from the empyreal clouds then, leaning on her elbow upon the breakfast table,

On mortal crowds. her cheek resting upon the palm of her hand, her eyes Seen from these skies, fixed earnestly upon the fire, her feet beating tat-too How small those emmets in our eyes !

COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE.

MORAL PEFLECTIONS.

THE VICAR OF BRAY.

Some carry uttle sticks and one

acted upon as machines are, and to make bis wheels His eggs--to warm them in the sun :

move properly, he is properly greased in the fist. Dear! what a hustle

Every 'freeholder enjoys his portion of septennial And bustle !

insanity; he'll eat and drink with every body witbont And there's my aunt. I know her by her waist, paying for it, because he's bold and free; then he ! So long and thin,

knock down every body who won't say as he says, 10 And so piuch'd in,

prove his abhorrence of arbitrary power, and preserve Just in the pismire taste.

the liberty of Old England for ever, huzza ? Oh : what are men ?-Beings so small, That should I fall

In good king Charles's golden days, Upon their little heads, I must

When loyalty no harm meant, Crush them by hundreds into dust!

'A zealous high-church man I was, And what is life! and all its ages

And so I got preferment :
There's seven stages !

To teach my flock I never miss'd,
Turnham Green ! Chelsea! Putney! Fulham !

Kings are by God appointed,
Brentford ! and Kew!

And damn'd are those that do resist,
And Tooting too!

Or touch the Lord's anointed.
And oh! what very little nags to pull'em.

And this is law I will maintain
Yet each would seem a horse indeed,

Until my dying day, sir,
If here at Paul's tip-top we'd got 'em,

That whatsoever king shall reign,
Although like Cinderella's breed,

I'll be the vicar of Bray, sir.
They're mice at bottom.

When royal James obtain'd the crown,
Then let me not despise a horse,

And popery came in fashion,
Though he looks small from Paul's high cross ! The penal laws I hooted down,
Since he would be as near the sky,

And read the Declaration :
-Fourteen hands high.

The church of Rome I found would fit

Full well my constitution;
What is this world with London in its lap?

And had become a Jesuit,
Mogg's Map.

But for the Revolution.
The Thames, that ebbs and flows in its broad

And this is law, &c.
channel?
A tidy kenuel.

When William was our king declar'd,
The bridges stretching from its banks ?

To ease the nation's grievance ;
Stone planks.

With this new wind about I steer'd,
Ah me! hence I could read an admonition

And swore to him allegiance :
To mad Ambition !

Old principles I did revoke,
But that he would not listen to my call,

Set conscience at a distance;
Though I should stand upon the cross and ball.

Passive obedience was a joke,
A jest was non-resistance.

And this is law, &c. The day of election is madman's holiday, 'tis the When gracious Anne became our queen, golden day of liberty which every voter, on that day, The church of England's glory, takes to market, and is his own salesman; for man Another face of things was seen, at that time being considered as a mere machine, is And I became a tory'

PURITY OF ELECTION.

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