chell for my discovery. I shall take some e opportunity to describe this planet, and the merous satellite which revolve around it.

the last assembly the company began to mke some show about eight, but the most faable delayed their appearance until about -nine being the number of the muses, and refore the best possible hour for beginning to bit the graces.

The gentlemen were considerably numerous, and being, as usual, equipt in their appropriate black uniforms, constituted a sable regiment, which contributed not a little to the brilliant gaiety of the ball-room. I must confess I am indebted for this remark to our friend, the cockney, Mr. 'Sbidlikensflash, or 'Sbidlikens, as he is called for shortness. He is a fellow of infinite verbosity -stands in high favour-with himself-and, like Poor Will Honeycomb, whose memory I hold Caleb Quotem, is “up to every thing." I respecial consideration, even with his half cen-member when a comfortable plump-looking citiof experience, would have been puzzled to zen led into the room a fair damsel, who looked at out the humours of a lady by her prevailing for all the world like the personification of a Sears; for the "rival queens" of fashion, Mrs. rainbow, 'Sbidlikens observed, that it reminded le and Madame Bouchard, appeared to have him of a fable, which he had read somewhere, of sted their wonderful inventions in the dif- the marriage of an honest painstaking snail-who t disposition, variation, and combination of had once walked six feet in an hour, for a wager, it and shades. The philosopher who maintain-to a butterfly whom he used to gallant by the at black was white, and that, of course, there elbow, with the aid of much puffing and exertion. no such colour as white, might have given On being called upon to tell where he had come e colour to his theory on this occasion, by the aeross this story, 'Sbidlikens absolutely refused to ce of poor forsaken white muslin. I was, answer. ever, much pleased to see that red maintains ground against all other colours, because red e colour of Mr. Jefferson's *****, Tom e's nose, and my slippers.*

a

Let the grumbling smell fungi of this world, who rate taste among books, cobwebs, and spiders, at the extravagance of the age; for my part, as delighted with the magic of the scene, and the ladies tripped through the mazes of the ae, sparkling, and glowing, and dazzling, I, se the honest Chinese, thanked them heartily for jewels and finery with which they loaded themes, merely for the entertainment of bystanders, ad blessed my stars that I was a bachelor.

In this instance, as well as on several other casions, a little innocent pleasantry is indulged Mr. Jefferson's expense. The allusion made e is to the red velvet small-clothes with which President, in defiance of good taste, used to re himself on levee-days and other public oc

ons.

It would but be repeating an old story to say, that the ladies of New York dance well; and well may they, since they learn it scientifically, and begin their lessons before they have quitted their swaddling-clothes. The immortal Duport has usurped despotic sway over all the female heads and heels in this city; hornbooks, primers, and pianos, are neglected to attend to his positions, and poor Chilton, with his pots and kettles and chemical crockery, finds him a more potent enemy than the whole collective force of the North river Society. 'Sbidlikens insists that this dancing mania will inevitably continue as long as a danc ing-master will charge the fashionable price of five-and-twenty dollars a quarter, and all the other accomplishments are so vulgar as to be attainable at "half the money;"—but I put no faith in 'Sbidlikens' candour in this particular. Among his infinitude of endowments he is but a poor proficient in dancing; and though he often flounders through a cotillion, yet he never cut a pigeon-wing

in his life,

In my mind there's no position more positive where lilies too much predominate. As I w and unexceptionable than that most Frenchmen, well to every sweet face under heaven, I sincer dead or alive, are born dancers. I came pounce hope her roses may survive the frosts and dissip upon this discovery at the assembly, and I imme- tions of winter, and lose nothing by a comparis diately noted it down in my register of indisput- with the loveliest offerings of the spring. 'Sbid able facts-The public shall know all about it, kens, to whom I made similar remarks, assur As I never dance cotillions, holding them to be me that they were very just, and very prettily € monstrous distorters of the human frame, and tan- pressed; and that the lady in question was a pr tamount in their operations to being broken and digious fine piece of flesh and blood. Now co dislocated on the wheel, I generally take occa- I find it in my heart to baste these cockneys li sion, while they are going on, to make my remarks their own roast-beef-they can make no distincti on the company. In the course of these obser- between a fine woman and a fine horse. vations I was struck with the energy and eloquence I would praise the sylph-like grace with whi of sundry limbs, which seemed to be flourishing another young lady acquitted herself in the danc about without appertaining to any body. After but that she excels in far more valuable acco much investigation and difficulty, I, at length, plishments. Who praises the rose for its beaut traced them to their respective owners, whom I even though it is most beautiful ? found to be all Frenchmen to a man. Art may The company retired at the customary hour have meddled somewhat in these affairs, but nature the supper-room, where the tables were laid o certainly did more. I have since been consider- with their usual splendour and profusion. ably employed in calculations on this subject; friend, 'Sbidlikens, with the native forethought and, by the most accurate computation I have de-a cockney, had carefully stowed his pocket wi termined, that a Frenchinan passes at least three- cheese and crackers, that he might not be tempt fifths of his time between the heavens and the again to venture his limbs in the crowd of hung earth, and partakes eminently of the nature of a fair ones who throng the supper-room door: h gossamer or soap-bubble. One of these jack-o- precaution was unnecessary, for the company e Jantern heroes, in taking a figure, which neither tered the room with surprising order and decorur Euclid nor Pythagoras himself could demonstrate, No gowns were torn--no ladies fainted—no nos unfortunately wound himself—I mean his foot-bled-nor was there any need of the interferenc -his better part-into a lady's cobweb muslin of either managers or peace-officers.

robe; but perceiving it at the instant, be set himself a spinning the other way, like a top, unravelled his step, without omitting one angie or curve, and extricated himself without breaking a thread of the lady's dress! he then sprung up, like a sturgeon, crossed his feet four times, and finished this wonderful evolution by quivering his left leg, as a cat does her paw when she has accidentally dipped it in water. No man" of woman born,' who was not a Frenchman, or a mountebank, could have done the like.

Among the new faces, I remarked a blooming nymph, who has brought a fresh supply of roses from the country to adorn the wreath of beauty,

SCOTCH NATIONALITY.

Dialogue between an Americax and a Scotchman.
American.-Thou seem'st of Scotland, copper
hair!

Say, is it as thy locks declare?
Art thou descended from Mac Prog,
Whose ancestor was fam'd Mac Log?
Mac Whisky. I am allied to names as great.
4.-But, fallen from thy high estate;
An exile from thy home and clan,
Thou travel'st, like a gentleman,
Though-

THE LAUGHING PHILOSOPHER.

And while he lauds the "big mon's verse,
Swears it out-Ossians Homer's erse
But who, of all thy sons, hath told
That true Scotch itch is rubb'd with gold?
That there were once in Scotland mair
Thistles than vines? and that there are
Twa dishclouts, little worse for wear,
Three stockings, twa three pair o' breeks,
Mair feet than shoon, mair jews thau leeks,
Just twenty lords in twenty slaves,
And thirty saints in fifteen knaves,
And sixteen fools in that famed land
Where brass i' th' face is bread i' th' hand,
And were, save siller, nought will pass
For genius, learning, wit, but brass ?
M.-The greatest heroes known to fame,
Are Scotchmen-Wellington and Grahame?
The greatest bard is Cunninghame.
The king of critics and of men;
We've Jeffrey, in himself a host.
4.-Jeffrey, the seer, whose prophecies
We read by th' rule o' contraries;
Impartial Jeffrey, fam'd for giving
Scotch praise to all Scotch scribblers living;
M.-We have.

A. And for what noble ends?

M.-We yearly meet, all Scots and friends. 4. To praise skim-whang o'er cheese of

ton?

M. To light our pipes wi' drowsy Milton.
Proud of our land of godlike men,
And if of her, still more of them,-
Smith, Spenser, Tasso, Arkwright, Pen,
Seth, Deuteronomy, and Shem,
Sir! Cæsar told the Earl o' Mar
He learn'd of Bruce the art of war.
There was one Mars, too, a brave fellow,
And he had hair of a reddish yellow.
Sir, Venus was a Highland dowdie;
England invented beef fra' crowdie;
Mean envy of Scotch bracken-wine
Gave France the hint to plant her vine.

A partner in a banking-house, who lives ne enough to the abode of a facetious alderman nose his worship's kitchen whenever turtle is t order of the day, was very lately at a sma Stil-watering-place on the coast of Essex. Being the country, he determined to partake of i sports; and, for the first time in his life, to have day's shooting. "When we are at Rome, sa the cit, "we must do as they does at Rome." vulgar sportsman, such as a country squire, or rustic nobleman, sets off on foot, or at best on shooting pony, in pursuit of his game. A cit Crasus disdains such simplicity. Accordingly of banker, with a merchant for his companion, g into his phaeton, took the pointers he had bo rowed in the carriage, and ordered his servants i livery to follow him. The dogs, who had neve been used to such a fashionable style of travelling soon began to shew symptoms of uneasiness, an

4.-Where is the tomb o' th' famed Scotch bard even of an inclination to desert. They were de

Called Homer?

tained, however, in part by caresses, and part

a move.

66

force, till they had very nearly reached the|nels. It is the quality of a great mind not to he The of action; when, by a violent and unani-easily discouraged. The bauker therefore reus effort, they all jumped out, and ran home, loaded his piece; and ere he had proceeded far, septone, who was persuaded to follow by the hearing a rustling in the hedge, he let ily at a rants behind. But even he might as well have venture. The report of the gun was immediately ne with the rest; for hardly had they hunted followed by cries of-" Good lack! I am shot! tre fields over, when the obstinate brute stopped as Got shall have me, I'm shot!” It was a Jew, l of a sudden, to the great surprise and chagrin who had been making a sacrifice, which was not the city sportsinen. They hallooed him on; that of the Paschal lamb, and who, at the close ey whistled to him; but nothing could make of it, while employed in plucking up grass, " and It was provoking, they said, they shrubs of broader leaf and more commodious," ever saw a dog so restive in their lives. So. received a large portion of the charge in that king a whip from a domestic, they belaboured part where, according to Butler, refractory Carlo, who darted into the covey, daway went the birds. Before the banker A kick hurts honour more, el recover from the alarm occasioned by the Than deepest wounds received before." ping of their wings, take up his gun and cock As the banker had never seen a magpie in the the partridges were out of sight. These were city that did not speak, he supposed that the he saw that day; nor could he sufficiently whole species was naturally loquacious, and made ret the bad behaviour of the dog. "If he had no doubt but he had killed one of those talkative Hopped," said the banker, I should have birds. "I have shot a magpie," said he to his into the thick of the broed, and killed one companion, and off he ran to pick up his game; of them." His companion made no doubt when, in the passage of the hedge, he was met he should have killed the rest. On his return-face to face by the furious Israelite. Seeing him to his carriage, the man of money determined in the nakedness of a sans culotte, and bleeding his skill at some sparrows on a dung-hill. from flank to flank, the banker started back in ent his eyes; and before he could open them speechless horror. The "circumcised dog" purto count the dead sparrows, a pig, which sued and took him by the throat, swearing, by ying under the straw, and which he had shot the God of Moses that he would have blood for head, came running out, and laid itself at blood. The dreadful threat he enforced by the et, squeaking most horribly in the agonies most sanguinary arguments à posteriori, and proah. And out came the farmer's men with bably would have realized it, if the banker's and pitchforks; and out came the farmer's friends had not offered him “ egregious ransom." and seized him by the coat; and out came At the first mention of money, the bleeding memfarmer himself, and seized him by the collar. ber of the half tribe of Manassah relaxed his gripe, receiving himself thus beset, the banker offered examined the paper that was tendered to him by nourable composition; but when he found the banker, and retired well satisfied, when he no less a sum than three guineas was de- found that it was a check upon Messrs.nded, he demurred, and said, that a pig of and ize might be purchased for less money in Madon. His companion, however, observing pigs were more plentiful in LeadenhallAt than in the country, the money was prod; and the farmer, and the farmer's inen, a'r ! asmer's deg, retired to their respect

PRIOR'S EPITAPH.

Nobles and heralds, by your leave,
ilere lie the bone, of Matthew Prior

The son of Adam and of Eve;

Let Bombod or Nassau go higher.