If I knew a mifer, who gave up every kind of comfortable living, all the pleafures of doing god to others, all the esteem for his fellow-citizens, and the joys of benevolent friendship, for the fake of accumulating wealth-Poor Man, fays I, you do indeed pay too much for your whistle

When I meet a man of pleasure, facrificing every laudable improvement of the mind, or of his fortune, to mere corporeal fenfations: Mistaken man, fays I, you are providing pain for yourself instead of pleasure: you give too much for your whistle.

If I fee one fond of fine clothes, fine equipages, all above his fortune, for which he contracts debts, and ends his career in prifon: Alas! fays I, he has paid dear, very dear, for his whistle.

When I fee a beautiful, fweet-tempered girl, married to an ill-natured brute of a husband: What a pity it is, fays I, that he has paid fo much for a whistle!

In fhort, I conceived that great part of the miseries of mankind were brought upon them by the falfe eftimates they had made of the value of things, and by their giving too much for their whistles.

EFFECTS OF THE PRESENT WAR.

HAT has it done?

WHE

It has overthrown fome and fhaken all the thrones of Europe.

It has given the lie to the conjectures and fpeculations of all the old politicians in Europe.

Experienced Generals have been outwitted by novices, and impregnable cities taken by mere dint of force.

Two or three millions of men have been killed in attempting to fettle difputes, which they did not understand, and which are, after all, to be determined by four or five men who never faw a gun fired.

Sundry

Sundry very great orators have been convicted of Speaking nonfenfe for four years together.

Many hundred threatening affertions have vanished in hopeless impotence, and the fame number of professions have been falfified..

The greatest plans have been formed without the power of execution, and the greatest actions have been executed without any plan at all.

One eighth of our forces have been employed to keep the enemy in check abroad, and the other feven-eighths to keep the people quiet at home.

The Supporters of the war refuse their aid unless they are well paid for it, and our volunteers are ebliged to be hand cuffed.

Several very worthy men have been alarmed into places of great trust and emolument.

The conftitution has been perfonified in eight or ten men who know not what it means, and who have altered it so that scarcely any person can know it.

Great Generals have become fo expert in the art of retreating, as, in moft cafes, to fave themfelves!

The emoluments of the church are mistaken for religion, and the income of a penfioner is called property. The reformation of abufes is feditious and treafonable, and nothing is wrong which can be proved to be old. Indemnity confifts in furrendering all we have taken, and fecurity is fynonimous with implicit confidence in those who have deceived us.

Ο

AN ELECTION SONG.

POOR JACK-PARODIED.

I.

O patter 'bout Parfons and Scribes, dy'e fee,

OLD NICK, Fox, HORNE TOOKE, and the like, A brave British Tar at my right hand give me, And I never to Traitors will strike,

Though the ftorms of Sedition around me may blow,
And pour forth of venom a flood,

I'll ne'er tack about when I meet with the foe,
But bear down like How E or like Hood.
Avaft, do not think me a fhy one so foft,
To fly from a Frenchified Pack;

For I know there's a Hangman, who's perch'd
up aloft

With a noofe for the neck of OLD JACK.
II.

I heard Mr. THELWALL palaver one day,
About Sections, Departments, and fuch;
I boldly cried Nonfenfe to all he could fay,
And bade him go look to the Dutch.
Says I, d'ye mind me, a Felon can't swing,
If the High a'nt obey'd by the Low;

And many home truths in his cars did I ring,
'Bout fhelves, gallows, hemp, ropes, and tow.
Avaft, do not think me, &c.

III.

I faid to fome folks, for you fee they grew fhy,
When TooKE talk'd of ropes and a tree,
As how Horfes and Affes by the tails he would tie,
And then let them ftrive to get free;

The Oak Tree of England he ne'er fhall unroot,
Though he plunges and kicks like a Jade;

Each day from that ften fhall come forth a fresh shoot,
To afford to the World a good shade.

Avaft, do not think me, &c.

D'ye

IV

D'ye mind me, a Briton fhould be every inch
All as one as a part of the ftate;

He should stand to his poft, without off'ring to flinch,
Let the danger be ever fo great.

TO TOOKE in all weathers, all times, ends, and reign, All is joy from confufion that fprings;

As for heart, he has none, though his beilows he strain,
And his head will be fhortly the KING'S.

Yet hefwears that his objects he ne'er will forego,
Nor from his old courfe turn his back,

Though he knows there's a Devil, that dwells
down below,

To provide a hot birth for OLD JACK.

True Briton.

THE

PAULINA:

A NEW REVOLUTIONARY ROMANCE,

HE following tale which would be a good fable for a Comedy, we tranflate from Le Semainier, one of the most fuccefsful wits of Paris before the late imprimatur on the prefs:

The thirst after fortune fometimes produces dramatic fcenes equally pleafant as moral; and on Tuesday laft, the ftreet of Saint-dennis was the theatre of a whimfical meeting. Fifteen years ago a little girl, about ten years old, was carried away by a profligate from her father; a poft-mafter near Ypres, and conducted to Paris. Soon abandoned by this hibertine, she was felected by a lady of a certain rank, then enjoying a good fortune, a widow, and without children. The little girl was taken as an affiftant to the lady's-maid, and foon interested her mistress by her pretty figure, her natural graces, her tricks, her archnefs, and her intelligence. This child, whom we fhall call Paulina, merited then the goodness of the

lady. Friendship fucceeded: tendernefs now had its turn, and foon the feelings of a mother could not have been more lively than thofe of her protectress. The education of Paulina was attended to. They inftilled few principles, I fear, but many accomplishments. Paulina was interefting, and they concluded that she had an excellent heart: the playfulness of infancy is a mask that we cannot always fee through; they therefore thought nature had done enough for the heart of Paulina, and took infinitely lefs notice of that than of the graces of her perfon. In a fhort time Paulina danced like Mlle. Hillegfberg, fang like Mlle. Renaud, played like Mlle. Candeille, and drew like Mde. le Brun. I do not know but that she would have even become a poetess, had her friends inftructed her, fo great were her abilities! In fhort, Paulina became every day an accomplished girl; and if the Revolution, which does not always refpect thefe careful educations, nor the project of ladies who bring up little girls, had not happened fo unexpectedly, Paulina would have inherited the fortune of her patronefs, and would have been enabled to make a very uncommon match for the daughter of a poft-mafter, forced away at ten years of age by a libertine of twenty.

Every thing went on very well till the year ninetytwo, when other affairs than those of love infenfibly drew offer admirers; fome had emigrated, others perished, and Paulina was obliged to wait till fome new turn of fortune fhould, bring her back her lovers; and fhe did not wait long; for all the world knows by the chronology of years that 93 fucceeded 92. Ninety-three then arrived. The fortune of Paulina's bencfactress did not escape the notice of the gentlemen of the pantaloon. The order of arreft, the feal, the fcroll, judgment, and the reft; all this was tranfacted in a short fpace of time; and Paulina remained in the sealed houfe with het beauty, her accomplishments, and (as a parenthefis) with her bad heart,