sent for him to an inne, and after some salutations, I could make a shift to destroy a fat wether in two asked him if he could eat any thing? He gave me houres, provided that it were tenderly boiled; for he thanks, and said, that if he had known that any gentle hath lost all his teeth (except one) in eating a quarter man would have invited him, he would have spared of mutton, bones and all, at Ashford, in the county his breakfast at home (and with that he told me, as aforesaid; yet is he very quick and nimble in his aforesaid, what he had eaten ;) yet neverthelesse (to feeding, and will riddle more eating work away in do me a courtesie) he would shew me some small cast two hours, than ten of the hungriest carters in the of his office, for he had one hole or corner in the profun- parish where he dwells. He is surely noble (for his dity of his storehouse, into which he would stow and great stomache) and virtuous, chiefly for his patience bestow any thing that the house would afford, at his in putting up muche; moreover, he is thrifty or fruperil and my cost. Whereupon I summoned my hostesse gal, for when he can get no better meat, he will eat with three knocks upon the table, and two stamps oxe livers, or a mess of warm ale-grains from a brewupon the floor, with my fist and my foote, at which house. He is provident and studious where to get she made her personal appearance with a low cour-more provision after all is spent, and yet he is bountesy, and an inquisitive what lack ye? I presently tiful or prodigal in spending all he hath at once: he laid the authority of a bold guest upon her, com- is profitable in keeping bread and meat from mould manding that all the victuals in the house should be and maggots, and saving the charge of salt, for his laid upon the table. She said she was but slenderly appetite will not wait and attend the powdering; his provided, by reason goodman Wood was there; but courtesie is manifest, for he had rather have one furewhat she had or could doe, we should presently have: well than twenty Godbwyes of all things he holds so the cloth was displayed, the salt advanced, six fasting to be a most superstitious branch of popery; penny wheaten loaves were mounted two stories high he is a main enemy to Ember weeks: he hates Lent like a rampier, three sixpenny veal pyes, walled worse than a butcher or a puritan, and the name of stiffly about, and well victualled within, were pre- Good Friday affrights him like a bull-beggar: a long sented to the hazard of the scalado; one pound of grace before meat strikes him into a quotidian ague: sweet butter (being all fat and no bones) was in a in a word, he could wish that Christmas would dwell cold sweat at this mighty preparation, one good dish with us all the year, or that every day were metaof thornback, white as alabaster or the snow upon the morphosed into Shrove Tuesdays. In brief, he is a Scythian mountains, and in the rear came up an inch-magazine, a storehouse, a receptacle, a bourse or exthicke sliver of peck household loaf; all which pro- change, a Babel or confusion for all creatures. vision were presently, in the space of an hour, utterly confounded and brought to nothing by the meer and only valourous dexterity of our unmatcheable grand gourmande. He courageously passed the pikes, and I cleared the shot; but the house yielded no more, so that my guest arose unsatisfied, and myself discontented in being thrifty, and saving my money against my will. He is swarthy, blackish hair, hawk-nosed; (like a parrot or Roman ;) he is wattle-jawed, and his eyes are sunk inward, as if he looked into the inside of his entrails, to note what customed or uncustomed goods he took in ; whilst his belly (like a main-sail in a calm) hangs ruffled and wrinkled (in folds and wreaths) flat to the mast of his empty carcase, till the storm of abundance fills it, and violently drives Wood by reason of his being now grown in yeares,it into the full sea of satisfaction: feared that if his stomach should fail him publicly, and lay his reputation in the mire, it might be a discouragement to him for ever, and especially in Kent, where he hath long been famous, he would be loth to be defamed; but as weak as he was, he said that he Like as a river to the ocean bounds, KNIFE-GRINDER. "Story! God bless you! I have none to tell, sir, Only last night a-drinking at the Chequers, This poor old hat and breeches, as you see, were Torn in a scuffle. "Constables came up for to take me into Custody; they took me before the justice; Justice Oldmixon put me in the parish Stocks for a vagrant. "I should be glad to drink your honour's health in A pot of beer, if you will give me sixpence ; But for my part, I never love to meddle With politics, sir." SIR ISAAC NEWTON AND DR. STUKELY. The late Dr. Stukely one day, by appointment, visited Sir Isaac Newton, when the servant told him he was in his study. No one was permitted to disturb him there; but as it was near dinner-time, the visitor sat down to wait for him. Dinner was brought in-a boiled chicken under a cover. An hour passed, and Sir Isaac did not appear. The doctor ate the fowl, and covering up the empty dish, bade them dress their master another. Before that was ready, the great man came down : he apologized for his delay, and added, "Give me but leave to take my short dinner, and I shall be at your service; 1 am fatigued and faint." Saying this, he lifted up the cover, and without any emotion, turned about to Stukely with a smile : See," says he, "what we studious people are: I forgot I had dined." " Nor riches nor preferment sought, Which courteous Jack consents to be: In his great chair his worship sat, With zeal and warmth he rallied then Inform'd their judgments, won their hearts, Jack with a smile replied, " "Tis true, With cares oppress'd, and business spent, A cobbler there was, and he lived in a stall, Derry down, down, down, derry down. Saying just to a hair I have made both ends meet: But love the disturber of high and of low, Derry down, down, &c. It was from a cellar this archer did play, He sung her love-songs as he sat at his work, Whenever he spake, she would flounce and would fleer, | troublesome life of it ever since. He cannot hear ot Which put the poor cobbler quite into despair : Derry down, down, &c. He took up his awl that he had in the world, And now in good will, I advise as a friend, That love brings us all to an end at the last : Derry down, down, down, derry down. JOHN BULL. John Bull, to all appearance, is a plain, downright, matter-of-fact fellow, with much less of poetry about him than rich prose. There is little of romance in his mature, but a vast deal of strong natural feeling. He excels in humour, more than in wit; is jolly, rather than gay; melancholy, rather than morose; can easily be moved to a sudden tear, or surprised into a broad laugh; but he loathes sentiment, and has no turn for light pleasantry. He is a boon companion, if you allow him to have his humour, and to talk about himself; and he will stand by a friend in a quarrel, with life and purse, however soundly he may be cudgelled. a quarrel between the most distant of his neighbours, but he begins, incontinently, to fumble with the head of his cudgel, and consider whether his interest or honour does not require that he should meddle in their broils. Indeed, he has extended his relations of pride and policy so completely over the whole country, that no event can take place, without infringing some of his finely spun rights and dignities. Couched in his little domain, with his filaments stretching forth in every direction, he is like some choleric, bottlebellied old spider, who has woven his web over a whole chamber, so that a fly cannot buzz, nor a breeze blow, without startling his repose, and causing him to sally forth wrathfully from his den. He is a little fond of playing the magnifico abroad; of pulling out a long purse; flinging his money bravely about at boxing matches, horse races, and cock fights, and carrying a high head among gentlemen of the fancy," but immediately after one of these fits of extravagance, he will be taken with vio lent qualms of economy; stop short at the most tri vial expenditure; talk desperately of being ruined, and brought upon the parish; and in such moods, will not pay the smallest tradesman's bill, without violent altercation. He is, indeed, the most punctual and discontented paymaster in the world; drawing his coin out of his breeches pocket with infinite reIn this last respect, to tell the truth, he has a pro-luctance; paying to the uttermost farthing; but pensity to be somewhat too ready. He is a busy-accompanying every guinea with a growl. Linded personage, who thinks not merely for himself With all his talk of economy, however, he is a and family, but for all the country round, and is bountiful provider, and a hospitable housekeeper. most generously disposed to be every body's cham-His economy is of a whimsical kind, its chief object pon. He is continually volunteering his services to being to devise how he may afford to be extravagant; settle his neighbour's affairs, and takes it in great | for he will begrudge himself a beef-steak and pint of dadgeon if they engage in any matter of consequence port one day, that he may roast an ox whole, broach without asking his advice; though he seldom en-a hogshead of ale, and treat all his neighbours, on rages in any friendly office of the kind without the next. haishing by getting into a squabble with all parties, and then railing bitterly at their ingratitude. He unluckily took lessons in his youth in the noble science of defence, and having accomplished himself in the use of his limbs and his weapons, and become a perfect master at boxing and cudgel play, he has had a His domestic establishment is enormously expensive; not so much from any great outward parade, as from the great consumption of solid beef and pudding, the vast number of followers he feeds and clothes, and his singular disposition to pay hugely for small services. He is a most kind and indulgent |