MADAM, LETTER 114. From the Gentleman.* It was a question among the stoics, whether the whole of human life afforded most pleasure or pain? For my own part, I have always wished to consider things in their fairest light, but I often find my resolution weakened; and when I think to act the philosopher, I feel myself nothing but a man. When my late wife died, about two years ago, I proposed making the tour of England, that by mixing with strangers my thoughts might be led from fruitless reflections on the loss I had sustained a loss which none but myself knew. It is true, it has been so far successful that it has taught me two things: first, resignation to the will of heaven; and secondly, that I am still unhappy in the want of a female partner. The agreeable company at the house of your worthy brother obliged me to spend more time at York than I at first intended, nor did I know until 1 had proceeded some miles that I should be obliged once more to return. In short, madam, I am a second time in love; and although you may be disposed to laugh, yet I assure you I am in real earnest; your own dear self is the object. But perhaps you will ask, how happens all this? I answer, that I cannot tell how it happens. But I am really fond of domestic life, and am once more resolved to alter my condition. I cannot flatter, and I think both you and I have lived long enough to judge for ourselves. There was somewhat pleased me much in the prudent manner you conduct the affairs of your brother's house; but, as he is on the point of being married, that employ sent will cease when the other event takes place. I did not hear that you was engaged by promise to any other; and as you have heard some. thing concerning my family, character, and circumstances, you are more able to judge whether my present proposal is for your interest. In case you have any objections to my having children, I can only say that they will be easily answered. I have told you before that I have only two young daughters now at a boarding school, and I have settled each of their marriage portions, and the remainder is entirely for myself; and, without being any real prejudice to my children, is more than sufficient for us both. As to the common objection against being a step mother, I think it be easily answered, when I tell may that you, my children will treat you with all manner of respect. I do not imagine you can esteem me worse for loving my children; I have too good an opinion of you to think so; and as for the odious appellations usually thrown out against step mothers, they can only be considered, by a lady of your sensibility, as the effect of prejudice, operating upon vulgar minds, occasioned by the conduct of some inhuman wretches, who are a disgrace to society, and who would have acted in the same manner had they been placed in any other station in life. Your own good sense will point out the propriety of what I say. From what I have written you will be able to judge whether or not the proposals I have now made are apparently for *The six following are genuine, and passed between a gentleman and lady in England some time ago, but were once before published your real advantage. All that I desire is, to live in amity and friendship with the woman on whom I have placed my affections, as long as I am in this world. Every thing in my power will be exerted to make you as happy as possible, as I think, if I am not mistaken, every part of your conduct will entitle you to deserve it. I hope you will not defer sending me an answer, as I shall wait for it with the utmost impatience. I am, madam, yours sincerely and affectionately. SIR, LETTER 115. The Lady's Answer. I have just received your letter, and for my own part must say that you have acted the philosopher extremely well. I thought that love letters had not usually been extracted from Seneca or Epictetus; but why do I wonder, when even a lady now alive went through the drudgery of learning the Greek language, in order to acquire the honor of being the translator of the latter. However, she has got far enough, and I have not any intention of following her, but shall consider my lover's philosophical letter. Whilst you remained at our house, I must acknowledge that your company was agreeable, and our assiduity to please arose from a consciousness of your merit as a gentleman, although at that time neither my brother nor myself had the most distant thoughts of ever hearing such a proposal as your letter contains. It is our common practice to entertain strangers in the same manner as we did you, which is consistent with old English hospitality, and something like the conduct of the ancient patriarchs. The proposal which you have sent me is of too serious a nature to be treated lightly; it requires to be considered with the greatest attention, especially as a wrong step of that sort, not only destroys all hopes of temporal happiness, but what is infinitely worse, often endangers that which is eternal. I doubt not but you have seen many fatal instances of this melancholy truth, viz: That those who were bound by the most solemn engagements to go hand in hand through affluence and poverty, have often prevented the one, and hastened those afflictions inseparably connected with the other. The consideration of those things presents us with a glaring proof of the corruption of human nature in general, and particularly its most desirable state, pretended conjugal felicity. The causes from which unhappiness arises in families are various; and although I never was a wife, yet I have seen many fatal instances of their pernicious effects. You yourself seem to be aware of this in the objections stated in your letter; and although I bave convincing proofs that your circumstances are consistent with your representation of them, yet the second objection is not so easily answered; nor, indeed, have you done it to my satisfaction. Your answers to the common objections made against step mothers are altogether rational; they are what reason will at all times dictate, and prudence on every occasion require; but you will excuse me if I tell you sincerely, that even in the opinion of the reflecting part of the world, the life of a step mother is far more disagreeable than you endeavor to persuade me. All eyes are upon thein, and even their virtues construed into faults. I acknowledge that it could never enter into the mind of a rational creature, I mean one that is really so, that a woman should tyrammize over two or three orphans, for no other reason, save only that their mother was their father's former wife.This would prove her guilty of three of the most odious crimes, capable of being committed in the conjugal state. First, inhumanity to the deceased mother; secondly, cruelty to the surviving children; and lastly, a total disrespect to her husband. For what woman would esteem the man, or what regard could she think he would have for her children, if he did not treat, or cause to be treated with tenderness, those who were born of a woman equally dear with herself? But you know, sir, that we live in the world; and few, I believe, would choose to have their lives rendered untrappy if they could possibly avoid it. Your character, circumstances, and accomplishments, might entitle you to a much better wife than me; but, I confess the above reasons weigh strong in my mind against such a connexion; and unless they are answered more to my satisfaction than what you have already done, I should choose to remain In the mean time, I shall be glad at all times to hear from Your sincere well wisher. as I am. DEAR MADAM, LETTER 116. The. Gentleman's Reply. I have always thought there were none more ready to condemn the conduct of others than those who are most guilty themselves, and of this your letter is a most convincing proof. Do not be surprised, for 1 aw really in earnest. You have accused me of acting the philosopher, whilst you seem much better acquainted with those sages than myself. But pray, madam, is it any great fault to write a love letter in a serious strain? Or should every thing on that subject be only a jumble of incoherent nonsense? Should the lover divest himself of the man, and because he prefers a woman to the rest of her sex, must he act the part of a fool to obtain her ? I dare venture to say you will answer in the negative. Your letter contains so many prudential reasons for refusing my offer, that I should be stupid indeed if I did not consider them as the result of a well informed judgment. All the objection I have to them is, that they appear too much grounded on popular censure. I believe you are well acquainted with the world, and you know that the best actions have been misrepresented, and the most amiable characters traduced. Nor has this been confided to any one station in life; it has diffused itself through them all; and, although its baleful influence has often rendered innocence miserable, yet the prudent will despise it with that contempt it so justly merits. Virtue is its own reward; and happiness -Deaf to folly's call, 66 Attend the music of the mind." Whilst a woman of your good sense has the answers of a good conscience in approbation of your conduct, how insignificant must the envious censures of malice appear, when compared with real peace of mind Indeed, I think I shall not be guilty of blasphemy when I call your refinement of sentiment, false delicacy. However, as I said before, I am really in earnest; and, if I have not formed an erroneous judgment, you are the only person I have conversed with, since I became a widower, with whom I think I can live happy. And will you, madam, be so cruel as to reject my suit? I do not think it is consistent with your good nature; and, although I think it is beneath a generous mind to purchase a wife, yet I shall be willing to make you a settlement adequate to your utmost wishes, besides a sufficiency for your children, if we should be blessed with any. Your answer to this is impatiently expected by Your real admirer. SIR, LETTER 117. From the Lady, in Answer. I perused your letter, and begin to be afraid that I have tampered with you too long, to conceal the real sentiments of my mind from one so justly entitled to know them as you are. My objections, I assure you, sir, were not the effect of levity, but arose from the most mature deliberation; nor would I, on any account, impose on the man to whom I intended to give my hand, and consequently my heart. This would have been a crime attended with more aggravated circumstances than any which you have mentioned, and less entitled to an excuse. Hypocrisy is the same under whatever character it appears; and the person who is guilty of it in the smallest matters will be equally so in the greatest. Your answer to my objections are altogether satisfactory, and I am now convinced that I may now become your wife, and at the same time at least a nominal mother to your children; I say nominal, for although I should on all occasions consider myself obliged to act with humanity to your children as well as my own, yet I may be still named by the above appellation. However, as your person, company and conversation are agreeable, and as your character stands unimpeached, I am almost inclined to try that life to which I have been hitherto a stranger. It is, I assure you, with diffidence, and if attended with any unfavorable circumstances, may possibly be more my fault than yours. We cannot foresee future events, and are therefore obliged to leave them to the direction of an unerring Providence. I shall therefore not detain you any longer, but only to inform you, that my brother was married yesterday to Miss Bright; may every happiness attend them both in time and eternity! You will receive a letter enclosed from him, and you may be assured that I have not now any objections against being connected with you for life. The time fixed for that period depends entirely upon your own choice and appointment, and I think you cannot reasonably desire more. All that I desire, is on to be treated consistently with the professions you have already made. If so, I think I cannot fail of being as happy as is consistent with the state of affairs in this world, and I do not look for miracles.As you will doubtless be much hurried before you set out for London, one letter more will be sufficient till I see you; in the mean time, may you rest content and happy.. I am yours truly. SIR, LETTER 118. The Brother's Letter. I know not of any gentleman who ever yet honored me with his company, for whom I have a greater regard than yourself; and the agreeable hours we have spent together, cannot be equalled unless they are repeated. When I read your first letter to my sister, I considered your proposal of marriage as the highest honor that could be conferred on our family; and yet, without partiality, I firmly believe that the woman to whom you have paid your addresses has merit equal to any in the world. She returned from the boarding school about ten years ago, during which time she has superintended the affairs of my family, and conducted them with such prudence as is seldom met with in one of her years. Many offers have been made to her, by fox hunters in our neighborhood, but their characters were so totally opposite to her sentiments that she rejected them with the utmost disdain, although apparently beneficial. My sister, sir, has much more refined notions than to pay any more regard to affluence than what would procure her an independent subsistence, and too great a regard to her conscience to sacrifice her peace of mind to enjoy the greatest earthly grandeur. To use her own words, she considers riches as laying her under an additional obligation to act for the good of her fellow creatures, as a faithful steward of that Almighty Being, who has declared that he will exact a strict account from his creatures, in what manner they have used those gifts which his unbounded liberality has bestowed. Her leisure hours have been spent in reading; and when I have met with her in the garden or in the fields, she had constantly in her hands either Thomson, Milton, or Young, but most commonly the Bible. It may possibly occur to your thoughts that what I have said in commendation of a beloved sister arises from a fraternal affection; but I do assure you, sir, that I could not help repeating her many accomplishments, were you an utter stranger, and even a married man. A person even destitute of virtue and sensibility might remain ignorant of my sister's merits forever; but, by one of your worth, I doubt not but they will be estimated by their real value. Light and darkness cannot dwell together, nor can those of opposite tempers ever be happy; but where there is an intellectual as well as corporeal union, nothing in this life can interrupt its rational enjoyment. But I had almost forgot that I was writing to one who is well acquainted with these things; nor should I have enlarged so much had not I regarded your friendship and interest on the one hand, and my sister's happiness on the other. Yet, not to detain you any longer, my consent for a happy union is not only at your service, but, as I said before, I shall consider it as a very happy event; and I have not the least doubt of your ever repenting of your choice. I have heard that secular affairs call for your attendance in London; when those are settled I shall be glad to hear from you, and also of my sister and you being happily joined in marriage. In the mean time, she is at my house, where you may freely correspond, and am Your sincere friend. |