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gift of God' and a true feeler always brings half the entertainment along with him, or as Shakspeare expresses it;

“A jest's prosperity lies in the ear

Of him that hears it, never in the tongue

Of him that makes it.”

Lastly, we beseech thee to bear in remembrance that our attempts have been

directed to promote thy entertainment and enjoyment; and consequently, shouldst thou even be of opinion that we have failed in our undertaking, we are persuaded that, in thy liberal mind, gratitude for our intention will beget forbearance for our deficiencies, and exempt us from becoming the victims of spleen or petulance.

For Self and Co.,

JOHN BULIx. Poets Corner, Westminster,

May 1, 1884.

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FAMILY ATTAINMENTs.

A wrotest gentleman, distinguished not only for his professional ability, but likewise for his attachment to literature, being in a very debilitated condition from the effects of long illness, engaged a young man to read to him. It happened that the person who was recomriended to the doctor for this purpose had not exactly received what is termed a liberal education ; in fact, he had been accustomed to dispense other than literary sweets, having take., his degrees in a magazine of spices and groceries. It will, therefore, not appear surprising, that on being installed in his lectureship, several tapsus tingue occurred in the execution of his office, which not a little astonished as well as annoyed the sensitive ear of his learned auditor.

At length the unfortunate reader, necting with

one of those exquisite polysyllables of Greek derivation, cqually the delight of the pedant and the terror of the uninitiated, fairly broke down. concerted at the circumstance, the doctor inquired of him whether he had ever learned Greek or La

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THE COQUETTES.--A Dr Alog UE, I love, and am beloved again, Strephon no more shall sigh in vain; I've try’d his faith, and found him true, And all my coyness bid adieu. 2. I love, and am belov'd again, Yet still my Thyrsis shall complain; 1’m sure he's mine while I refuse him, But when I yield I fear to lose him. 1. Men will grow faint with tedious fasting. 2. And both will tire with often tasting, When they find the bliss not lasting. 1. Love is complete in kind possessing. 2. Ah no ah no! that ends the blessing.

Chorus of both.

Dis

Then let us beware how far we consent
Too soon when we yield, too late we repent;
'Tis ignorance makes men admire;
And granting desire

We feed not the fire,
But make it more quickly expire.

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not take his cycs from so strange and novel a picture. At length the deputy walked up to Wilkes, and asked him whether he did not think that his night-cap became him “Oh yes, sir,” replied Wilkes, “but it would look much better if it was pulled quite over your face.”

Nonsexsp. v. sense.

When Wilkes was confined in the King's T}cnch, he was waited upon by a deputation from some ward in the city, when the office of alderman was vacant. As there had already been great fermentation on his account, and much more apprehended, they who were deputed undertook to remonstrate with Wilkes on the danger to the public peace which would result from his offering himself as a candidate on the present occasion, and cxpressed the hope that he would at least wait till some more suitable opportunity presented itself. But they mistook their man; this was with him an additional motive for persevering in his first intentions. After much useless conversation, one of the deputies at length exclaimed, “Well, Mr. Wilkes, if you are thus determined, we must take the sense of the ward.” “With all my heart,” replied Wilkes, “I will take the non-sense, and beat you ten to one.”

novel wager.

An English gentleman, travelling in America, had his attention arrested by a singular contest between a negro and the mule on which he was mounted. The indocile animal had thought proper to take exception to the carriage of the gentleman, which preceded him, and evinced a decided disinclination to pass it; his rider, on the other hand, was as resolute in his dctermination to effect a change in the conduct of his beast. At length the gentleman heard Blackey exclaim to the mule, “I’ll bet you a fivepenny I make you go by this time;” then, nodding his head, he added, “Do you bet?” After which, by means of some very pressing arguments of whip and spur, he succeeded in making the ani; mal pass the carriage. The gentleman, who had

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Dr. Jon Nso N AND the scorch.

On Johnson's return from his tour to the Hebrides, he expressed, notwithstanding the hospitality he had experienced on his progress through Scotland, the strongest antipathy to cvery thing connected with that country. A Scotch gentleman who had been informed of this, being in company with the doctor, addressed him with “Well, doctor, so I learn you are just arrived from Scotland: pray what do you think of my country 2” “Think, sir,” replied Johnson, “why, it is a detestable country, to be sure.” Disconcerted by a reply so unpalatable and unceremonious, the North Briton could only answer, “Well, doctor, such as it is, God made it.” “True, very trite, sir,” rejoined Johnson, “but you will recollect that he only made it for Scotchmen; and were not comparisons justly deemed odious, I might remind you, sir, that God made Hell."

TO I. H. W-N, ON HIS SPECIMIENs of A TRANslation of TAsso.

O thou! whom poetry abhors,
Whom angry prose kick'd out of doors,
Hear'st thou that groan 2 proceed no further,
Translated Tasso roars out, MURDER -

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In an old Cambridge comedy of the Returne from Parnassus, we find this indignant description of the Progress of luxury in those days, put into the mouth of one of the speakers. “Why is't not strange to see a ragged clerke, Some stannell weaver, or some butcher's some, That scrubb’d a late within a sleeveless gowne, When the commencement, like a morrice dance, Hath put a bell or two about his legges, Created him a sweet cleane gentleman : How then he 'gins to follow fashions. He whose thin sire dwelt in a smokye roofe, Must take tobacco, and must wear a locke. His thirsty dad drinkes in a wooden bowle, But his sweet self is served in silver plate. His hungry sire will scrape you twenty legges For one good Christmas meal on new year's day, But his mawe must be capon iod each day.”

C CARDS AND kisses.
upid and my Campaspe play'd
At cards for kisses, É. . ;
He stakes his quiver, bow, and arrows;
His mother's doves, and team of sparrows.
Loses them too, then down he throws
The coral of his lip, the rose
Srowing on's cheek (but none knows how)
With these the crystal of his brow,
And then the dimple of his chin;
All these did my Campaspe win.
At last he set her both his eyes,
She won, and Cupid blind did rise.
O, Love! has she done this to thee?
What shall, alas! become of me?

WIT WITHOUT KNow LEDGE. Wit without knowledge is a sort of cream which gathers in a night to the top, and by a skilful hand may be soon whipped into froth but once scummed:-way, what appears underneath will be fit for nothing but to be thrown to the hogs.

- - surnt AND No shint. Foote having signified in his advertisement, while

he was exhibiting his imitations at one of the Theatre* Royal, that he would, on a stated evening, take off |Quin; who, being desirous of seeing his own picture, took a place in the stage box, and when the audience had ceased applauding Foote for the justness of the representation, Quin bawled out, “I am glad on't, the poor fellow will get a clean shirt by it.” When Foote immediately retorted from the stage, “A clean shirt, Master Quin!—a shirt of any kind was a very novel thing in your family some few years ago.”

Qu EEN ELIZA defit AT covex Try. In a second tour through England, soon after the defeat of the Spanish Armada, queen Elizabeth paid the city of Coventry another visit. The mayor, on her majesty's departure, among other particulars, said, “When the King of Spain attacked your majesty, egad, he took the wrong sow by the ear.” The queen could not help smiling at the man's ..". which was further heightened, when he begged to have the honour to attend the queen as far as the gallows; which stood at that time about a mile out of the town, At another time when the queen, in her progress through the kingdom, called at Coventry, the mayor, attended by the aldermen, addressed her majesty in rhyme, in the following words:– “We men of Coventry Are very glad to see Your royal majesty: Good Lord, how fair you be " ..To which her majesty returned the following graClous answer : “My royal majesty Is very glad to see Ye men of Coventry: Good Lord, what fools ye be!”

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rict URE or TA Irta or U.S. In an old play, called the Four P's, by John Heywood, the epigrammatist, is the following ludicrous portraiture of the infernal regions, as described by an adventurer who went thither to recover his lost love : “This devil and I walked arm in arm So far, 'till he had brought me thither, Where all the devils of hell together Stood in array in such apparel, As for that day there meetly fell. Their horns were gilt, their claws full clean, Their tails were kempt, and as I ween, With sothery butter their bodies anointed; I never saw devils so well appointed. The master-devil sat in his jacket, And all the souls were playing at racket. None other rackets they had in hand, Save every soul a good fire-brand ; Wherewith they play’d so prettily, That Lucifer ...}} ... And all the residue of the fiends Did laugh thereat full well like friends. But of my friend I saw no whit, Nor durst not ask for her as yet. Anon all this rout was brought in silence, And I by an usher brought to presence Of Lucifer; then low, as well I could, I kneeled, which he so well allow'd That thus he beck'd, and by St. Antony He smiled on me well-favour'dly, Bending his brows as broad as barn-doors; Shaking his ears as rugged as burrs ; . Rolling his eyes as round as two bushels; Flashing the fire out of his nostrils; Gnashing his teeth so vain-gloriously, That methought time to fall to flattery, Wherewith I told, as I shall tell ; "Oh pleasant picture O prince of hell ?” &c.

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see the faire. Sir Bernard Gossoign, on a cart jade, rode before the queen; another stranger before the duchess of Buckingham, and Mr. Roper before Richmond. They had all so overdone it in their disguise, and looked so much more like antiques than country volk, that as soon as they came to the faire, the people began to goe after them : but the queen going to a booth to buy a pair of yellow stockings for her sweethart, and Sir Bernard asking for a pair ef gloves stitched with blue for his sweethart, they were soon, by their gebrish, found to be strangers, which drew a bigger flock about them ; one amongst them had seen the queen at dinner, and knew her, and was proud of his knowledge. This soon brought all the faire into a crowd to stare at the queen. Being thus discovered, they, as soon as they could, got to their horses; but, as many of the faire that had horses, got up with their wives and children, sweetharts or neighbours, behind them, to get as much gape as o could, till they brought them to the court gate. Thus, by ill conduct, was a merry frolick turned into pennance.” -

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lasses, in red petticoats, wastcotes, &c. and, so goe,

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