and at the same time. They love each other so tenderly, that they have not married yet, knowing that wives are generally the cause of separation be tween brothers; and as they are both the same, they think the wives would not be able to distinguish each other's husband, and preserve their chastity. One day a milkman was passing by their door with a pot of curds in his hand for sale, and these two brothers resolved to play a trick upon him. Cossy told him that he wished to buy some curds; the milkman presented him the pot, which contained about twelve seers of curds, and demanded the price. Cossy said that it was a very small quantity. "Do you think twelve seers a small quantity?" said the milkman, and told him that if he could eat that whole quantity of curds, he should get them for nothing. Cossy consented to it: and eating six seers, he went into his room, telling the milkman he would instantly return; and Crishno coming out, ate the remainder. The milkman being much confounded, returned home and told this circumstance to his family.-Asiatic Journal. ELECTION EXPENSES. The following remarkable account of the economy with which members of Parliament were formerly elected, is taken from a MS. of J. Harrington, Esq. of Kelston, in Somersetshire. It is dated 1646, and is called, "A note of my BATH business, about the Parliament." "Saturday, December 26, 1646, went to Bath, and dined with the mayor and citizens; conferred about my election to serve in Parliament, as my fa ther was helpless and ill able to go any more. Went to the George Inn at night, met the bailiffs, and desired to be dismissed from serving; drank strong beer and metheglin; expended about three shillings; went home late, but got excused, as they entertained a good opinion of my father. "Monday, December 28, went to Bath; met Sir John Horner; we were chosen by the citizens to serve for the city. The mayor and citizens conferred about Parliament business. The mayor promised Sir John Horner and myself a horse a piece, when we went to London, to the Parliament, which was accepted of: and we talked about the synod and ecclesiastical dismissions. I am to go again on Thursday, and meet the citizens about all such matters, and take advice thereon. "Thursday, 31, went to Bath; Mr. Ashe preached. Dined at the George Inn, with the mayor and four citizens; spent at dinner six shillings in wine. Laid out in victuals at the George Inn ...... 1ls. 4d. 7. 2 Laid out in drinking Laid out in tobacco and drinking vessels. 4 4 "Jan. 1, my father gave me four pounds to bear my expenses at Bath. "Mr. Chapman, the mayor, came to Kelston, and returned thanks for my being chosen to serve in Parlia ment, to my father, in the name of all the citizens. My father gave me good advice, touching my speaking in Parliament, as the city should direct me. Came home late at night from Bath, much troubled thereat, concerning my proceeding truly for man's good report, and my own safety. "Note. I gave the city messenger two shillings for bearing the mayor's letter to me. Laid out in all, three pounds seven shillings for victuals, drink, and horse hire, together with divers gifts." As a contrast to the singular economy of the Bath election, in 1646, it may not be amiss to subjoin the following list of" charges of ONE DAY'S EXPENSES at a small POT-HOUSE at Ilchester, in the contest for the county of Somerset, in 1813." ..... 353 bottles, rum and gin, at 6s. 57 ditto, French brandy, at 10s. 6d... £105 18 0 29 18 6 514 gallons, beer, at 28. 8d. 68 10 8 792 dinners, at 2s. 6d......... 99 0 0 £303 7 2 WHAT IS CORRUPTION? Mr. Beckford brought in a bill for preventing bribery and corruption at elections, in which was a clause to oblige every member to swear, on his admission to the House, that he had not, directly or indirectly, given a bribe to any elector. This clause was so universally opposed, as answering no other end but that of perjuring the members, that Mr. Beckford was compelled to withdraw it. Mr. Thurlow opposed the bill in a long speech, to which Mr. Beckford very smartly replied. "The honourable gentleman,' says he," in his learned discourse, gave us first one definition of corruption, then he gave us another definition of it, and I think he was about to give us a third. Pray, does that gentleman " Imagine there is a single member of this House that does not know what corruption is?" manufacturing members of Parliament, on their way to the next election.'' Such is said to have been the effect of this speech, that Mr. Beresford, and his whole corps of commissioners, joined in the general laugh which it excited. SLAVE TRADE. The name of Wilberforce, is associated with the best offices of humanity; and with one of the most glorious triumphs that persevering eloquence ever accomplished-the Abolition of the Slave Trade. IRISH ELECTORS. The freedom of election was never more grossly violated than in Ireland, previous to the Union. The Beresford family, who were at the head of the revenue, MR. WILBERFORCE AND THE could, on all emergencies, march a whole army of excisemen, tax-gatherers, distillers, brewers, and publicans, into the field; all of whom had either votes in corporations, or were forty-shilling freeholders in three or four counties; and if, on any occasion, the success of the court candidate was doubtful, a batch of those forty-shilling voters was manufactured for the occasion, and the same identical acre was sometimes transferred in succession from one to twenty tenants, with an increasing profit rent of forty-shillings a year to each. On one particular occasion, when popular interest ran high, on the approach of a general election, Mr. Beresford was obliged to brigade the customhouse officers from the metropolis, and every out-port in the kingdom, all of whom being previously organized as quorum voters for several counties, were actually marched by squads through every district within the cir cuit of their respective cantonments, to turn the scale at every election they could reach. This circumstance was, on the meeting of the Parliament, happily seized on by Mr. Curran, who dwelt on it with infinite humour. “What, Mr. Speaker," said he, "must be the alarm and consternation of the whole country, when they saw these hordes of custom-house Tartars travelling every district, devouring like locusts the provisions, and overwhelming the franchises of the people? These fiscal comedians travelled in carts and waggons, from town to town, county to county, and election to election, to fill this House, not with the representatives of the people, but of the great Cham, who commands them, Methinks I see a whole caravan of these strolling constituents, trundling in their vehicles towards a country town, where some gaping simpleton, in wonderment at their appearance, asks the driver of the first vehicle, Where, my good fellow, are you going with these raggamuffins? I suppose they are convicts on their way to the kidship, for transportation to Botany Bay.' Oh! no,' answers the driver, they are only a few cart loads of raw materials for · It was soon after the meeting of Parliament in 1787, that Mr. Wilberforce first gavenotice of his intention to bring forward a measure respecting the slave trade. His speech was replete with eloquence, and he described this horrible traffic in the most glowing terms. "Never," said he, "was a more complete system of injustice and cruelty exhibited to the world. To whatever portion of this odious traffic you turn your eyes, you find neither consolation nor relief. The horrors attendant on tearing the Africans from their native country, are only to be compared to the horrors of the voyage; the latter are only to be equalled by the horrors of the colonial slavery itself. By a merciful dispensation of Providence, in the moral, as well as the physical, order of things, some degree of good generally accompanies evil: hurricanes purify the air; persecution excites enthusiasm for truth; pride, vanity, and profusion, frequently contribute, indirectly, to the happiness of mankind. There is nothing, however odious, that has not its palliative; the savage is hospitable; the brigand is intrepid; violence is, in general, exempt from perfidy; and daring iniquity, from meanness. But there is no benign concomitant here; it belongs to this hateful traffic to deteriorate alike the good and the bad, and even to pollute crime itself; it is a state of warfare undignified by courage; it is a state of peace, in which there is no security against devastation and massacre. There you find the vices of polished society, without the delicacy of manners by which they are tempered; the primitive savageness of man, stripped of all its innocence; perverseness, pure and complete, full and finished, destitute of every honourable sentiment, of every advantage that can be contemplated without indignation, or acknowledged without the deepest shame." From this time, to 1800, when Mr. W. succeeded in erasing from British history that stain to our national character, his whole life may be read in the progress of the abolition of the slave trade. Of all the debates to which this subject gave rise, that on the 2d of April, 1793, was the most eloquent and interesting. The number of petitions on the table of the House of Commons, amounted to five hundred and eight; this stimulated and encouraged the friends of the abolition; the want of success hitherto seemed to have awaken ed all the energies, and to have aroused every honourable feeling of which the human heart is capable. The speeches of Mr. Wilberforce, Mr. Fox, and Mr. Pitt, appeared so insuperable, that it was imagined the question would have been carried by acclamation. Eightyfive persons were only found to vote against the total abolition. But by a skilful manœuvre of Mr. Dundas, after wards Lord Melville, the word " gradual" was introduced into the motion before it was passed. Mr. Wilberforce, after enumerating the evils attached to the slave trade, and describing the interest which the subject had excited in several parts of Europe, combated the arguments of those individuals who condemned the inhuman traffic on the score of religion, justice, and humanity, but vindicated it as consistent with the national interest. "I trust," said he, "that no such argument will be used this night, for what is it but to establish a competition between God and mammon, and to adjudge the preference to the latter? What but to dethrone the moral governor of the world, and to fall down and worship the idol of interest? What a manifesto to surrounding nations! What a lesson to our own people! Come, then, ye nations of the earth, and learn a new code of morality from the Parliament of Great Britain. We have discarded an old prejudice; we have discovered that religion, and justice, and humanity, are mere rant and rhapsody! Why, Sir, these are principles which Epicurus would have rejected for their impiety, and Machiavel and Borgia would have disclaimed as too infamous for avowal, and too injurious for the general happiness of mankind. If God, in his anger, would punish us for this formal renunciation of his authority, what severer venge ance could he inflict than a successful propagation of these accursed maxims ! Consider what effects would follow from their universal prevalence; what scenes should we soon behold around us; in public affairs, breach of faith, and anarchy, and bloodshed: in private life, fraud, distrust, and perfidy, and what ever can degrade the public character, and poison the comforts of social life and domestic intercourse. Men must then retire to caves and deserts, and withdraw from a world become too bad to be endured." The exertions of Mr. Wilberforce in the cause of humanity endeared him to the public, and particularly to his constituents, the freeholders of Yorkshire, which he represented for nearly thirty years; and in the great contest which took place in 1807, a contest which is said to have cost upwards of 300,000%. his whole expenses were defrayed by public subscription! Nay, such was the public zeal manifested in his favour, that more than double the sum necessary for the purpose of supporting his elec tion, immense as it was, was raised in a few days, and one moiety was afterwards returned to the subscribers, A similar instance of popular favour in behalf of a candidate, has never oocurred in the history of contested eleotions.-Percy Anecdotes. " ་ LAW AND LAWYERS. We know very well that the French have a proverb, a good lawyer, a bad neighbour.' And we know that others have averred, that the remedy by law is worse than the disease, and strikingly exhibits the moral of that fable, where the horse implores the assistance of man to revenge an affront. Stamps and expense have saddled, bridled, and muzzled it. We recollect also, that a lawyer, making his will, bequeathed his estate to fools and madmen: being asked the reason; "from such (said he) I had it, and to such I give it." And it has also been alleged against Mr. Hargrave, one of our ablest law commentators, that he expressly says, that any lawyer who writes so clearly as to be understood, is an enemy to his profession. Solon compares the people to the sea, and counsellors to the wind, for the sea will be calm and quiet, if the wind does not trouble it. We recollect also reading in Dr. Burnet's entertaining Life of Sir Matthew Hale, that Mr. Hale, the barrister and father of Sir Matthew, was a man of that strictness of consci ence, that he gave over the practice of the law because he could not understand the reason of giving colour in pleadings, which, as he thought, was to tell a lie; and this, with some other things commonly practised, seemed to him contrary to that exactness of truth and justice which became a Christian; so that he withdrew himself from the inns of court to live on his estate in the country. And Dr. Garth, alluding to their practice, tells us : For fees, to any form they mould a But then, whatever may be the portion of truth contained in the aforesaid affirmation, the continued recitation of them in prose and verse, verbal and written, (for it is a fashion to have a ffing at a lawyer) lose their freshness, and the observations being often ill timed, grow sickly and decay, vanishing into air. There are contingent evils in this world; perhaps these may be of them. But let us proceed to show that, by the increase of lawyers; it is self-evident that we may as well attempt to do without property as to do without those who protect it for us, or take it from us. Now Swift much feared, that if books and acts of parliament continued to increase, few would be learned, or any man be a lawyer.And we know, by the time you get one statute tolerably fixed in your memory, you come to another by which it is repealed: who then can wonder at this increase of lawyers, which some call fatal ? In the rolls of Parliament 1445, is a petition from the Commons of two counties, showing that the number of attornies had lately increased from 6 or 8 to 24, whereby the peace of those counties had been greatly interrupted by suits. The Commons therefore petition, that it may be ordained, that there shall be no more than six common attornies for Norfolk, six for Suffolk, and two for the city of Norwich. The King granted the petition, provided it were thought reasonable by the judges. Then again we find a contemporary making the following observations:"The spirit and essence of the English law cannot be surpassed in point of wisdom by the records of the whole world, ancient and modern; and yet their prolixity is a serious evil, and which George Alexander Stevens drolly satirises, by one counsellor at the bar referring to the 984th page of the 120th folio volume of the abridgment of the statutes. First our legislature passes an act; then comes an act to amend this act; then a rider, then a supplement, then an appendix, and so on; instead of each act being consolidated under their own authority, or that of a delegated committee. The laws of China (Mr. Barrow tells us) are but 16 small volumes; and probably they have lasted for thousands of years, for a population which is equal to that of one-third of the universe. The Code Napoleon, we believe, is in a single volume octavo; but the ramifications of our statutes tend to confuse, not to define, and finally to fill all England with hosts of lawyers, and consequently, by their exertions in the way of trade, with hosts of plaintiffs and defendants. Some have thought that laws may be whimsically compared to nut-crackers, whilst they crush to atoms small objects, with great ones they bend and break." THE GOOD OLD TIMES.-It is to be hoped the professional gentlemen inhabiting that FowL place-Dorking, will not bring an action against us for exposing its ancient character. We learn, that in the reign of Henry VI "Courts used to be held there every three weeks, and in them actions were brought. There are instances of suits lasting for six months; and perhaps, at last, the damages were four-pence, and the costs twelve-pence!" The old story! "Moreover, it was presented at the court leet, anno 24, (and often repeated) that butchers, inn-keepers, tailors, hucksters, millers, merchants, drapers, shoe-makers, smiths, turners, labourers, bakers, carpenters, and tanners, took excessive prices; that the watch was not kept, that there were several assaults; and that Matilda Symonds was, as presented in former years, a disturber of the peace."Manning's Surrey, p. 554. The Neapolitans are very fond of law. Mr. Addison tells us a pleasant story on this. One of the Popes made an application to the viceroy of Naples, for a supply of 30,000 head of swine. The viceroy answered, that for the swine, they could not be spared; but if his Holiness had any occasion for 30,000 lawyers, they were much at his service. The administration of law at Naples seems to have been contrived for the express ruin of litigants. The pictures of the twelve Judges in Guildhall, are those of the virtuous Sir Matthew Hale, and his eleven contemporaries, who, after the dreadful fire in London, 1666, regulated the re-building of the city by such wise rules, as to prevent the endless train of vexatious law suits which might have ensued, and been little less chargeable than the fire itself had been! These judges sat in Clifford's-Inn, to compose all differences between landlord and tenant. Such a judge now, would be thought an enemy to his profession; but such a fact shows what may be done, without the expensive parade of a suit, as some say. The Chinese code of laws is so simple, so defined, and so promulgated through the empire, that the services of attorneys and counsellors are unnecessary; and there is not one to be found in the (thus truly called) Celestial Empire. And Peter the Great is sued an edict, that no law-suit should exceed eleven days: then it was to terminate. The only wonder at all is, that litigation should exist at all in despotic states, where the will of power is the Lex Suprema. At Axum, in Abyssinia, a singular custom is observed. When any person Is injured, he gets hold, if possible, of his adversary's garment, and ties it to his own; if he can do this, the offender neither attempts to deliver himself, nor to leave the garment behind him, but quietly follows to the presence of his superiors, who are to judge him. Such a respect to this novel though legal form of arrest, would hardly have been expected in such a country.- Valentia's Travels. A Prussian soldier was once detected taking certain jewels and corporal ornaments from the image of the Virgin Mary, and boldly asserted that she gave them to him. The case was novel, and a council of prelates and other learned men was convened, who, not averse to miracles, adjudged the thing possible. Frederic the Great understood it, and suffered the soldier to be discharged; but next day it was proclaimed, that on pain of death none should thereafter take advantage of the Virgin Mary. The Gatherer. "I am but a Gatherer and disposer of other men's stuff."-Wotton. WILKES.-Wilkes never would spare Boswell, nor conceal before him, his pre judices against the Scottish nation. He seemed to seize with particular avidity every opportunity to play upon Boswell, when any thing relating to Scotland was introduced. "You must acknowledge, my friend Wilkes," observed Boswell one day, "that the approach to Edinburgh, from the London road, presents a very picturesque and interesting picture." Why, so perhaps it may," returned Wilkes ; "but when I was there, the wind was in my face, and brought with it such a confounded stink, that I was obliged to keep my handkerchief to my nose the whole way, and could see nothing of the prospect." 66 In the riots of the year 1780, which at the same time endangered and disgraced the metropolis, Wilkes was lamenting the ungovernable violence of a London mob; upon this some brother citizens took him up shortly, and reminded him of the disturbances of which he had formerly been the occasion. "Sir,” replied Wilkes, “ I never was a Wilkite." THE IMPORTANCE OF DOING QUICKLY. -The benevolent Dr. Wilson once discovered a clergyman at Bath, who he was informed was sick, poor, and had a numerous family. In the evening he gave a friend fifty pounds, requesting he would deliver it in the most delicate manner, and as from an unknown person. The friend replied, "I will wait upon him early in the morning.” “You will oblige me by calling directly. Think, Sir, of what importance a good night's rest may be to that poor man." CANINE AFFECTION.--A bitch, belonging to Mr. Cullen, of the Crown and Thistle Inn, Loughborough, lately brought forth four puppies. After they were drowned and thrown aside, she sought diligently, and found one of them, which, though apparently dead, she found means to restore, by doubling herself up, and warming it, and by now and then shaking it violently in her teeth. But how transient was her joy, for a relapse took place, and its death quickly followed. She then carried it to a complete grave which she had previously prepared for it, and buried it with tears in her eyes, and howling as if in the utmost grief. EPITAPH.-The following verse, stanza, or whatever else it may be called, is a literal transcript from a tomb-stone in Wigtown church-yard, Galloway: |