The American Joe Miller: A Collection of Yankee Wit and Humour

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Adams and Francis, 1865 - 226 Seiten
 

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Seite 202 - I'm that same David Crockett, fresh from the backwoods, half-horse, half-alligator, a little touched with the snapping-turtle ; can wade the Mississippi, leap the Ohio, ride upon a streak of lightning, and slip without a scratch down a honey locust ; can whip my weight in wild cats, — and if any gentleman pleases, for a ten dollar bill, he may throw in a panther, — hug a bear too close for comfort, and eat any man opposed to Jackson.
Seite 152 - I presume you all know who I am. I am humble Abraham Lincoln. I have been solicited by many friends to become a candidate for the Legislature. My politics are short and sweet, like the old woman's dance. I am in favor of a national bank. I am in favor of the internal improvement system and a high protective tariff. These are my sentiments and political principles. If elected I shall be thankful ; if not it will be all the same.
Seite 229 - They so perfectly resemble the natural teeth, as not to be distinguished from the originals by the closest observer ; they will • NEVER CHANGE COLOUR OR DECAY, and will- be found very superior to any teeth ever before used.
Seite 75 - Come, now, Bates, he's not half as bad as you think. Besides that, I must tell you, he did me a good turn long ago. When I took to the law, I was going to court one morning, with some ten or twelve miles of bad road before me, and I had no horse. The judge overtook me in his wagon. 'Hallo, Lincoln! are you not going to the courthouse. Come in and I will give you a seat.
Seite 181 - THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT This is the farmer sowing his corn, That kept the cock that crowed in the morn, That waked the priest all shaven and shorn, That married the man all tattered and torn, That kissed the maiden all forlorn, That milked the cow with the crumpled horn, That tossed the dog That worried the cat That killed the rat That ate the malt That lay in the house that Jack built.
Seite 208 - Excellency," said Lord Lyons, "I hold in my hand an autograph letter from my royal mistress, Queen Victoria, which I have been commanded to present to your Excellency. In it she informs your Excellency that her son, his Royal Highness the Prince of Wales, is about to contract a matrimonial alliance with her Royal Highness the Princess Alexandra of Denmark.
Seite 129 - I had many things to write, but I will not with ink and pen write unto thee, "but I trust I shall shortly see thee, and we shall speak face to face.
Seite 29 - Maryland, was very active and thorough in the performance of his duties. One day he went to the house of a countryman, and finding none of the male members of the family at home, made inquiry of an old woman about the number and age of the " males " of the family. After naming several, the old lady stopped. •' Is there no one else?" «sked the officer. " No," replied the woman,
Seite 181 - ... the house that Jack built. THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT 31 This is the man all tattered and torn, That kissed the maiden all forlorn, That milked the cow with the crumpled horn, That tossed the dog, That worried the cat, 5 That killed the rat, That ate the malt That lay in the house that Jack built.
Seite 214 - The bold fellow was of course immediately surrounded by his jubilant comrades, and greatly praised for his gallantry. His captain appointed him to a sergeantcy on the spot; but the hero cut everything short by the reply: "Oh!

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