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“A light heart and a thin pair of breeches, Go through the world, my brave boys;”

but the latter qualification is better for going through the world on foot than on horseback; so uncle Toby found it, and so did Huntington, who must be his own historian : no language but his own can do justice to such a story; and it is in itself so pithy, that to use the words of Fuller the Worthy, all compendium would be dispendium, thereof. “Having now had my horse for some time, and riding a great deal every week, I soon wore my breeches out, as they were not fit to ide in. I hope the reader will excuse my mentioning the word breeches, which I should have avoided, had cot this assage of scripture obtruded into my mind, just as I ad resolved in my own thoughts not to mention this kind providence of God. “And thou shalt make them linen breeches to cover their nakedness; from the loins even unto the thighs shall they reach. And they shall be upon Aaron and upon his sons, when they come into the tabernacle of the congregation, or when they come near unto the altar to minister in the holy place; that they bear not iniquity and die. It shall be a statute for ever unto him and his seed after him,” Exod. xxviii. 42, 43. By which, and three others, namely, Ezek. xliv. 18; Lev. vi. 10; and Lev. xvi. 4 ; I saw that it was no crime to mention the word breeches, nor the way in which God sent them to me; Aaron and his sons being clothed entirely by Providence; and as God himself condescended to give orders what they should be made of, and how they should be cut. And I believe the same God ordered mine, as I trust it will appear in the following history. “The scripture tells us to call no man master, for one is our master, even Christ. I therefore told my most bountiful and ever-adored Master what I

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which he gave to cover their nakedness, and which they prepared for Baal; for which iniquity were their skirts discovered, and their heels made bare, Jer, xiii. 22. “I often made very free in my prayers with my invaluable Master for this favour; but he still kept me so amazingly poor that I could not get them as any rate. At last I was determined to go to a friend of mine at Kingston, who is of that branch of busi. ress, to bespeak a pair; and to get him to trust me until my Master sent me money to pay him. I was that day going to London, fully determined t bespeak them, as I rode through the town. However when I passed the shop I forgot it; but when I cam. to London I called on Mr. Croucher, a shoemake in Shepherd's Market, who told me a parcel was le! there for me, but what it was he knew not. I opene it, and behold there was a pair of leather breeches, wit a note in them the substance of which was, to th the best of my remembrance, as follows: “Sir, I have sent you a pair of breeches, an hope they will fit. I beg your acceptance of them and, if they want any alteration, leave in a note who the alteration is, and I will call in a few days an alter them. “J. S.

“I tried them on, and they fitted as well as if had been measured for them ; at which I was amaze, having never been measured by any leather breeche maker in London. I wrote an answer to the note this effect :

“Sir, I received your present, and thank you f it. I was going to order a pair of leather breech to be made, because I did not know till now that n Master had bespoke them of you. They fit very we which fully convinces me that the same God wi moved thy heart to give, guided thy hand to cu because he perfectly knows my size, having cloth, me in a miraculous manner for near five years. Wh you are in trouble, sir, I hope you will tell my Mast of this, and what you have done for me, and he w repay vou with honour.”

“This is as near as I am able to relate it, and added,

, "I cannot make out I. S. unless I put I. for Israelite indeed, and S. for Sincerity; because you did not ound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do.”

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The aspiring student who may be ignorant of the tourse of study he is to pursue at the University, i oil find ample information in the pages of the Canhige Calendar; but as he cannot be expected to ote every hour of his undergraduateship to readIng, he must find out amusements for his leisure moments, and a few agreeable friends to be the comPanions of his mirth, and his exercises, as well as his *udies. To obtain companions, he must be inducted, old to pass his leisure time in conviviality and mirth, • must give or be invited to entertainments. At * entertainments he will meet with other promis* Young men of various descriptions, and he will *ally be inducted to, and make acquaintances *ost, a portion of these young men. Now it is *deniable that a young man for his improvement, *mal as well as coporeal, must see society; and he will naturally copy the manners of his college *intances, in order that he might not seem a on: being amongst them. He will enter, into * Pursuits, do the same as they do, and, in short, Foxed to the degree of B.A. in the regular warmint *anner. \ow the warmint way to proceed to B. A. degree this—Cut lectures, go to chapel as little as possi*, dine in hall seldom more than once a week, give sodies and Spreads, keep a horse or two, go to "ewmarket, attend the six-mile bottom, drive a tag, wear warmint clothes and well-built coats, be Soto smoke a rum one at Barnwell," a regular go at New Zealand,” a staunch admirer of the bottle, and care a damn for no man. “At lucre or renown let other; aim,” for a warmint-man spurns a scholarship, ould consider it a degradation to be a fellow, and ** taking an honour, it would be about the very he idea that could enter his head. What cares he

* Celebrated as the residences of the Cyprian tribes.

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for tutors or proctors, for masters or vice-chancellors, since his whole aim is pleasure and amusement, since a day's hard reading would drive him half mad or give him the blue devils; since, subordination is a word of the meaning of which he professes to be ignorant; and since rows and sprees are the delight of his soul. He is never seen in academicals till hall time, or towards evening, and then only puts them on for “dacency's sake,” or because it is a custom throughout the “ varsity.” But in the day, he is seen in a Jarvey tile, or a low-crowned-broad-brim, a pair of white swell tops, warmint inexpressibles, a regular flash waistcoat, and his coat of a nameless cut ; his cloth” of the most uncommon pattern, tied after his own way, and a short crookt-stick or bit o' plant in his hand; and thus he goes out riding: or he may dress differently, and lounge through the streets, always in company with a friend or two, visiting saddlers, milliness, barbers, bootmakers, and tailors; or looking in at a friend's rooms, and to arrange matters for the day: or, if fine, he may make up a water-party, if in the summer term, and go down the Camus in a sixoar, dine at Clay-hive, or Ditton, or take a snack at Chesterton, and return in the evening; or he may walk out to Chesterton to play at billiards, and return plus or minus the sum he started with 3 or he may drive out in a buggy; or do fifty other things, and enter into fifty other schemes, all productive of amusement. In the evening he dines at his own rooms, or at those of a friend, and afterwards blows a cloud, puffs at a segar, and drinks copiously. He then sings a song, tells a story, comments on the events of the day, talks of horses, gives his opinion on the ensuing race between Highflyer and Emilius, or makes bets on the late fight between Spring and Langan. After this tie whole Party sit down to unlimited loo, and half-guinea, or guinea points, and here again he comes off plus or minus 40i, or 50s. If he has lost, he is no way concerned at it, for he is sure of winning as much the succeeding night; he therefore takes his glass or sits down to supper, and gets to bed about two or three in the morning. Determined to sleep a few, after having cast off his


habiliments, he hops into bed, and snores—somno vinoque gravatus, till about six in the evening, and then gets up more sleepy than ever. He dresses; but having no appetite, eats nothing, drinks a glass of soda-water, and walks to a friend's rooms, where he relates his adventures and excites the risibility of his auditors. He then resolves on a ride, and without togging for the occasion, just puts on his tile and mounts his prad. Determining to be very steady and sober for the future, i. e. for the next twelve hours, he urges his steed along the Trumpington Road, goes out by the Shelford Common, and returns home between eight and nine. He then feels as if he could eat something, and accordingly he does, by way of supper, and retires to his rooms, with an intention of being quiet, and in order to go early to bed. But lo! he is told by his gup that the master or dean has sent a message desiring to see him the next morning. Well knowing what this is for, he goeth to bed and cons over in his own mind what to say in extenuation of his irregularities, and he so falleth to sleep. Next day, he calls at the appointed time, when the M. C. with a countenance not to be surpassed in gravity, informs him for the last week he has been very irregular, and requires an account of the circumstances which occasioned the said irregularity. For the gate-bill thus standeth : Monday night, out till three o'clock; Tuesday half past four ; Wednesday half past two ; Thursday half past three : Friday half past four ; Saturday—all night. His excuses are that he has been at different parties, where he was detained late, and where he has found the society so agreeable, and the time fly so imperceptibly fast, that morning has broke in upon him ere he imagined it was an hou past midnight. This draws down a very heavy invective against parties altogether, and a still longer and more tedious lecture on the dangerous tendency of such conduct, so directly opposite to the laws and discipline of the University; and a conclusive paragraph containing (amongst other things) a pardon for past offences, but with an assurance that a repetition of similar conduct cannot but meet with a concomitant cheque in proportion to its enormity, in either

rustication or expulsion. Thus dismissed the august presence, he recounts this jobation to his friends, and enters into a discourse on masters, deans, tutors, and proctors, and votes chapel a bore, and gates a coinplete nuisance. But is this all? no. He has resolved to treat the dons with contempt, and go on more gaily than ever. Accordingly he cuts chapel, and issues forth at night sine cap and gown, with a segar in his mouth. He is determined to have a lark with two or three more, and away they go. While they are pulling the girls about in the street, up comes the proctor: “Pray, sir, may I ask if you are a member of the University "-‘‘Yes, sir, I am.”—“Your name and college, sir, if you please.” It is given without the least hesitation. The next morning a bull-dog calls on Mr. Warmint to deliver a message from the proctor, viz —That he is fined 6s. 8d. for being in the streets without his cap and gown, and that he would be glad to see him at twelve o'clock that day. Now he has to call on the proctor, and in he goes with a very surly countenance. The proctor puts on one of his most severe phizzes, and informs him that his conduct in the streets last night was most ungentleman-like and improper, against every rule of order and propriety, and in open opposition to the Academic discipline, and contempt of him and his office. That such conduct deserved much severer chastisement than he was willing to inflict, but that he should be neglecting the duty he owed to his office and the University if he overlooked it. He therefore desires him to get three hundred verses of lioner's Iliad, Book second, by heat, and requests he will by no means eave the University until it is said. After a great deal of opposition, excuses, and protestations, he finds himself not a lit better off, for the proctor will not mitigate a syllable, and he is obliged to stomach the impos. and retire. For the first hour or two afterwards he makes himself very uneasy about this, but he at length resolves not to learn it, whatever should be the consequence. He therefore goes out to a party, makes himself very merry, and cares not a fig about the matter. Next morning he happens, unlucky wig" ' to meet with the dean, who o

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*ts him, “Pray, Mr. Varmint, why have you **on to chapel lately I have very seriously to *Plain of your non-attendance. You have not **ied for nearly a fortnight, excepting Sundays, * You cannot expect that I, or any man, in the * I hold, can overlook such gross irregularity. **t, you may think what you like, but I am *mined to do my duty towards the college, and to **as you attend regularly. But as that has by no * been the case, and as you have so disrespect. * absented yourself, I really must take notice of it **te way. I am very sorry for it, nobody more * but it is an imperative duty I must fulfil. You ** by heart 500 lines of Virgil, the 7th AEneid, * “pect it will be said with alactity and promp* Good morning, sir.” So here is Mr. Varmint * two impositions in hand which must be very ** head: one, if not said, will beget rustication; * the other, if neglected, will cause the dean to teii ** take his name off the boards of the college. **ates in his own mind as to whether it is better o then or not; but at length determines to see o, deans, and in short the whole University at *\ick, rather than look at a word ; and "- to take arms against a sea of troubles, And, by opposing, end them.” *; how soon do mortals change their firmest * most fixed resolutions! How many circum*es occur to induce them to act contrary to their ots. Mr. Varmint, by drinking too much wine The last two days, rather prematurely finds hims "try much the worse from his late Cyprian adouts, and in fact is compelled to send for a sur* In short, Warmint is obliged to get an agrotat, ofte himself to his rooms, and lie still on the o On his table are draughts, powders, and lo*; the surgeon visits him daily. What is he to : day by himself on the sota 2 His friends are him a great deal to drive away melancholy; but *The has an immensity of leisure time on his hands. * must read ; but what Walter Scott No, he o and all that kind of trash. Lord Byron * read him fifty times, and he wants something

new. He thought of every thing; but at last resolved to spend his time in learning the three hundred lines of Greek, and the five hundred lines of Virgil, for the proctor and Mr. Dean. In the mean time the term divides ; and his companions, or the majority of them, leave the University for their o homes. He, of course, wishes to leave likewise ; but he is ill, and cannot depart before he is better, which the surgeon does not choose should be the case for some time; and even if he were well, he could not go before the dean signed his “ereat,” which he would not do before the imposition was said; so he is hemmed in on all sides, and has the blue devils, besides a prospect of growing hippish. He, therefore, spends the time he would have passed in pleasure at home, in the shady court of a college, and stuffs himself with Greek and Latin hexameters, and lives entirely on barley-water and medicine, for the space of three weeks. At the end of this time, we will suppose him getting again convalescent, and recovering his wonted spirits. He satisfies the proctor and the dean by saying a part of each impos., and after bitterly cursing the place, leaves it for the country. This is the way that many men spend their three years at the University. But, Mr. Freshman, whoever you may be, I write this for your especial benefit, and leave it to yourself to copy or avoid such conduct, as you may think proper. After the long vacation, Mr. Varmint comes up again to reside. His sprees of his first year, and their consequences, have gained him experience, and he knows how to manage in a scientific way. To avoid gate-bills, he will be out at night as late as he pleases, and will defy any one to discover his absence; for he will climb over the college walls, and fee his gyp well, when he is out all night. To avoid impositions from the dean, he will attend more regu. larly at chapel; which, though a great bore, must yet be endured : and to get clear from the clutches of the proctors, he will scud when there is need ; and if followed, will floor the bull-dogs, and bolt. He now is twice as gay as before, rides, couises, hunts, shoots, fishes, drives, drinks, fights, swears, rows, and gain


bles, more than ever. He dresses still more like an eccentric fancy man, and acts yet more unlike what he ought to do, and thus he passes his terms. But now comes the time when he is to be examined for the Little-go; and about three weeks before the examination he begins to read. He finds himself unequal to the task, without cramming. He in consequence engages a common tutor, and buys all the cram-books published for the occasion. After reading himself ill, he goes in ; and by the greatest luck in the world happens to pass. This puts him in high spirits again, and he gives a large Spread, and gets drunk on the strength of it. He continues to have a private tutor for the remainder of his residence, and reads with him about one day in a term, until the last term in his third year, when he is obliged to read for his degree of Bachelor of Arts. Accustomed to mirth and gaiety, and to all kinds of sporting pursuits, never having opened a single mathematical book since his residence, knowing Euclid only by name, and Algebra still less, if possible; not being a dab at Latin or Greek; in short, never having professed to be a reading man, Mr. Warmint begins to encounter all the diificulties attending on such a career, when near its termination in severe study. He has now recourse to his private tutor, who finds him miserably deficient; and to work they both go, the one cramming, and the other unable to swallow a mouthful. He falls ill by reading hard, being so unused to it, and gives it up for a week, then sets to again, and so goes on till the day of examination, when he may perhaps muster up resolution enough to go into the Senate-house. If he does go in, and is well enough crammed, he gets a station amongst the apostles; if not, he may perchance be plucked. ISut if he does not think he shall be able to go through, he reads on a little longer, and goes out at a by-term. This is his career at college; what it may be in after-life, is quite another affair: When he has got his degree in either of these ways, with the rest of his companions, he sits down with all of them, about forty or fifty, to a most glorious spread, ordered from the college cook, to be served up in the

most swell style possible. They are about two hours

and a haif at dinner; and afterwards set to, and get most awfully drunk, each man having floored upwards of three bottles of port, independent of champagne : and madeira at dinner, or burgundy and claret. Thus they conclude the last feast they shall ever have together at college, and another fortnight sces them all, perhaps, wasted far from the University, some of them for ever. “Farewell to the towers' farewell to the bowers' Where the sage wizard Art all his charms hath display'd , . And sweet science cowers, amongst blooming flowers, In gay robes of glory majestic array'd. Farewell, banks of Camus' ye fair scenes of blisses, The Muse, Loves', and Graces' invincible seat : Your silver soft stream, like the tide of Illyssus, Aye, fresher than airs of Hygeia's retreat. Ye cloisters low bending, and proudly extending, To cherish young Genius and Taste in your gloom The spirit befriending, as softly descending, It mounts in pure incense to Heav'n's vaulted doom From you I must sever; then farewell for ever Each heart-honour'd object that swell my las theme ; The world is a field I must enter, but never Can ought charin my soul like your shade-scademe

This is one way of proceeding to the degree o B. A. The “reading man" goes to work in quit another style. He attends lectures regularly, neve misses chapel, dines nearly always in hail, take moderate exercise, is rarely out of college after th gates are shut, reads twelve hours a day, strives har to get prizes and medals, always obtains a scholar ship, seldom gets “a little the worse for liquor,' gives no swell parties, runs very little into debt, take his cup of bitch at night, and goes quietly to bed, and thus he passes his time in a way a Warmint mai would despise. These are the men who run off with all the prizes and obtain wranglers' degrees, who ge made fellows and tutors, and who become eventually the principal men in the University. But these are by no means the most gifted men, the men of the

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