A WEEK'S JOURNAL OF A WILTSHIRE CURATE.

Monday-Received ten pounds from my rector, Dr. Saarl, being one half year's salary-obliged to wait a long time before my admittance to the doctor; and even when admitted, was never once asked to sit down or refresh myself, though I had walked eleven miles. Item, the doctor hinted he could have the curacy filled for fifteen pounds a year.

children. I told my wife what I had done with the shilling; the excellent creature, instead of blaming me for the action, blessed the goodness of my heart, and burst into tears.

Mem. Never to contradict her as long as I live; for the mind that can argue like hers, though it may deviate from the more rigid sentiments of prudence, is even amiable for its indiscretion; and in every lapse from the severity of ecoTuesday-Paid nine pounds to seven different peo-nomy, performs an act of virtue superior to the value

ple; but could not buy the second-hand pair of black breeches offered me as a great bargain by Cabbage, the tailor; my wife wanting a petticoat above ali things, and neither Betsy nor Polly having a shoe to go to church.

of a kingdom.

Saturday-Wrote a sermon, which on

Sunday I preached at four different parishchurches and came home excessively wearied, and excessively hungry; no more than two-pence halfWednesday-My wife bought a petticoat for her- penny in the house. But see the goodness of God! self, and shoes for her two daughters; but unluckily, The strolling player, whom I had relieved, was a man in coming home, dropped half a guinea through a of fortune, who accidentally heard that I was as hu hole (which she had never before perceived) in her mane as I was indigent, and from a generous eccenpocket, and reduced all our cash in the world to half-tricity of temper, wanted to do me an essential piece a-crown. Item, chid my poor woman for being af- of service: I had not been an hour at home, when ficted at the misfortune, and tenderly advised her to he came in, and declaring himself my friend, put a rely upon the goodness of God. fifty pound note into my hand, and the next day presented me with a living of three hundred pounds a year.

Thursday-Received a note from the ale-house at the top of the hill, informing me that a gentleman begged to speak to me on pressing business; went, and found it was an unfortunate member of a stroll

EPISCOPAL BARGAINS.

The prince de Conti, speaking of the possessors of benefices, remarked, "That the Lord was very

PRIOR THE POET.

A lady requested Matthew Prior to give her a sedate rhyming couplet on the female sex. "That, madam, is utterly impossible," returned the poet, "for in women there is neither rhyme nor reason.

ing company of players, who was pledged for seven-rich
pence halfpenny, in a struggle what to do. The baker, ill served for his money."
though we had paid him but on Tuesday, quarrelled
with us, to avoid giving any credit in future; and
George Greasy, the butcher, sent us word that he
heard it whispered, that the rector intended to take
a curate who would do the parish duty at an inferior
price; and therefore, though he would do any thing to
serve me, advised me to deal with Peter Paunch, at
tae upper end of the town. Mortifying reflections
these! But in my opinion a want of humanity is a
want of justice. Paid the stranger's reckoning out of
the shilling in my pocket, and gave him the remain-
der of the money to prosecute his journey.

Friday--A very scanty dinner, and pretended therefore to be ill, that, by avoiding to eat, I might leave something like enough for my poor wife and

A MISS-FIT.

On the death of a good performer, belonging to Drury-lane theatre, a very indifferent one (who had often been his substitute in a case of illness) said, "Well, I am sorry for his loss, poor fellow! but it is an ill wind that blows nobody good: I shall jump into his shoes."-"You may," observed another, “but I'll be d――d if they'll fit you.”

FRANKLIN'S WAY TO WEALTH, OR POOR RICHARD'S | says, the greatest prodigality; since, as he eisewhere

MAXIMS.

COURTEOUS READER,

I stopped my horse lately, where a great number of people were collected at an auction of merchants' goods. The hour of the sale not being come, they were conversing on the badness of the times; and one of the company called to a plain, clean old man, with white locks" Pray, father Abraham, what think you of the times? Will not these heavy taxes quite ruin the country? How shall we be ever able to pay them? What would you advise us to?" Father Abraham stood up, and replied-" If you would have my advice, I will give it you in short; for, A word to the wise is enough, as poor Richard says." They joined in desiring him to speak his mind, and gathered round him, while he proceeded as follows.

tells us, Lost time is never found again; and what we call time enough always proves little enough; let us then up and be doing, and doing to the purpose; so by diligence we shall do more with less perplexity. Sloth makes all things difficult, but industry all easy; and, He that riseth late, must trot all day, and shall scarcely overtake his business at night; while lazi ness travels so slowly, that poverty soon overtakes him. Drive thy business, let not that drive thee; and Early to bed, and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise, as poor Richard says.

So what signifies wishing and hoping for better times? We may make these times better if we bestir ourselves. Industry need not wish; and he that lives upon hope will die fasting. There are no gars without pains; then help, hands, for I have no "Friends," says he, "the taxes are indeed very lands; or, if I have, they are smartly taxed. He heavy; and if those laid on by the government were that hath a trade, hath an estate; and he that hath a the only ones we had to pay, we might more easily calling, hath an office of profit and honour, as discharge them. But we have many others, and poor Richard says; but then the trade must be much more grievous to some of us. We are taxed worked at, and the calling well followed, or twice as much by our idleness, three times as much neither the estate nor the office will enable us to pay by our pride, and four times as much by our folly; our taxes. If we are industrious we shall never and from these taxes the commissioners cannot ease starve, for, At the working man's house hunger looks or deliver us by allowing an abatement. However, in, but dares not enter. Nor will the bailiff or the let us hearken to good advice, and something may constable enter, for industry pays debts, while debe done for us; God helps them that help them-spair increaseth them. What though you have found selves, as poor Richard says.

"It would be thought a hard government that should tax its people one-tenth part of their time, to be employed in its service: but idleness taxes many of us much more; sloth, by bringing on diseases, absolutely shortens life. Sloth, like rust, consumes faster than labour wears, while the used key is always bright, as poor Richard says. But dost thou love life, then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of, as poor Richard says. How much more than is necessary do we spend in sleep! forgetting, That the sleeping fox catches no poultry, and that there will be sleeping enough in the grave, as poor Richard says. If time be of all things the most precious, wasting time must be, as poor Richard

no treasure, nor has any rich relation left you a
legacy, diligence is the mother of good luck,
and God gives all things to industry. Then plow
deep, while sluggards sleep; and you shall have corn
to sell and to keep. Work while it is called to-day,
for you know not how much you may be hindered
to-morrow. One to-day is worth two to-morrows, as
poor Richard says; and, farther, Never leave that
tiil to-morrow which you can do to day. If you were
a servant, would you not be ashamed that a good
master should catch you idle? Are you then your
own master, be ashamed to catch yourself idle, when
there is so much to be done for yourself, your family,
your country, and your king. Handle your tools
(without mittens; remember that The cat in gloves

oaks.

catches no mice, as poor Richard says. It is true, I want of a nail the shoe was lost; for want of a shoe there is much to be done, and perhaps you are weak- the horse was lost; and for want of a horse the rider handed; but stick to it steadily, and you will see was lost, being overtaken and slain by the enemy: great effects; for Constant dropping wears away all for want of a little care about a horse-shoe nail. stones; and by diligence and patience the mouse "So much for industry, my friends, and attention eat in two the cable; and Little strokes fell great to one's own business; but to these we must add frugality, if we would make our industry more cer"Methinks I hear some of you say, Must a man tainly successful. A man may, if he knows not how afford himself no leisure?' I will tell thee, my friend, to save as he gets, keep his nose all his life at the what poor Richard says: Employ thy time well, if grindstone, and die not worth a groat at last. A fat thou meanest to gain leisure; and since thou art not kitchen makes a lean will; andsure of a minute, throw not away an hour. Leisure Many estates are spent in the getting, is time for doing something useful; this leisure the Since women for tea forsook spinning and knitting, diligent man will obtain, but the lazy man never; And men for punch forsook hewing and splitting. for, A life of leisure and a life of laziness are two If you would be wealthy, think of saving as well as things. Many, without labour, would live by their of getting. The Indies have not made Spain rich, wits only, but they break for want of stock; because her outgoes are greater than her incomes. whereas industry gives comfort, plenty, and respect. Away, then, with your expensive follies, and you Fly pleasures, and they will follow you. The dili-will not then have so much cause to complain of hard gent spinner has a large shift; and now I have a times, heavy taxes, and chargeable families; forsheep and a cow, every body bids me a good-morrow. Women and wine, game and deceit, "But with our industry we must likewise be steady, settled, and careful, and oversee our own affairs with our own eyes, and not trust too much to others; for as poor Richard says—

I never saw an oft-removed tree,
Nor yet an oft-removed family,

That throve so well as those that settled be.
"And again, Three removes are as bad as a fire;
and again, Keep thy shop, and thy shop will keep
thee; and, again, If you would have your business
done, go; if not, send. And again,

Make the wealth small, and the want great. And, farther, What maintains one vice, would bring up two children. You may think, perhaps, that a little tea or a little punch now and then, diet a little more costly, clothes a little finer, and a little entertainment now and then, can be no great matter; but remember, Many a little makes a mickle. Beware of little expenses; A small leak will sink a great ship, as poor Richard says; and, again, Who dainties love shall beggars prove; and moreover, Fools make feasts, and wise men eat them.

He that by the plough would thrive, "Here you are all got together to this sale of fineHim- must either hold or drive. ries and knick-knacks. You call them goods; but, if "And again, The eye of a master will do more work you do not take care, they will prove evils to some of than both his hands; and, again, Want of care does you. You expect they will be sold cheap; and perus more damage than want of knowledge; and, haps they may, for less than they cost; but if you again, Not to oversee workmen, is to leave them your have no occasion for them, they must be dear to you. purse open. Trusting too much to others' care is the Remember what poor Richard says: Buy what thou ruin of many: for, in the affairs of this world, men hast no need of, and ere long thou shalt sell thy are saved, not by faith, but by the want of it: but a necessaries. And again, At a great pennyworth man's own care is profitable; for, If you would have pause a while. He means, that perhaps the cheapa faithful servant, and one that you like, serve your-ness is apparent only, and not real; or the bargain, elf. A little neglect may breed great mischief; for by straitening thee in thy business, may do thee more

T

harm than good. For in another place he says, Many It is, however, a folly soon punished; for, as poor have been ruined by buying good pennyworths. Richard says, Pride that dines on vanity, sups on Again, It is foolish to lay out money in a purchase of contempt; pride breakfasted with plenty, dined with repentance; and yet this folly is practised every day | poverty, and supped with infamy. And, after all, of at auctions, for want of minding the Almanack. what use is this pride of appearance, for which so Many a one, for the sake of finery on the back, have much is risked, so much is suffered? It cannot progone with a hungry belly, and half-starved their mote health, nor ease pain; it makes no increase of families; Silks and satins, scarlet and velvets, put merit in the person, it creates envy, it hastens misfor out the kitchen-fire, as poor Richard says. These are tune. not the necessaries of life; they can scarcely be called "But what madness must it be to run in debt for the conveniences; and yet only because they look these superfluities? We are offered, by the terms of pretty, how many want to have them? By these and a sale, six months credit; and that perhaps, has inother extravagances, the genteel are reduced to duced some of us to attend it, because we cannot poverty, and forced to borrow of those whom they for- spare the ready-money, and hope now to be fine withmerly despised, but who, through industry and fru-out it. But, ah! think what you do when you ra gality, have maintained their standing; in which case in debt; you give to another power over your liberty. it plainly appears, that a ploughman on his legs is If you cannot pay at the time, you will be ashamed higher than a gentleman on his knees, as poor Richard to see your creditor; you will be in fear when you says. Perhaps they have had a small estate left speak to him, you will make poor pitiful sneaking exthem, which they knew not the getting of; they cuses, and, by degrees, come to lose your veracity," think, it is day, and will never be night; that a little and sink into base, downright lying; for, The second to be spent out of so much is not worth minding; but vice is lying, the first is running into debt, as poor Always taking out of the meal-tub, and never putting Richard says; and, again, to the same purpose, Lying in, soon comes to the bottom, as poor Richard says; rides upon debt's back; whereas a free-born Englishand then, When the well is dry, they know the worth man ought not to be ashamed nor afraid to see or of water. But this they might have known before, speak to any man living. But poverty often deprives if they had taken his advice: If you would know the a man of all spirit and virtue. It is hard for an value of money, go and try to borrow some; for he empty bag to stand upright. What would you think that goes a borrowing goes a sorrowing, as poor of that prince, or that government, who should issue Richard says; and indeed so does he that lends to an edict forbidding you to dress like a gentleman or such people, when he goes to get it again. Poor gentlewoman, on pain of imprisonment or servitude? Dick farther advises, and saysWould you not say that you were free, have a right Fond pride of dress is sure a very curse; to dress as you please, and that such an edict would Ere fancy you consult, consult your purse. be a breach of your privileges, and such a govern"And again, Pride is as loud a beggar as want, and ment tyrannical? And yet you are about to put your a great deal more saucy. When you have bought self under that tyranny when you run in debt for such one fine thing, you must buy ten more, that your ap-dress! Your creditor has authority, at his pleasure, pearance may be all of a piece; but poor Dick says, It is easier to suppress the first desire, than to satisfy all that follow it: and it is as truly folly for the poor to ape the rich, as for the frog to swell in order to equal the ox.

Vessels large may venture more,
But little boats should keep near shore.

to deprive you of your liberty, by confining you in gaol for life, or by selling you for a servant, if you should not be able to pay him. When you have got your bargain, you may, perhaps, think little of payment; but, as poor Richard says, Creditors have better memories than debtors; creditors are a superstitious sect, great observers of set days and times.

The day comes round before you are aware, and the demand is made before you are prepared to satisfy it; or, if you bear your debt in mind, the term, which at first seemed so long, will, as it lessens, appear extremely short: Time will seem to have added wings to his heels as well as his shoulders. Those have a short Lent who owe money to be paid at Easter. At present, perhaps, you may think yourselves in thriving circumstances, and that you can bear a little extravagance without injury; but

For age and want save while you may, No morning sun lasts a whole day! Gain may be temporary and uncertain, but ever, while you live, expense is constant and certain; and It is easier to build two chimnies than to keep one in fuel, as poor Richard says: so, rather go to bed supperless, than rise in debt.

Get what you can, and what you get hold;

Tis the stone that will turn all your lead into gold. And when you have got the philosopher's stone, sure you will no longer complain of bad times, or the diffiulty of paying taxes.

"This doctrine, my friends, is reason and wisdom: but, after all, do not depend too much upon your own industry, and frugality, and prudence, though excellent things, for they may all be blasted, without the blessing of Heaven; and therefore ask that blessing humbly, and be not uncharitable to those that at present seem to want it, but comfort and help them. Remember, Job suffered, and was afterwards prosper

ous.

Thus the old gentleman ended his harangue. The people heard it, and approved the doctrine-and mediately practised the contrary, just as if it had been a common sermon ; for the auction opened, and they began to buy extravagantly.

DIALOGUE BETWEEN AN IRISH INNKEEPER AND AN
ENGLISHMAN.

Englishman. Holloa, house!

Innkeeper. I don't know any one of that name.
Eng. Are you the master of the inn?

Inn. Yes, sir, please your honour, when my wife's

from home.

Eng. Have you a bill of fare?

Inn. Yes, sir, the fair of Mollingar and Ballinaslee is next week.

Eng. I see-How are your beds?
Inn. Very well, I thank you, sir.
Eng. Have you any mountain?

Inn. Yes, sir, this country is full of mountains.
Eng. I mean a kind of wine.

Inn. Yes, sir, all kinds from Irish white wine (butter milk) to Burgundy.

Eng. Have you any porter?

Inn. Yes, sir, Pat is an excellent porter; he'll go any where.

Eng. No, I mean porter to drink.

Inn, Oh, sir, he'd drink the ocean, never fear him

for that.

Eng. Have you any fish?

Inn. They call me an odd fish.

Eng. I think so. I hope your not a shark.
Inn. No, sir, indeed, I am not a lawyer.
Eng. Have you any soles?

Inn. For your boots or shoes, sir?
Eng. Psha! have you any plaice?

Inn. No, sir, but I was promised one if I would vote for Mr. B.

Eng. Have you any wild fowl?

been killed these three days.

Inn. They are tame enough now, for they have

Eng. I must see, myself.

Inn. And welcome, sir, I'll fetch you the lookingglass.

JAMES I. AND DR. BUCHANAN.

When Dr. Buchanau was asked how he came to make a pedant of James, his royal pupii, he answered He thought he did a great deal to make any thing

of him.