tained his name, thus proceeded to interrogate | city, repeated the following appropriate couplet from Piron's Calisthenes:

him:

C.

G.

C.

"What is your profession? what do you do?"
"I make songs, sir."

"Ah! I see how it is, you are all in a plot; I must call up the commissary. He will show you what it is to make a mockery of justice."

G.

"O, pray, sir, do not disturb the repose of M. Commissary; allow him to sleep on ; you are so much awake, that, without flattery, you are worth a dozen commissaries. I mock not justice, believe me; I am indeed a maker of songs; and you, a man of taste, must yourself have by heart the last which I wrote, and which has been for a month past the admiration of all Paris. Ah, sir, need I repeat,

'Daphnis m'amait,

Le disait,

Si joliment,

Qu'il me plaisait
Infiniment!"

I

J'ai tout dit, tout, seigneur; cela doit vous suffire; Qu'on me mene à la mort, je n'ai plus rien à dire.”

As he finished these words, Collé, with all the air of a genuine tragedy-hero, strutted towards the guard, bidding them lead on." So burlesque a conclusion to the examination, called forth a general burst of laughter. The clerk alone, far from laughing, grew pale with rage, and denouncing vengeance, ran "Ah, sir," exclaimed to awake the commissary. Piron, in a tone of raillery," do not ruin us; we are persons of family."

The commissary was in so profound a sleep, that some time passed before he made his appearance. Piron and his friends, however, did not suffer the action to cool; but kept the guard in a constant roar of laughter with their drolleries. At length M. ComWhat is all this noise missary was announced. about?" demanded he, gruffly. "Who are you, sir?" "You see, sir, that I do not impose upon you. am really a sonneteer; and what is more, sir, (making addressing himself to Piron; "your name?" "Piron." What are you?" "A poet." A poet?" "Yes, a profound reverence to the clerk,) a dealer in spi sir, a poet, the most noble and sublime of all profesceries, at your service, in the Rue de la Truanderie." sions. Alas! where can you have lived all your days, Scarcely had Gallet finished, when Collé began: that you have not heard of the poet Piron? I think "I wish," said he, "to save you the trouble of asking questions. My name is Charles Collé, I live nothing of your clerk being ignorant of my name and in the Rue du Jour, parish of St. Eustache; my bu-quality; but what a scandal for a great public officer, siness is to do nothing; but when the couplets of my friend here (pointing to Gallet) are good, I sing

them."

Collé then sung, by way of example, the following sinart anacreontic :

Avoir dans sa cave profonde

Vin excellent, en quantité;
Faire l'amour, boire à la ronde,

Est la seule félicité,

like you M. Commissary, not to know the great Pi-
ron, author of Fils Ingrats, so justly applauded by
all Paris; and of Calisthenes, so unjustly damned, as
I have shown to the public by some verses,
prove it to a demonstration.'

which

Piron would have gone on farther in his gasconading strain, but the commissary interrupted him, by pleasantly observing,

44

You speak of plays, M. Piron;

don't you

know

that Lafosse is my brother; that he writes excellent ones, and that he is the author of Manlius? Ah, sir, there is a man of great genius." "I believe it, sir," " for I too have a brother who is a great replied Piron, I de-fool, although he is a priest, and although I write tragedies."

Il n'est point de vrais biens au monde, Sans vin, sans amour, sans gaieté." "And," continued Collé," when my other friend here (pointing to Piron) makes good verses, claim them;" to illustrate which, he, with equal feli

The commissary either felt not the smart of this p
repartee, or had the good sense to conceal it. After
a few more inquiries, he saw into the real character
of the affair, invited Piron to relate it at length, and
(to the satisfaction of all present but his sagacious
clerk) not only believed, but laughed most heartily at
it. He then dismissed the three friends, not with a
rebuke, but with a polite invitation to dine with him
at his house on the day following.
"Ah! my
friends," exclaimed Piron, as he left the office,
thing more is wanting to my glory; I have made
even the alguazils laugh."

EPITAPH ON DOLLY'S CHARMS.
Within this tomb a lover lies,
Who fell an early sacrifice

To Dolly's unrelenting eyes:

For Dolly's charms poor Damon burn'd-
Disdain the cruel maid return'd:
But, as she dane'd in May-day pride,
Dolly fell down, and Dolly died;
And now she lies by Damon's side.
Be not hard-hearted then, ye fair!
Of Dolly's hapless fate beware!
For sure you'd better go to bed
To one alive, than one who's dead!

CAUSE AND EFFECT.

no

A physician calling one day on a gentleman who had been severely afflicted with the gout, found, to his surprise, the disease gone, and the patient rejoicing in his recovery over a bottle of wine. "Come along, doctor," exclaimed the valetudinarian, you are just in time to taste this bottle of Madeira; it is the first of a pipe that has just been broached." "Ah!" replied the doctor, "these pipes of Madeira will never do; they are the cause of all your suffering," "Well, then," rejoined the gay incurable, "fill up your glass, for now that we have found out the cause, the sooner we get rid of it the better."

BIGAMY AND TRIGAMY.

A woman brought an action against her husband for bigamy, which was set aside by her proving a trigamy. He had married three wives, and she was the second.

NICE MEASUREMENT.

An idler who had more wit than money, went to an inn in Smithfield, during a market day, and wine before him, entered into conversation with him, seeing a country farmer with a tankard of mulled and after enumerating several extraordinary things he could do, said, he could drink the exact quantity of a wine glass from the full tankard, and neither more nor less; the farmer expressed some doubts, when, to prove it, the fellow said, "I do not like to lay heavy wagers, but I will just bet you a penny I do it." The farmer agreed; when the stranger took the tankard, and drinking the whole off at a draught, turned to the farmer, and said, "I own, sir, I have lost, there is my penny."

JOHNSONIAN MAXIMS.

It has been said of Dr. Johnson, by his biographer, that many a day did he fast, many a year did he abstain from wine; but when he eat, it was voraciously; when he drank, it was copiously. The doctor, however, was not insensible to the pleasures of the table, or the relative effect of liquors, which he thus fixed; claret for boys, port for men, and brandy for heroes. Mr. Burke, on hearing the doctor thus apportion liquors, said, "Then let me have claret, I love to be a boy, to have the careless gaiety of boyish days." "I should drink claret too," replied Johnson, "if it would give me that; but it does not; it neither makes boys men, nor men boys. You and I would be drowned in claret, before it would have any effect on us."

LOQUACITY.

The abbé Raynal and the abbé Galignani, who were both incessant talkers, were invited to the house of a mutual friend, who wished to amuse himself by bringing them together. Galignani, who began the conversation, engrossed it so thoroughly, and talked with such volubility, that Raynal could not find the least opening to introduce a word; but turning to bis friend, said in a low voice, "S'il crache, il est perdu."

ALL IN ONE STORY.

One day, behind my lady's back,
My lord attack'd her maid,
And stole a kiss, which she repaid,
And gave him smack for smack.
Pert with such freedoms," Pray," (said she)
"Who kisses with the greatest glee!

Is it my lady, is it I?"

"Tis you no doubt," he made reply.

Why, in good faith, it must be true,"
Resum'd the wanton dame;

"For Tom, and John, and chaplain too,
All say the very same."

DROPPING THE KING.

CARDS AND CHESS.

Cards were invented about the year 1390, to divert the melancholy of Charles VI. of France, the four classes of whose subjects were intended to be represented by the four suits. By the cœurs (hearts) were signified the gens de chœur, choir-men or ecclesiastics; the pike heads or ends of lances, which we ignorantly term spades, typified the nobles or military part of the nation; the carreaux, (square stones or tiles,) by us designated diamonds, figured the citi zens and tradesmen; the trefoil, (our clubs,) alludes to the husbandmen and peasants; and the court cards have all their appropriate significations. Thus, if a king of France had not been attacked with blue devils four At one of the literary entertainments of Frederick hundred years ago, how would all the intermediate the Great, in order to promote free conversation, he dowagers, and old maids, and nabobs, and hypochonreminded the circle that there was no monarch pre-driacs, and whist-players, have contrived to shuffle and sent, and that every one might think aloud. The con- cut away time? What must have become of Bath, and versation soon turned upon the faults of different go- of the long winter evenings, from the days of ombre vernments and rulers, and general censures were and piquet down to the present reign of short whist passing from mouth to mouth, with that freedom and écarté? The city must have been swallowed up which such hints were calculated, and apparently in-n a mouth-quake of yawns, and the inhabitants have tended to inspire. But Frederick suddenly put a stop to the topic, by saying, "Peace, peace, gentlemen, have a care, the king is coming; it may be as well if he does not hear you, lest he should be obliged to be still worse than you."

GENIUS DEFINED.

A wit being asked what the word genius meant, replied, "If you had it in you, you would not ask the question; but as you have not, you will never know what it means.'

NO ALTERNATIVE.

A porter passing near Temple-bar, with a load on his shoulders, having unintentionally jostled by a man who was going that way, the fellow gave the porter a violent box on the ear, upon which a gentleman passing exclaimed, “ Why, my friend, will you take that?""Take it," replied the porter, rubbing his cheek, "don't you see he has given it me."

all perished of ennui. Chess is another recreation, or
rather a study, which also owes its origin to courts,
having been devised for one of the brothers to the
sun and uncles to the moon of China, who could not
be brought to understand any thing of political eco-
nomy until these hieroglyphics were placed before
him, and all the various estates of his empire, toge
ther with their attributes and privileges, were sha-
dowed forth in the figures and powers of these wooden
representatives. We have not availed ourselves of
an expedient devised for one of the
young French
princes, who being too indolent or stupid to acquire
his alphabet by the ordinary process, twenty-four
servants were placed in attendance upon him, with
each a huge letter painted upon his stomach; and,
as he knew not their names, he was obliged to call
them by their letter whenever he had occasion for
their services, which in due time gave him the re-
quisite degree of literature for the exercise of the royal
functions.

Why, what dost thou think of me, quoth our king Yea, quoth hee, you may see, he hath some grace, merrily,

Thou hast not, quoth th' miller, one groat in thy purse; Nay, first, quoth Richard, good-fellowe, tell me true,