Abbildungen der Seite
PDF
EPUB

66

« A light heart and a thin pair of breeches,

which he gave to cover their nakedness, and which Go through the world, my brave boys ;"

they prepared for Baal; for which iniquity were their but the latter qualification is better for going through skirts discovered, and their heels made bare, Jer. the world on foot than on horseback; so uncle Toby xiii. 22. found it, and so did Huntington, who must be his own

“ I often made very free in my prayers with my historian : no language but his own can do justice to invaluable Master for this favour ; but he still kept such a story; and it is in itself so pithy, that to use the me so amazingly poor that I could not get them at words of Fuller the Worthy, all compendium would any rate. At last I was determined to go to a friend be dispendium thereof.

of mine at Kingston, who is of that branch of busiHaving now had my horse for some time, and ress, to bespeak a pair; and to get him to trust me riding a great deal every week, I soon wore

my
until
my

Master sent me money to pay him. I breeches out, as they were not fit to ride in. I hope was that day going to London, fully determined to the reader will excuse my mentioning the word bespeak them, as I rode through the town. However, breeches, which I should have avoided, had got this when I passed the shop I forgot it; but when I came passage of scripture obtruded into my mind, just as I to London I called on Mr. Croucher, a shoemaker had resolved in my own thoughts noi to mention this in Shepherd's Market, who told me a parcel was left kind providence of God. And thou shalt make there for me, but what it was he knew not. I opened them linen breeches to cover their nakedness; from it, and behold there was a pair of leather breeches, with the loins even unto the thighs shall they reach.' And a note in them! the substance of which was, to the they shall be upon Aaron and upon his sons when the best of my remembrance, as follows : they come into the tabernacle of the congregation, or

“Sir, I have sent you a pair of breeches, and when they come near unto the altar to minister in hope they will ft. I beg your acceptance of them; the holy place; that they bear not iniquity and die. and, if they want any alteration, leave in a note what It shall be a statute for ever unto him and his sced the alteration is, and I will call in a few days and after him," Exod. xxviii. 42, 43. By which, and alter them.

«J.SI three others, namely, Ezek. xliv, 18; Lev. vi. 10; “ I tried them on, and they fitted as well as if I and Lev. xvi. 4; I saw that it was no crime to men- had been measured for them; at which I was amazed, tiod the word breeches, nor the way in which God having never been measured by any leather breeches sent them to me; Aaron and his sons being clothed maker in London. I wrote an answer to the note ta entirely by Providence; and as God himself con- this effect : descended to give orders what they should be made “Sir,--I received your present, and thank you k of, and how they should be cut. And I believe the it. I was going to order a pair of leather breeche same God ordered mine, as I trust it will appear in to be made, because I did not know till now that so the following history,

Master had bespoke them of you. They fit very wel The scripture tells us to call no man master, for which fully convinces me that the same God wh one is our master, even Christ. I therefore told my moved thy beart to give, guided thy hand to cut most bountiful and ever-adored Master what I because he perfectly knows my size, having cloth wanted ; and he, who stripped Adam and Eve of me in a miraculous manner for near five years. Wh their firs-leaved aprons and made coats of skins and you are in trouble, sir, I hope you will tell my Mase clothed them; and who clothes the grass of the field, of this, and what you have done for me, and he w which to-day is and to-morrow is cast into the oven ; repay you with honour." must clothe us, or we shall soon go naked ; so Israel " This is as near as I am able to relate it, and found it, when God took away his wool and his flax, I added,

"I cannot make out I. S. unless I put I, for Israelite for tutors or proctors, for masters or vice-chancelindeed, and S. for Sincerity, because you did not lors, since his whole aim is pleasure and amusement, sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do." since a day's hard reading would drive hiin half mad HOW TO OBTAIN THE DEGREE OF BACHELOR OF ARTS word of the meaning of which he professes to be

or give him the blue devils; since subordination is a IN CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY.

ignorant; and since rows and sprees are the delight The aspiring student who may be ignorant of the of his soul. He is never seen in academicals till hall course of study he is to pursue at the University, time, or towards evening, and then only puts them will find ample information in the pages of the Cam-on for dacency's sake,” or because it is a custom bridge Calendar ; but as he cannot be expected to throughout the “ varsity.But in the day, he is seen devote

every hour of his undergraduateship to read in a Jarvey tile, or a low-crowned-broad-brim, a pair ing, he must find out amusements for his leisure mo- of white swell tops, varmint inexpressibles, a regular Tents, and a few agreeable friends to be the com- flash waistcoat, and his coat of a nameless cut; his panions of his mirth, and his exercises, as well as his cloth" of the most uncommon pattern, tied after bis studies. To obtain companions, he must be inducted, own way, and a short crookt-stick or bit o' plant in his and to pass his leisure time in conviviality and mirth, hand; and thus he goes out riding: or he may dress he must give or be invited to entertainments. At differently, and lounge through the streets, always in trese entertainments he will meet with other promis- company with a friend or two, visiting saddlers, millang young men of various descriptions, and he will liners, barbers, bootmakers, and tailors; or looking in Warally be inducted to, and make acquaintances at a friend's rooms, and to arrange matters for the demost, a portion of these young men. Now it is day: or, if fine, he may make up a water-party, is in uadeniable tha: a young man for his improvement, the summer term, and go down the Camus in a sixDental as well as coporeal, must see society; and oar, dine at Clay-hive, or Ditton, or take a snack at he will naturally copy the manners of his college Chesterton, and return in the evening ; or he may acquaintances, in order that he might not seem a walk out to Chesterton to play at billiards, and different being amongst them. He will enter into return plus or minus the sum he started with ; or he ibe:s pursuits, do the same as they do, and, in short, may drive out in a buggy; or do fifty other things, proceed to the degree of B. A. in the regular varmint and enter into fifty other schemes, all productive of

amusement. In the evening he dines at his own rooms, Now the varmint way to proceed to B. A. degree or at those of a friend, and afterwards blows a cloud, is thais-Cut lectures, go to chapel as little as possi- puffs at a segar, and drinks copiously. He then ble, dine in hall seldom more than once a week, give sings a song, tells a story, comments on the events Gaudies and Spreals, keep a horse or two, go to of the day, talks of horses, gives his opinion on the Sektaarket, attend the six-mile bottom, drive a ensuing race between HighAyer and Emilius, or drag, wear varmint clothes and well-built coats, be makes bets on the late fight between Spring and up to smoke a rum one at Barnwell,* a regular go at Lungan. After this the whole party sit down to New Zealand, a staunch adınirer of the bottle, and unlimited loo, and half-guinea, or guinea points, and care a damn for no man. At lucre or renown let here again he comes off plus or minus 401. or 507. others aim,” for a varmint-man spuras a scholarship, If he has lost, he is no way concerned at it, for he Foulul consider it a degradation to be a fellow, and is sure of winning as much the succeeding night; he as for taking an honour, it would be about the very therefore takes his glass or sits down to supper, and last idea that could enter his head. What cares he gets to bed about two or three in the morning. De* Celebrated as the residences of the Cyprian tribes, termined to sleep a few, after having cast off his

manner.

habiliments, he hops into bed, and snores-somno rustication or expulsion. Thus dismissed the august vinoque gravatus, till about six in the evening, and presence, he recounts this jobation to his friends, and then gets up more sleepy than ever. He dresses ; but enters into a discourse on masters, deans, tutors, and having no appetite, eats nothing, drinks a glass of proctors, and votes chapel a bore, and gates a comsoda-water, and walks to a friend's rooms, where he plete nuisance. But is this all? no. He has resolved relates his adventures and excites the risibility of his to treat the dons with contempt, and go on more gaily auditors. He then resolves on a ride, and without than ever. Accordingly he cuts chapel, and issues togging for the occasion, just puts on his tile and forth at night sine cap and gown, with a segar in his mounts his prad. Determining to be very steady and mouth. He is determined to have a lark with two or sober for the future, i. e. for the next twelve hours, three more, and away they go. While they are pullhe urges his steed along the Trumpington Road, goes ing the girls about in the street, up comes the procout by the Shelford Common, and returns home be- tor : Pray, sir, may I ask if you are a member of tween eight and nine. He then feels as if he could the University ?"-" Yes, sir, I am.”—“Your name eat something, and accordingly he does, by way of and college, sir, if you please." It is given without supper, and retires to his rooms, with an intention of the least hesitation. The next morning a bull-dog being quiet, and in order to go early to bed. But lo! calls on Mr. Varmint to deliver a message from the he is told by his syp that the master or dean has proctor, viz :- That he is fined 6s. 8d. for being in the sent a message desiring to see him the next morning. Streets without his cap and gown, and that he would Well knowing what this is for, he goeth to bed and be glad to see him at iwelve o'clock that day. Now cons over in his own mind what to say in extenuation he has to call on the proctor, and in he goes with a of his irregularities, and he so falleth to sleep. Next very surly countenance. The proctor puts on one of day, he calls at the appointed time, when the M. C. his most severe phizzes, and informs him that his with a countenance not to be surpassed in gravity, conduct in the streets last night was most ungentle. informs him for the last week he has been very irre-man-like and improper, against every rule of order gular, and requires an account of the circumstances and propriety, and in open opposition to the Academic which occasioned the said irregularity. For the discipline, and contempt of him and bis office. That gate-bill thus standeth : Nionday night, out till three such conduct deserved much screrer chastisement o'clock; Tuesday half past four ; Wednesday halt than he was willing to inflict, but that he should be past two ; Thursday half past three; Friday half past neglecting the cury he cved to his office and the four ; Saturday-all night. His excuses are that he University if he overlooked it. lle therefore desires has been at different parties, where he was detained him to get three hundred verses of lioner's Iliad, late, and where he has found the society so agreeable, Book second, by heart, and requests lie will by do and the time fly so imperceptibly fast, that morning means leave the Cniversity until it is said. After has broke in upon him ere he imagined it was an hour a great deal of opposition, excuses, and protestations, past midnight. This draws down a very heavy in- he finds himselí not a bit better off, for the proctor vective against parties altogether, and a still longer will not mitigate a syllable, and he is obliged to and more tedious lecture on the dangerous tendency stomach the impos. and retire. For the first hour or of such conduct, so directly opposite to the laws and two afterwards he makes himself very uneasy about discipline of the University; and a conclusive para- this, but he at length resolves not to learn it, whatgraph containing (amongst other things) a pardon for ever should be the consequence. He therefore goes past offences, but with an assurance that a repetition out to a party, makes himself very merry, and cares of similar conduct cannot but meet with a concomi- not a fig about the matter. Next morning he baptant cheque in proportion to its enormity, in either pens, unlucky wighal to meet with the dean, who

accosts him, " Pray, Mr. Varmint, why have you bew. He thought of every thing ; but at last resolved not been to chapel lately? I have very seriously to to spend his time in learning the three hundred lines complain of your non-attendance. You have not of Greek, and the five hundred lines of Virgil, for the attended for nearly a fortnight, excepting Sundays, proctor and Mr. Dean. In the mean time the term and

you cannot expect that I, or any man, in the divides ; and his companions, or the majority of capacity I hold, can overlook such gross irregularity. them, leave the University for their several homes. However, you may think what you like, but I am He, of course, wishes to leave likewise ; but he is ill, determined to do my duty towards the college, and to and cannot depart before he is better, which the sursee that you attend regularly. But as that has by no geon does not choose should be the case for some means been the case, and as you have so disrespect time; and even if he were well, he could not go befully absented yourself, I really must take notice of it fore the dean signed his “ ereat,which he would not 10 a severe way. I am very sorry for it, nobody more do before the imposition was said ; so he is hemmed 80, but it is an imperative duty I must fulfil. You in on all sides, and has the blue devils, besides a will get by heart 500 lines of Virgil, the 7th Æneid, prospect of growing hippish. He, therefore, spends and I expect it will be said with alacrity and promp- the time he would have passed in pleasure at home, titude

. Good morning, sir.” So here is Mr. Varmint in the shady court of a college, and stuffs himself with two impositions in hand which must be very with Greek and Latin hexameters, and lives entirely Sasa in head: one, if not said, will beget rustication; on barley-water and medicine, for the space of three nad the other, if neglected, will cause the dean to tell weeks. “At the end of this time, we will suppose him but to take his name off the boards of the college. getting again convalescent, and recovering his wonted He debates in his own mind as to whether it is better spirits. He satisfies the proctor and the dean by to get them or not; but at length determines to see saying a part of each impos., and after bitterly cursproctors, deans, and in short the whole University at ing the place, leaves it for the country. This is the Old Nick, rather than look at a word; and way that many men spend their three years at the "- to take arms against a sea of troubles,

University. But, Air. Freshman, whoever you may And, by opposing, end them."

be, I write this for your especial benefit, and leave it Alas! how soon do mortals change their firmest to yourself to copy or avoid such conduct, as you may and most fixed resolutions! How many circum- think proper. stances occur to induce them to act contrary to their After the long vacation, Mr. Varmint comes up resolves. Mr. Varmint, by drinking too much wine again to reside. His sprees of his first year, and be the last two days, rather prematurely finds him their consequences, have gained him experience, and self very much the worse from his late Cyprian ad- he knows how to manage in a scientific way. To Features, and in fact is compelled to send for a sur- avoid gate-bills, he will be out at night as late as he Pon. In short, Varmint is obliged to get an agrotat, pleases, and will defy any one to discover his abto confine himself to his rooms, and lie still on the sence; for he will climb over the college walls, and sofa. On his table are

aughts, powders, and lo- fee his gyp well, when he is out all night. To avoid tions; the surgeon visits him daily. What is he to impositions from the dean, he will attend more regudo all day by himself on the sofa ? His friends are larly at chapel ; which, though a great bore, must yet with him a great deal to drive away melancholy; but be endured : and to get clear from the clutches of the still he has an immeusity of leisure time on his hands. proctors, he will scud wheu there is need ; and if folHe must read; but what ? Walter Scott? No, he lowed, will foor the bull-dogs, and bolt. He now is bates novels, and all that kind of trash. Lord Byron? twice as gay as before, rides

, courses, hunts, shoots

, He has read him fifty times, and he wants something (fishes, drives, drinks, fights, swears, rows, and gam

bles, more than ever. He dresses still more like an and a haif at dinner; and afterwards set to, and get eccentric fancy man, and acts yet more unlike what most awfully drunk, each man having floored upwards he ought to do, and thus he passes his terms. But of three bottles of port, independent of champagne now comes the time when he is to be examined for and madeira at dinner, or burgundy and claret. Thus the Little-go; and about three weeks before the exa- they conclude the last feast they shall ever have tomination he begins to read. He finds himself un-gether at college, and another fortnight sees them equal to the task, without cramming. He in conse- all, perhaps, wafted far from the University, some of quence engages a common tutor, and buys all the them for ever. eram-books published for the occasion. After read Farewell to the towers ! farewell to the bowers ! ing himself ill, he goes in ; and by the greatest luck Where the sage wizard Art all his charms hath in the world happens to pass. This puts him in high display'd ; spirits again, and he gives a large Spread, and gets And sweet science cowers, amongst blooming flowers, drunk on the strength of it. He continues to have a In

gay robes of glory majestic array'd. private tutor for the remainder of his residence, and Farewell, banks of Camus ! ye fair scenes of blisses, reads with him about one day in a term, until the last

The Muse, Loves', and Graces' invincible seat! term in his third yer, wben he is obliged to read for Your silver soit stream, like the tide of Ulyssus, his degree of Bachelor of Arts. Accustomed to mirth Aye, fresher than airs of Hygeia's retreat. and gaiety, and to all kinds of sporting pursuits, never Ye cloisters low bending, and proudiy extending, having opened a single mathematical book since his residence, knowing Euclid only by name, and Algebra The spirit befriending, as softly descending,

To cherish young Genius and Taste in your gloom still less, if possible; not being a dab at Latin or Greek; in short, never having professed to be a read

It mounts in pure incense to Heav'n's vaulted doom man, Mr. Varmint begins to encounter all the From you I must sever; then farewell for ever diificulties attending on such a career, when near its

Each heart-honour'd object that swell my las termination in severe study. He has now recourse

theme; to his private tutor, who finds him miserably defi- | The world is a field I must enter, but never cient; and to work they both go, the one cramming,

Can ought charm my soul like your shade Academe and the other unable to swallow a mouthful. He falls This is one way of proceeding to the degree o ill by reading hard, being so unused to it, and gives B. A. The “ reading man" goes to work in quit it up for a week, then sets to again, and so goes on till another style. He attends lectures regularly, neve the day of examination, when he may perhaps muster misses chapel, dines nearly always in hail, take vp resolution enough to go into the Senate-house. If moderate exercise, is rarely out of college after th he does go in, and is well enough crammed, he gets gates are shut, reads twelve hours a day, strives hari a station amongst the apostles; if not, he may per- to get prizes and medals, always obtains a scholar chance be plucked. But if he does not think he shall ship, seldom gets “ a little the worse for liquor,' be able to go

uch, he reads on a little longer, and gives no swell parties, runs very little into debt, take goes out at a by-term. This is his career at college ; | his cup of bitch at night, and goes quietly to bed, anı what it may be in after-lise, is quite another atrair: thus he passes his time in a way a l'armint mai When he has got his degree in either of these ways, would despise. These are the men who run off with with the rest of his companions, he sits down with all all the prizes and obtain wranglers' degrees, who ge of them, about forty or fifty, to a most glorious spread, made fellows and tutors, and who become eventually ordered from the college cook, to be served up in the the principal men in the University. But these are most swell style possible. They are about two hours ! by no means the most gitted men, the men of the

« ZurückWeiter »